YetiBlog® - Krash Kourse Kerala!

[Sam Kapasi]

It all started with work.

Contrary to what most of you think, The Yeti® does indeed work! It was a tri-city conference in Kerala, a dealer meet and presentation. I had a day in between each conference and had decided to take another couple of days later, to experience Kerala.

TheOne® unfortunately was in Germany for family affairs and wasn't 100% sure of returning in time for the holiday. In fact we even wondered if it made any sense at all, since I was going mainly for work.

The decision tilted in favour of the little holiday and what ensued was a close encounter with one of the most beautiful states in India.

I hope you enjoy my story.

Cheers,
Sam

[Torqy]

Eagerly waiting to see what you'll write about us mallus. God's own countrymen!

[Sam Kapasi]

Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to Nedumbassery Airport. No don't worry, we are actually there, even though it's raining so damn heavily that you won't know if you're coming or going.

The stewardess might as well say that. It's pouring mercilessly here. I shake my head. I wonder if it was a good idea to call her here after all. I look around for my colleagues and business partners.

Kingfisher Red's flight to Cochin at 7 in the morning is overbooked. We are 5 people and are sitting in 3 clusters. I am alone.

Near the baggage belt I read this sign twice. Am I still not fully awake, or is this sign supposed to confuse me?



Outside, the welcoming party awaits us. We're going to stay at Dream, the new hotel in Ernakulam. The event will be in the banquet hall this evening.
The drive is difficult. The traffic is blaring, the rain is strong. Ernakulam is a busy place.

Soon we've checked in.

[kb100]

This will be interesting - a lil more than usual!

[jithudigitised]

Will be waiting for the TVM part.heee hoooo.

So how was your train journey and aleppy stay ?

[Sam Kapasi]

To say that this Hotel surprises me would an understatement. I've been told by the locals that there are massive lights on the outer facade that change colour.
The lobby, or lack of it, contains 4 bright silver elephants with large crystal balls hanging over them that change colour. Everything is predominantly white.

It's a bit kitschy, a bit cool. I cannot make up my mind.

I get my room key and reach up before the bags, but soon find out that the room is still being maintained. There's a WIP sign on the door and while there's no one in the room, there are screwdrivers and pliers on the dressing table.
I call the reception and complain.

15 minutes later, I've been upgraded to a suite.

The room is definitely garish. I cannot handle the blue lights and LEDs everywhere. The carpet gives me a headache. It's like a 70's opium den, this room.






After a little while, Ashvin comes by to the room and we chat for a while.
No I don't really have a lot to do now. OK let's go to the restaurant for a while then.




Ashvin really does know everyone, even the staff.

Mmmm, the staff look really good they do. The uniforms are smart, the guys are good-looking, the ladies are very pretty. The Hotel has no service elevator and everytime I go down I am accompanied by 2 or more smiling staff and a lot of suitcases.
Lots of interesting restaurants including a very promising looking thai restaurant...

Sawadee Khap!

All looks pretty modern and in many ways reminds me of The Park. But The Park doesn't smell of bleach everywhere.
The banquet hall is unimpressive. I am in shock when I realise that the seating arrangement is like a press conference.

The Yeti is used to fun, games and dancing girls. This seems all too serious.

[Abbas]

mere hisaab se room sahi hai bidu. keep it coming, long time haven`t heard from you.

[Sam Kapasi]

Everyone is in.

The formalities begin. Something I am totally not used to. What I'm less used to is the jacket and pants on me.
The conference goes well. Kind of.

I manage to get a few snickers out of the unusually dead audience. Of course I know, as well as they do, that the life will only creep in when refreshments are served.
Soon, it's party time and the entertainment is out.






Dinner is served. There is complete disregard for cutlery. I'm in the queue for the buffet. In front of me is a dealer who is about to serve himself some rice.

He serves himself a big spoon (shaped like a spade) of rice.

I make the motion to be next. He hasn't moved yet.

He serves himself another. Reflexively I am not looking at his plate because that would be bad manners. Somehow.

He serves himself a third spoonful. Man this guy likes his rice.

When he places the fourth into his plate, I give up all pretensions and look straight into his plate. No more corner-of-the-eye business anymore. This is hardcore.

Number 5 is swift. The rice settles down a little as his hand moves slighty. Still, the mountain is forming steadily.

He can't possibly...no?

Six. The mound of rice is now as high as it is in diameter. I see no place for any of the other food. He's got to move on now.
He sticks the spade into the rice and hesitates.
Aha, my pupils open slightly as I prepare to serve myself...

I see the ah, what-the-heck gear turn in his head and he does a seventh, before he moves on to the fish.
I quickly serve myself and look around.



Everywhere I see mountains of rice bobbing up and down on plates. What is weirdest is that I hear none of the familiar chink-chink of forks, spoons and knives.

This is really hardcore.

Meanwhile the music has gotten louder and I see a lot of men dancing with each other.

This is going to be a fun night.

[Thad E Ginathom]

Surely you've encountered the Normal Southern Indian Appetite before?

Wandered into one of those "hotels" with a "Meals Ready" sign outside --- and marvelled at the multiple mountains of rice that those stomachs can deal with?

It amazes me, every time!

I'm a bit worried about those silver elephants with large crystal balls...

Looking forward to enjoying your trip!

[vivekiny2k]

Originally Posted by Thad E Ginathom

I'm a bit worried about those silver elephants with large crystal balls...

LOL thad, you had to say that.

god's own country as seen from yeti's eyes, wonderful.

[tortoiseNhare]

Good to see the Yeti blogging. Warming up for more. Dhan Te Nan Tana Tana

[condor]

Sam Kapasi : Contrary to what most of you think, The Yeti® does indeed work! It was a tri-city conference in Kerala, a dealer meet and presentation.

I had a day in between each conference and had decided to take another couple of days later, to experience Kerala.

1. A conference is not work
2. A day in between each conference is still not work

So the Yeti did not work.

Sam Kapasi : It's like a 70's opium den, this room.

Psychedelic !

Sam Kapasi : What is weirdest is that I hear none of the familiar chink-chink of forks, spoons and knives..

Sam, your Krash Kourse Is Not Komplete until you finish one such mountain of rice (& fish curry). Pls do this before you finish the trip. The travelogue will not be complete till then.

Sam Kapasi : This is really hardcore.
Sam Kapasi : Meanwhile the music has gotten louder and I see a lot of men dancing with each other.

This is going to be a fun night.

Lol. People saying good-bye to Article 377 ?

[Sam Kapasi]

The DJ is good. He is playing a backing beat and a portly percussionist is doing a great job of playing assorted drums and percussions.
They play everything from Bryan Adams to The Chemical Brothers (!) to Bollywood and Malayalam music.

They are definitely good and the crowd loves them and many men are dancing rather aggressively. Ah well, the idea is to have a good time.
The electricity fails very often here, leading to a 30 second black-out before the generator power kicks in.
Because of our event, the hotel has arranged to be on generator power for 3 hours. However we began late and so now, during the party, every 15 or 20 minutes, there is a 30 second black-out.

WHEEE!!
HAAAHAAAAA!!

Regardless of age, grown men can behave like silly little boys at the drop of a hat.

I walk towards the door.

Hella!
I turn, Hi!
Where you fram?
Bombay, I shrug.
You living Bombay?
Yes.
OK. His eyes look a little glazed.
You enjoy DJ music?
Yes I say before nodding and moving on quickly. Somehow I get the feeling that he was about to ask me to dance with him.

Dinner was excellent and I'm tired. I excuse myself. Upstairs my colleagues have decided to move to some other Hotel, preferably the Taj Malabar.
Me, I don't care, say I. My event is over, I'll just move wherever you move.

Besides, Ashvin and I have decided to go for an early (ish?) breakfast to Kashi Art Cafe at Fort Cochin. I don't want to sleep too late.

[Sam Kapasi]

I'm up early. By 7.30.
My day today is a bonus. All dealer visits have been out off due to some internal meetings of the rest of my colleagues. In short, I have nothing to do all day.
Ashvin calls. Ready bro?
I nod so hard, the mobile falls to the ground.

Ashvin picks me up in the next 30 minutes. He is in Steeroid's Safari. I check out of the hotel and place my stuff in the Safari and we're off. We both agree that the day is to be spent doing, well, nothing.
I know that is the best way to absorb the calm and atmosphere in Fort Cochin.

We drive straight across 2 bridges into this beautiful little Chinese/Dutch/Portuguese/Jew influenced island town that time completely forgot.
Old houses, all mostly hotels, lots of touristy shops, a general pleasant and quiet atmosphere exists everywhere. Truly beautiful and peaceful.

I take a few pictures from the car. God how lovely.













We park. I step out of the Safari and I hear a PLOP. My Blackberry has fallen out of my lap and...

Straight into a 4 inch puddle of water. I yell loudly in shock and pick up the wet Blackberry from the puddle of water. It is dripping water as I pick it up.
I quickly get the phone out of the leather holster and pull the battery out. I shake it around as hard as I can and turn the heater of the Safaru up and stick the phone as close as I can to the heater.

Fingers are burning but all that be damned. Ashvin sits patiently in the drivers seat as I do my Fandango for a good 15 or 20 minutes. I'm completely flustered and praying that the phone does not give up on me. Through the display screen I can see some water.

This is not looking good.

[abhinav.gupta88]

Yeti Blog: Check
Popcorns and Pepsi: Check.
Going to be a good day. Waiting for the rest of the Blog Sam.