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Old 20th June 2008, 13:41   #166
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Originally Posted by Sam Kapasi View Post
I get naked as is expected and the diminutive man brings me my little thing/thong.
Picture of the year Sam. Please post it. Sam in shorts in something but Sam in thongs is not easy to imagine.

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Twice I fall asleep and I am woken up twice by the sound of my own snoring! How very embarrassing.
ROFL.

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Me, I prefer not to utter a word during my massage, except for the occasional pleasurable grunt or groan. The diminutive man says nothing, when I look at him he is deeply focused on my body.


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He massages my belly. I suddenly feel the urge to express myself gaseously from the hinterlands.
ROFL Sam. It only rained in Goa till this moment. Now the thunderstorm takes over.

Last edited by n_aditya : 20th June 2008 at 13:42.
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Old 20th June 2008, 13:44   #167
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Twice I fall asleep and I am woken up twice by the sound of my own snoring! How very embarrassing.
he he he he

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He massages my belly. I suddenly feel the urge to express myself gaseously from the hinterlands.

Oh Lord have mercy, now what?
U sure know how to make people ROFLAO !! I am eagerly waiting for the next part!! Cheers!
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Old 20th June 2008, 13:46   #168
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He massages my belly. I suddenly feel the urge to express myself gaseously from the hinterlands.

Oh Lord have mercy, now what?

To be continued.
Sam you are a riot man. Keep the story going am enjoying every line in this travelogue. My wifey has been in spilts since reading that line.
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Old 20th June 2008, 14:24   #169
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all i can say it mallu's rock!! and yeti dear, oh dear oh dear.
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Old 20th June 2008, 14:33   #170
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I do that too - all the time.
I noticed lol!!!

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I cannot describe Jenny’s experience as she was in another room with the lady....
Well, here comes the unfair part! While Sam said that he had just received the best massage in his life ever, I could not say this was the case for me. So anybody who ever wants to go there - I guess it is highly recommendable from Sam's side but not from mine for the ladies!

Though the girl who massaged me was very nice, it seemed to me that she was no professional. Head and face massage were great but for the rest of the body she was rather rough so that sometimes I had to suppress a big OUCH; and her hands were also not really soft.

The other problem I encountered was communication. She hardly spoke a word of English, speaking only in her own language with a few words of English or Hindi in between. Normally I am just like Sam, I don't like to talk at all while being massaged. I prefer to be able to just relax and enjoy. But this lady just wouldn't stop. In a funny mix of words and sign language she would hold long monologues, asking me thousands of questions - a process that was painful for me as it took forever to understand what she wanted.

For example, she would talk and talk and from the tone I heard she was asking something. I would stare at her, shrug my shoulders, not knowing what to say, as I had no clue what she was saying. Then she would repeat blablablabla... pani.... blablablabla.... Aaaah, wait - pani! That means water, I know that! So I would repeat pani? signalling I understood something and she would imitate with her hands the rain coming from the sky
blablablabla... pani Goa... June, July, August... blablablabla... me Kerala.... blablablabla... Germany?
Ja ja, raining heavily, I know. Not so nice. No, not raining in Germany now...
Pani no Germany?
No, no pani in Germany - only sun now.
Aaaaah! Hmmmm... (long break trying to find words) Father Germany?
Ja ja, father in Germany
Mother Germany?
Ja, mother also in Germany
You Germany?
Yes, I am going back.
Hmmmm... (long break again trying to find words) blablablablabla.... Plane Germany?
Yes, on a plane back to Germany!
Goa - Germany?
No no, we leave to Mumbai first on Monday.
Oooooh.... Goa Mumbai shhhhhh (imitating the take-off of a plane with her hands, giggling heavily all the time)
Ja ja....
And then she would change the topic again, leaving me with the difficult task to find out first what she was talking about lol. We had chats about my family, her family, the weather, Goa and God knows what! It must have been hilarious to watch us, me naked in front of her on this bench trying to understand what she means while she wass bending over me hectically gesticulating with her hands in the air.

And then yes, she made me repeat all kinds of words in her language lol, giggling like crazy when I repeated them - until finally I decided to close my eyes, signalling her to go on with the massage that she stopped for this entire time.

So that was my experience

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Absolutely lambuji.
What is lambuji?

Last edited by Jaggu : 20th June 2008 at 18:20.
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Old 20th June 2008, 14:38   #171
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lambuji = tall man, slang in hindi
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Old 20th June 2008, 15:00   #172
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He taps me gently, I turn over.

He massages my belly. I suddenly feel the urge to express myself gaseously from the hinterlands.

Oh Lord have mercy, now what?

To be continued.
Let me guess, You waited for the next thunderstorm and tried to Synch up so that noone heard.
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Old 20th June 2008, 15:02   #173
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[quote= sky
[I]blablablabla... pani Goa... June, July, August... blablablabla... me Kerala.... blablablabla...[/i] Germany?
Ja ja, raining heavily, I know. Not so nice. No, not raining in Germany]

in this post, theone has made good comback in this travelogue. keep it up.
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Old 20th June 2008, 16:46   #174
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lambuji = tall man, slang in hindi

Jags, Please don't pull me into this. Let it be lambu only and no Jiiiis please.
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Old 20th June 2008, 19:52   #175
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Default YetiBlog® - Flatulence Ahoy!

He's vigorously massaging my belly and he just won't stop.

I cannot let go right now, how very embarrassing. What if it's really a stinky one and he passes out on my belly. Imagine how he would look with his long oily locks lying down on my abdomen, while I have a thong on.

No, I must be strong. All sleep forgotten, I tighten my stomach muscles and clench my Gluteus Maxima.
M U S T - N O T - L E T - G O!!

Uhh hmppphhhh hmmmphhhh. He's massaging and I am taut, every muscle of my being is alert. I cannot breathe anymore.
If I breathe, my rectum will want to exhale too and then oily diminutive man will not be able to inhale. Damn prawns with onions and feni with sprite too! I can't tolerate my own breath, I shudder to think what the flatulence will be like.

WATER!!
huh?
WATER, I need water. Just now I need water.
uhh.. OK?
NOW!
He leaves the room quickly.

I let loose immediately.

He's back.
Don't drink too much, only one sip just now he says, wrinkling up his nose in a suspicious manner. I can see his mind thinking "What the hell is that smell?"

The massage continues. Strangely, the promised 1.5 hour massage has crossed well over 2 hours and it's already dark outside now.
Shiva insists we try the herbal steam bath.

The steam contraption is in jenny's room, not mine. It is extra charge for the steambath OK? But we put herbs and lemongrass and..

I nod.

I send your wife for steambath first OK? Till then you massage.

I nod my yes.

Shiva quickly fires out some orders in Malayalam to diminutive, obviously telling him to extend my massage. He nods and continues. I am happy, relaxed and fart-free.

You have given me a very very good massage.
I am 6 years in massage hospital training.
6 years??
Yes. Massage hospital. All sickness massage become OK.
That's fantastic.
I believe him.This is truly the best Ayurvedic massage I have ever had.

The massage continues.

Last edited by Sam Kapasi : 20th June 2008 at 20:09.
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Old 20th June 2008, 20:13   #176
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This is absolutely hilarious!

Oh boy! I still cant stop laughing...
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Old 20th June 2008, 20:32   #177
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By the way its 'Gluteus Maximus', not Maxima . Maxima is a car from Nissan.

Last edited by straight6 : 20th June 2008 at 20:33.
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Old 20th June 2008, 20:37   #178
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By the way its 'Gluteus Maximus', not Maxima . Maxima is a car from Nissan.
They should make a car called Gluteus.

lol straight, I know. I was using an incorrect plural on purpose, a common mistake.
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Old 20th June 2008, 20:41   #179
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They should make a car called Gluteus.

lol straight, I know. I was using an incorrect plural on purpose, a common mistake.
Ah, then I'm sorry. I was wondering how you screwed up there.
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Old 21st June 2008, 03:33   #180
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L O L Sam.

Your last two story posts were howlarious!! Im sitting here laughing my guts out and the guy i work with is staring at me like i am mentally damaged.
I tried to explain that im ready a story about a guy who is getting a massage and wants to fart - that didnt help much

Jenny, its too bad you didnt enjoy your massage as much. Maybe you should have just pretended to fall asleep and even snored a little for effect. lol

Keep it coming guys!
cya
R
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