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Old 5th June 2011, 07:40   #196
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Default Re: To have loved it and lost it.

Yatharth,

Just two things to bring some perspective -
a. I completely disagree with so many well meaning BHPians here who talk about not touching a bike. Everyone makes mistakes - everyone has moments of weakness. As long as you are cognizant of the bigger picture and what's between your ears is stable, please ride a bike for God's sakes.
Blaming the bike is irrational - Driving 140 kph while drunk even in a car on 99% of roads in India can get you killed if you have an accident with a bus. For instance, many a low slung car in such an accident would've ended up under the bus. Kuch bhi ho sakta tha/hai. DONT ditch the bike.
EDIT: Create a thread on xbhp - you will get lots of bike-love gyan there which this thread is sorely missing

b. Don't blame the gf. Again, I would depart from the majority but there are two things you must consider:
- Even if you went for a ride at 2am for a vodka for her - YOU chose to ride at the speeds you did. Had you been far more circumspect, this thread would not have been created. She/her friends may have been the genesis but the responsibility of the accident is squarely yours.
- That, coupled with the kinda irrational conditioning one may get from family/friends, can make the other person move away from you. The fact is that both you & her could've died in that accident courtesy your driving. And that consideration is enough for some people to have a knee-jerk reaction & move away. It may not be the right thing but the world is a gray place - kindly don't see it in black/white but accept it and move on.

Lastly, you organize a minor bribe from your accumulated unspent pocket money (or maaro senti on dadi/nanis) and give it to the judge - bad - but cheaper than buying a new bike, no? otherwise that will be more waste of your dad's money,no?

PS: are you in a wheel chair?

Last edited by phamilyman : 5th June 2011 at 07:42.
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Old 5th June 2011, 08:36   #197
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Default Re: Get Well Soon Yatharth(YC.BALENO.CHD) Update: Back in Action :)

YC, welcome back. The sense of hopelessness when Abhishek posted this thread originally was really shocking- glad it has a happy ending.

Yes- it IS a happy ending though you may not realise it now. Your bike is a wreck, your Dad is out 56K and your girlfriend dumped you. Boo hoo.

Think of what you gained. A valuable life lesson at such a young age. It fills me with joy that you have taken the full responsibility for whatever happened. Nowhere do I see "She made me do it!" or "It was bad luck- I have done this before and never had a problem" kind of statement.

You have done the hard part: owning up- and the rest:acceptance- is easy, and will only be good.

You did a stupid thing, you learned from it. As human beings, that's the best we can do. Trust me.

I will just make one request: your parents have been through a lot. I am a father myself and I can tell you there is no greater pain than to see your flesh and blood, the apple of your eye, lying hurt or sick in a hospital and you can't do a thing to help them. So please spend time talking to them, listening to them, being with them. It doesn't matter if you just discuss the weather or some other inconsequential mundane thing- share with them what is going on in your life and they will be happy.

Take care.

Last edited by noopster : 5th June 2011 at 08:38.
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Old 5th June 2011, 09:02   #198
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Default Re: To have loved it and lost it.

Quote:
Originally Posted by phamilyman View Post
Yatharth,

Just two things to bring some perspective -
a. I completely disagree with so many well meaning BHPians here who talk about not touching a bike. Everyone makes mistakes - everyone has moments of weakness. As long as you are cognizant of the bigger picture and what's between your ears is stable, please ride a bike for God's sakes.
Blaming the bike is irrational - Driving 140 kph while drunk even in a car on 99% of roads in India can get you killed if you have an accident with a bus. For instance, many a low slung car in such an accident would've ended up under the bus. Kuch bhi ho sakta tha/hai. DONT ditch the bike.
EDIT: Create a thread on xbhp - you will get lots of bike-love gyan there which this thread is sorely missing

b. Don't blame the gf. Again, I would depart from the majority but there are two things you must consider:
- Even if you went for a ride at 2am for a vodka for her - YOU chose to ride at the speeds you did. Had you been far more circumspect, this thread would not have been created. She/her friends may have been the genesis but the responsibility of the accident is squarely yours.
- That, coupled with the kinda irrational conditioning one may get from family/friends, can make the other person move away from you. The fact is that both you & her could've died in that accident courtesy your driving. And that consideration is enough for some people to have a knee-jerk reaction & move away. It may not be the right thing but the world is a gray place - kindly don't see it in black/white but accept it and move on.

Lastly, you organize a minor bribe from your accumulated unspent pocket money (or maaro senti on dadi/nanis) and give it to the judge - bad - but cheaper than buying a new bike, no? otherwise that will be more waste of your dad's money,no?

PS: are you in a wheel chair?


Apt. Just a thing or two though that I wasn't under influence of spirits as i till date i've never dreamt of drinkin n ridin/bikin and secondy yeah..i do not blame the bike, the bus or the girl n am sure that she too must had taken the step of leaving me after lots of thoughts and it was her choice that she did so, lastly once again I sat that it indeed was all my fault and yes thankfully no wheelchair anymore and yes, I really appreciate the concern and your point of view.


Regards.
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Old 6th June 2011, 02:43   #199
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Default Re: To have loved it and lost it.

Quote:
Originally Posted by YC.BALENO.CHD View Post
Sad. Hope your brother has recovered well and so has the swift. Whenever you may visit chandigarh next let us meet up as am always excited to meet bhpians.
Thanks man. Both my brother and swift were back in action in about a week .

Sure, will let you know whenever I plan to visit chandigarh.

Quote:
And maybe you indeed are correct as my dad too always have maintained that either one should avoid bikes if he can afford a car or use it for commutiong only
I still maintain the fact that if one can afford even an 800 on CNG, one should not use bike. Ofcourse, if you love to drive it, drive it with friends (atleast 2-3 bikes) once a week or something. Bike fever did hit me for a month when I was 16, even learnt to drive it. In about a month, I was driving a cousin's caliber and 3 guys on a scooter came in front of me, from a turn, I could have braked easily as I was not over 20kmph but I got frightened and jumped from the bike (this was in inner lanes of our society). Nothing happened to me but the gearbox of caliber was a different story. Since, that day I have always been afraid to ride on a bike, forget driving one. But I do have a crush for Kawasaki Ninja (in green).

And yes, all enthusiats would have done something silly with their rides at some point in time, some are fortunate to get away, some are not. So, nothing to be regretful about. Just take care in future.

Last edited by gaurav_chopra04 : 6th June 2011 at 03:11.
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Old 6th June 2011, 08:16   #200
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Welcome back bro!
Someone has rightly said that the mind is the most powerful part of our lives. It is very important to ensure that we are mentally and emotionally balanced. Life does it's best to throw us into either extreme. It is for us to keep in mind that as a pendulum we could oscillate to the other extreme.

I have had my fair share of accidents; well I have had a lot of other people's share too. However, these have ranged from a bike to a bathroom to a badminton court. And these are only the places with a 'b'!
The point I am trying to make is that accidents can happen anywhere if one is not alert enough to avoid/ prevent them altogether or at least minimize the impact; both physical & emotional.

Noopster has very succinctly mentioned the significance of a family/ friend support structure. Please try to communicate your emotions as well as you can. When I regained consciousness after a surgery, I felt so fresh and happy that I surprised myself. I guess I looked at it as an opportunity to have a different perspective on all issues. I support the opinion that it's better to forgive and move on. Somehow I have been unable to forgive others; perhaps it's just a petty arrogant streak ok behavior. When I do this, it does help me in avoiding a recurrence of the hurt, but then I keep the original wound alive. And believe me it takes a lot of me; I wish I could just forgive & move on. It's better to accept yourself as you are and most importantly let others know who/ where you are emotionally.

Also, if any relation has to end, IMHO it is better to happen when no children are involved. It offers both people the opportunity to focus on themselves, and it is only fair that it doesn't impact a third or fourth person. I am sorry if that sounds a bit basic, no offense meant to anyone.

I found that things started moving well for me once I stopped asking 'Why me?'
The warmth of a blanket is appreciated when it is cold. Similarly, true happiness is so much sweeter when you know what sorrow or sadness is. I am not saying one should enjoy the pain; just that when you will be happy, you may just look upon this phase as the foundation for you to learn more about those around you. This is when you understand the people to whom you matter.
Please ignore the sections where I may have digressed. Do keep us updated on how things go ahead, even if they are routine check ups or events that you didn't notice earlier. Feel free to PM anytime. Take care buddy
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Old 6th June 2011, 14:55   #201
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Default Re: Get Well Soon Yatharth(YC.BALENO.CHD) Update: Back in Action :)

Buddy,
So happy to have you back. Nice to know that the wheelchair is also gone for good.
I would just say that forget the incident like a bad dream and promise (if not for anyone else atleast for your parents as I am sure they would have suffered the most during your hospital time) that you would not do anything stupid.

As everyone said bike gayi to no problem. You would get a better one (Ninja 650 being launched in the recent future ). Regarding gf, I believe god has planned someone better for you.

Cheers to life!!
~f1fan
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Old 6th June 2011, 18:10   #202
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Default Re: Get Well Soon Yatharth(YC.BALENO.CHD) Update: Back in Action :)

Things will be a lot better if you stop engaging in self pity.
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Old 6th June 2011, 20:59   #203
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Default Re: Get Well Soon Yatharth(YC.BALENO.CHD) Update: Back in Action :)

Quote:
Originally Posted by cruiser@0523 View Post
Things will be a lot better if you stop engaging in self pity.

Hope thet things get better soon. I know it makes no sense,that is makin yourself sad about the past but things may take a tad more time till they get back to normal, been long since had a tension free moment. Anyway thanks for your comment Akshay, hoping to resuming little touring I used to do and hopefully, this time may have your company.

Regards.

Last edited by YC.BALENO.CHD : 6th June 2011 at 21:00.
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Old 4th July 2011, 21:20   #204
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Default Re: To have loved it and lost it.

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Originally Posted by YC.BALENO.CHD View Post
Apt. Just a thing or two though that I wasn't under influence of spirits as i till date i've never dreamt of drinkin n ridin/bikin and secondy yeah..i do not blame the bike, the bus or the girl n am sure that she too must had taken the step of leaving me after lots of thoughts and it was her choice that she did so, lastly once again I sat that it indeed was all my fault and yes thankfully no wheelchair anymore and yes, I really appreciate the concern and your point of view.
Regards.
Glad to know you are back in action. i am the last person I think who didn't knew about your ordeal. Sorry for that, i had my own share of glitch so was out of action for most of the time.

PS: As far as girl is concerned, good riddance.
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Old 12th July 2011, 23:32   #205
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Default Re: To have loved it and lost it.

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Glad to know you are back in action. i am the last person I think who didn't knew about your ordeal. Sorry for that, i had my own share of glitch so was out of action for most of the time.

PS: As far as girl is concerned, good riddance.

Haha, maybe true and need not be sorry for nothing. And I hope that those issues bugging you have been dealt with.

Regards
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Old 14th July 2011, 12:22   #206
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Default Re: Get Well Soon Yatharth(YC.BALENO.CHD) Update: Back in Action :)

Note from Mod : Great to know that YC.BALENO.CHD is back! This thread has served its purpose and hence, now closed.

Good to hear about your recovery. The temporary setback is behind you.

Wish you a great future..

Last edited by GTO : 16th July 2011 at 13:17. Reason: Adding thread closure note
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