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Old 17th March 2010, 09:46   #16
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Taking a cue out of Smokers/Non-Smokers Zone, maybe there should be PDA/non-PDA zone at such places.

I find it a little amusing when people start bringing USA into the equation..as if everything that happens there is also OK anywhere else.

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A simple hug or a decent kiss is ok in public places. But not anything further.!!
Also such problem exists in public parking lots.
What is a decent kiss..a French type going the whole hog OR a simple peck..80's bollywood style;-?
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Old 17th March 2010, 09:52   #17
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Originally Posted by sanjayc View Post
I find it a little amusing when people start bringing USA into the equation..as if everything that happens there is also OK anywhere else.
Whats more amusing is that, in an 'open' country like their's, they have laws for indecency and well defined places where not to do it. So if you peruse, you will find that it is 'not' OK there even.

Coming back to the point, someone needs to define PDA (small peck to a roll etc etc.. ). Then we could have a quality discussion.
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Old 17th March 2010, 09:55   #18
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Originally Posted by Samurai View Post
PDA can't be explained very easily. Lack of private space is one reason.

@ samurai,
exactly my point.

In the society, there are lovers and they also need time, space and privacy.
The places like Mumbai, Thane, where is the space?
Naturally, these couples choose the public places like parks.
These type of things are cultural shocks to Indians.
One must ignore the shocks or get used to it up to certain level.
No point in cribbing.
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Old 17th March 2010, 09:57   #19
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Originally Posted by prince_pervez View Post
my experience alone is enough to support that private things should be kept private.
I tend to agree with you and also with Samurai, lack of private space is the prime reason for this. I myself have seen a lot of this in my life, However its not just to paint every one with the same brush. I remember when i told my parents that "they love each other" after pointing at a couple holding hands in pubilc, I must be 5-6, i clearly remember what my mom said, They may be brother and sister. and since that day i stopped judging couples. Parks are for everyone and trust me in places like mumbai, pune, Delhi, Bangalore there are many such parks which are known for such things, Avoid such parks if you cannot deal with these things. Its the work of the authorities to ensure immoral or vulgar things does not happen, not ours.

OT: I read an article where one guy put a case on a married couple for publicly kissing while the guy was seeing off his wife at the railway station, it was just a peck on the cheek. If one guy can go and file a case calling that is immoral and against indian values if the court can put a fine on the husband for hurting this spectator , We surly need to grow up, Who are we all fooling?

Pramod
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Old 17th March 2010, 09:58   #20
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Originally Posted by ASHISHPALLOD View Post
In the society, there are lovers and they also need time, space and privacy.
The places like Mumbai, Thane, where is the space?
Naturally, these couples choose the public places like parks.
These type of things are cultural shocks to Indians.
One must ignore the shocks or get used to it up to certain level.
No point in cribbing.
There's a park about 2 Kms from my home & the same things happen as what you've mentioned above; so the township has planted some cops to watch them
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Old 17th March 2010, 10:01   #21
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Originally Posted by pramodkumar View Post
I tend to agree with JK here, We have always considered "PDA" as taboo. Well i know there are certain limits but, our country has a rich cultural heritage, history is witness to such art of public display of affection. I would say the country with biggest population after china, talking about love making as taboo is hypocracy. There is a big difference in talking about love and doing it and doing it in open. No wonder we are the second biggest populated country in the world


Dear ghodlur, You are making me think what kind of expression you hold in front of your son when steaming scenes are telivised on TV channels. Look every human has a right to do what he/ she wants to do, and trust me moral policing is never the answer, having said so i did not mean you are policing them but this mere thought of complaining to authorities and telling people its a family place is not the right thing to do. Atleast with TV I have child control where i can decide what to watch and what not. What about things happening in open and in crude manner. Somebody in the post mentioned how I can decide what is vulgar? I mean if I see someone kissing as if there is not tommorrow and hands going in wrong places I would definitely as a protective father would not want my son to know whats going on. I too hold my wife's hand in public but does that give me the right to start showing my affections a little too much? I would not agree on that.

Kids get exposed to these things very early these days. I remember when i was in tenth standard our group talks during lunch periods started revolving around the fairer gender. There were some who used to tell us how this are and wnat needs to be done, while some used to exchange printed materials. These days this might start at 5th or may be even 4th standard. But never teach a kid all this is taboo. Its perfectly normal for kids to be little inquesitive, and parents have to be smart to handle such situations with care and ease so that the young minds questions are answered to his/her satisfaction. Well said, I agree kids these days are very inquisitive, want to learn things much more faster. But in this process some bad learnings are bound to reflect somewhere. Even I would want my kid to know things but in staged manner, not bombarding him with info at times when he is not mature enough to know its true meaning.

I still remember both girls and guys had a grin on our faces when the human reproductive system was taught in class seventh. Its time we grow up. I am married, and would proudly hold my wifes hands and walk in public, if there is a moment which demands a hug or may be a kiss, i would not wait to reach home and kill that perfect moment. At that time if a family is around and the kid is little inquesitive, its the fathers/mothers responsibility to tell the kids that they look happy and this is the way adults express their happiness and love to each other, if the kid asks more questions answer those, but also make sure he understand "kids" dont do it only "adults" in "love" do it. This is my openion about the issue, there might be a lot who do not agree with me, but i wrote what i feel is right. I would agree to your comments. Even I would not miss an oppurtunity to express my love to my wife but not in an undignified manner. Even if I had started to explain to my son whats happening around would he understood it. He would not and then one question would lead to another. All I did was walk away from that place and then tell my son that what the couples were doing in open was wrong.

Pramod
Mods Can you please change the PDA word in header to Public Display of Affection coz it is leading a lot of confusion as most people have misunderstood the word.
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Old 17th March 2010, 10:04   #22
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I was born in a small town in Kerala and was brought up in Ludhiana in middle class family. I used to consider myself pretty "progressive" till my job in a Malayalam TV channel took brought me to the Capital. A series of what can be best described as culture shocks made me understand what one of my most revered teacher had once told us in class. He was taking a lecture on SWOT analysis and one of the points of discussion was "Middle class mentality, Small town Morality"

I still believe that even though a sight as is being discussed makes many feel distinctly uncomfortable, we need to ponder upon the following points:

1. Legislations already exist but they do so in so many other areas of human existence, did those work?

2. Any legislation seeking to curb the most basic of human needs will only sweep it under the carpet. And that is where they are till we "stumble" across them.

3. Even if we were to ban such encounters from public places, what answer would you suggest I keep ready for my sons queries on what he gets to see on the idiot box day in and day out?

I admit it is pretty uncomfortable when we stumble across such sights but then where do they go?? Anyhow they had tried to make themselves as unobtrusive as they could. It was we who went out of our way and bumped into them. I am sure every city has enough places for people to walk around without the risk of being exposed to such moral indiscretions.

Let them have their fun....... For me a nation getting screwed while its leaders are garlanded with crores is far more repulsive.
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Old 17th March 2010, 10:05   #23
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I don't know what exactly happened at the lake OP saw so won't say on it. But PDA as perceived by the public depends on what the public thinks constitutes PDA. Couples kissing may not be even noticed in developed countries but in India, a mere 2-3 decades back, holding hands in public would bring active chastisements. Today we see couples holding hands everywhere i.e. only in cities and still not in semi-urban or rural areas. So long as it is not PDL (public display of lust), no reason to object to people trying to find a moment of privacy in a park simply because they can't find/afford it elsewhere.
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Old 17th March 2010, 10:08   #24
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Anyone interested in joining hands for building parks exclusively for couples ?
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Old 17th March 2010, 10:13   #25
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Quote:
Originally Posted by EssYouWe View Post
I wish the Indian society would mature and people give others the space required.

Although, my comments might be misplaced as I have no idea how far these people were going. In any case, unless it is overtly vulgar, I see no problem with couples displaying their affection. Whenever I encounter such events, I just ignore it like it should be ignored. However, some people go too far and gross everyone out!
I agree with you on this.
Sigh, India is one of the few counties in which you can pee/poop in public but cant kiss
In the US or UK its the other way around.
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Old 17th March 2010, 10:15   #26
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Anyone interested in joining hands for building parks exclusively for couples ?
NC,
best luck,
you are doing something on burning issue of India.:
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Old 17th March 2010, 10:22   #27
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Gautam that can come only from you. i am game lets build a park.
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Old 17th March 2010, 10:24   #28
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I wrote an Article in a magazine a few years ago about precisely this. Let me see if I can dig it up.
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Old 17th March 2010, 10:29   #29
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Originally Posted by Captain Slow View Post
I agree with you on this.
Sigh, India is one of the few counties in which you can pee/poop in public but cant kiss
In the US or UK its the other way around.
ROTFLMAO. +1 to that.

Authorities and our dear politicians should adress these problems first.
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Old 17th March 2010, 10:31   #30
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Quote:
Originally Posted by normally_crazy View Post
Anyone interested in joining hands for building parks exclusively for couples ?
Please clarify if holding hands would be considered PDA.
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