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Old 6th February 2011, 13:37   #16
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Default Re: How does one heal the soul?

Go out don't isolate yourself. Do something challenging about whatever you are passionate about, if not alone then with your best friend(s). In the course of dealing with challenges you will forget your miseries for a while, soon you will learn to forget. Few months down the line when you look back you will understand that what you think is a sorrow now was the best thing to have happened to you.
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Old 6th February 2011, 13:52   #17
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Default Re: How does one heal the soul?

Hang out with friends. Get in touch with people from your childhood. Keep yourself busy and do not think this is the end of the world.

God throws challenges at you. Learn to face it . Fortune favors the brave.

PS: Could relate to every word you said. This is not the end of the world. There is always better things conquer in life.
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Old 6th February 2011, 15:13   #18
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Default Re: How does one heal the soul?

Start thanking God for all the 'good' in your life.
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Old 6th February 2011, 15:20   #19
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Default Re: How does one heal the soul?

i think i heard someone speak about chicken soup. very good for the soul
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Old 6th February 2011, 15:45   #20
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Default Re: How does one heal the soul?

I could relate similar things. My girl for over 3 years dumped me just because I was not in her city and she needed someone to be close to her. I had almost given up, but my friends and my near and dear ones consoled me. I started doing things of my interest like travelling. I joined hands with my friends to work for a NGO that supports HIV+ orphan kids. And trust me life has never been so unpredictable. I enjoy each moment with those kids and friends. I'm 20, go clubbing wid buddies, get high on weekends and love the bonfire evenings every fornight with my closest pals. And all these things have not made me a stronger person, but atleast they have shown me a new direction in life.

Don't feel low mate. Go out, see the world, sing a song, take a walk, be among the masses yet love the solitude. That undispensable person in your life will always bring chilled nauseatic feelings and its impossible to forget each moment spent with her, but time is the best healer of things. Trust me everythin's gonna be alright.
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Old 6th February 2011, 15:53   #21
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Default Re: How does one heal the soul?

What is your hobby?? Hmmm.. since your are on tbhp, I hope its automobiles. Go back to that and forget about the distraction in between. As somebody has mentioned, if you find it difficult get yourself out of the situation, visit a psychiatrist. It will be really helpful. And I dont want to sound rude, but you cannot clap with one hand. So there may be some fault on your part also that made the relationship sour. The best thing is to forget and move ahead.
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Old 6th February 2011, 16:19   #22
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Default Re: How does one heal the soul?

I'm sure a lot us can relate to what you say. Been there, done that. I can give a huge lecture - but I'd rather not. Instead, try to take this: You meet a lot of people who cross roads with you for a reason, in your case it was to pull you out of one low. The job is done, she is gone. Divert you attention - a new crush, a new car, a new job, a new something - anything that will keep you occupied. One you stop brooding over what you lost, you'd find that it is for the good. Who knows, you may even become friends again (and keep it with friendship then!). Cheer up!
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Old 6th February 2011, 17:14   #23
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Default Re: How does one heal the soul?

Quote:
Originally Posted by deky View Post
Exactly my thoughts, the only person that can help you is you yourself. You just have to find the will in you to look at the brighter side of the life, be positive and carry on.

Forgetting the past is easier said than done, but for a better future it has to be done.

Regards
+1. Well said Deky.

Just to add to all the other good advices, time will heal.

Please DO NOT let the sour relationship drag you further down bro. Take the positives and move on and try to become a real success story as this is not the end of the world.

Please DO NOT isolate yourself. I am still facing the consequences of that mistake which I did 9 years ago.

Telling this out of personal experience and the way I have done (took the positives, all the good learnings I had and added a simple thought "She did not deserve me") and went ahead and have made a decent success story out of myself.

Use the positives from the relationship to make a better person out of yourself. Use the negatives as a lesson learnt and not to repeat the mistake.

You can call me if you feel like talking

Last edited by arunkumars : 6th February 2011 at 17:16.
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Old 6th February 2011, 17:43   #24
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Default Re: How does one heal the soul?

Quote:
Originally Posted by arunkumars View Post
+1. Well said Deky.

Just to add to all the other good advices, time will heal.

Please DO NOT let the sour relationship drag you further down bro. Take the positives and move on and try to become a real success story as this is not the end of the world.

Please DO NOT isolate yourself. I am still facing the consequences of that mistake which I did 9 years ago.

Telling this out of personal experience and the way I have done (took the positives, all the good learnings I had and added a simple thought "She did not deserve me") and went ahead and have made a decent success story out of myself.

Use the positives from the relationship to make a better person out of yourself. Use the negatives as a lesson learnt and not to repeat the mistake.

You can call me if you feel like talking
+ to that, Take the positives out of this 'lesson' and make a better person out of yourself. Everything in life is a lesson. Some hard to get over, some easier than the harder ones. Like arunkumar said 'She did not deserve' a selfless non materialistic guy like you. Make yourself into a big man and be proud of yourself.

After some years you think about this, all you will have to say yourself is 'okay i am glad that din work'

Cheers
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Old 6th February 2011, 18:57   #25
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Default Re: How does one heal the soul?

Listen to some of your favorite artists and songs, eventually you would realize whatever happens is for the better..
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Old 6th February 2011, 19:13   #26
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Default Re: How does one heal the soul?

+1 to all the suggestions from fellow bhpians. I would recommend that you read up this thread regularly and try to keep us updated on what you have been upto. If one really thinks about it, the journey is more enjoyable than any destination. And one should not plan an entire journey at one go, but only make interconnected short term plans.
Look at today and see how it can be made interesting.
As someone rightly pointed out, just change your location to something like Solitude. it kinda says something similar, but will mean a lot better. It oculd be a good start, and whenever you are comfortable, you can attend one of the tbhp meets. you do not need to identify yourself if you arent comfortable, just go ahead and do it!
One thing which helped me was an ad on telly which had all kinds of people (WWE wrestlers/ dancers/ astronauts/ etc) exhorting a guy to come out and party. It kind of told me the world is out there waiting, you only need to open the door
take care buddy and feel free to PM if you need anything
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Old 6th February 2011, 19:21   #27
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Default Re: How does one heal the soul?

1) Sad to know about your loss 11 years back.

2) You have to help yourself. Nobody else can help you. Reading more about what you love most ( like cars or computers ) and doing practicals on them ( driving more, spending more time with computer ) wont help either as you are doing this to come out of something and that something will have all the focus. I have tried this and this has not worked.

3) Biggest mistake. First Health, then wealth and then all these love commitments. Practicality wins games so car and house will take a major role in future also. Understand and accept this. The reason why I am hell bent on reamaing single for 10-12-15 or so more years ( I am currently above 23 ). I am completely out of this marriage stuff as I dont see any good thing with it ( rather, earning more, spending on your dreams like e.g. cars is better IMO ).

4) Accepting first what has happened, learning from it and then moving on can be a bit beneficial.

5) The wound on the soul may recover, but the marks left behind will be a grim reminder of your story.
Completely forgetting somebody is not easy and memories will be there always. This is what I can tell you from my experience.

6) Broken dreams hurt the most. The proof of what I have faced and why its there in my signature here.

Move on man, spend more time and money on your passion ( which I assume is cars/bikes ).
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Old 6th February 2011, 20:19   #28
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Default Re: How does one heal the soul?

OK, this is a trick question.
So please don't get offended. Instead think about it deeply to understand what I am trying to say.

Quote:
Originally Posted by aaggoswami View Post
. I am completely out of this marriage stuff as I dont see any good thing with it ( rather, earning more, spending on your dreams like e.g. cars is better IMO ).
Your parents got married. You were born.
If you ask them what they feel about you, do they not consider it as good thing that they have you.

OR do you suffer from such low self esteem that you consider your existence as a bad thing for your parents.

Life is beautiful. But remember beauty is in the eyes of the beholder.
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Old 6th February 2011, 21:09   #29
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Default Re: How does one heal the soul?

Quote:
Originally Posted by bblost View Post
Your parents got married. You were born.
If you ask them what they feel about you, do they not consider it as good thing that they have you.

OR do you suffer from such low self esteem that you consider your existence as a bad thing for your parents.

Life is beautiful. But remember beauty is in the eyes of the beholder.
Actually, my parents do consider that I am good.

Its not matter of low self esteem, but after what I have faced, I have realized that love commitments and marriages are best left when one has good success.

OT :
You are a damn sure shot about one's personality.
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Old 6th February 2011, 21:46   #30
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Default Re: How does one heal the soul?

Sorry to hear about your disappointment and sadness.

You should seek out professional help. They work wonders. God bless you friend and get out of it and live the life.
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