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View Poll Results: Do you share household chores
I am a Man and Yes I do 105 85.37%
I am a Man and No I don't 15 12.20%
I am a Woman and my spouse shares the chores 2 1.63%
I am a Woman and my spouse does not share the chores 1 0.81%
Voters: 123. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 4th March 2010, 21:50   #16
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I don't mop the floors (as we have a bai to do that) but we (I+wife) share almost all of the household chores - and that includes cooking (nowadays I do less of it - but still a lot more than most males I know) and cleaning of the house.

Infact cleaning surfaces/furniture while listening to loud music is a thing I like to do just like cooking is something I enjoy doing - so its not much of a chore.
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Old 4th March 2010, 22:12   #17
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For me equality means , allow each other to do things in which She/He are good at. I do this most of the times, but not all the time.
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Old 4th March 2010, 22:49   #18
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Maximizing gains by effective utilization of resources/skills. Great. Yes, we do that in our home too.

Near to our apartment is a small slum. The women folks there work as house maids. Plus they do their house hold chores as well. The men folk are construction workers.

Every day evening, we see a fight from our balcony. The husband has returned home drunk, spending his entire daily wage in liqour. From the squabbles, it looks like family is run on wife's wage. He is beating her for some silly reason. Like less salt in food. And she is arguing and crying.

This happens every day.

Title of the thread - I agree with the spirit not the letter. It is inequality that starts at home. In most of the Indian houses.
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Old 4th March 2010, 22:50   #19
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bblost, +1 to that. But equality, whats that? There are 2 men in my home, I am 34 and the other one is 3 months old and we are constantly outnumbered by the one and only lady in the house I guess its time me and my son start demanding equality...LOL, just kidding. "2-2 bacche palna asaan kaam nahi hai" fav dialogue by her.
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Old 5th March 2010, 02:47   #20
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sbraj View Post
Every day evening, we see a fight from our balcony. The husband has returned home drunk, spending his entire daily wage in liqour. From the squabbles, it looks like family is run on wife's wage. He is beating her for some silly reason. Like less salt in food. And she is arguing and crying.
um, you may be mixing up domestic violence and inequality.

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Title of the thread - I agree with the spirit not the letter. It is inequality that starts at home. In most of the Indian houses
what do you mean you agree with the spirit?
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Old 5th March 2010, 10:04   #21
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Originally Posted by vivekiny2k View Post
um, you may be mixing up domestic violence and inequality.
To an extent, yes. Think about it this way. The poor woman does all the household chores, and goes for work also. She doesn't even get financial support from her husband. Isn't that unfair? (For a moment, let us set aside the domestic violence part.)

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Originally Posted by vivekiny2k View Post
what do you mean you agree with the spirit?
Well, in our country, life is still hugely unfair to women. We are discussing equality. True. But in majority of cases, it is inequality that starts at home?
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Old 5th March 2010, 10:38   #22
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Originally Posted by sbraj View Post
To an extent, yes. Think about it this way. The poor woman does all the household chores, and goes for work also. She doesn't even get financial support from her husband. Isn't that unfair? (For a moment, let us set aside the domestic violence part.)


Well, in our country, life is still hugely unfair to women. We are discussing equality. True. But in majority of cases, it is inequality that starts at home?

Sbraj, We are mixing up domestic voilance and inequality here, inequality in our case would be, i become a couch potato and my wife does all the houseold stuff.

Inequality would be, i asking my wife to go pay the electricity bills while its on my way to office.

Inequality would be i lying on the sofa and asking my wife in the kitchen to pickup the remote which is just a meter away(sometimes i do this one, i just love the expressions she gives after this ).

The issues which you raised are due to wrong upbringing. I have relatives who are daily wagers, the husband is a union member, wife is domestic help, they have 2 sons and a daughter, the elder son is an auto driver the younger one is a graduate so he works with some loan processing dept of some bank. I have seen these people to be the most god fearing and every now and then they going to the temple. the woman in the house is highly respected and though they take care of all the houseold chores. The men do their part of washing their own cloths and cleaning their own rooms.

I mean its the upbringing which is the biggest contributer in shapping someones character. I have seen some people who drink and occationally do boxing practice on their wife. But those are people who do not value anything in life.

In my four years of mariage i have not raised an arm or not spent more than 2 hours not talking to my wife. All our fights end ultimately at a resturant, she loves to eat .


Pramod
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Old 5th March 2010, 10:50   #23
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Originally Posted by pramodkumar View Post
Sbraj, We are mixing up domestic voilance and inequality here, inequality in our case would be, i become a couch potato and my wife does all the houseold stuff.

Inequality would be, i asking my wife to go pay the electricity bills while its on my way to office.
I don't think so, Pramod. See, the husband is not helping in household chores, both of them go to work, and then husband do not have any money for home. How is this domestic violence? Pardon me, but I fail to understand.

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Originally Posted by pramodkumar View Post
Inequality would be i lying on the sofa and asking my wife in the kitchen to pickup the remote which is just a meter away(sometimes i do this one, i just love the expressions she gives after this ).
Is this deliberately done? Just to see that expression?

Kids will give some relief to that over burdened sofa.

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Originally Posted by pramodkumar View Post
The issues which you raised are due to wrong upbringing.
True. But coming to think of it, helping in household chores is also influenced to some extent by upbringing. I know a friend who thinks it is a shame for men to do kitchen work. His religious beliefs do not permit him to do that.
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Old 5th March 2010, 11:01   #24
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I don't employ a maid, so I clean the house, mop the floors and do all the household work myself (I am single). I do intend to share the work equally when I get married. And I might employ a maid to do some of the work, in which case I will pay her (the maid) well and treat her with respect.
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Old 5th March 2010, 11:05   #25
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Originally Posted by bblost View Post
Its a simple question.
But from my interaction with other colleagues and friends, I understand that its not so in all the houses.
Toughest question of them all! Certainly not as simple as it sounds. Equality at home from the ladies' viewpoint is totally different from what male-dominated T-BHP members might project.

Equality at home is about obeying her commands and wishes. (Stop your team-bhp blogging - that doesn't mean she said Do the dishes)

Equality at home is about not leaving a mess behind. (Get out of the kitchen doesn't means your culinary abilities are bad - you just don't wipe the place sparkling clean after you've made the dishes. You're welcome to make breakfast tomorrow too, and the rest of the week after that)

Equality at home is about your enjoying inane serials on the telly together. If you don't, at least you can pretend! Cricket? F1 racing? WWE? You're wasting your time watching the idiot box.

Equality at home is about tourism with an agenda...
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...if such a saree is not in her collection already, it will be added within the next month or two (no, she wouldn't walk into the nearest showroom and buy at escalated retail prices - she'll find the lowest price possible). You might find it interesting to know that we have been to wholesale saree shops in cities from Kolkata to Hyderabad to Bangalore to Calicut to Delhi to Ahmedabad to Jaipur to Jamnagar to... Oh - never mind... you get the drift.
I hope you did???

Last edited by SS-Traveller : 5th March 2010 at 11:07.
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Old 5th March 2010, 11:11   #26
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sbraj View Post
I don't think so, Pramod. See, the husband is not helping in household chores, both of them go to work, and then husband do not have any money for home. How is this domestic violence? Pardon me, but I fail to understand..
These men have seen their fathers do it and their fathers have seen their fathers do it and so on. Let me tell you a small story. There was a old gurukul where the guru had a lot of disciples, and one day during teaching a cat comes and starts playing around. The guru is ok but he sees that the deciples getting distracted. So he orders one of his disciples to tie the cat on to the piller. So this continued every day and one day the guru died and one of his disciple becomes the next guru and one day the cat also dies. The next day the class dosent start on time. and the new guru looks at his disciples and says dont you know there has to be a cat tied to the piller everytime i conduct the class.

People never try to find out why certain things are done they simply follow. If father smokes son smokes, father drinks son drinks. Father hits his wife, chances are son will also do the same when he has a wife. Its all in the upbringing. I gave you the example of my relatives to make you understand that all people from similar background are not the same, we have bad people every where, being educated doesnt make us a good human. I have read in news papers as well as here about that teche couple in bangalore who used to torture their young maid.


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Originally Posted by sbraj View Post
Is this deliberately done? Just to see that expression? .
Initially no, now yes.

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Originally Posted by sbraj View Post
Kids will give some relief to that over burdened sofa. .
We too have started thinking about that now.


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Originally Posted by sbraj View Post
True. But coming to think of it, helping in household chores is also influenced to some extent by upbringing. I know a friend who thinks it is a shame for men to do kitchen work. His religious beliefs do not permit him to do that.
Again no religion says you are not supposed to helping hand to a fellow human being, especially when you love this fellow human being. Its all in the upbringing, there is a saying "guava dosent fall too far from the tree". So a person is always what kind of life he/she has been through.

Pramod

Last edited by pramodkumar : 5th March 2010 at 11:13.
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Old 5th March 2010, 11:47   #27
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AARRGHHHHH........... bblost dude?? Whats with you man? My wife reads the posts on TBHP.

I am doomed.

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Old 5th March 2010, 11:59   #28
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My wife reads the posts on TBHP.
Oh, that is dangerous. Now you cannot post on anything related to equality.
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Old 5th March 2010, 12:21   #29
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Oh, that is dangerous.
He He actually I can get my argument across much better now

We share the work in our house, there is more work in the house then mopping and cooking.

Bill payments - no I dont do it online, Car Maintenance, Bikes Maintenance, house maintenance, Gas booking and getting the cylinder, keeping all the cheques ready for various folks, etc is taken care by me.

I drive the family around for friend visits, out of station trips, etc.

My wife works too and we have a maid for mopping and washing utensils.

My MIL a widow stays with us and looks after our son - who is 2 years old.

MIL and wife both cook. I dont.

Equality is maintained quite well as per capabilities and experience.
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Old 5th March 2010, 12:35   #30
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Originally Posted by Spitfire View Post
My wife reads the posts on TBHP.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Spitfire View Post
He He actually I can get my argument across much better now
You think this is equality. But what does she say? Is she a TBHP member? Are we going to see a reply from her on the forum itself?
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