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Old 18th July 2008, 15:30   #61
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Originally Posted by PatienceWins View Post
This is really touching. I see some similarities. My son uses the same words except 'I Love you'. My son also brings me the shoe , watch and key when I am going out. My son usually sleeps laying on my chest.

Good you are able to spend time with your family. May Allah bless you and your family.

@Patiencewins, thanks for your wishes.

I remember my father used to travel a lot and get transferred across Tamilnadu. So I really havent spent time with him and he also has not shown his love openely. But after seeing how my wife / me and sister /BIL show our love on our children my father is a transformed man. Like somebody said "Men become fathers only with their grand children" (definetly holds good for the previous generation fathers).

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Old 20th July 2008, 12:01   #62
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The experience of parenthood took a knock for me today. Just rolled in my hotel in US to get a call from my wife to say that a very good friend's son died from an asthma attack which induced a cardiac arrest.

My daughter is asthmatic and also suffered like he did, but not as severely. We always took precautions and monitored (not to say that the bereaved parents did not, they did much more!). My wife actually put her career on hold for this.

Being there, my wife is shattered.
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Old 20th July 2008, 18:12   #63
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Good thread indeed!

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Originally Posted by PatienceWins View Post
Set a good example (Very Important): He just imitates our speech and behaviour. If we set a good example, he will definitely a good individual.
So true! Everytime i see a grown up doing stuff that's incorrect or unwarranted i only wonder what kind of example are they setting for their kids and the younger generation.
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Old 20th July 2008, 20:16   #64
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Originally Posted by ajmat View Post
The experience of parenthood took a knock for me today. Just rolled in my hotel in US to get a call from my wife to say that a very good friend's son died from an asthma attack which induced a cardiac arrest.

My daughter is asthmatic and also suffered like he did, but not as severely. We always took precautions and monitored (not to say that the bereaved parents did not, they did much more!). My wife actually put her career on hold for this.

Being there, my wife is shattered.
sorry to hear that ajmat, things like these shake our belief big time. hope both of your families recover from the shock and wish a healthy life to all.
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Old 20th July 2008, 21:44   #65
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Originally Posted by ajmat View Post
The experience of parenthood took a knock for me today. Just rolled in my hotel in US to get a call from my wife to say that a very good friend's son died from an asthma attack which induced a cardiac arrest.

My daughter is asthmatic and also suffered like he did, but not as severely. We always took precautions and monitored (not to say that the bereaved parents did not, they did much more!). My wife actually put her career on hold for this.

Being there, my wife is shattered.
@Ajmat, I know how it feels to hear news like this. Be confident and strong, that makes a lot of difference. My sister is a pediatrician and is in India for next 20 days (she lives in the Uk). In case you need any help / second opinion do get in touch with me.

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Old 20th July 2008, 22:35   #66
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Being there, my wife is shattered.
Hope your wife has a good support group. How old was this kid?
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Old 21st July 2008, 03:34   #67
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here is a tip for all parents of asthmatic kids or the ones who have a family history somewhere. please keep all soft toys away, and do not use carpet anywhere in the house. We tried hard but could not get a hardwood floor ourselves in US. luckily we do not have a risk so far.

Mite - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
House dust mites and asthma

and second thing I would want you warn you about is diabetes.

Daily Diabetic: India is Diabetes Capital of the World

it's a disease with disastrous consequences. let's try our best to keep our children off being one of the statistics. I have seen parents taking pride in being able to give their children a large ice cream cone or a big chcolate everyday. not sure what they are trying to prove. And if anyone thinks we need added sugars in our diet, I am ready to discuss it.
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Old 21st July 2008, 06:52   #68
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vivekiny2k : I have seen parents taking pride in being able to give their children a large ice cream cone or a big chcolate everyday
It can be difficult to make children understand the consequences of too much sweets - more immediately from the POV of their teeth being prone to decay. While too many sweets may not immediately harm a person, but it helps to inculcate discipline.

One thing that can help is to try make them understand that what tastes /feels good now, will cause problems later.

Eg:
* Sweets. Tastes good now, but over a period of time - cavities.
* Not brushing teeth at night - feels easier now. But again, cavities very soon.

Actually, this above point can be used in a wide variety of situations, including studies or any other daily /routine activities like cleaning room etc.

Then again, it is something we ourselves can use in daily life !
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Old 21st July 2008, 12:49   #69
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Originally Posted by ajmat View Post
My daughter is asthmatic and also suffered like he did, but not as severely. We always took precautions and monitored (not to say that the bereaved parents did not, they did much more!). Being there, my wife is shattered.
Ajmat, sorry to hear that.Hope you and your family recover from the shock.
Asthma requires strict food control and the one can minimize the problem by keeping them self physically fit.My father was asthmatic and my sister also.Its actually the medicine that makes patient weak than the asthma.
As vivekiny2k said dust and cold will increase their problems, explain your daughter about the same (i know you would have done this already)-just wanted to share.

Last edited by mohang_j : 21st July 2008 at 12:51.
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Old 21st July 2008, 13:14   #70
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It can be difficult to make children understand the consequences of too much sweets -
that's why I decided to educate the parents first . especially the ones who treat their children even when not asked for.
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Old 16th January 2009, 20:36   #71
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caffeine and sugar addiction can be BAD. here's an interesting discussion. Parents, this condition is set in childhood. Keep your kids safe.

Amazon.com: Pop: Please help me give it up! - health Discussion Forum
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Old 19th March 2009, 12:12   #72
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What a topic to discuss . Nothing can replace the joy of seeing your kids grow up esp between 0-4 , i learned the hard way and have made some compromise for the sake of my kids. Am blessed with 2 kids , when my daughter was born , i had to rush back on official tour within an hour and return to see my daughter after 1 week and then due to hectic work schedule i missed her grow for first 2 years except on weekends ( by the time am out in morning she is sleeping & when i return she is sleeping) and after 2 years my son was born , this time i was travelling and was inside an aircraft taxing for take-off when i got to hear about the good news again i saw my son after 3 days since my boss wanted the project to go so i had to stay , everyone at home were furious and that's when i decided enough of the Rat race and shifted for a smaller company without a fancy desgn. Now am happy for my decision since i could see my kids grow , be with them , enjoy & savour every moment of little naughty acts / tantrums and atleast i feel now i have madeup for the lost time with my daughter .

Some things i feel make kids grow up better .
a) Never show your anger to them ,Kids start supressing their real self due to fear and try to work their way around that's when they try all tricks like pestering / lying etc.

b) Reward with praise / affection rather than material gifts like chocolate / icecreams . since it registers in their mind that all good work will be rewarded with gifts and the demand for sure will grow bigger by the passing day.

c) every kid has their learnign curve & limitations . My daughter by 2 1/2 yrs cud recite rhymes and my son at the same age does noteven utter words and already we have many suggesting to enroll him to play school, however we will let him have his own time.

d) As Vivek rightly pointed out conditioning kids for our natural living is very important in the long run . even though we might afford all material luxuries in life it is better we keep out these luxuries till they are atleast 6-8 yrs old .

e) Self restraint in every form for the betterment of our kids. I have great weakness for chocolate/icecream however i have not had even single bar in last 2 years jus because i dont want my kids to think papa is wrong in telling us not to have chocolates.

i think this can go on & on .. i will stop .
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Old 19th March 2009, 12:23   #73
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Originally Posted by rm_arjuna View Post
Nothing can replace the joy of seeing your kids grow up
How true, the whole meaning of life changed after i became a father. The whole day in office is spend just so that i can get back home to be with my kid. The long hours are suddenly not required and surely not important.

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i decided enough of the Rat race and shifted for a smaller company without a fancy desgn.
Oh how similiar. Lived in a suitcase for the first 2 years of married life. I used to see my wife and parents on monthends.

When my first child was on its way - my wife was in hospital for 5 days. I was travelling back from the US and flew into Bangalore at 2 am. I saw a message from my wife that it would happen anytime that day.

I didnt know what to do. The next flight to Goa was only in the afternoon. I took out the Bolero at 3:30 am, filled fuel at airport road and drove continuously for 11 hours to reach Panaji. The baby was delivered 3 hours after i reached Goa.

The joy and happiness to hear the news and actually being there is unparalled. I could not have forgiven myself if i could have missed being there when my first baby was born.

I too understood that its not worth it and moved to a smaller company with lesser travel involved.

Please go on with your experiences its a joy to read.
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Old 19th March 2009, 12:40   #74
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rm_arjuna : e) Self restraint in every form for the betterment of our kids. I have great weakness for chocolate/icecream however i have not had even single bar in last 2 years jus because i dont want my kids to think papa is wrong in telling us not to have chocolates.
Lead by example. It's simple, and the sure-fire method to get your kids to do what you want them to do.

They look up to you. When you yourself do what you want them to do, they will start to see that you walk your talk. They have an example in the people they depend on. There is consistency in what you say & do ; and no double standards for you and them that way. And would not have a reason not to do it themselves.

Quote:
Spitfire : I didnt know what to do. The next flight to Goa was only in the afternoon. I took out the Bolero at 3:30 am, filled fuel at airport road and drove continuously for 11 hours to reach Panaji. The baby was delivered 3 hours after i reached Goa.
Salute ! Worth every bit of the effort, and more. Much More.
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Old 19th March 2009, 15:17   #75
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Beautiful thread this is.Love to see what we can do for our kids ex.spitfire's post.Someday I shall post my story here.
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