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Old 22nd September 2010, 06:24   #16
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Boarding for Children at some stage in their lives is a good thing. Teaches self reliance, discipline, tolerance towards others, independence and how to look after one's self without expecting other people to pick up after one. Added to this, first class all round development including sports, studies, music, art etc is necessary, else the child will turn out very one-sided in his/her development.

Ive been a boarder all my life - from age 3 onwards. I dont regret a minute of it. Made the best friends I can ever hope to have. Enjoyed and appreciated my holidays twice a year with my parents, pets and so on.

I think it is a very good thing indeed - especially given the way many kids seem to behave these days and the way that parents these days are so busy earning a living and out of guilt, tend to otherwise spoil or be extra tolerant to their childrens bad behaviour in public etc.

Yes it is nice for the children to be with the parents in the younger formative years but after they reach 12-13 (early teens) they should get exposure to Boarding. Helps put things in perspective, teach them there are other, different people in the world, tolerance and so on.
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Old 22nd September 2010, 06:25   #17
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I personally have studied in boarding schools for most of my life and then have lived in different cities and countries for my further education . From personal experience I can tell you there is a vast difference between a kid from boarding and one from day schools.
I had temporarily shifted from boarding to day school for two years to dps and quite frankly I could see and feel the change.A kid from boarding school is more independent,knows more about outside world,has more confidence and manages to do most of the stuff himself.
When you are in day school your parents are on you 24/7 bout studying,eating and other things which when you are boarding are sort of your own choices.
In the future sooner or later you need to move away from home and to a differnt world and this is where a person from boarding truely shows his/her talent.
As for missing parents,to be truthful,it was just the first few days and after that you become so engrossed with your school life that you forget everything and basically are having fun.
What people say about the kid being a different person altogether once he/she goes to boarding is just what they feel,but in real life thats not the case.They still love and respect their parents,more in not less.As for kids not listening to their parents and maybe taking the wrong path,such as smoking and all,well if someone has to do it ,they would .Their are more chances of kids starting smoking early in day schools as compared to boarding.
Now there is a catch to it ,it all depends upon which boarding school do you send your kids to,I have been in a bad school(boarding school in mussoorie) and a really nice one which I would say shaped my life and i loved every minute of my life there(reputed school in dehradoon).
But yes anyday I would recommend boarding over day school.Unless the day school is somewhat like Modern ,Delhi or one of the new international schools like Gd Govinka .
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Old 22nd September 2010, 07:14   #18
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Default My Experience with Residential Schools

As some of the members members mentioned here, there are definitely some benefits of being in a boarding school. From Class 6 till my graduation in masters, I have been in the boarding / hostels of residential school, engineering college and B-School for a total period of 13 years.

I was sent to a boarding school when I was in Class 6, the reason being non-availability of good schools in and around my native town (near the southern tip of India). So the option for my parents was to either send me to a school (in hostel) in the district headquarters or stretch their budget (a lot, which I came to know latter) and put me in a proper residential school. I know how much sacrifice was made by my parents for my education.
1. As some members mentioned, the boarding schools make you all round personality. This is my opinion.
2. In a residential school, you tend to mingle with students coming from diverse cultural background. I feel that this makes you more sensitive to other culture and religion than being taught at home.
3. In my opinion the kid becomes more responsible in a school in its formative years and this continues till we breathe our last. I have seen this in my life.
4. Since we are being asked to follow a schedule, the life becomes systematic. I know this is very hard, but as time goes you get adjusted to it and from my experience you start liking it.
5. As few mentioned here, its really tough on the parents to keep their darling kids away from them, but I believe everything has a purpose. Most of the parents are emotionally and financially setback when they leave their wards in a residential school, but in my experience the benefits are being reaped at a latter stage.

When I look back, I dont think either myself or my parents repent their decision
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Old 22nd September 2010, 08:29   #19
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I would like to touch base on few points from the above...

Quote:
Originally Posted by maddy42 View Post
I feel it does develop some sort of independence and also sober you down ALOT.
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Originally Posted by maddy42 View Post
You learn to deal with events in your life yourself and dont expect kids to come and be frank always as they can deal it themself.
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Originally Posted by maddy42 View Post
I am very organized in my house and i feel that is because of my boarding school experience. I love to keep my room clean and not lazy around.
Quote:
Originally Posted by shankar.balan View Post
Teaches self reliance, discipline, tolerance towards others, independence and how to look after one's self without expecting other people to pick up after one.
Quote:
Originally Posted by shankar.balan View Post
but after they reach 12-13 (early teens) they should get exposure to Boarding. Helps put things in perspective, teach them there are other, different people in the world, tolerance and so on.
Quote:
Originally Posted by girishchandra View Post
In the future sooner or later you need to move away from home and to a differnt world and this is where a person from boarding truely shows his/her talent.
Quote:
Originally Posted by vasanthjn View Post
1. As some members mentioned, the boarding schools make you all round personality. This is my opinion.
Quote:
Originally Posted by vasanthjn View Post
2. In a residential school, you tend to mingle with students coming from diverse cultural background. I feel that this makes you more sensitive to other culture and religion than being taught at home.
Quote:
Originally Posted by vasanthjn View Post
3. In my opinion the kid becomes more responsible in a school in its formative years and this continues till we breathe our last. I have seen this in my life.
Quote:
Originally Posted by vasanthjn View Post
4. Since we are being asked to follow a schedule, the life becomes systematic. I know this is very hard, but as time goes you get adjusted to it and from my experience you start liking it.
For all the above points, are all these things taught only at resedential schools?

As a parent, I wouldn't stretch myself financially, why do that? Instead I would send them to the best school that our locality but spend lot of time with them. About 10-13 years ago, I understand there wasn't internet & obtaining knowledge was difficult. Agreed; but what about now?

From my experience, children lookup their parents for role model upto 7 years, then they look up their teacher upto 14, after which they look upon their friends & people who impress them. So like one of our friend said, 6th grade was when he was put to boarding, which MIGHT sound ok, but then, again, is the missing life of siblings justified?

There's a saying that goes, "Treat your kid like a darling for the first five years. For the next five years, scold them. By the time they turn sixteen, treat them like a friend. Your grown up children are your best friends". If this is followed, I'm sure there's no need for residential schools, especially these days.

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Originally Posted by shankar.balan View Post
Added to this, first class all round development including sports, studies, music, art etc is necessary, else the child will turn out very one-sided in his/her development.
Agreed; but my question would be, is it so difficult that parents cannot provide it?

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Originally Posted by shankar.balan View Post
Made the best friends I can ever hope to have. Enjoyed and appreciated my holidays twice a year with my parents, pets and so on.
Shankar, one question, spending all your life with friends & twice with your parents - is that justified for you? As a parent, I like to see my Son & Daughter grow in front of me rather than else where. Are you married? Would you like to spend only a month in the entire year with your siblings?

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Originally Posted by shankar.balan View Post
I think it is a very good thing indeed - especially given the way many kids seem to behave these days and the way that parents these days are so busy earning a living and out of guilt, tend to otherwise spoil or be extra tolerant to their childrens bad behaviour in public etc.
Strongly agreed & well said

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Originally Posted by girishchandra View Post
When you are in day school your parents are on you 24/7 bout studying,eating and other things which when you are boarding are sort of your own choices.
I thought it would be the other way!!!

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Originally Posted by girishchandra View Post
Their are more chances of kids starting smoking early in day schools as compared to boarding.
Well, if it were done in boarding no one knows & the teacher would eventually call the parents, if it were home, parents would know it early. So in both the cases, its the parents who need to eventually deal.

Quote:
Originally Posted by vasanthjn View Post
Most of the parents are emotionally and financially setback when they leave their wards in a residential school, but in my experience the benefits are being reaped at a latter stage.
Not most!!! every parents are


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Originally Posted by maddy42 View Post
In the end everything can be great but 1 rotten apple in school can spoil alot of kids. Seen it happen.
Excellent point
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Old 22nd September 2010, 09:20   #20
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Originally Posted by ikoneer View Post
The children would be deprived of the paternal love and affection and i don't think the bondage could be maintained. As a parent you wouldn't change, but dont' expect the child to be the same way who is away from you since childhood.

There are so many in the world who are do not have the gift of child. When God has given us the gift, why should we be thinking of keeping them away. When they grow up, they are bound to be on their own and far away, so enjoy the little time provided.
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Boarding schools shouldn't be seen as an option to outsource parenting. If love is lost, then your kid would be extremely disciplined and successful, but wouldn't reciprocate the love when you need it at the twilight of your life.
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Originally Posted by StarVegabond View Post

1. our kids have born in this world only because we wanted them. if we can not give them time, love, affection, guidance,involvement, care then we should not have brought them into this world.

2. As parents, if we can not discipline our child, no one else can do a better job.

As very rightly said by others, I donot agree of sending kids to a boarding school at a very early age whatever your compusions are. Boarding /Hostel yes can teach the kid to live independently but not at an tender age.

I know of a 6 year old kid who has been sent to a boarding school as his mother works in night shifts and sleeps whole day & the father lives elsewhere.You can see the pain in this child eyes when he has to leave for the boarding school after his vacation. He feels he is unwanted & no one loves him.
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Old 22nd September 2010, 09:26   #21
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aargee - hi

my folks and many of their friends/ colleagues had no choice but to send us off to boarding. there were no schools where we lived so all of us little chaps in the 1970's had to go away from home to study.

many of us kids from there were sent off to the same hill/ boarding/residential school and we have remained friends all these years and Im proud to be a part of that huge old school network which spans several generations and spreads across the whole wide world. and of course we made a number of excellent friends there too. playing sports together. getting into scrapes. etc etc.

even today all it takes is just a phone call and we can start off exactly where we left off last time - regardless of how many years have elapsed between the last time we spoke and now.
college was the same- had to go away and study. then work is a repeat performance - have to go away and earn a living. am glad overall for this.
yes everyone misses their parents and so on but now, i am happy that they spend a lot of time with me and my wife and my pets every year.
No regrets from my side!
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Old 22nd September 2010, 09:33   #22
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Boarding schools are good to make machines out of children. If parents have no time to look after them and want their kids to be ready to face the world when they come out of school, then it is a good option. Boarding schools rarely create artists or help to nurture in-born talent. What they will do is to create "rounded personalities", with no sharp edges. They will have to compete with similar people all over rest of their life. Its more like jack of all trades and master of none.

I would prefer kids to grow naturally. He may have some weaknesses, but in most cases the in-born talent helps him to survive in a competitive world using his distinctive skills. Parents want their kids to be more human-like and be able to take decision according to their own mind and interest, and develop skills and talents based on their capability, they should live with the family and among common people and learn the basic social skills.

Discipline is a widely abused word. For a military man discipline means entirely different from what a commoner thinks about it. From my perspective, it would be good enough the kids learn good manners and etiquette. I have observed that most of the so called "in-disciplined kids" would grow to become perfectly normal human beings. So I wouldn't take these mannerisms very seriously.

Last edited by vasoo : 22nd September 2010 at 09:40.
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Old 30th July 2015, 16:25   #23
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Default Re: Boarding / Residential Schools - are they better equipped to develop a child?

Cross Posting :

http://www.team-bhp.com/forum/shifti...ml#post3766217 (The "School Admissions" Thread)

Mods: Can you kindly merge the threads please !
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Old 30th July 2015, 18:02   #24
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Default Re: Boarding / Residential Schools - are they better equipped to develop a child?

Personally, a lot of this depends on two aspects:
- Your child
- Your relationship with him.

Boarding schools typically have a lot of ragging that can take away confidence and what not from a child at such a young age, in addition to being exposed to drugs and alcohol at a young age. That's where the child's personality, and your relationship comes into play.

For all the pro's, it makes a lot of sense to send your child there provided he/she trusts you enough to confide in you; and they are not the type of kids who will be ragged (for lack of a better word).

Some of my friends and relatives have gone to boarding school, and honestly they really did change a lot!
These schools instil a lot of discipline, which at their age does a world of good. My niece, for example, started to talk more, is more responsible, and a whole lot more disciplined and grounded than she was in Mumbai. In fact, it made her a little bit of a fighter also (never give up spirit - not the WWE kind)!

Her relationship with her parents hasn't changed a bit, primarily because they shared a very open bond where they respected her choices and thoughts - be it about having a boyfriend, or what not.
If the relationship is a little strained at the moment, or there is that fear factor when it comes to discussing some touchy topics such as getting ragged - it may get more pronounced during these years away from home.

Secondly, a lot depends on the child. Is he/she an outgoing, easy to get along with person? That will help if they can make good friends in school easily, and are not the odd one out.

I never went to boarding school until college. And trust me, it did a world of good to me at that stage. In Mumbai, I was always the quiet kid, rarely did his class work, etc. - but it all changed in college once I realised I was on my own and had to do my work responsibly if I wanted to graduate.
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