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Old 29th October 2009, 12:40   #1
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Default Why People get Irritated if Corrected?

Funny situation today morning.

Since i moved house. I ride and take the bus alternately to office. Today was riding day.

Incident 1:

While on 100 ft road, Indiranagar. A bike rider is honking to let him pass from my left. I am riding on the left most edge of the road. I dont relent. He keeps at it. Untill we come to a place where the pavement is smaller leaving enough place for him to overtake from the left. He shoots off.

I stop next to him at the next signal. Take off my helmet, tap on his shoulder and ask him politely, "Why do you overtake from left?".

I can see through his visor the blood running to his head. He starts yelling.

"SEE, SEE."

See what?

SEE BEHIND.

I was. So?

I WAS HONKING.

Yes. I could hear that. So?

NOT MOVING. (Pointing finger at me)

Yeah, overtake from right. Why were you trying to overtake from left.

The signal turns green.

GET LOST. And he rides off.

I was like what a low life.

Incident 2.

Trying to get on Old Airport road from the road just before the sky walk.

A NHC is waiting to get a gap in traffic to join the main road. I am right behind him. We are all turning left.

A biker comes and tries to make his way from the left of the NHC.

The NHC gets a gap and moves forward too. Both of them move together and due to this the gap between the pavement and the car reduces and the bike rider gets stuck and hits the rear left wheel of the car.

The car driver gets off immediately and starts shouting at the bike rider.

The bike rider starts arguing, you came to the left, I was here nonsense.

The road is blocked. I am stuck too.

This goes on for a minute. A minute is a lot when stuck doing nothing.

I have had enough. Raise my visor. Tap the guy on the bike. "Sir, why are you arguing? You know its your mistake. Say sorry and get on."

WHAT? WHAT?

The car guy thanks me and goes back and drives off.

The biker is still huffing and puffing along with some road side worthless folks.

Why don't we just accept something as wrong even after knowing it is?

Why does the ego need to get hurt when someone corrects you?

Is it too much to ask for?

Last edited by Spitfire : 29th October 2009 at 12:43.
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Old 29th October 2009, 12:44   #2
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SpitFire: you answwered it yourself. EGO. No one likes to be told about their mistakes.
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Old 29th October 2009, 12:45   #3
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Actually you guys are wrong - everyone is right all the time (except maybe you folks )
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Old 29th October 2009, 12:48   #4
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EGO man. People think they are the best riders and drivers this side of Schumacher. They hate to be told they are wrong, especially by strangers in traffic.
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Old 29th October 2009, 12:51   #5
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true- when sound or constructive criticism is warranted, the recipient of such usually takes it personally - it is a defence mechanism.
also - the choice of words, tone of voice and body language matters a great deal when sharing criticism/ pointers or else the recipient's defences immediately get into over drive!
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Old 29th October 2009, 12:51   #6
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At least 50% of the two wheeler riders don't know how to drive on the road. They know how to operate their vehicles and can ride without falling off, but that's about it. Hell, even a bear in a circus can do that! Imbibing traffic rules and riding properly on the road is different altogether. This applies to car drivers too, but to a much lesser extent. And I am not considering uneducated road users (read auto wallahs) here. Two wheeler guys are well educated mostly.

Before someone jumps on me, let me clarify I ride my bike to work every day and use the car only on week-ends!
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Old 29th October 2009, 12:54   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gd1418 View Post
SpitFire: you answwered it yourself. EGO. No one likes to be told about their mistakes.
Yes. I know its ego. But why? What is wrong in being humble? You did a mistake agree to it and get on with it. Arguing for the heck of it? Whats there to gain?

Quote:
Originally Posted by greenhorn View Post
Actually you guys are wrong - everyone is right all the time (except maybe you folks )
Ha ha LOL. Yeah.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nikhilb2008 View Post
EGO man.
These are educated men. Both of them. No remorse, but attitude that you can't correct me.

Hilarious actually. Making a fool of themselves trying to show they are in the right.
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Old 29th October 2009, 12:55   #8
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Frankly speaking, most of these guys who are riding these days are not even aware that overtaking from the left is wrong and not done. Take care and avoid them on the road as far as possible.
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Old 29th October 2009, 12:59   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Spitfire View Post
..........Why don't we just accept something as wrong even after knowing it is? Why does the ego need to get hurt when someone corrects you? Is it too much to ask for?
A person needs guts (or character or substance or self-confidence, call it what you like) to admit a mistake and apologize to another, especially when he isn't facing any physical threat. Most people just don't have it.

When the other person is a stranger it's even more difficult. You would be admitting weakness to someone you don't even know.

In examples like yours, there's also a lack of common sense. The first guy probably was just not aware of how to overtake - lots of them around. The second guy wasn't capable of anticipating that the car would need more space to turn and that he'd get stuck between the car and the pavement. Again, lots of people like him.

In these cases, an apology is even more unlikely because they don't even know they've made a mistake.
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Old 29th October 2009, 13:08   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Spitfire View Post
I stop next to him at the next signal. Take off my helmet, tap on his shoulder and ask him politely, "Why do you overtake from left?".

Yeah, overtake from right. Why were you trying to overtake from left.
A biker comes and tries to make his way from the left of the NHC.

I have had enough. Raise my visor. Tap the guy on the bike. "Sir, why are you arguing? You know its your mistake. Say sorry and get on."

WHAT? WHAT?
95% of the drivers/riders on our roads do not understand that overtaking on the left is wrong. Neither do they believe in giving way for a vehicle to pass on the right. You will get the same response if you ask him why he did not give way. He will ask you to overtake from the left. So he feels when he is doing the right thing, why should you question him.
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Old 29th October 2009, 13:08   #11
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Yup its all about "EGO" mixed with "no" common sense and lack of sensibility and lot of selfishness!
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Old 29th October 2009, 13:21   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by shankar.balan View Post
it is a defence mechanism.
Agree. Also its like - if this gets serious then i may have to shell out money so let me argue to show that I was not wrong.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Gansan View Post
They know how to operate their vehicles and can ride without falling off, but that's about it.
Exactly. And thats a concern. A big one.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sudipto-S-Team View Post
Take care and avoid them on the road as far as possible.
Yeah I am slowly becoming the subtle kind.

Quote:
Originally Posted by straightdrive View Post
The first guy probably was just not aware
Quote:
they don't even know they've made a mistake.
Quote:
Originally Posted by esteem_lover View Post
95% of the drivers/riders on our roads do not understand that overtaking on the left is wrong.
Quote:
So he feels when he is doing the right thing, why should you question him.
You guys are absolutely correct. If the same manuvers were being doen by an Auto/Cab or some other. Whose belief in rules is minimal. I wouldn't have bothered correcting them.

These 2 were (or atleast) looked educated, well employed and surely knew the rules. Its basics that the gap reduces during turning and right side overtaking.

Quote:
Originally Posted by lohithrao View Post
Yup its all about "EGO" mixed with "no" common sense and lack of sensibility and lot of selfishness!
Yes Lohith. Very sad. I don't these days try and reason with autos/cabs but try and see whether the educated can react in a positive way.
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Old 29th October 2009, 13:21   #13
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Forgot to also mention - pushing and shoving is generally taken as our birthright. We often physically remove the person infront of us to the side to get ahead in narrow but crowded pedestrian flow areas, even though there might not be any way for the person in front to go faster.
So, these bikers are exhibiting the same mindset. Getting ahead is my birth right. And please don't lecture us as to whether we will overtake you from the left or right. You are lucky that we didn't knock you down to go ahead.
Another very annoying practise these days I find is the habit of overtaking when you are turning. They don't realise that these are basically very unsafe things to do for themselves.
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Old 29th October 2009, 13:23   #14
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Biggest reason is EGO also could also be because if someone accepts his/her fault the other guy/gal might ask them to pay up for their damages. If thay keep arguing one of them will finally get vexed and just leave.
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Old 29th October 2009, 13:24   #15
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Spitfire are you sure they were not Americans.
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