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Old 24th July 2015, 19:30   #166
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Wink What grinds your gears ? (Humour)

This post is not meant to be offensive. It is a lampoon. Please do not take it seriously (unless you don't find it funny in which case I shall simply request you to smile because you only live once )
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You know what was grinding my gears for sometime ? I was thinking the other day - should I upgrade my Xbox 360 to an Xbox One ? Then it dawned on me that I don't need to. The reason is driven by a simple fact - I don't really need this upgrade. I'll just be wasting money if I do that. In fact, I forgot that I am already living and breathing in a video game ! Maybe in another dimension this game is called Tron but in our own it's simply known as "Indian Roads". Yes ! that's the one. Electronic Arts might have their NFS games, Microsoft might have Forza Motorsport and the lot, but let's face it - there's nothing like strapping yourself everyday (optional really) and facing your demons head on. The thrill of driving a car with minimal safety on a road riddled with potholes at 120 km/h while being tailgated by a heavily sedated F1 driver in a reasonably priced car is something out of this world ! Really, I mean it's like entering the Interstellar wormhole everyday to get to office or college. Who knows ? When the world finally ends with a mad max style apocalypse we might just be the most macho drivers on Earth (or what's left of it). The best part of this game is that manufacturers don't give you all that they can ! They will give you ABS to keep mum happy but rear drum brakes to make things exciting and the game difficult to conquer. Thus the reasoning of not buying a new Xbox.

Maybe I am just being too ignorant, I am probably forgetting that while most people were pasting "Got BHP?" stickers on their bumpers I had decided not to indulge. After all I didn't want people to say "That's how a BHPian drives?!" Let's not forget that time when I nicked Honda City wale uncle's car and drove off instead of parking at Khan Market. Or that time when I ate in my car and the guys at 3M found a freeze dried sample of a chicken momo a month later. Yet I'll be the first one to read the sticky posts on "How to keep your car in top shape" on team-bhp and nod like a British aristocrat.

But what really grinds my gears is the little mini drag races at the end of a stop light. When the lights are about to go green the whole traffic seems to lose patience like chimpanzees in Planet of the Apes. Bikers start it, moving ahead and then cars think "How did he/she get past me ? Let me teach him/her a lesson". Inch by inch, play by play all cars move ahead till the signal turns green. That's when the howling starts. I am sure Hella is doing great business in India. Their marketing strategy is to probably force the government to install more signals. Hey, there's nothing that a pair of red grills can't solve.

If that wasn't enough there are the rains. According to a prophecy only a teaspoon of rain will bring Delhi to a halt and I have never even been to Mumbai ! All things said and done there are about 286452 things that if improved can turn our roads in the German Autobahn. Except when we built an F1 track (BIC) we decided to hold concerts and weddings there !

Which is why I ask you BHPians - What grinds your gears on our roads ?
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Old 25th July 2015, 17:29   #167
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Default Re: What grinds your gears ? (Humour)

What grinds my gears?

The fact that our roads seem to be "water soluble". At the first sign of rain, the roads practically wash away!
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Old 25th July 2015, 22:54   #168
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Default Re: What grinds your gears ? (Humour)

Haha, loved the way you presented your write-up. What grinds my gears? Hmmm, let me think.

1) All the hooligans mentioned on the "Bad drivers" thread.
2) A highly flawed RTO system all over India.

I could go on and on and never stop but one thing I do know for certain is that to live here is like spreading butter on bread. The butter may be hard and the bread soft or the butter smooth and the bread toasted. Now whether you use a butter knife or a butcher's knife, that is a matter best left for another thread :-)
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Old 25th July 2015, 23:37   #169
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Default Re: What grinds your gears ? (Humour)

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Originally Posted by AbhiJ View Post
What grinds my gears?

The fact that our roads seem to be "water soluble". At the first sign of rain, the roads practically wash away!
The chief engineer of IRB (which operates many toll roads in Maharashtra) stated on a call to me that the diesel spilt from stationery trucks is very harmful to the bitumen used in constructing roads, and is a major reason why there are potholes on the roads.

Grinding gears? After hearing the above reply I felt as if someone's gear oil was running very low.
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Old 20th September 2015, 11:02   #170
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Default Re: 7 Habits of highly effective idiots on Indian roads

One category of idiots is those who drive off a couple of seconds before the traffic light turns "Green". For ex: Say a traffic signal has a timer for 60 seconds to stay red. There would be bikers who would wait for 56 seconds and then ride away. Technically, they have still jumped the signal. If you could wait for 56s then why not for 4 more seconds. Idiotic!!!
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Old 20th September 2015, 11:52   #171
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Originally Posted by rohanak1 View Post
One category of idiots is those who drive off a couple of seconds before the traffic light turns "Green". For ex: Say a traffic signal has a timer for 60 seconds to stay red. There would be bikers who would wait for 56 seconds and then ride away. Technically, they have still jumped the signal. If you could wait for 56s then why not for 4 more seconds. Idiotic!!!
I met such a guy. Unfortunately for him, my signal was green and he came in front of my car. I tried to stop but it was too late. I hit his bike hard. Fortunately for me, he didn't get hurt. The traffic police saw It happen. The idiot biker was arguing with me that I should have driven slowly. I was like, why didn't you wait till your signal turned green?

My car did get damaged badly. Had to change the front bumper.
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Old 6th October 2015, 00:26   #172
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Default Re: 7 Habits of highly effective idiots on Indian roads

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Had to change the front bumper.
Unfortunately in such situations even the cops use kangaroo logic. I was told once that if your car is hit from the right side that means its your fault, if the car is hit from the left side not your fault. And as it has always been if you have a bigger vehicle its your fault. QED in case of a mishap jaywalker>biker>car>SUV>truck
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Old 2nd January 2016, 14:23   #173
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Smile Here's why they wish you a happy and 'safe' new year

Hi all,

Itís that time of the year again when many people make a list of new habits theyíll resolve to follow when the new year rings in. If youíre one of them and are reading this, thatís great, because this post is meant for you.

If adopting better driving practices is part of your new yearís resolution, continue reading. Congratulations on believing you can hone your driving skills. I believe I can encourage you to take the first few steps in the right direction. Here are a couple of basics you may or may not have learnt in driving school that define your attitude on the road.

Stop honking. No, really. Just stop honking as much as you can. Iíve said this a million times before in some blog posts, and here I go again - you almost never have to blow your horn. In the last five years or so of 'horn-free' driving, I have come to realise that I can be a safe driver without blaring into surrounding fellow motoristsí ears every few minutes.

ĎBut what if there are dogs and cows in my way?í, you ask.
I donít think a dog on the road has ever moved aside because I honked at it. Most animals on the road will move away as you approach them (except cows, they take their own sweet time, the cocky blighters). Only ensure you donít run them down by going too fast.

ĎAnd at intersections?í
Nope. Keep your eyes peeled and cover the brake pedal if you must. Honk once only if you think a vehicle entering the junction has not noticed you.

ĎOr stuck in really heavy traffic?í
Definitely not.

ĎBut why not? Everyone else seems to do it.í
Try this - the next time youíre queueing at a bank or a cinema, try mimicking the sound of a car horn loudly; actually open your mouth and try screaming, ĎPAAAM-PAMí to the person in front of you. If you feel even a modicum of embarrassment trickle through you, stop the habit of honking while waiting in traffic; because thatís exactly what honking implies on the road - impatience and churlishness. However, if it looks like the driver ahead of you has drifted off when the signal turns green, gently jab the horn switch a few times to grab their attention.

Hereís another area of improvement - taking turns the right way.
There is a chance that the last time you took a turn properly into a road was during your driving licence test, to pass it, because the only way you should be turning into roads is by taking short left turns and long right turns so as to stay on the correct (left) side of the road at all times. If youíve been following this rule every single time, you get full marks for being a sensible driver. If youíve been doing otherwise, itís time to add this to your new yearís resolution-list. This one is important because when you donít follow it, youíre eating into the oncoming trafficís space and allowing room for accidents. Following the rule properly also allows everyone at a junction to turn without having to wait or reverse.

A similar principle applies to roundabouts. Youíll have to learn to go around them for exits on the right hand side if you have previously taught yourself to cut across them diagonally.

Resolutions are hard to carry out, but with some determination to change and by applying conscious effort continually, you can teach yourself to follow a safe practice. And itís never too late to learn one of those.

I myself have resolved to ensure that all passengers in my car wear their seatbelts before setting off. I have been doing this for some years now but now I intend to impose this personal rule of mine without any exemption whatsoever.

Have a good year, and happy motoring.

Regards,
Vignesh
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Old 2nd January 2016, 16:25   #174
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Default Re: Here's why they wish you a happy and 'safe' new year

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Originally Posted by vigneshg View Post
Hi all,
...

Stop honking. No, really. Just stop honking as much as you can. ... because thatís exactly what honking implies on the road - impatience and churlishness.

Hereís another area of improvement - taking turns the right way...

Regards,
Vignesh
Both of the learnings are best learnt when practically experienced. I would share mine when I went Germany a few years back.

We were in Frankfurt in some sort of fest, roads in main market were heavily crowded. Just like a normal scene in Chandni Chowk, Delhi. We saw a car constantly cruising among the crowd patiently for more than 10 minutes before passing off! And WITHOUT honking even a single time. If it was in India, everyone's ears might have been blown off by then!
Throughout 2 weeks of our stay in Germany and Czech Republic, we didn't hear even a single horn!

Patience and self awareness is the key, I guess.


In another experience, in Stuttgart, we noticed broken lanes been drawn on road in an intersection with traffic lights. Which a screenshot from Google maps might explain better.
It would best explain what the starting post suggests while taking a turn.

7 Habits of highly effective idiots on Indian roads-screenshot_20160102160636.png
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Old 2nd January 2016, 18:26   #175
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Default Re: Here's why they wish you a happy and 'safe' new year

Definitely noise pollution has increased by leaps and bounds. But what if you are driving through hilly sections?
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Old 3rd January 2016, 17:21   #176
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Default Re: 7 Habits of highly effective idiots on Indian roads

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Originally Posted by Ashir View Post
In another experience, in Stuttgart, we noticed broken lanes been drawn on road in an intersection with traffic lights
Two things- one, the Germans in general have a defined procedure for almost everything, turning at intersections is only one of them. And two, Stuttgart roads are not the widest you'd find but the traffic density is quite high, hence these lanes help even a noob driver not stray into the adjacent lane.
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But what if you are driving through hilly sections?
You don't have to keep your palm glued to the Horn button while driving on ghats, instead you can give short blasts at blind turns. That's not going to hurt.
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