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Old 20th May 2009, 10:40   #76
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Just meant that I would never call it that. Maybe some people would do, don't know - would be very narrow-minded and ignorant though.
I would call it unacceptable though but only for me personally. As I already said, everyone is different and so are everyone's expectations. The concept may be unacceptable for oneself but this does not mean it is silly.
I think we are on the same page here. I have a friend who finds this whole thing unacceptable. I have wasted many hours over drinks while trying to make him see the light, everytime one of our common friends went for arranged marriage!

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Yes, one! And one more to come next week.
Cool! Arent they awesome?
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Old 20th May 2009, 11:00   #77
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I think we are on the same page here...
Ah, you were too quick lol. Wasn't sure if my words sounded right so I deleted the first part of my post which you quoted below. Well, guess there was no need to worry.



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Cool! Arent they awesome?
They are very nice, indeed. This time it will be a new experience for me as I am also invited to the Mehendi, getting Henna designs on my hands, dancing Bollywood style etc.
And for the ceremony, I will wear a Saree - first time ever!

Last edited by TheOne® : 20th May 2009 at 11:01.
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Old 20th May 2009, 11:22   #78
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You are right in your .....that rarely happens in India because of the secrecy.
+1 to that.

One major reason for the secrecy and near-taboo like status of dating is the vast taxonomy of the religion/cast/sub-caste/sects, etc. that we have in India. Getting married within a 'community' is still a number one priority for 95% of the Indian families.
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Old 20th May 2009, 12:32   #79
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+1 to that.

One major reason for the secrecy and near-taboo like status of dating is the vast taxonomy of the religion/cast/sub-caste/sects, etc. that we have in India. Getting married within a 'community' is still a number one priority for 95% of the Indian families.
Gosh, thats an understatement.
It is THE only thing in Indian families.

You being a crook, indulging in criminal activities etc - all is fine, and probably accepted, but no compromise on this aspect. Ever.
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Old 20th May 2009, 13:08   #80
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They are very nice, indeed. This time it will be a new experience for me as I am also invited to the Mehendi, getting Henna designs on my hands, dancing Bollywood style etc.
And for the ceremony, I will wear a Saree - first time ever!
Welcome to the dark side Jenny. It's gonna be a lot of fun.

And by the way guys, she's going to dance to "Desi girl, my desi girl" at the sangeet, only I will shout VI before every chorus, making it

Who's the hottest girl in the world?
Vi-desi girl, vi-desi girl.
Thumka lagake she'll rock your world
Vi-desi girl. vi-desi girl...

Last edited by Sam Kapasi : 20th May 2009 at 13:11.
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Old 20th May 2009, 13:51   #81
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They are very nice, indeed. This time it will be a new experience for me as I am also invited to the Mehendi, getting Henna designs on my hands, dancing Bollywood style etc.
And for the ceremony, I will wear a Saree - first time ever!
Hope Sam has started practising putting on the sari.
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Old 20th May 2009, 14:52   #82
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Hmmm. So Sam, have you bought yourself a nice Kurta - Churidar for the occasion as well, to accompany Jenny in saaree?
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Old 20th May 2009, 16:52   #83
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And by the way guys, she's going to dance to "Desi girl, my desi girl" at the sangeet, only I will shout VI before every chorus, making it
Lol, what does this VI mean?

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Hope Sam has started practising putting on the sari.
Please! If Sam wraps the Saree, I will not be able to go - he will make me look like a mummy - "round and round and round we go, oooops now what?"

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Hmmm. So Sam, have you bought yourself a nice Kurta - Churidar for the occasion as well, to accompany Jenny in saaree?
Of course! We will be a nice match!!!
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Old 20th May 2009, 17:00   #84
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Lol, what does this VI mean?
VI is same as adding A to a word in English.

English: a + moral = amoral (lack of moral)
Hindi: vi + desi = videsi (lack of Indianness)
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Old 20th May 2009, 17:10   #85
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Hindi: vi + desi = videsi (lack of Indianness)
Ooooh, thanks for the explanation.
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Old 20th May 2009, 17:14   #86
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Videsi simply means foreign. The word normally has a positive connotation.

Samurai please refer to http://www.team-bhp.com/forum/shifti...ur-speech.html (How to create an impression on a woman with your speech)
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Old 20th May 2009, 17:28   #87
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Videsi simply means foreign. The word normally has a positive connotation.
Vi-desi or Par-desi means non-Indian, I am not sure whether Hindi has a word for foriegn. Now who said it was negative?
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Old 20th May 2009, 17:30   #88
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In an Indian set up there is a lot of pressure on both the parties not to break up the marriage. So generally it is the woman who keeps on compromising for the rest of her life. Man is in no better situation as well, running from pillar to post to make things even between his folks and wife.
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Old 20th May 2009, 18:15   #89
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I am not sure whether Hindi has a word for foriegn.
I believe the word is vilayati. Vilayati mem, lol.
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Old 20th May 2009, 18:19   #90
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I'm not married, so i cannot comment upon marriage related issues with a great deal of confidence. A time for that discussion, for me, will happen a lot later.

BUT...

I speak on behalf of my generation when i say that I am sick of moralistic ideologies. In terms of the society, i think we have devolved, to a stage that is ridiculous and unacceptable.

Girls in most households are raised with an arranged marriege in mind. A boyfriend is a social no no, lest some prospective groom were to find out and reject on grounds of an unchaste bride-to-be.

What the hell have we become?? Suppress any kind of sexual/emotional urge for 24 years????

This, in my mind leads to dirty actions/ dirty thoughts. The more you hold an urge down, the more it will manifest in other ways, and be assured they won't be pleasant. To the older generations on this forum, no offense meant if that is your school of thought. But we are completely different from your crop.

To those who are going red in the ears and thinking of wonderful ways to dress down this post, let me ask you, why do you think a relationship before the 'time' has come will affect anything in the future? If the boy (who in all probability is worth his weight in gold because he's got a fat paying job in the States) finds this unacceptable, then the clot doesn't DESERVE the girl.

My mother always says (and i disagree whole-heartedly) the marriages are between families and there has to be cohesion between the in-laws. So a marriage between two people is decided on how well their parents get along?? It isn't always possible to share the same traditions and customs, but we're all Indian! If anyone's seen My Big Fat Greek wedding, the bride's father stands up and says during the toast (the groom is American) - We're Apples and Oranges, but we're still all fruits.

The role of sexual intimacy before marriage is what everything boils down to, if you were to dissect the issue. Why can't you (the person reading this and who disagrees) understand that sex is nothing to be ashamed about? It is as natural as getting hungry or feeling thirsty. Be open about it, and don't hide it behind a dirty magazines and websites.

My ludicrous post comes to an end. These are my views, and i maybe alone. I couldn't give a fart less.

Last edited by Nitronium : 20th May 2009 at 18:21. Reason: I calmed down :D
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