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Old 30th July 2009, 16:57   #1
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Default My funny experience(s) at PVR-Phoenix cinema, Mumbai

Let's go see Harry Potter then!

We had both been dying to see Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince. So when Jenny came to my office yesterday, I thought it would be a cool idea to go to the cinema and watch it.

Tickets? Naah, it's a weekday, I was pretty sure we'd get them easily.

So at around 6.30 we landed up at Phoenix and bought tickets.
What class Sir?
Uhh.. What do you have?

To be honest, I don't come from that group of people that automatically buy the most expensive ticket in a cinema. I know many friends that do it and I am often amused to see them one row behind me.

We have 125 and 175 sir.

No I mean, can you show me a map?

As I suspected, the last row of the 125 and the first row of the 175 are almost the same.

I'll take these 2 seats please. Here's 250/-


We spend a little time around Phoenix, that's easy. At about 7.20 we go to the cinema.
I wait patiently for Jenny to finish her fighting with the security ladies.

It happens every single time we go for a movie. They try to take her camera or her batteries and she fights. She stands there arguing while I stand to the side.

No, I have no idea who that lady is.


As we approach Cinema number 2, somebody calls out to us.

Sir, Harry Potter?
I suppress the urge to reply No, Sam Kapasi! and simply nod instead.

Sir, screen has been changed, it's in number 3 instead of number 2.
Oh? How strange. Ah well OK then.

We enter screen number 3 and walk up to our seats. There's some people sitting in them.
Umm.. I think you have our seats.
No, these are our seats, says the girl looking back at me.

We have H-5 and 6 I say, waving my tickets at her in the dark.
Well so do we!
You're H 5 and 6?
Yeah, we have 3, 4, 5 and 6.
How can that be?
Well there seems to be some confusion because they shifted us from screen 2 to 3...
But they shifted us too!


I am irritated. Could it be that they have combined 2 Harry Potter shows and screwed everything up?
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Old 30th July 2009, 17:01   #2
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Yet another slice of the Yeti's life. Way to go bro

*popcorn*
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Old 30th July 2009, 17:06   #3
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I look around but see no one in the cinema with a torch.

This is really annoying. I hate this sort of rubbish. I walk out again and find the ticket attendant.
There's somebody in my seat.
What?
There's somebody in my seat and they won't get up. They say they have the same seat numbers.


He accompanies me, but they're gone. So looks at Jennifer and almost asks her to get up, lol.
I thank him and look at Jenny curiously.

They made that story up so they could sit together. Nice try.
I shake my head.
I would never sit in a cinema unless I have centre seats. It is needed for the experience

Soon after the National Anthem, the movie begins. The movie has a very dynamic beginning which is completely marred by all the latecomers and the act-smarters.

Eh MONTY! Kidhar hai? someone yells in the dark.
Idhar, idhar Monty yells, flashing his mobile phone.

More and more people come in late, crossing my face and making sounds.

J 7 and J8 These are our seats.
So sit on some other seats.
No you sit somewhere else, these are our seats.


Me, I'm just trying to watch the Death Eaters, I am.
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Old 30th July 2009, 17:12   #4
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I am not going to read this. I have been ditched by the Yeti and his Yetini.
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Old 30th July 2009, 17:12   #5
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Hahahahah.. Good one Sam. As always.

Edit: @NC, I'm not talking about the ditching part.
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Old 30th July 2009, 17:21   #6
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Things have settled down. The movie is odd. Certainly not for kids.

Overall the movie is kind of.... devoid of any colour. That's what it is. An overall dull greenish hue, similar to The Matrix (as opposed to the overall bluish hue most Hollywood movies have)

Time flies and we're deeply engrossed in the movie, except for the teenager in the back who has NOW taken it upon himself to explain the ENTIRE Harry Potter story to his Dad while we're watching this movie.

SSSSHHHHHH!!!!!



We're back to the film.


Without warning the bright lights come on. It's the interval. I find this very funny. Most Hollywood films are short and don't need an interval.
But the theatre needs to sell Popcorn...

We walk out and Jenny buys some Caramel Popcorn.
Yes, only caramel please, not mixed.
She gets a large box of mixed anyways.

I am antsy as the movie has stopped at a crucial moment.

The movie starts. I'm trying to see the screen, but I cannot see clearly. The house lights are still on. And they are bright.

a few minutes later, the house lights are still fully lit as the movie progresses. I look around, to the back and around the cinema. There is no staff.

The movie is chugging along with the hall in full brightness.
A few people show AAYY... SSHHH... LIGHT!!

Nothing happens.
5 minutes later I conclude that this is too much. I don't care about the others, I cannot watch the movie like this. I run down the stairs and storm out of the cinema hall to find one usher lazily standing outside.

Light band karo!
Huh?

Arrey andar ka light band karo. Interval HO gaya khatam.


He realises and nods quickly. Haan.

I run back in. In 30 seconds the light goes off. I am fuming. This is quite ridiculous.
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Old 30th July 2009, 17:22   #7
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Wonder if Monty was talking in between the movie too. definitely seems the types. So what happened next? And why is taking a camera into a cinema so important ? And whats wrong with taking it in anyway!?

Perhaps the moral of the story is that Sam bought a home theater.

Last edited by Takumi-san : 30th July 2009 at 17:23.
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Old 30th July 2009, 17:34   #8
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I am still fuming. This is PVR cinemas for crying out loud. First they slap an interval on us unnecessarily. Then I've missed 10 minutes of details in the movie because they forgot to switch the house lights off.

The movie progresses.

Harry takes the Felix Felicus, the liquid luck potion, finishes Aragog's funeral and Harry, Hagrid and Horace Slughorn are in Hagrid's home.
Harry watches as Hagrid and Professor Slughorn drink themselves silly.

As Harry watches them drink, music plays in the background.

Dhup dhichik,
Dhup dhichik,
Dhup dhichik


I turn towards Jenny. They've used Indian music?
Is it?
Yeah.


The music still plays and it's pretty loud. Horace Slughorn opens his mouth to speak.

Thoda resham lagta hai, thoda sheesha lagta hai
Heere moti chadte hain thoda...


The entire cinema is collectively stunned. It soon dawns on everyone that this is not part of the movie. Somebody has screwed up big time!
Peals of laughter ensue initially - especially since this is such a serious part of the movie.

After 2 minutes, people are whistling and howling, booing. I'm yelling too. It's all no use.

There is no staff again in the cinema. Harry Potter is progressing and we're listening to this ridiculous song while it's going on.

The movie itself cannot be heard at all. We can see all the actors moving their lips.

Thoda sheesha lagta hai, thoda sona lagta hai....
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Old 30th July 2009, 17:43   #9
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The song is still going on. Not a staff member in sight.

This is really too much.

I storm down the stairs and push the door open. As I open the door I realise that the same song is playing outside.
Somehow the main music from the lobby of the theatre has been connected to inside the auditorium.

There is no usher there. Nobody,

There is a stupid pull-barrier there. I push it to the side and walk out into the popcorn lobby. There is NOBODY!

I see a guy with a mop in uniform. Out of desperation I yell at him.

Manager kidhar hai?
Kya hua
he says obligingly
Arrey andar music baj raha hai, picture ke badle. Band karo!

Nahi Sir,
he says smiling. Music sirf bahar hai. Aap jaaiye picture dekhiye.
My eyes are popping out with rage.
Tum andar aao I yell, opening the heavy padded door.

Heere moti lagte hai...

Yeh kya hai??

He looks more confused now. I turn to find someone else in uniform.

What is the problem Sir?

Now I am yelling.

What is the problem? What is the problem? You tell me what is the problem? Please come here, I say opening the door. Do you hear this?
He nods.

Dhup dhichik
Dhup dhichik
Dhup dhichik


DO YOU THINK THIS SONG IS IN HARRY POTTER????








To be continued

Last edited by Sam Kapasi : 30th July 2009 at 17:47.
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Old 30th July 2009, 17:51   #10
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This is the same exact situation that i face every time I go to watch a english movie in a multiplex which is playing the same movie dubbed in Hindi.

The Lights wont be dimmed until 5 min into the movie
The censor board certificate shows "Harry Potter (Hindi)" .. Yes I do read the fine print
All of us start yelling . "abe english main honi chaiye"
Finally silence prevails when the actors open their mouth and instead of the same hindi guy, we get to hear the actual voice. ( I hate to admit but I fell relieved every time this happens)

Well I can go on but your story makes the point pretty effectively
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Old 30th July 2009, 18:09   #11
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Damn Sam you had me in splits, LMAO

Quote:
Sir, Harry Potter?
I suppress the urge to reply No, Sam Kapasi! and simply nod instead.
Quote:
As Harry watches them drink, music plays in the background.

Dhup dhichik,
Dhup dhichik,
Dhup dhichik

I turn towards Jenny. They've used Indian music?
Is it?
Yeah.

The music still plays and it's pretty loud. Horace Slughorn opens his mouth to speak.

Thoda resham lagta hai, thoda sheesha lagta hai
Heere moti chadte hain thoda...
Hahahahah my stomach hurts,


Last edited by Technocrat : 30th July 2009 at 18:10.
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Old 30th July 2009, 18:23   #12
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ROFL!! Thats really funny!

I was laughing just reading your post!

On a serious note though, due to utter mismanagement ppl didn't get to see what they paid for!
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Old 30th July 2009, 18:31   #13
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Maybe for the show you went, nobody actually 'watches' a movie!!
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Old 30th July 2009, 18:33   #14
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Damn it Sam, you created a sense of Nostalgia in me. Had witnessed the exact same scenario eons ago, of course the theatre was low class and the move was not Harry Potter( Hairy ***** ). The songs which were a rage at the time(among the truckies) would play on cue to drown out the , (ummm to delicately put it )the exertions of the lead pair
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Old 30th July 2009, 18:37   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sohail99 View Post
On a serious note though, due to utter mismanagement ppl didn't get to see what they paid for!
I wouldn't say that - Sam could "see" the movie - its just that he wanted to be able to hear it as well.
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