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Old 17th March 2010, 11:57   #46
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Depends on what the OP means by PDA. I feel holding hands or having an arm over the shoulders is pretty much OK. Anything beyond is not a good idea in our society, as it may invite unwanted attention and trouble from riff-raff /anti-social elements. The concerned couple should be prepared to deal with the situation. I would advise discretion on their part.

I had to face questions in this regard from my little one too. I just told him those people were immature and were trying out poses they see in film songs, and that was that!
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Old 17th March 2010, 11:59   #47
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Originally Posted by COUGAR View Post
who is to be the judge of what is "appropriate behaviour" here? on what kind of contact is acceptable and what is not.

if 2 people in love want to be affectionate then it is nobody's business. if someone is uncomfortable with seeing something like this, then they should turn away.


and what is wrong with nudity on a beach? next some people may think that a speedo is too "revealing" for a beach?
I was just trying to make a concession. If you ask me for my personal opinion, I'am for legalizing nudity as well. As long as something doesn't encroach someone else's rights, it cannot be criminalized.
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Old 17th March 2010, 12:05   #48
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Who decides the line which divides both?
The only plausible differentiating factor I can think of is 'nudity'.
Try to "make out" in public and see what the police will do!
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Old 17th March 2010, 12:11   #49
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Well this topic takes the attention easily and people love to go on dharna! but addressing the real issues there is none interested!
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Old 17th March 2010, 12:16   #50
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Try to "make out" in public and see what the police will do!
I can imagine. But of course, our police is the most ill-trained police in the entire world, and has the least amount of respect for individual rights among the cops in all the free countries.
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Old 17th March 2010, 12:21   #51
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well,this is a topic you can fight on/debate on and talk on for infinite hours with no solution.
i dont think there is anything wrong with PDA,if I am in such a situation I prefer walking away with a smile.Well i think people who stay oggling at these couples are to be asked about their acts.If a couple wants to have their moment let be it.Yes,if you are with kids such situations turn out to be awkward,but not so with elderly people(they have had their times).I remember going for a movie with my younger cousin and there was a couple having their "moment" at the back seat and my cousin was like "bhaiya,dekho.kya kar rahe hain bhaiya didi!!"
So i guess its vain to talk about such topics and let the couples have their time.

Last edited by mustang89 : 17th March 2010 at 12:23.
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Old 17th March 2010, 12:24   #52
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I find people peeing and spitting at public places more disturbing than those kissing in the public.
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Old 17th March 2010, 12:30   #53
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I think this requires self discipline and an understanding of your surroundings.

How many here would show PDA of the kind which one thinks is offensive to others around. What is offensive to whom is a major issue here as amongst the 1000+ individuals around you dont know who has what level of sanity.

I have been through this. It was all good when we were in Goa, but once in Bangalore things had to be changed.

PDA was shown in discos, clubs or parties. Heck they closed down that too, but by then I was married

I would not kiss a girl on MG road or any gardens in Bangalore. Too many anti-social, good for nothing elements found here.

One joke to lighten up the mood.

One guy goes to a park with his newly married wife and well we have some PDA.

Another lady comes up to them and says to the wife:

"Sun, isse paisa pehle le lena. Ye bad me bahot mach mach karta hai."

Translated: Get the money first or later he bargains a lot.
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Old 17th March 2010, 12:33   #54
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Quote:
Originally Posted by e1t1bet View Post
I can imagine. But of course, our police is the most ill-trained police in the entire world, and has the least amount of respect for individual rights among the cops in all the free countries.
My friend, making out in public is not just a matter of individual right! For one thing, it will infringe upon decency in public places. At the very least it may cause a traffic commotion! As we all know, relieving oneself in public is most disgusting, but then it can hardly be classified as a sexual act, unless the joker deliberately flaunts before females, in which case he will be bashed up by the public anyway!

I am not going in to the morality part at all. I just want to say such display may cause unnecessary risk to the couple concerned. Haven't we heard of tourist spots where such couples are deliberately targeted by A.S.elements of the local area? And is not the female companion the one to bear the maximum brunt in such situations?

What is decency / taboo differs from society to society. We can't take a template from one place and try to affix it on another.
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Old 17th March 2010, 12:37   #55
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I see nothing wrong as long as the local decency norms are not exceeded.
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Old 17th March 2010, 12:39   #56
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Agreed that its a bit weird, i.e. PDA is weird. But what harm are they doing to you ? We have no right to oppose anybody. We have politicians and relatives of politicians who involve in public display of power. How many times have we raised an issue ? If you see a car with red strip on number plate behaving badly, how many times you have complained to police about bad indiscipline driving. I have seen that those who are influential, their kids's are taken special care during board exams. That is again public display of power, but can we do anything.

The example is to say that there are bigger issues in India that need our attention, rather that just PDA. As long as they are not violent or harming you or your property, its OK.

What the young couples are doing is upto them. They are not doing any kind of violence or they are not doing anything immoral. So issues here unless there is some law against this.
I think that in India, atleast on paper, we have freedom of speech and expression.
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Old 17th March 2010, 12:44   #57
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Most Indian public environment may not be safe for a woman to indulge in PDA. There are serious implications for her safety.

Mind you we are a country where many men consider a woman "easy" if she wears an attire that reveals her body. PDA also falls into the same category where a woman may cause herself to be misunderstood by onlookers. Think about it. You and your wife/gf are alone in a park and are busy. What are the chances that some guys may not read this as she's okay getting physical in public so maybe its ok for us to have a go too?

Its dangerous in India if you ask me. The place, context really dictate whether its ok. Overall I would advise against it because we remain a society with too many standards. There are no common denominators. Some people are talking about a society where sexual acts are graphically displayed on temple walls. They forget this same society also has a large population where a woman uncovering her head is considered taboo.

So you are basically taking a lot of chances. Its not about what's right or what's wrong. That's too relative.

Its downright unsafe to have too carefree an attitude. There are far too many cases where foreign women travelling alone in India have been raped because obviously some guy somewhere misconstrued that she was giving the come on. And we all know those guys goofed up royally.

We still remain a conservative society and still too far away from allowing a very liberal tone to public behaviour. Have you guys forgotten that not too long ago in Bombay some girls were molested post New Year bash as they walked down a street late night?

How about doing away with gender based toilets in public and legalising prostitution? Ready for it? Forget India even many western nations aren't up to it !!

Last edited by DKG : 17th March 2010 at 13:01.
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Old 17th March 2010, 13:02   #58
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I think you'd be better off telling your kids, rather than they getting to know about it from their equally ill informed friends.
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Old 17th March 2010, 13:04   #59
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Spitfire View Post
PDA was shown in discos, clubs or parties. Heck they closed down that too, but by then I was married
Loved this quip!

But on a more serious note, I once helped a couple in distress on the road in Bangalore. It was in the evening around 5 pm and we were stuck in a traffic jam en route to the new airport (near Windsor Manor bridge) In front of my car a couple shared a rather passionate kiss (silhouette was visible from the rear window) in a Ford Fiesta, their windows were tinted a light grey and rolled up, however two goons on the left side who saw this started banging the LHS passenger window objecting to their brief moment of intimacy.

Since there was a traffic jam, they could not drive away either. Noticing their predicament and with the situation getting far worse, some auto drivers also got out and started threatening the couple, I got out of the car along with my friend and went to diffuse the situation. The couple did the right thing by not lowering the windows, but the hooligans claimed that the lady wielded a gun at them (which was a can on pepper spray) and so they were planning on teaching them what not to do in a public place.

After talking to the 3-4 hooligans, we managed to diffuse the situation and i knocked at the driver's window, he rolled it down and thanked me and my friend for helping them out as they were from Delhi and didn't know the language. I politely told them to drive off once the jam cleared which they did.

IMHO, this couple (I don't know if they were engaged/married) didn't do anything wrong by sharing an intimate moment. However, having said that, those hooligans had no right to meta-morph in the moral police at their own whim. At the end of it all, I was glad that this didn't turn out far worse.
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Old 17th March 2010, 13:20   #60
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Originally Posted by Gansan View Post
My friend, making out in public is not just a matter of individual right!
As long as there is mutual consent between the couple, it IS.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Gansan View Post
For one thing, it will infringe upon decency in public places.
And who defines what is decent? There is absolutely no scientific/sociological evidence which proves that PDA is harmful to society. We are a liberal democracy, and not governed by Taliban.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Gansan View Post
At the very least it may cause a traffic commotion!
This is just absurd. If one gets disturbed by a couple making out on the road side, he shouldn't be driving.
By your logic, we should ban beautiful women as well.

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Originally Posted by Gansan View Post
As we all know, relieving oneself in public is most disgusting, but then it can hardly be classified as a sexual act,
And what makes an excretory act more acceptable than a sexual act? If anything, defecating in the open has an adverse effect on sanitation.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Gansan View Post
unless the joker deliberately flaunts before females, in which case he will be bashed up by the public anyway!
Once again, the what gives the public the right to bash up anyone?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Gansan View Post
I am not going in to the morality part at all. I just want to say such display may cause unnecessary risk to the couple concerned.
Then it is the prerogative of the government to have enough cops and provide security to people. This argument is the same as "Provocatively dressed women attract rapists. Hence women should only wear burqas"

Quote:
Originally Posted by Gansan View Post
Haven't we heard of tourist spots where such couples are deliberately targeted by A.S.elements of the local area?
Yes, Anti-social elements. The government should protect regular citizens against these lunatics.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Gansan View Post
And is not the female companion the one to bear the maximum brunt in such situations?
Yes, and the woman is aware of that. The answer to this is the same as above. The government SHOULD provide adequate security to all citizens, women included.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Gansan View Post
What is decency / taboo differs from society to society. We can't take a template from one place and try to affix it on another.

(1) Social/cultural norms cannot override fundamental rights.
(2) Who decides what is culturally accepted. Culturally, We also wrote the Kamasutra, and built Khajuraho.


P.S. I have never indulged in PDA, but that is my personal choice. However, I would always fight to protect someone else's right to.
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