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Old 17th March 2010, 08:13   #1
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Angry Is it proper for couples to show Public Display of Affection(PDA) in common places

Yesterday on accountof Gudi Padwa I visited the Upvan lake in Thane where there is a Ganesh temple. This temple is situated right on the banks of the Upvan lake. After taking darshan, I my wife & son decided to take a walk across the stretch of the lake. To my horror I found many couples indulging in all sorts of indecent acts. These couples including the married ones (I suppose) were sitting on the continuous bench built around the lake and publicly displaying their affection which should be have behind closed doors. My son kept asking me why are the couples sitting there and I was unable to explain to him. All I could do so was give a sheepish grin. I could see even some senior citizens who take their evening walks were also visibly irritated by the Public Display of Affection shown by some couples. Some families were also making a hasty retreat along with their grown up kids in order to avoid any embarassing questions. Is it proper for couples to unblatantly express their feeling in public place. Afterall the place is meant for families too.
The Upvan lake is a prominient landmark in Thane which is being defiled by such acts. Above all the Mayor's Bungalow is situated right next to the lake. I could hardly find any constables whom I could complain. Had to leave the area with a frowned face.
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Old 17th March 2010, 08:16   #2
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No, it is not. You have the right to complain.
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Old 17th March 2010, 08:51   #3
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I was wondering what's wrong with people showing off PDA till I read the post

Maybe you should complain, maybe we should get used to it; what if you are in US of A or other developed countries? People should keep things to certain limit though.
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Old 17th March 2010, 09:03   #4
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Originally Posted by ghodlur View Post
Yesterday on accountof Gudi Padwa I visited the Upvan lake in Thane where there is a Ganesh temple. This temple is situated right on the banks of the Upvan lake. After taking darshan, I my wife & son decided to take a walk across the stretch of the lake. To my horror I found many couples indulging in all sorts of indecent acts. These couples including the married ones (I suppose) were sitting on the continuous bench built around the lake and publicly displaying their affection which should be have behind closed doors. My son kept asking me why are the couples sitting there and I was unable to explain to him. All I could do so was give a sheepish grin.
This is an issue on which one can discuss and argue for hours and not reach an agreement, because individual acceptance levels, levels of tolerance in these matters vary so much in our country.

But one thing I can say is, please do not treat those questions by your son as "embarrassing" - learn to deal with those, and NOT avoid with "a sheepish grin", as you put it. This is part of life, there is nothing embarrassing about it, and children must be educated about it by the parents before they start picking up (often inaccurate) information from other sources. It is not easy, but as parents one must try to do it. Thanks to the internet, I am sure you can find sites that can advice you on how to go about it.

Last edited by akp : 17th March 2010 at 09:04.
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Old 17th March 2010, 09:05   #5
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People should keep things to certain limit though.
Limit is the key word.
To each, his own
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Old 17th March 2010, 09:15   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jkdas View Post
I was wondering what's wrong with people showing off PDA till I read the post

Maybe you should complain, maybe we should get used to it; what if you are in US of A or other developed countries? People should keep things to certain limit though.

I tend to agree with JK here, We have always considered "PDA" as taboo. Well i know there are certain limits but, our country has a rich cultural heritage, history is witness to such art of public display of affection. I would say the country with biggest population after china, talking about love making as taboo is hypocracy.


Dear ghodlur, You are making me think what kind of expression you hold in front of your son when steaming scenes are telivised on TV channels. Look every human has a right to do what he/ she wants to do, and trust me moral policing is never the answer, having said so i did not mean you are policing them but this mere thought of complaining to authorities and telling people its a family place is not the right thing to do.

Kids get exposed to these things very early these days. I remember when i was in tenth standard our group talks during lunch periods started revolving around the fairer gender. There were some who used to tell us how this are and wnat needs to be done, while some used to exchange printed materials. These days this might start at 5th or may be even 4th standard. But never teach a kid all this is taboo. Its perfectly normal for kids to be little inquesitive, and parents have to be smart to handle such situations with care and ease so that the young minds questions are answered to his/her satisfaction.

I still remember both girls and guys had a grin on our faces when the human reproductive system was taught in class seventh. Its time we grow up. I am married, and would proudly hold my wifes hands and walk in public, if there is a moment which demands a hug or may be a kiss, i would not wait to reach home and kill that perfect moment. At that time if a family is around and the kid is little inquesitive, its the fathers/mothers responsibility to tell the kids that they look happy and this is the way adults express their happiness and love to each other, if the kid asks more questions answer those, but also make sure he understand "kids" dont do it only "adults" in "love" do it. This is my openion about the issue, there might be a lot who do not agree with me, but i wrote what i feel is right.

Pramod
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Old 17th March 2010, 09:20   #7
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Initially I thought , it is personal digital assistant (PDA) But I dont know about thane in Delhi there are many gardens like Garden of Five senses , Buddha Garden , Japanese Part , Delhi University Ridge area etc etc... couples any time of the year and some of them doing very shamful activities..

n best time of day to visit them is afternoon

My two cents to it will be " Please Dont Show PDA or if required govt. should make some official spots where families are not allowed..." Or time slots..

Last edited by bblost : 17th March 2010 at 10:08. Reason: Smileys are restricted to 2 per post. Thanks.
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Old 17th March 2010, 09:21   #8
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Originally Posted by akp View Post
learn to deal with those, and NOT avoid with "a sheepish grin", as you put it.
Very very true; these things are inevitable; What about televisions & the advertisements that we see everyday? Having a 2 year old son, I would agree to the fact that I've to learn on how to explain this to my son when he's going to ask these questions.

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I was wondering what's wrong with people showing off PDA till I read the post
Me too

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maybe we should get used to it; what if you are in US of A or other developed countries?
Instead of fighting the system, we need to yield to it because as Bullfrog says, each one has got their own limit.
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Old 17th March 2010, 09:21   #9
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I wish the Indian society would mature and people give others the space required.

Although, my comments might be misplaced as I have no idea how far these people were going. In any case, unless it is overtly vulgar, I see no problem with couples displaying their affection. Whenever I encounter such events, I just ignore it like it should be ignored. However, some people go too far and gross everyone out!

Last edited by EssYouWe : 17th March 2010 at 09:22.
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Old 17th March 2010, 09:23   #10
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PDA is something else. This, what is typed by the thread stater is plain vulgar. If you are caught in the US doing vulgar stuff near churches and schools, it is considered to be a fellony.
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Old 17th March 2010, 09:28   #11
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Originally Posted by prince_pervez View Post
PDA is something else. This, what is typed by the thread stater is plain vulgar. If you are caught in the US doing vulgar stuff near churches and schools, it is considered to be a fellony.

Do you know what exactly happened? How can you term this vulgar, The OP has not mentioned what happened. I might be that people are just sitting close to each other holding hands, May be one is lying in others lap, May be kissing. Who knows, Why to judge if we know only half of the information.

Pramod
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Old 17th March 2010, 09:29   #12
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A simple hug or a decent kiss is ok in public places. But not anything further.!!
Also such problem exists in public parking lots.
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Old 17th March 2010, 09:35   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ghodlur View Post
To my horror I found many couples indulging in all sorts of indecent acts.
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Originally Posted by pramodkumar View Post
Do you know what exactly happened? How can you term this vulgar, The OP has not mentioned what happened.
Check the top most quote. If things were any milder, we wouldn't have seen this thread either.
Quote:
I might be that people are just sitting close to each other holding hands, May be one is lying in others lap, May be kissing. Who knows, Why to judge if we know only half of the information.
Let me add, I was frequent visitor to Upvan lake to enjoy the limited natural beauty, of whatever is left in the concrete jungle of Thane.

I stopped for the very same reason. So even if the thread starter did not see anything vulgar, my experience alone is enough to support that private things should be kept private.

Last edited by prince_pervez : 17th March 2010 at 09:38.
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Old 17th March 2010, 09:37   #14
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Damn! I came to the thread to add my complaints about people showing off their iPhones in public. This is something else.

All our ancient temples have sex-acts carved all over them. How did it become taboo in modern times?

PDA can't be explained very easily. Lack of private space is one reason.

Last edited by Samurai : 17th March 2010 at 09:39.
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Old 17th March 2010, 09:43   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jkdas View Post
I was wondering what's wrong with people showing off PDA till I read the post .
Quote:
Originally Posted by akaushik View Post
Initially I thought , it is personal digital assistant (PDA)
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Originally Posted by Samurai View Post
Damn! I came to the thread to add my complaints about people showing off their iPhones in public. This is something else.
Same here.

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Originally Posted by Samurai View Post
All our ancient temples have sex-acts carved all over them. How did it become taboo in modern times?
PDA can't be explained very easily. Lack of private space is one reason.
Well outside the temple is not the ideal place. We may not find anything wrong, but some of the older people may.
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