Sam's take on "pimpin" your ride.

Sam Kapasi · 26th April 2007, 17:53

This is a funny thread. And a funny thing to imagine. There goes my imagination.

Person: Hello, I'd like a loan

Banker: of course Sir, That's what ConBank is here for. We at ConBank take great pride in loaning people money for various purposes and charging them ridiculous interests on everything.
How much do you need and for what purpose.

Person: I'd like to uh.. Pimp my car.

Banker: *Stares blankly* sorry?

Person: I'd like to pimp my car.

Banker: (After careful deliberation and reasoning with himself) You wish to buy a car and hire it out for short periods in return for money. Like a Taxi. So you need to buy a car. And you'd like to hypothecate it to us. Right?

Person: No, I already have a car.

Banker: Uh huh. So what do you need a loan for? Another car?

Person: No I have a car already, I need money to Pimp it.

Banker: Why should we give you money to uhh "Pimp" your car???

Person: Because it's my car and I need money to pimp it.

Banker: How much money would you like?

Person: About a lakh.

Banker: A Lakh!! For how long will you be uhh.. "Pimping" your car and will you get any customers for it? Is this a lucrative business?

Person: No you don't get it. I want to pimp my car, because it makes me look good.

Banker: You want to pimp your vehicle and that makes you look good. (Nodding gravely).

I can actually go on with this for a while. let me know if you'd like that.

moralfibre · 26th April 2007, 17:56

God help this thread!! Sam that was hilarious

low_bass_makker · 26th April 2007, 17:58

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sam Kapasi

I can actually go on with this for a while. let me know if you'd like that.

Ya sure Please continue..............

Lukeskywalker · 26th April 2007, 18:04

Great imagination Sam, go on, I can almost picture the scene

iraghava · 26th April 2007, 18:05

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sam Kapasi

I can actually go on with this for a while. let me know if you'd like that.

Yes, please!! We would really like that!

Sam Kapasi · 26th April 2007, 18:05

Hush hush boys, please behave yourself let's not carry this thread on in a bad way.

Please read and enjoy, but let's not get this thread bina baat ke into trouble. Let us maintain proper decorum and stick to the topic at hand. About Pimping on borrowed money.

Now to come all over the topic again.

Umm.. abhibh IMO it's a terrible idea. Pimping is a luxury, not a necessity. And to borrow money on interest for pimping is something I would not do. But that's me.

Technocrat · 26th April 2007, 18:21

Sam pleej Pleej pimp this thread may be in shifting gears but Pleej

payam · 26th April 2007, 18:27

that was funny sam,but dont think there is any loan for pimping a car ,he must be thinking of getting some existed loan and spend it in that way which is still crazy.

Sam Kapasi · 27th April 2007, 11:47

As is the trend of movies nowadays, we have to now write a prequel.

Before the bank, there was the Dad.

Dad: Here you go, person-boy, here's a lovely brand new shiny car for you.

Person-boy: Wow Dad!! My own car!! It's brand new and shiny!! How do I ever thank you.

Dad: Just drive carefully Son and always be careful.

Person-boy: I will Dad, I will. I'm off for a drive. yay.

(A week later)

Person-Boy: Dad, I need money.

Dad: Have you got a girl in trouble?

Person-Boy: No, of course not dad!! I need to money to uh... Pimp my car.

Dad: OK here's 500 bucks. Go the the nearest Petrol Pimp and fill 'er up. Enjoy.

Person-Boy: Huh? I don't need gasoline. I wanna P-I-M-P my car dad.

Dad: Oh pimp. You want to pimp your car. I see. What the hell is that.

Person-Boy: You won't understand.

Dad: Well, I'm not giving you any money till i understand. How much do you need? And explain this pimping thing. Is it like registration or insurance, because i already paid that to the showroom.

Person-boy (exasperated): OK look, i need money to make my car look good.

Dad: Well, what's wrong with it now? Have you bashed it against a cow?

Person-Boy: I need wheels!!

Dad: Well, how the hell did we drive the car back from the showroom? It has wheels boy!! Looks to me like you need glasses instead.

Look, you're my son and I love you. But I want the truth!!!! The truth you hear???

Person-Boy: You want the truth Dad?? YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!! (dramatic music plays)

Dad: I need to know son. Everything.

Person-Boy (After careful deliberation, deciding to tell his dad EVERYTHING):
Pa, I need to buy cool looking wheels, blingy spinners, if that makes sense to you. The wheels need to be much larger than the recommended size by the engineers. This will also void the warranty on my suspension. Since I'm buying new sized wheels, I need to buy new tyres as well. They will have to be ultra low profile. This will completely change the ride of the car, making it hard and annoying. It will be extremely noisy and uncomfortable and will probably accelerate my lumbar failure.

Apart from this if i have money left over, i will rip out the perfectly engineered suspension and replace it with an expensive kind that makes the ride harder and lowers the car to the ground, so that if I have 4 people in the car, the tyres will scrape the body and cut themselves to pieces.

I need to replace certain parts of the engine to make everyone feel like the car is going faster. This will be expensive and in most cases, unreliable. I will suffer blowouts, oil leaks, gasket and piston failures and overall, I may go faster for a few months, but will always be returning to my tuner to repair or tweak something, for the rest of the life of the car.Also it will just make the car noisier, the car will consume bucketloads of gasoline and the engine life will be halved.

I need loads of shiny lights on the car to let people know I'm coming and a LOUD audio system to accelerate deafness. This will also result in reduced battery life. I may want to replace the battery too, with one that's not suited for my car and one that may eventually destroy the alternator and the charging system in my car.

I need to put a whole lot of stickers on my car, that I'm going to be embarassed about, next year, because the decals wont be cool anymore. When I rip the stickers out, it will take out large chunks of paint as well. I may ask you for money to paint my car then.

There's more that will come along, when I visit that guy who will be pimping up my car. Every new gadget that will come out (between my drive to the pimpers from here) will result in my guy convincing me to buy it. Such as a bluetooth back massager (It massages your back, without even being around!!) or a Seat-Tronic (It tells you how close your bum is to the seat so that you may sit in peace, knowing that the seat is behind your bum). This may not result in long term happiness, but will result in greater profits for my tuner and installer.

Now can I have the money??

Dad: No. Get out of my house.

Person-Boy: I knew it!! You couldn't handle the truth. Well I'm a grown man now!! I'm off to the bank to get a personal loan. Why just the other day, I got a call from the bank. They told me that since i had recently got a job in a call centre, earning Rs. 20,000, they would be happy to give me a loan for 3 crores that I could pay back over 45 years at an interest rate of 18%!! And If I didn't have money to pay the EMI, they would give me another loan at 17% for every EMI, that I didn't have money to pay. Thats the same as earning 1% every month!! And they said that I could live off my credit card and not pay the bill, because they would give me a new card and transfer all the balance to the new card, and give me a new loan to pay that off as well.

My future is secure.

I don't need you anymore dad. I'm off to ConBank.

The End (sad music plays)

Godfather · 27th April 2007, 11:56

ROTFLMAO...

Godfather

Rtech · 27th April 2007, 12:20

Now this is an appropriate section to continue with the madness.

Sam Kapasi · 27th April 2007, 12:36

For those confused, with the abrupt beginning, here's the thread that inspired this thread.

http://www.team-bhp.com/forum/indian...mping-car.html

Thank you Rt. We all appreciate it.

Dippy · 27th April 2007, 12:39

Sam its high time you change jobs and become a movie script writer

Youre just too much.

Carry on Sam

esteem_lover · 27th April 2007, 12:40

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sam Kapasi

Person-Boy: I knew it!! You couldn't handle the truth. Well I'm a grown man now!! I'm off to the bank to get a personal loan. Why just the other day, I got a call from the bank. They told me that since i had recently got a job in a call centre, earning Rs. 20,000, they would be happy to give me a loan for 3 crores that I could pay back over 45 years at an interest rate of 18%!! And If I didn't have money to pay the EMI, they would give me another loan at 17% for every EMI, that I didn't have money to pay. Thats the same as earning 1% every month!! And they said that I could live off my credit card and not pay the bill, because they would give me a new card and transfer all the balance to the new card, and give me a new loan to pay that off as well.

My future is secure.

I don't need you anymore dad. I'm off to ConBank.

The End (sad music plays)

How significant !!! Perfect sam. Your story has the comic, tragic & melodramatic senses all covered in 200 hundred words. Perfect for one episode of 'Pimped & Dutiful'. Now please sign on the dotted line.

nik1982 · 27th April 2007, 12:42

Hilarious hahaha.. Please continue.

26th April 2007, 17:53	#1
Sam Kapasi Distinguished - BHPian Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Mumbai (but wat Posts: 6,997 Thanked: 2,378 Times View My Garage	This is a funny thread. And a funny thing to imagine. There goes my imagination. Person: Hello, I'd like a loan Banker: of course Sir, That's what ConBank is here for. We at ConBank take great pride in loaning people money for various purposes and charging them ridiculous interests on everything. How much do you need and for what purpose. Person: I'd like to uh.. Pimp my car. Banker: Stares blankly sorry? Person: I'd like to pimp my car. Banker: (After careful deliberation and reasoning with himself) You wish to buy a car and hire it out for short periods in return for money. Like a Taxi. So you need to buy a car. And you'd like to hypothecate it to us. Right? Person: No, I already have a car. Banker: Uh huh. So what do you need a loan for? Another car? Person: No I have a car already, I need money to Pimp it. Banker: Why should we give you money to uhh "Pimp" your car??? Person: Because it's my car and I need money to pimp it. Banker: How much money would you like? Person: About a lakh. Banker: A Lakh!! For how long will you be uhh.. "Pimping" your car and will you get any customers for it? Is this a lucrative business? Person: No you don't get it. I want to pimp my car, because it makes me look good. Banker: You want to pimp your vehicle and that makes you look good. (Nodding gravely). I can actually go on with this for a while. let me know if you'd like that. Last edited by Sam Kapasi : 26th April 2007 at 17:56.
	() Thanks

26th April 2007, 17:56	#2
moralfibre Team-BHP Support Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: MH-12 Posts: 8,451 Thanked: 13,971 Times	God help this thread!! Sam that was hilarious
	() Thanks

26th April 2007, 18:04	#4
Lukeskywalker Senior - BHPian Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Bangalore Posts: 1,397 Thanked: 1,243 Times View My Garage	Great imagination Sam, go on, I can almost picture the scene
	() Thanks

26th April 2007, 18:05	#6
Sam Kapasi Distinguished - BHPian Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Mumbai (but wat Posts: 6,997 Thanked: 2,378 Times View My Garage	Hush hush boys, please behave yourself let's not carry this thread on in a bad way. Please read and enjoy, but let's not get this thread bina baat ke into trouble. Let us maintain proper decorum and stick to the topic at hand. About Pimping on borrowed money. Now to come all over the topic again. Umm.. abhibh IMO it's a terrible idea. Pimping is a luxury, not a necessity. And to borrow money on interest for pimping is something I would not do. But that's me. Last edited by Sam Kapasi : 26th April 2007 at 18:07.
	() Thanks

26th April 2007, 18:21	#7
Technocrat Senior - BHPian Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: GTA Posts: 14,813 Thanked: 2,700 Times	Sam pleej Pleej pimp this thread may be in shifting gears but Pleej
	() Thanks

26th April 2007, 18:27	#8
payam BHPian Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: pune Posts: 924 Thanked: 2 Times View My Garage	that was funny sam,but dont think there is any loan for pimping a car ,he must be thinking of getting some existed loan and spend it in that way which is still crazy.
	() Thanks

27th April 2007, 11:47	#9
Sam Kapasi Distinguished - BHPian Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Mumbai (but wat Posts: 6,997 Thanked: 2,378 Times View My Garage	Prequel: As is the trend of movies nowadays, we have to now write a prequel. Before the bank, there was the Dad. Dad: Here you go, person-boy, here's a lovely brand new shiny car for you. Person-boy: Wow Dad!! My own car!! It's brand new and shiny!! How do I ever thank you. Dad: Just drive carefully Son and always be careful. Person-boy: I will Dad, I will. I'm off for a drive. yay. (A week later) Person-Boy: Dad, I need money. Dad: Have you got a girl in trouble? Person-Boy: No, of course not dad!! I need to money to uh... Pimp my car. Dad: OK here's 500 bucks. Go the the nearest Petrol Pimp and fill 'er up. Enjoy. Person-Boy: Huh? I don't need gasoline. I wanna P-I-M-P my car dad. Dad: Oh pimp. You want to pimp your car. I see. What the hell is that. Person-Boy: You won't understand. Dad: Well, I'm not giving you any money till i understand. How much do you need? And explain this pimping thing. Is it like registration or insurance, because i already paid that to the showroom. Person-boy (exasperated): OK look, i need money to make my car look good. Dad: Well, what's wrong with it now? Have you bashed it against a cow? Person-Boy: I need wheels!! Dad: Well, how the hell did we drive the car back from the showroom? It has wheels boy!! Looks to me like you need glasses instead. Look, you're my son and I love you. But I want the truth!!!! The truth you hear??? Person-Boy: You want the truth Dad?? YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!! (dramatic music plays) Dad: I need to know son. Everything. Person-Boy (After careful deliberation, deciding to tell his dad EVERYTHING): Pa, I need to buy cool looking wheels, blingy spinners, if that makes sense to you. The wheels need to be much larger than the recommended size by the engineers. This will also void the warranty on my suspension. Since I'm buying new sized wheels, I need to buy new tyres as well. They will have to be ultra low profile. This will completely change the ride of the car, making it hard and annoying. It will be extremely noisy and uncomfortable and will probably accelerate my lumbar failure. Apart from this if i have money left over, i will rip out the perfectly engineered suspension and replace it with an expensive kind that makes the ride harder and lowers the car to the ground, so that if I have 4 people in the car, the tyres will scrape the body and cut themselves to pieces. I need to replace certain parts of the engine to make everyone feel like the car is going faster. This will be expensive and in most cases, unreliable. I will suffer blowouts, oil leaks, gasket and piston failures and overall, I may go faster for a few months, but will always be returning to my tuner to repair or tweak something, for the rest of the life of the car.Also it will just make the car noisier, the car will consume bucketloads of gasoline and the engine life will be halved. I need loads of shiny lights on the car to let people know I'm coming and a LOUD audio system to accelerate deafness. This will also result in reduced battery life. I may want to replace the battery too, with one that's not suited for my car and one that may eventually destroy the alternator and the charging system in my car. I need to put a whole lot of stickers on my car, that I'm going to be embarassed about, next year, because the decals wont be cool anymore. When I rip the stickers out, it will take out large chunks of paint as well. I may ask you for money to paint my car then. There's more that will come along, when I visit that guy who will be pimping up my car. Every new gadget that will come out (between my drive to the pimpers from here) will result in my guy convincing me to buy it. Such as a bluetooth back massager (It massages your back, without even being around!!) or a Seat-Tronic (It tells you how close your bum is to the seat so that you may sit in peace, knowing that the seat is behind your bum). This may not result in long term happiness, but will result in greater profits for my tuner and installer. Now can I have the money?? Dad: No. Get out of my house. Person-Boy: I knew it!! You couldn't handle the truth. Well I'm a grown man now!! I'm off to the bank to get a personal loan. Why just the other day, I got a call from the bank. They told me that since i had recently got a job in a call centre, earning Rs. 20,000, they would be happy to give me a loan for 3 crores that I could pay back over 45 years at an interest rate of 18%!! And If I didn't have money to pay the EMI, they would give me another loan at 17% for every EMI, that I didn't have money to pay. Thats the same as earning 1% every month!! And they said that I could live off my credit card and not pay the bill, because they would give me a new card and transfer all the balance to the new card, and give me a new loan to pay that off as well. My future is secure. I don't need you anymore dad. I'm off to ConBank. The End (sad music plays)
	() Thanks

27th April 2007, 11:56	#10
Godfather Senior - BHPian Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Bangalore / Atlanta Posts: 1,387 Thanked: 70 Times View My Garage	ROTFLMAO... Godfather
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27th April 2007, 12:20	#11
Rtech Team-BHP Support Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Bombay Posts: 5,770 Thanked: 359 Times View My Garage	Now this is an appropriate section to continue with the madness.
	() Thanks

27th April 2007, 12:36	#12
Sam Kapasi Distinguished - BHPian Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Mumbai (but wat Posts: 6,997 Thanked: 2,378 Times View My Garage	For those confused, with the abrupt beginning, here's the thread that inspired this thread. http://www.team-bhp.com/forum/indian...mping-car.html Thank you Rt. We all appreciate it.
	() Thanks

27th April 2007, 12:39	#13
Dippy Senior - BHPian Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Mumbai, India Posts: 7,558 Thanked: 2,462 Times	Sam its high time you change jobs and become a movie script writer Youre just too much. Carry on Sam
	() Thanks

27th April 2007, 12:42	#15
nik1982 BHPian Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: MUMBAI Posts: 90 Thanked: 2 Times	Hilarious hahaha.. Please continue.
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