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Old 3rd May 2008, 17:55   #61
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Nice stuff Sam..reminds me of the time i was bit by a Russell’s Viper in rural Maharashtra..luckly i was in an area where those snakes were common and the govt hospital had the anti venom in stock with them. No body belives me when i tell them that i killed that snake and took it the hospital so that the docters could identify the species of snake which bit me. Me and my friends were stupid enough to catch snakes and scorpions for fun
this is how one them look like.

P.S Sorry for going O.T
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Old 3rd May 2008, 18:12   #62
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Default YetiBlog® February 1999 - continued

The Jeep's broken down. I'm slipping away. We've just found out the the accelerator cable is broken and that's not something that can be fixed.

Dom's taken my maglite and Haji and him are chatting excitedly outside. Haji cannot understand what Dom is saying, Dom has no idea what Haji's problem is.

I am delirious and in pain. I must be strong. Sam! be strong!

Suddenly the stupidest thing that can ever happen to a man in this situation happens. I start singing. Not only am I singing, I am enjoying it immensely.

I am Iron man

daah daah dahdahdah dadadadadada daduhduhdah

Has he lost his mind?
Can he see or is he blind?
Can he walk at all,
Or if he moves will he fall?

daah daah dahdahdah dadadadadada daduhduhdah

Is he alive or dead?
Has he thoughts within his head?
Well just pass him there
Why should we even care?

The more pain I am in, the louder I am singing. I am shaking my head and roaring the lyrics out.
The ladies are looking at me in shock. I know this must look ridiculous to anyone, especially if they cannot understand why I am singing in a nasal voice like a certain Mr. Osbourne. I am grinning. Yup, if I die then I want to die this way.

daah daah dahdahdah dadadadadada daduhduhdah

Suddenly Dom comes to the back of the Jeep. Sam, let me see your trousers. I stare at him blankly. He lifts my shirt. AHA! Tie-up pants, just as I suspected.

He's undoing my pants. I hold his hand and look at him. What are you doing Dom?

I need the cord that holds your pants Sam. I'm going to fix the Jeep.

I look at him incredulously, I am hallucinating. Did he just say he's going to repair the Jeep with my pajame ka naada? Man this hallucination stuff is crazy!

But he is really undoing my pants! First the Spanish lady, now an Englishman. This is not how I want to die!

Dom is talking to me kindly even as he is undoing my pants and pulling the cord out.
I had an old Citroen in college you know, and one day the throttle cable snapped. I had no money to buy a new one so I tied some fishing tackle line to the throttle and pulled from the drivers seat. It worked till the end of the month till I could afford a new cable.

Soon Dom has gone with my trouser cord and my pants are round my knees. I look like I am in the toilet, all I'm missing is a newspaper.

daah daah dahdahdah dadadadadada daduhduhdah

Dominic is a genius, I'll give him that. He's somehow managed to tie the cord to the throttle lever and now when he yanks, the jeep revs.
He guides the naada out from under the bonnet and towards the passenger side.

COR says he, it's too short!
(YetiNote: I do not actually know if he said Cor, but it sounds about right for an Englishman to say something like that in a situation like this)

Nah wait, I can manage, Faye, hold me.

I stop singing with my pants around my knees and turn and stare at the goings-on (much to the girls' relief who think that I'm quite potty. Pun intended.)

Faye runs to the front bench and sits between Haji and Dom. Dom sticks himself out of the jeep (the jeep has no doors in the front) holding onto the funny handle type thing on the dash. Faye holds his legs inside the jeep.

He pulls. VROOM VROOM.

Haji presses the clutch, puts her into first, looks at Dom, Dom yanks the cord, Haji releases the clutch. We're OFF!

Dom loosens the cord, CHANGE!

Haji quickly gets her into second, dom pulls the cord VROOM and haji releases the clutch. The Jeep lurches forward but carries on. Takes on some speed and...

Dom loosens the cord, CHANGE!!
Haji presses the clutch, slides her into third, Dom yanks the cord, VROOOMM, LURCHHH, we're doing 50 or 60 now.

YAAAAHAAAAAAA! screams Dom
YIPPEEE yells Faye!
WOOOHOOOO! shouts Haji

daah daah dahdahdah dadadadadada daduhduhdah

We're going to make it. We have to.

I refuse to die with my trousers around my knees.

To be Continued.

Last edited by Sam Kapasi : 3rd May 2008 at 18:19.
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Old 3rd May 2008, 18:29   #63
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What a story-teller. Kudos Sam!!
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Old 3rd May 2008, 18:34   #64
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mahindras never let you down! i remember using a peice of nylon string to repair a snapped fan belt in an MM540 at 11pm in the middle of nowhere.

in this case, having an englishman who was broke in his college days and you having tie- up pants saved your life!
truly filmy!
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Old 3rd May 2008, 20:04   #65
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i am surprised jeep did not have a cord. I have a few in my car for emergencies.....anyway, great going Sam, keep it up.
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Old 3rd May 2008, 23:35   #66
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Originally Posted by Sam Kapasi View Post
So! I think. Here? In front of everyone? Well if I can die here in front of everyone... Dying is a pretty intimate act too, if you ask me.

I look at her and nod slightly.

She throws herself down onto my foot.

Realisation dawns on me. I want to slap myself on the head, but am not in the mood to raise my hands. I have seen this in many bollywood movies.
Arrey?! How could you even think of anything like this in that situation? MEN!

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I just appointed myself your publisher/manager/whatever..
Sooooo sorry! That position is already taken

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Oh she'll be along shortly I am sure.
She likes to read my stories. One of the reasons she kind of likes me at all actually.
Oh come on! That was an aspect I only discovered much later!!! A nice bonus though if you want to think of it like that.
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Old 4th May 2008, 00:36   #67
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Sam finish this of fast or you mite find scorpions around you again
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Old 4th May 2008, 01:55   #68
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Very nice going Sam!! come on now, complete the story please!!
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Old 4th May 2008, 02:07   #69
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you have all that takes to be a successful writer.
if not a full book then myabe a collection of short real life tales from you.
BTW i will like my copy personally autographed by you
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Old 4th May 2008, 02:09   #70
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Hush boys, now go to sleep...
I'll finish the story tomorrow. Promise.

Good night.
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Old 4th May 2008, 09:37   #71
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Nice story Sam - This is turning out to be like a Saas Bahu Saga . Bas abhi thodi der mein Climax ( A liitle while more and the climax is there )

Come on !!! Finish it off !!!
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Old 4th May 2008, 10:28   #72
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Just because you got bit by scorpions in '99, doesnt mean that we couldnt hear the whole story. Its been over 4 days :(

Last edited by Technocrat : 5th May 2008 at 12:53. Reason: Avoid using abusive words even casually.
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Old 4th May 2008, 10:35   #73
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Originally Posted by vkochar View Post
Nice story Sam - This is turning out to be like a Saas Bahu Saga . Bas abhi thodi der mein Climax ( A liitle while more and the climax is there )

Come on !!! Finish it off !!!
Now that you said that - it suddenly hit me !!

Like in the saas-bahu serials, every movement happens 3 times - even Sam was bitten 3 times !!

Amazing !
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Old 4th May 2008, 10:38   #74
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Just wondering, I was under the impression that normal scorpion poison was not strong enough to kill an adult. Is the Rajastan scorpion is of a different kind?
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Old 4th May 2008, 11:02   #75
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Just wondering, I was under the impression that normal scorpion poison was not strong enough to kill an adult. Is the Rajastan scorpion is of a different kind?
That is what was my impression too. But may be Sam did not know that or a Rajasthani scorpion biting a half (or is it a quarter?) Rajasthani is very lethal. So he just assumed that he was going to die - and of course all the frantic actions of others around him made that belief even stronger. Btw, no mention at all about what your gf did in all these. Did she pass out in the dessert and you left her there?

Sam did you get your power to recollect everything during your travels at a much later time, from these scorpion stings? They rewired your brain cells in some way?
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