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Old 26th January 2010, 20:30   #1
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Default Travelling with Wife/Mother/sisters

Hi,

This is a question i wanna post for a long time. I always wanted to take my sisters for a long trip but i am little hesitant about their safety so i always prefer to take them when we do group tour. But seeing many travelogues here i was gaining confidence which turned upside down again when the following incident happened.

I and my friend were going to pick his wife from her friend's house in Triplicane. When we were coming back in those small streets, we saw a drunken citizen fully out of his mind. He was pushing down all the bikes and was throwing things around. my friend, slowed down the car and there was one bike which crossed us and went close to that guy. He just stopped them and slapped him without any reason. Everyone around was just watching him.

My friend was getting mad and was thinking about getting out. I just stopped him and asked him to reverse the car and take a left. When he was reversing, this guy just came straight to our car and started kicking it. my friend was getting annoyed and was just controlling himself. we took a left and move out from there. We couldnt get back to normal for few minutes. The reason, we avoided was primarily 'cos we have a woman in the car and dont want to end up in any bad situation. Secondly, the people around him were his friends and relatives. they would have jumped if my friend went out to hit him.

Now, i lost the idea about travelling with my sisters alone. I know Its unsafe in night but this happened in the middle of the day. i just wanted to hear from you guys about your opinion. Here, I see many going for a long trips with wife, mother and sister. How do you guys handle these situations? do you always feel comfortable driving in the ghats with your wife?
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Old 26th January 2010, 20:44   #2
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@Klassics45: Your friend would have been right if he had gotten down and kicked that drunk bugger.

Chennai is a pretty safe place, but like every modern city has its black spots!
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Old 26th January 2010, 20:49   #3
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When I am traveling on highways with my wife and my kid following are a few things that I keep in my mind.
1. Keep my ego aside and just drive at a safe speed. Always ready to say sorry and avoid an argument and move on.
2. Stay away from overtly crowded areas and also try to stay away from isolated ares.
3. Try to do most of the driving from sunrise to sunset.
4. Keep enough time on hand in between destinations specially when you have a kid with you.
5. Never be aggressive on road.

Keeping all the above in mind still I believe isolated things will happen. But that doesnt mean we should stop enjoying our life. Its just a matter of being safe than sorry.

Last edited by deky : 26th January 2010 at 20:59.
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Old 26th January 2010, 20:56   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by klassics45 View Post
Hi,
Here, I see many going for a long trips with wife, mother and sister. How do you guys handle these situations?
Well whenever we go (I am unmarried and the only off spring to my parents). Its usually a big group, with a minimum of 6-7 people. As you mentioned, ghats is covered only during day or at the most sun set. Night driving is strictly avoided, trips are planned such that by 7-8pm we are camped for the day. Its different while I go with my college friends though, we do a bit of night driving purely for fun(its always a hired car, we don't take our own)
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Old 27th January 2010, 01:02   #5
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@Klassics: I don't think the incident you have mentioned has anything related to the safety of women. As a matter of fact, we just try to molly-coddle the women in our household a bit too much. My wife drives herself and is actually quite capable of handling situations. Also I have been driving with my wife for a long time and even do long distance night drives. Precautions mentioned by deky are very appropriate and apply whether there are women or not in the car.
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Old 27th January 2010, 08:29   #6
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Well, I am unmarried, and no plans for ruining my life atleast for 8-10 more years.

About you being in fear, how much will you worry ? These things happen all along in almost all the states and cities. Wrong thing are there in almost all cities, not just a few. At some places, things come up, and at some places the crime wont come to surface.

There is absolutely no fear or worry that has to be there when you are driving with your mom or sisters. Make sure that all doors are locked and windows rolled up. Also ask everyone to wear seat belts. Thats all.

We normally come home from A'bad at around 12 at night or even 2 am, sometimes I am not travelling, its only my father, mom and sister.
We have done Rajkot to Vadodara in night with female passengers, started from Rajkot at 10:00 pm.

So no need to worry.

Your friend should have beaten the drunkard. I have faced this situation near Waghodia, and if people had not intervened, I would have beaten that guy more, enough to warrant a bed in hospital.

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Originally Posted by MileCruncher View Post
@Klassics: I don't think the incident you have mentioned has anything related to the safety of women. As a matter of fact, we just try to molly-coddle the women in our household a bit too much.
Agree with you.
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Old 27th January 2010, 08:37   #7
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+1

You need to get out there to get these jollly elves outta your head. We can all post 100 posts but not get inside your head!
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Old 27th January 2010, 11:02   #8
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@@Klassics45 - I understand about your situation, however, this is something similar to one of the discussion I remember a long discussion thread discuss about accidents and driving & I find this thread almost sounding similar to that. To cut the long story short, if you're not confident of handling those situation, then point blank, never go in for long drive.

I love driving & enjoy all the good, bad, highway, city, country roads. I take my Wife & kids along whenever possible. I've done all way from Chennai to Trivandrum night drive in a single stretch (never slept during the day still), all way from Chennai to Kochi with my 2 year old son & most part of TN. Just take some precautions before driving & I'm sure you'll enjoy the trips. Here's what I do usually apart from what deky says
1. Collect information about all the possible routes from people who're experienced in the most recent times
2. Visualize the routes using google/mustseeindia/mapofindia & from what you hear from step 1, so that you'll get to know where you can expect certain things like bad road, animal crossing, village roads etc. Never hit the road without completing this.
3. By all means, avoid night drives even if you drive a Sumo with 15 people
4. Keep your drive in more than excellent condition & drive only when you have 100% faith with the vehicle. All the more, trust in yourself that you can handle any situation & if you happen to face one, do it confidently
5. If you're planning to stay somewhere, try to stay in a relatives or well known friends houses or reputed hotels (again, collect this information before hand) at any cost
6. Last but not the least, if you're still skeptical about the route, try the drive with your friends & then go with the family.
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Old 27th January 2010, 11:13   #9
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Klassics45, I have just one advice to you.

Be a Man !
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Old 27th January 2010, 13:23   #10
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thanks all for your thoughts!!

@@headers, MileCruncher, aaggoswami, esteem_lover, there were days when you have guts to get out and hit these guys but few incidents just settle in your mind and changes you a lot.

Same friend of mine had a very bad incident a couple of years back when they were not married. the girl was teased by 3 guys in a bike when parked their bike to attend a call. it all ended up with a broken nose to my friend and the 2 guys were hit by my friend's helmet. I still remember the panic call from my friend's wife. She was crying so loud and when i reach the spot it was crowded heavily and she standing in between with my friend bleeding badly. Thankfully the crowd caught 2 of them and she called 100. And you know what happens in the station, unmarried couple and the questions. it become a day that i cannot forget!! It changed a lot in me.

Yeah this can happen to anyone and its a part of life and women need to bold etc etc. she was very brave girl and she herself called 100 and even spoke to the police strongly but i cant forget her crying face in the middle of public with no blame on their side.

Maybe it had more impact on me than expected and the reason for me to post here is to gain confidence by hearing from you guys on your experience. As you all know, when you hear from positive opinions it helps you to change and my goal is to change myself.

Thanks again!!!
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Old 27th January 2010, 13:39   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by klassics45 View Post
Now, i lost the idea about travelling with my sisters alone. I know Its unsafe in night but this happened in the middle of the day. i just wanted to hear from you guys about your opinion. Here, I see many going for a long trips with wife, mother and sister. How do you guys handle these situations? do you always feel comfortable driving in the ghats with your wife?

Klassics, these things are bound to happen anywhere in India. You can't help than avoid.

Moreover, I have noticed, you are more safe when you are with mother/sisters/wives/girlfriends When in a situation, people always support the "Ladies". So if anyone misbehaves, you have people supporting you.

To Add, be strong and go with them wherever you want to. Mostly try to avoid the situation, but when you can't help it... jump into it, and teach them a lesson. It is not fair you stop going out with your loved ones coz of few hooligans on road
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Old 27th January 2010, 13:40   #12
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Klassic, i guess one cant foresee a bad scenario nor it makes any sense to be afraid and go to a hiding. one has to be calm and should have presence of mind to avoid any bad confrontation..
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Old 27th January 2010, 15:02   #13
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Dont underestimate women these days !! Give them the freedom and the confidence level, they will outsmart you at any given time. I keep travelling with mum and wife whenever there is a chance. Over the years I have got a feeling, if there is a situation to argue or fight with someone on the road, my wife (being a mumbaikar until marriage) would be the first one to jump out and start that. Its not that she messes up the situation for me, but solves it before I even think of stepping out.
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Old 27th January 2010, 16:43   #14
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I must agree here, but most of the times women grown or lived in Mumbai are really good at handling such situations i have witnessed my cousins handling situations very well!

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Dont underestimate women these days !! Give them the freedom and the confidence level, they will outsmart you at any given time. I keep travelling with mum and wife whenever there is a chance. Over the years I have got a feeling, if there is a situation to argue or fight with someone on the road, my wife (being a mumbaikar until marriage) would be the first one to jump out and start that. Its not that she messes up the situation for me, but solves it before I even think of stepping out.
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Old 27th January 2010, 16:46   #15
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Originally Posted by shajufx View Post
Dont underestimate women these days !! Give them the freedom and the confidence level, they will outsmart you at any given time. I keep travelling with mum and wife whenever there is a chance. Over the years I have got a feeling, if there is a situation to argue or fight with someone on the road, my wife (being a mumbaikar until marriage) would be the first one to jump out and start that. Its not that she messes up the situation for me, but solves it before I even think of stepping out.

LOL, my sisters are similar to your wife. its just that i am over protective or need to gain the confidence.
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