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Old 13th August 2009, 17:23   #331
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Default Day Seven: Fort Cochin

We reach the Massage centre and I begin to speak to the rather portly man at the counter.

The time is 4.15. The Kathakali make-up begins at 5, I'd like to be at the Kathakali academy there by 5.30.

They hand us a brochure with the various treatments and their costs. Jenny asks some interesting questions and the "so-called" man-in-charge gives her fairly vague answers.

I'm all charged. No feni in my system, nothing heavy eaten so far, no worries of any gas disasters (those that follow my blogs will nod and smile at this point)

We part ways, TheOne® and I. I am led into a small rather dark room. What strikes me about this place is that is is more basic than the most basic massage places I have been too. More annoyingly, it is not clean.

Still, let's see what happens.

Now comes the strange part. Portly from the counter is going to massage me himself.

Even though I have been for many massages, I still wait, I always wait, clad in my undies until someone says all off before I get all birthday-suited.

I wait for the little thong to come. It never does. Instead we are joined by another rather robust man. I tremble slightly as the cold air hits my usually covered parts.
Usually I have been massaged by some very thin or scrawnily built men. These two look bloody scary.

It's strange when I find someone large, robust or portly. Usually I am the largest man I can see. Both these men are definitely a size smaller than I and yet I find them imposing. In their pink mundus, no shirt they stand and size me up.
It's not a nice feeling. To be strange, to be naked as two rather large non-naked men size you up as they talk to each other in Malayalam.

Sit here, says Portly. I clamber up on the wooden canoe that I usually see in all the Kerala massage places.
What's your name? asks Robust
Sam.
I am also Sam.
You?
Yes my name is Sam and this is George.


Portly George shows little or no interest. He is busy setting fire to a small rubber hose that is connect to a gas cylinder. I stare at him. Honest-to-goodness there is no stove, no valve nothing.
He is controlling the amount of gas coming out from the LPG cooking cylinder using the tap-valve on the cylinder that goes to a sawed-off rubber hose pipe that is, well.. on fire.

With this portable flame thrower, portly george is trying to heat up a metal bowl of coconut oil. Of course he is holding the metal bowl making it difficult for him to heat up the oil without making, literally, finger-chips.

Robust Sam grins and continues talking.
Where you from?
Bombay
say I, not for a minute taking my eyes off the burning-rubber-hose-attached-to-LPG-cylinder-in-hands-of-portly-george.
Indiana?
No, India.
That only I saida. You are Indiana?
Oh yeah, Indian.


Robust Sam says something to Portly George, telling him in Malayalam that I'm from Bombay. Portly George smiles and nods.

The hose is still on fire.

Last edited by Sam Kapasi : 13th August 2009 at 17:30.
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Old 13th August 2009, 17:29   #332
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Quote:
Originally Posted by anekho View Post
haha... too much

this thread is awesome!

@pypkmsrikanth: Do these kiddie ready made mundu's come in adult sizes too?
I only saw the regular mundus' for adult sizes, since I wear one comfortably did not ask the shop guy if he had ready made mundus' for adults. May be next time around I will check this out as well.
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Old 13th August 2009, 17:57   #333
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Originally Posted by pypkmsrikanth View Post
I only saw the regular mundus' for adult sizes, since I wear one comfortably did not ask the shop guy if he had ready made mundus' for adults. May be next time around I will check this out as well.
Mundu topic on hold for the time being. The Yeti is back. Curious to know how TheOne reacted after watching kathakali.

Wo bist du Sam, Wir warten hier. Ich finde ihre post sehr interessant.

Pardon my poor german.

Ich lerne deutsch weil mein firma das will. Ich habe keine deutsche sprechen freunde.
Hence I will bother you with the little bit of german i know.

Last edited by zteg : 13th August 2009 at 18:00.
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Old 13th August 2009, 19:34   #334
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I think the masseurs were Kalari Trained?Hence the heavy body

PS:I meant Kalaripayyatt and it's own healing system called marma chikitsa.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sam Kapasi
Robust Sam grins and continues talking.
Where you from?
Bombay
say I, not for a minute taking my eyes off the burning-rubber-hose-attached-to-LPG-cylinder-in-hands-of-portly-george.
Indiana?
No, India.
That only I saida. You are Indiana?
Oh yeah, Indian.
Normally In Malayalam it is asked "India-kkaran" .this seems different.

Last edited by deepclutch : 13th August 2009 at 19:39.
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Old 13th August 2009, 19:36   #335
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sam Kapasi View Post
Robust Sam grins and continues talking.
Where you from?
Bombay
say I, not for a minute taking my eyes off the burning-rubber-hose-attached-to-LPG-cylinder-in-hands-of-portly-george.
Indiana?
No, India.
That only I saida. You are Indiana?
Oh yeah, Indian.
literally ROFLMAO, SAM, this is awsome.
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Old 13th August 2009, 21:36   #336
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Quote:
Originally Posted by zteg View Post
Quote:
...a novice can actually wear one without displaying his gonads...
Wow,now thats something new to me. just checked online for the meaning.
zteg discovers gonads!
Quote:
Originally Posted by WhiteKnight View Post
You missed the connection. We are talking about how Mundu in the hands of a novice could reveal locations of natural beauty
The Kerala garment that looks like a sari is actually a two-part dress, of which the lower part also carries the name Mundi, so I have to agree with Whitenight in theory --- but in practice, I think the ladies wear an underskirt, and they make very sure that mundu malfunctions
do not occur!

Last edited by Thad E Ginathom : 13th August 2009 at 21:40.
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Old 13th August 2009, 21:44   #337
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Originally Posted by pjay_in View Post
Yeah, just what I suspected it would be.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Thad E Ginathom View Post
zteg discovers gonads!
Hey TEG, its not me alone. I got company
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Old 14th August 2009, 00:13   #338
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Shhhhhh! Let's do the mundu talk when we get a longer break! Now the Yeti is lying on a wooden canoe, without one.. and two burly masseurs getting ready for the action.

And don't even talk about gonads now! Just not an appropriate time.

So we are all ears.. what happened next?

Last edited by pjay_in : 14th August 2009 at 00:25.
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Old 14th August 2009, 07:22   #339
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Sam whata nexta?..
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Old 14th August 2009, 14:58   #340
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He switches the cylinder tap off and places the hot container of oil next to me in the canoe.

Portly George and Robust Sam start massging me in sync. I am not surprised at that fact. I have experienced dual-abhyangam before.

What does surprise me is that God has blessed Portly George with sandpaper on his palms. Did I come here looking for a half-body scrub? To watch my dead and living tissue be mercilessly ripped from half my body under the guise of a massage?

No, I say. But how does a naked man open his eyes and look another man in a mini-skirt and tell him that his hands are too rough for him.

There is no acceptable way of performing this act. I wince and think for a minute.


If his hands are rough, he is not a masseur. The logic of having a coconut based ayurvedic oil over your palms on a daily basis leads to the assumption that your palms will be soft and supple.

I'm being conned.

Lie down says Portly.
I lie down.
The massage continues.

I do not know how many of you have experienced a Synchronized Abhyangam massage, but if the duo that massage you are in Sync (which they usually are, due to the constant training and practice) - the pressure they apply is identical and the movements are well practised.
With your eyes closed you feel that there is a single entity floating over your body massaging both the left and right sides of your body in perfect harmony.

In my case, I am being massaged decently on my right. On my left I am slowly being grated like cheese.


The massage continues...

Last edited by Sam Kapasi : 14th August 2009 at 15:00.
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Old 14th August 2009, 14:59   #341
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sam Kapasi View Post
No, India.
That only I saida. You are Indiana?
Oh yeah, Indian.
Robust Sam says something to Portly George, telling him in Malayalam that I'm from Bombay. Portly George smiles and nods.
That was too good a part to read and put the scene into imagination.
The way you name people, its just authentic like a short story or novel.
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Old 14th August 2009, 16:10   #342
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ha ha ha I am really looking forward to the next post on "Massage of the Yeti"
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Old 14th August 2009, 16:17   #343
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haha awesome Sam! can't wait for the rest!

cheers
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Old 14th August 2009, 16:35   #344
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Originally Posted by Sam Kapasi View Post
I'm all charged. No feni in my system, nothing heavy eaten so far, no worries of any gas disasters (those that follow my blogs will nod and smile at this point)
hmm. This explains bad pollution levels in Goa whereas Kerala is green and clean.
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Old 14th August 2009, 16:39   #345
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sam Kapasi View Post
I'm all charged. No feni in my system, nothing heavy eaten so far, no worries of any gas disasters
It seems that prawns in Kerala are fresh than Goa.

First post on this thread dated 23 july 2008....err...2009 and today is 14th aug 2010....err...2009.

Last edited by ASHISHPALLOD : 14th August 2009 at 16:48.
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