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Old 22nd September 2015, 22:43   #331
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Default Re: Road rage confession

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Originally Posted by amitoj View Post
Lot of what ifs. Maybe the driver would have stopped to check on you had you actually fallen down. From his point, you were not physically hurt.
Sorry, don't agree one bit here.

You're saying its perfectly okay to sideswipe a biker, and as long as the biker doesn't get hurt, its perfectly fine to literally "hit and run"?

I don't agree one bit.

In Chennai in the first month itself, I had a couple of ORVM scrapes with bikers who would always assume that they can squeeze through any space, and who don't see such minor details as ORVMs. Every single time I stopped. opened window a little bit, and with genuinely apologetic face, said sorry. Even though my only fault was assuming that if I'm in the leftmost lane with less space than a biker would normally need and have given my indicator for the last 100+m and am honking, I can turn left. Not once did I move on like the i10 in question.
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Old 22nd September 2015, 23:34   #332
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Default Re: Road rage confession

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Originally Posted by phamilyman View Post
Sorry, don't agree one bit here.

You're saying its perfectly okay to sideswipe a biker, and as long as the biker doesn't get hurt, its perfectly fine to literally "hit and run"?

I don't agree one bit.
Wow what a jump to conclusion!

I was merely hypothesizing on behalf of the car driver. Given that our "victim" here was going into a lot of what-if scenarios, I thought of presenting him with another plausible what-if scenario from the prepetrator's point of view. It is called putting yourself in one's shoes.
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Old 23rd September 2015, 07:11   #333
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Default Re: Road rage confession

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Wow what a jump to conclusion!

I was merely hypothesizing on behalf of the car driver. Given that our "victim" here was going into a lot of what-if scenarios, I thought of presenting him with another plausible what-if scenario from the prepetrator's point of view. It is called putting yourself in one's shoes.
Sirjee, just your quote - not mine. Read it again as if someone else wrote it! Coming from you, i surmised thats not likely your intention but such were your words.

Its about first principles. For whatever reason you hit a vehicle - you stop and atleast check or at the bare minimum acknowledge your mistake. Your post ignored that.

Remember in this case our man had been giving enough indications of what he was doing - its not like he suddenly did a stoppie in traffic and came from 60-0 without warning. What happened was the i10's doing only.

Its perfectly fine to hypothesize but any scenario should assume courteous road use.


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PS: After spending so much time in north India, the first slangs that come to me are in hindi, not very useful in Kerala!
Hey GJ, trust me - those slang work even in Chennai - people may not understand them to the letter, but they get the message. While cycling I only had run-ins with autorickshaws. They almost never understood Hindi, but they got the "slangs". I think kerala should be better!

Last edited by phamilyman : 23rd September 2015 at 07:17.
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Old 23rd September 2015, 07:36   #334
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Default Re: Road rage confession

I don't like the idea of people advocating or supporting aggressive retaliation in response to someone else driving rashly on the road. That defeats the purpose of such a nice thread!

There are 2 reasons why aggression is almost never the right way -
1> First of all, your and your family's safety. You don't the other person. What is the other person is a stronger guy or someone who is even more aggressive or some local dada or politician? What if he retaliates in a much more dangerous manner?

2>The entire experience leaves a bad memory and increases your blood pressure and pretty much spoils the day for you. You won't be able to focus on work and other activities.Most of the times, the other person has a point of view as well which we fail to understand.So, trying to have a dialogue is always preferred.

I understand that in some extreme scenarios it's impossible to control your anger.

@GeneralJazz,
I don't support your behavior. Probably, it satisfied your ego and nothing else and you did this probably because you think you are a big guy and the other person can't win a fight with you but remember that there are bigger and stronger guys than you. In your situation, it's quite possible that the car driver might not have realized your issue. It's not that hard to think of. And you are fortunate that the car driver was not a hot head. What if he gets angry, follows you as you are riding and just bangs his car when you are riding on the bike. You will fall on the road and might die. What will you do then? Where's the end to it?

Last edited by adimicra : 23rd September 2015 at 07:45.
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Old 23rd September 2015, 07:48   #335
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Default Re: Road rage confession

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Originally Posted by phamilyman View Post
Its about first principles. For whatever reason you hit a vehicle - you stop and atleast check or at the bare minimum acknowledge your mistake.
That's what I did in my visit home (Kerala) a couple of months back. First time driving on Thrissur roads almost after a year, at a small junction close to my house an elderly person on a motorbike (with a saree-clad woman as pillion) cut across my car, and narrowly missed. I could see through my rear view mirror that the guy almost lost balance; the woman jumped off the bike but luckily did not fall. No road rage or rash driving from my side, but I stopped the car by the side (probably around 50m from the motorbike), walked back to check if they are ok. I could see the anger on the guy's face going off, and then in an apologetic tone said that it was his fault, and they are absolutely fine.

Two reasons for me to stop and check - (1) I was genuinely concerned about the couple, and (2) to show my 7 year old girl the importance of being considerate. Tomorrow I don't want her to think that her daddy almost knock down a bike and drove off
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Old 23rd September 2015, 08:39   #336
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@GeneralJazz,
I am a bit confused with the scenario. You are saying it is a narrow single lane undivided road. You are also saying that there was bumper to bumper traffic. Then you mention that some cars overtook you from the left, while this i10 overtook you from the right, in order to get ahead of the car that was overtaking you from the left.

Please help me understand this - how come there was enough room for two cars to pass you on either side in a narrow road with bumper to bumper traffic?
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Old 23rd September 2015, 09:21   #337
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Default Re: Road rage confession

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Originally Posted by adimicra View Post
I don't like the idea of people advocating or supporting aggressive retaliation in response to someone else driving rashly on the road. That defeats the purpose of such a nice thread!

There are 2 reasons why aggression is almost never the right way -
1> First of all, your and your family's safety. You don't the other person. What is the other person is a stronger guy or someone who is even more aggressive or some local dada or politician? What if he retaliates in a much more dangerous manner?
This is a very important point. You cannot judge who the other person is and anticipate his reaction.

Something similar happened to a group of friends of my friend. They were all standing around a parked bike and chatting by the road when a car wanted to take a U-turn and the bike was obstructing a smooth turn so he honked. The guys didn't budge so the guy in the car blared the horn for few seconds, which finally made the guy on the bike move it ahead and make way, but he threw some expletives and the usual "who the hell are you?" hand gesture. The car completed the turn, parked on the side, and the guy just walked towards the group. Barely one or two words exchanged and the guy just slapped the living daylights off the biker and pushed him to the ground by his collar. There was dead silence and he just walked away and drove off. The other guys didn't move a muscle. Later they came to know that he is a well-known goon in that area.


Nowadays the max I do is throw a cold stare at the other person and sometimes worse, a smirky smile. That confuses the hell out of people, I'm telling you.

Last edited by jayded : 23rd September 2015 at 09:24.
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Old 23rd September 2015, 10:02   #338
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Originally Posted by GeneralJazz View Post
Thats why the thread is titled Road rage confessions.
A confession means that one is accepting his mistake and is feeling guilty of whatever he/she has done.

The problem is you are not accepting your fault and no offence but I don't think you are even feeling guilty at your act.
Its just what I feel reading your posts.
You are just narrating an incidence and defending yourself and maybe indirectly saying this is how you teach others a lesson. Don't mess with me.


This is not the purpose of this thread. Its about owning up and promising to be a better person from now on. As somebody earlier mentioned, an eye for and eye will only leave the world blind.

Yes, the other guy was a moron and if you'll look the world is surrounded by such people. We deal with morons everyday.

General, you have to ask yourself, if you are caught in the very similar situation once again, what would be your reaction. Will you react in the similar angry way or in a more calmer and wiser way.

If it's the latter then the purpose of this thread is fulfilled.
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Old 23rd September 2015, 10:24   #339
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Default Re: Road rage confession

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Originally Posted by amitoj View Post
Your helmet took a hit. Lack of visible damage does not mean it is ok. It is a generally accepted wisdom to replace your helmet after a crash, even if it "looks" ok.
Yeah I'll have it checked out as soon as possible, time to replace it maybe.


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Lot of what ifs. Maybe the driver would have stopped to check on you had you actually fallen down. From his point, you were not physically hurt but mentally upset. Right now he would be thinking it was a good decision that he did not get out of the car otherwise you would have probably thrown the helmet at him instead of the car!! So, no my friend. You did not teach him any lesson, instead you just prevented another person from ever getting out to help anyone.
So by your logic, if I bump into another car with my car, I can just drive away because I know that they are Ok? If I hit some pedestrian, I can just look at him/her from my RVM and if he/she looks fine, I can just drive off. By this logic we can all walk through crowded stations/markets bumping into everybody, stepping on peoples feet because we know they will be physically ok, just mentally hurt. And you just made the assumption that I would have attacked him. I've clearly said that he did not stop after hitting me, and when I did catch up to him, he just kept honking at me to get out of the way. Before you make the assumption that he may have had some emergency, isn't it at least required to check on the person you just knocked down, instead of trying to get away and yelling at him?

All these add up to road manners, not just giving way or using your blinkers. These are what separate cultured from the uncultured.
Again before you make another assumption here, I regret what I did as I've said many times before. But that does not justify what the car driver did.

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Originally Posted by Sheel View Post

At a minimum, you should also replace your helmet when it turns five years old. Over time, aging helmet materials may degrade from body heat and use, and therefore may not provide the same level of protection as a new helmet would, even with proper helmet care. Additionally, helmet manufacturers are always researching technological improvements that may increase the protective qualities of their helmets- you don't want to miss out on these advances. [/i]
Yeah I'll be replacing it soon. I didnt know about the 5 year part. Thanks

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Originally Posted by phamilyman View Post
Sorry, don't agree one bit here.

You're saying its perfectly okay to sideswipe a biker, and as long as the biker doesn't get hurt, its perfectly fine to literally "hit and run"?
Exactly! No one is saying that the errant driver should get down on his knees and beg for forgiveness, bollywood style. A simple "Are you OK" goes a long way.

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Originally Posted by amitoj View Post
I was merely hypothesizing on behalf of the car driver. Given that our "victim" here was going into a lot of what-if scenarios, I thought of presenting him with another plausible what-if scenario from the prepetrator's point of view. It is called putting yourself in one's shoes.
Yes I am going into a lot of what ifs. This is what any logical driver should do. What if I overtake now? Will I make it? Will I smash into another car? Will I kill somebody or get killed? Driving as you like, without thinking is what leads to situations like this. "Victim"? If you just put someones life at risk, he becomes a "victim"?

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Originally Posted by adimicra View Post

I understand that in some extreme scenarios it's impossible to control your anger.

@GeneralJazz,
I don't support your behavior. Probably, it satisfied your ego and nothing else and you did this probably because you think you are a big guy and the other person can't win a fight with you but remember that there are bigger and stronger guys than you. In your situation, it's quite possible that the car driver might not have realized your issue. It's not that hard to think of. And you are fortunate that the car driver was not a hot head. What if he gets angry, follows you as you are riding and just bangs his car when you are riding on the bike. You will fall on the road and might die. What will you do then? Where's the end to it?
Again making assumptions. So if someone retaliates when you endanger their life, it's because of their ego? My size is inconsequential. To retaliate when someone just put you in dire risk is human nature.

I do agree that it could have turned out a lot worse. Thank god the matter ended there. But if it did come to police cases, his life was not in any risk while I could have been seriously injured or worse. And please dont make an assumption here that I might have pulled him out and stabbed him. What I did here was the worst I could have done.


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Originally Posted by PatchyBoy View Post
@GeneralJazz,
I am a bit confused with the scenario. You are saying it is a narrow single lane undivided road. You are also saying that there was bumper to bumper traffic. Then you mention that some cars overtook you from the left, while this i10 overtook you from the right, in order to get ahead of the car that was overtaking you from the left.

Please help me understand this - how come there was enough room for two cars to pass you on either side in a narrow road with bumper to bumper traffic?
As I said, it wasn't exactly bumper to bumper, but extremely congested, btb in many places. But even in such traffic, you can always find gaps to cross. A lorry slow to start, a car taking a turn, a stalled auto, anything can create a space in front, where a vehicle from an oncoming lane can cross.


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Originally Posted by Sherlocked View Post
A confession means that one is accepting his mistake and is feeling guilty of whatever he/she has done.

The problem is you are not accepting your fault and no offence but I don't think you are even feeling guilty at your act.
Its just what I feel reading your posts.
You are just narrating an incidence and defending yourself and maybe indirectly saying this is how you teach others a lesson. Don't mess with me.


This is not the purpose of this thread. Its about owning up and promising to be a better person from now on. As somebody earlier mentioned, an eye for and eye will only leave the world blind.

Yes, the other guy was a moron and if you'll look the world is surrounded by such people. We deal with morons everyday.

General, you have to ask yourself, if you are caught in the very similar situation once again, what would be your reaction. Will you react in the similar angry way or in a more calmer and wiser way.

If it's the latter then the purpose of this thread is fulfilled.
If you did read my post, you can find that I've said again and again that I regret what I did and that I'm not justifying my actions. I've never said, directly or indirectly, that I was teaching anyone any lessons. It was an act of frustration. You may have misunderstood me. I am not justifying myself, but its that fact that people think they can get away with anything that angers me. If I just put someone at risk accidentally, I have a responsibility to check on him.

I fully agree with you that the world is filled with morons. But there is so much a person can take.

If this happens again I don't know how I'll react. I sure hope that I'll keep a calmer head. Point is you cant anticipate your own reaction in such situations. I do know the worst I'll do now is to flip him one.
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Old 23rd September 2015, 10:52   #340
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Default Re: Road rage confession


The road rage confession thread is getting thread rage!
Guys, a little leeway please? Road rage will see some angsty behaviour, and the thread does say "confession" of road rage. Maybe he'll tone it down next time. Instead of bashing the helmet on the car, maybe it'll be verbal. But trying to pound a behaviour down someone's throat, or getting a confession of guilt, never works. Let him learn, if not here, then the road.
Its not as if the rest of us don't have skeletons and other stuff in various closets.
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Old 23rd September 2015, 11:57   #341
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@GeneralJazz,
The tone I got from your comments above was not one of repentance but more of a justification of your extreme behavior. If you are really feeling bad about what you have done, it's good but that's still not clear to me.
And about your size, I only mentioned it because you did mention 'I am not a small guy' - there's a sense of bragging here. And size do matter in this kind of scenarios for sure.

Anyways, I will try to present the car drivers' point of view which may or may not be true but possible. Since we are hearing the story only from your side here, we need to think from the other person's perspective as well. It's a busy street where you are changing lanes. The car driver might be in a hurry and mistakenly brushed you bike. This was his mistake, no doubt. The fact that you did not fall off indicates that it was a not a huge impact and it's highly possible that the car driver might not have observed the same in all the chaos.He might not have realized that he put your life at risk. Now, when you chase him and stop your bike in front of him like a filmy hero and then rush to his car window, this guy might have got scared or intimidated (your size might have added to the feeling). Now, the reason he might not have opened the window is he might have been scared with your attitude and feared that you might start hitting him if he opens the window. Body language matters a lot in those circumstances and reading your posts above, it is very clear that you were in a state of rage at that time. Also, honking can be due to a sense of fear or panic.Think about it!

And you are fortunate for 2 reasons -
1> The car driver didn't respond to your extreme action. Otherwise, things would have gone out of control.
2> Probably, he doesn't have a dashcam. Else, you will be in trouble.

I am done with this. As Mayankk said above, it's for you to realize and tone it down. May be you are young. I have done some things on the road when I was younger but you become wiser with age. In younger days, I had that thought if someone drives like a moron, I should teach him a lesson. Nowadays, my point of view and thought process is very different.

Anyways, drive safe and keep your cool.

Last edited by adimicra : 23rd September 2015 at 12:03.
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Old 23rd September 2015, 12:44   #342
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Default Re: Road rage confession

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Originally Posted by adimicra View Post
@GeneralJazz,
The tone I got from your comments above was not one of repentance but more of a justification of your extreme behavior. If you are really feeling bad about what you have done, it's good but that's still not clear to me.
Yet again I say that I am not proud of what I did. I don't think I need to elaborate that any further, unless the point is to feed someones ego. Lets drop it.

Quote:
Anyways, I will try to present the car drivers' point of view which may or may not be true but possible. Since we are hearing the story only from your side here, we need to think from the other person's perspective as well. It's a busy street where you are changing lanes. The car driver might be in a hurry and mistakenly brushed you bike. This was his mistake, no doubt. The fact that you did not fall off indicates that it was a not a huge impact and it's highly possible that the car driver might not have observed the same in all the chaos.
The car hit my handlebar quite hard and I'm sure it was audible. People were even yelling at him to stop so I'm pretty sure he noticed. It was clearly a case of hit and run. I don't know if you've ridden a two wheeler, but even a small hit is enough to throw you off balance.

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He might not have realized that he put your life at risk.
Isn't this a case of negligent driving? Not realizing the fact that you might be putting other at risk by your actions?

Quote:
Now, when you chase him and stop your bike in front of him like a filmy hero and then rush to his car window, this guy might have got scared or intimidated (your size might have added to the feeling). Now, the reason he might not have opened the window is he might have been scared with your attitude and feared that you might start hitting him if he opens the window.
As I've said before, I walk up to him and tell him what happened. Clearly he realized that I'm the same person he hit. Whether I'm 5ft or 7ft, it doesn't matter. By this logic, I can knock down smaller people because I know they cant react? This is not a healthy mentality.

Quote:
Body language matters a lot in those circumstances and reading your posts above, it is very clear that you were in a state of rage at that time. Also, honking can be due to a sense of fear or panic.Think about it!
Exactly. I was angry that someone almost killed me. I didn't walk up to his window and try to smash it. My first words to him were "Dude, you just knocked me down! What the hell!". His response? Honking and yelling at me to get out of the way. As a fellow Bhpian, I am sure you wont do what this guy just did. You would at least have stopped after hitting someone.

Quote:
And you are fortunate for 2 reasons -
1> The car driver didn't respond to your extreme action. Otherwise, things would have gone out of control.
2> Probably, he doesn't have a dashcam. Else, you will be in trouble.
Good he didnt respond. The locals were agitated as well. He would have gotten into more trouble.
As I said before, his dashcam will clearly show that it was a hit and run. It will show me turning on my blinkers well before my turn and gradually slowing to a halt.
Quote:
I am done with this. As Mayankk said above, it's for you to realize and tone it down. May be you are young. I have done some things on the road when I was younger but you become wiser with age. In younger days, I had that thought if someone drives like a moron, I should teach him a lesson. Nowadays, my point of view and thought process is very different.

Anyways, drive safe and keep your cool.
So am I. The only reason I keep replying is because people are defending the driver. Some have even said that its ok to drive off after hitting someone if he's not physically hurt. This says a lot about the kind of drivers on our roads.

I don't need to elaborate more. The whole point of my post was not to glorify the altercation. It was a reaction. As I've said many times, it's a courtesy to check on the person you've just hit. I dont intend to teach every moron a lesson, he'll learn it from someone at sometime. And yeah I will be more careful. Violence is never my thing anyway.

What I've tried to convey is that there are somethings you should and shouldn't do on the road. To be a perfect driver is impossible. Its not possible to drive without hitting someone, or get hit at least once. In those situations, there are things you should and shouldnt do. I am of the opinion that if you do hit someone by accident, you should have the courtesy to stop, check on him and apologize. And this is not to feed my or anyone else's ego. I've apologized many times even in cases where its not my fault.

Going by the responses I've got so far, some agree that we should indeed check on a person we've hit, while some say its ok to hit as long as the 'hittee' seems ok. To each his own I'd say. This is what I've tried to highlight so far, not to justify my actions.
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Old 23rd September 2015, 13:58   #343
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Default Re: Road rage confession

Probably I have to agree with what admirica said above. It could be your body language that made the driver not roll down his window and apologize even if we wanted to. Please note that I am endorsing neither the driver nor your actions that led to this confrontation in the first place.

Let me put down a similar situation I was in and why I did not apologise. A car driver was very upset as I couldn't give him space to overtake from the left of my car and I was in the leftmost lane. Once he somehow managed, he was enraged and stopped the car in front of me, got down, and started giving his piece of mind (you know how they usually do this).

The guy was quite older to me, leaner to me (if size does matter), but I was not in for a confrontation and my immediate reaction when he came near my door was to check the door locks. He tried to pull open the door, but couldn't. I didn't roll down my windows as to who knows if he would land a punch on my face the moment I did it. All he could was shout standing there, make a scene, land a couple of kicks on my car tyres and walk off. Problem solved, this could be what went through that car driver's mind. Unfortunately in a fit of rage you dented his bonnet.

Okay, now gyan time, take it or leave it - You retaliate in defence, that is self protection. What you did was retaliate in vengence, after the incident occured and you were perfectly safe. You went after the guy expecting an apology that he didn't give and you retaliated back in full anger then that is a crime.

One should always try to let go, I know its easier said than done, but try to do it sincerely, every time and it becomes a habit.
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Old 23rd September 2015, 14:13   #344
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Default Re: Road rage confession

Yesterday when returning home from work, an indica cab was driving on the lane marker and refused to budge in spite of honking. I started overtaking him from the right, misjudged the gap and his driver side ORVM and my passenger side ORVM brushed against each other. All this at speeds less than 40 kmph. I immediately stopped the car and he veered into my lane blocking me off and stopped as well. Got out and came to my window. I had already rolled my window down and was waiting. The moment he came to my side, I smiled at him and said "Sorry brother. I misjudged the gap. My fault". The guy's stance and face visibly changed. He asked who would be responsible and who would pay for the damages, had we collided. I sincerely replied - "If I am at fault, then obviously I have to pay. Glad that nothing happened and both of us are OK. Sorry again".

The guy smiled and responded with "That is OK Sir. Drive carefully". I smiled back and said "Will do. You also please try and stay in one lane and not drive on the lane marker". We both left and went our own ways.

Lesson learnt - Road rage doesn't help. Being nice and apologizing goes a long way in preventing a situation from turning ugly
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Old 23rd September 2015, 14:31   #345
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Originally Posted by Lij View Post
Let me put down a similar situation I was in and why I did not apologise. A car driver was very upset as I couldn't give him space to overtake from the left of my car and I was in the leftmost lane. Once he somehow managed, he was enraged and stopped the car in front of me, got down, and started giving his piece of mind (you know how they usually do this).

Okay, now gyan time, take it or leave it - You retaliate in defence, that is self protection. What you did was retaliate in vengence, after the incident occured and you were perfectly safe. You went after the guy expecting an apology that he didn't give and you retaliated back in full anger then that is a crime.

One should always try to let go, I know its easier said than done, but try to do it sincerely, every time and it becomes a habit.
What happened with you is completely different. Let me put it this way. While trying to overtake from the left, suppose he had hit you hard enough that you veered off into the opposite lane onto oncoming traffic, would you have reacted any differently? If not, you've mastered inner peace! Kudos! You have to note that in this case, I wasnt driving in a rash manner or try to get him riled up.

Yes I did go after him in anger. Bad judgement on my part, but I wanted to let him know that he might have cost me my life. I never had any intention to damage his car,and as I've said, I went upto him to have a few words. Leave stepping out, he started yelling at me to get out of the way. He didn't care that he might have killed somebody. He just wanted to get to his destination. Sad to see people defending guys like this.

Quote:
Originally Posted by PatchyBoy View Post
Lesson learnt - Road rage doesn't help. Being nice and apologizing goes a long way in preventing a situation from turning ugly
My point exactly. Only with the added part that he could have seriously injured another person.
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