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Old 19th May 2009, 14:01   #91
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Well, living with parent & wify is a totally different thing.

U can hang out with friends up to late night & can stay away from home whole night, if you are living with parents.

Imaginewhat your wife wll do next morning, if you do the same thing??

the friends & that bachelor life is badly missed after marriage.

SO, yes, there are lots of pros & cons of marriage.
Depends dude. Dunno how i missed this thread. Relationships are all about trusting your partner. I have no issues with my wife having a girl's night out or me having my guys night out whatsoever. No issues, not at all. As long as we are committed to each other and show our responsibility towards our respective/designated/decided chores, it hardly matters. The Wife and her unmarried girlfriend went last year to visit her married friend in Chandigarh for a week. Did i have an issue, No. I am going tomorrow with my friends to Goa for our long awaited DCH trip. My wife was so happy for me, why? Its trust dude. Relations cannot be based on chauvinism, that used to happen generations ago. Even my father has never imposed anything on Mom ever. I have always encouraged my wife to take up something, maybe open up her own place. She's a designer of Tunics & Indian wear. She holds her occasional exhibitions & takes orders from home not to earn but to pass her time. Its a different matter all together that she does not want to have a full time business. She doesn't want to get busy as we may soon decide to start our family, its her decision. She has her own hobbies like yoga, swimming, taking that umpteenth driving lesson (i will not let her give it up).

I don't think my wife has a problem with me going out with the guys & vice versa with her girlfriends. I have come really late from parties (4-5am) & text her to keep her informed so that she can sleep well. Its TRUST, my friend.

Last edited by anilkalvani : 19th May 2009 at 14:03.
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Old 29th May 2009, 18:44   #92
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Default what about the girls??

I'm not married nor am I a feminist! but one question:

What about the Travails of the Married Woman!!. I mean she's the one who leave's her family in the first place and is dependent on the Man she's married to.
Then how can the man suddenly come up with the idea of living the life of a bachelor all over again.


P.S.: No offense meant to anyone, Just my thoughts!!
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Old 29th May 2009, 21:37   #93
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Originally Posted by maglev View Post
I'm not married nor am I a feminist! but one question:

What about the Travails of the Married Woman!!. I mean she's the one who leave's her family in the first place and is dependent on the Man she's married to.
Then how can the man suddenly come up with the idea of living the life of a bachelor all over again.


P.S.: No offense meant to anyone, Just my thoughts!!
Its not that we want to be Bachelor again , but its all about giving space and independence to one another.
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Old 29th May 2009, 23:01   #94
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Originally Posted by maglev;1325476
What about the [B
Travails of the Married Woman!![/b].
of course there are. you are just looking on the wrong forum. Head to wives' afternoon parties to hear their side of the story


This thread started as an innocent rant of somebody who could not do things as he used to, after marriage. and has gone off topic many times since then.
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Old 30th May 2009, 02:42   #95
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Originally Posted by anilkalvani View Post
Depends dude. Dunno how i missed this thread. Relationships are all about trusting your partner. I have no issues with my wife having a girl's night out or me having my guys night out whatsoever. No issues, not at all. As long as we are committed to each other and show our responsibility towards our respective/designated/decided chores, it hardly matters. The Wife and her unmarried girlfriend went last year to visit her married friend in Chandigarh for a week. Did i have an issue, No. I am going tomorrow with my friends to Goa for our long awaited DCH trip. My wife was so happy for me, why? Its trust dude. Relations cannot be based on chauvinism, that used to happen generations ago. Even my father has never imposed anything on Mom ever. I have always encouraged my wife to take up something, maybe open up her own place. She's a designer of Tunics & Indian wear. She holds her occasional exhibitions & takes orders from home not to earn but to pass her time. Its a different matter all together that she does not want to have a full time business. She doesn't want to get busy as we may soon decide to start our family, its her decision. She has her own hobbies like yoga, swimming, taking that umpteenth driving lesson (i will not let her give it up).

I don't think my wife has a problem with me going out with the guys & vice versa with her girlfriends. I have come really late from parties (4-5am) & text her to keep her informed so that she can sleep well. Its TRUST, my friend.
you've found a rare woman...MOST indian women ive come across dont embody these qualities and/or are immature...
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Old 15th September 2009, 12:52   #96
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Lightbulb Dummies Guide to convicing the better half

This post is intended for all the travel gurus and road-runners who take long trips on the wheels with their spouces as their navigator / photographer etc. etc. etc. and they are happy to do multi-tasking.

Please advice poor souls like me (and I am sure there are quite a few on the forum like me) how to convince the better half to
1. come along with us on looooong drives? The most I have travelled in my car is from Pune to Vadodara and Ganapatipule; and that too after a lot of hardwork
2. send us on long drives - I am yearning to go to Ladakh and almost every 2-3 days we have arguments over it. My parents and her parents are obviously with her and I find myself in a losing battle. My son is with me and he tells my wife "why do you argue with papa, If you dont want to come, I will take him to Leh in my school auto".

Guys / Gals - please help. Please tell me the tactics that work in this situation .

I hope I can go to (drive to) Leh as planned.
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Old 15th September 2009, 12:58   #97
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This is going to be one interesting thread.
BTW going to Leh in an Auto looks like very adventurous idea.
My one cent : go through the travelogues posted on tbhp when your family(read :wife) is around and just keep praising them without taking note of her presence. She will get intrigued and will try and look up and that is then you bombard with your emotional outburst.
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Old 15th September 2009, 13:17   #98
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Originally Posted by advaitlele View Post
The most I have travelled in my car is from Pune to Vadodara and Ganapatipule; and that too after a lot of hardwork
I am yearning to go to Ladakh and almost every 2-3 days we have arguments over it.
haha advait,

one advice, small steps leads to long walk.

as you had stated that you traveled in your car to vadodara and ganapatipule, it means that you and your family are not seasoned traveler in your car. and you asking to go leh, even my parents and wife do not allow me to go leh while i had started the thread for leh in other section. so don't worry about leh, you will go there with your family when proper time arrives.

go to one day drives with your family. let them experience the fun of drive, fun of local food, fun of nature. make one day drive to two day drives. let them experience new locations, new hotels, resorts, home stays. as you are located at pune, you have ample one day and two days sights within your reach.
do long holidays of @5/6 days once in a while.
your family will start to enjoy the drives and holidays.
your parents will have confidence in your driving skills over the time.

after this exercise, i am confident, your wife will demand the enjoyable drives and you have to take unpaid holidays to fullfill her wish.

Last edited by ASHISHPALLOD : 15th September 2009 at 13:25.
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Old 15th September 2009, 13:34   #99
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Can't give you any suggestions as of now due to lack of a better half!
I am subscribing to this thread for future reference!
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Old 15th September 2009, 13:51   #100
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Originally Posted by advaitlele View Post
My son is with me and he tells my wife "why do you argue with papa, If you dont want to come, I will take him to Leh in my school auto".
Wow you have a lovely kid I suppose, a true potentially future Team-Bhpian.
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Originally Posted by ASHISHPALLOD View Post
go to one day drives with your family.
Yeah I would second that too, I would say infact start off with some temple.

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Can't give you any suggestions as of now due to lack of a better half!
I am subscribing to this thread for future reference!
Super cool, even I m doing it.
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Old 15th September 2009, 14:11   #101
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Damn! This should be in the Technical section . Eagerly waiting for some wise cracks.
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Old 15th September 2009, 14:13   #102
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Ha ha I had a similar situation a year back and have so far managed to reach somewhere beyond the boundary of the small steps but yet to reach the long walk part.
I can suggest teaching driving to your better half as well, that will be a motivation to go on long drives to improve the driving skills.
But dont go too far in driving lessons as you might have to relinquish the controls altogether which happens now in my case
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Old 15th September 2009, 14:22   #103
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The "better half" should not have any physical discomforts on long drives. If she's of the type who is prone to bio-mechanical pains/motion sickness upon longer drives, then every other point becomes moot.
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Old 15th September 2009, 14:30   #104
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I still dont know how to put multiple quotes on the reply :( so am quoting here.
@ Ashish - Thanks buddy. Thats a very important advice. I am not booking my Vadodara train tickets which my wife told me to do. I am driving there instead during Diwali time. Since she knows how to drive but is afraid to drive in Pune traffic, I would ask her to take the steering wheel on some section of Exp-way. We have till now traveled everywhere by air/train and that probably is hindering the scene now.

@ rranjith_kum - he surely deserves to be the youngest BHPian, only if he is able to read/write. At 3.5 years he recognises all (and I mean ALL) Indian car models and with the sound that they make whether its a petrol or diesel one. So T-BHP would get a petrol head in a few years.

@ theMAG - my wife loves to travel but not by car, probably she is not accustomed to it.

Travel Gurus - plz plz pour in with your comments.
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Old 15th September 2009, 14:33   #105
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The "better half" should not have any physical discomforts on long drives. If she's of the type who is prone to bio-mechanical pains/motion sickness upon longer drives, then every other point becomes moot.
+1 to this , I bought a Scorpio keeping in Mind that people can sleep while we drive in lying flat on back seats. Comfort has to be prime.

As all gurus have said start with small or with the trips where no comfortable means are available. These will have 2 benefits

1. Small 1 -2 day trips will make them habitual traveller & they would love comforts of the car
2. When they have to travel a Bus / taxi as nothing else is available they would give in to your alternate suggestion of going via car.

For going to Kashmir (which I have done 5-6 times, Not LEH though) the best bet is Train only goes till Jammu & Flight is so un adventurous & costly. 5-6 people we will have to do taxi & all so best is to go via own car
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