The Official Joke thread

theMAG · 25th April 2007, 17:21

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mr.Bangalore

check out the following video..

wheeling at its best...

cheers

Very hilarious! Not the only entertaining sight there though. Much obliged if fine print can be mentioned for purposes of office viewing.

ghostrider4385 · 25th April 2007, 18:09

There was a little boy who had just learned to count on his fingers.One day his uncle came to visit and the boy was anxious to show off his newly acquired skill. He told the uncle to ask him an addition question. So the uncle asked, "What is three plus four?"

The little boy counts it out on his fingers and said, "Seven." The uncle said, "Listen kid, you cant count it out on your hands because someday when you are in school, a teacher will get mad at you for it. Now put your hands in your pockets."

So the little boy put his hands in his pockets and his uncle asked,"What is five plus five?" The uncle saw movement in the boys pockets, and then the boy innocently replied, "Eleven."

binz · 25th April 2007, 18:11

Quote:

Originally Posted by ghostrider4385

There was a little boy who had just learned to count on his fingers.One day his uncle came to visit and the boy was anxious to show off his newly acquired skill. He told the uncle to ask him an addition question. So the uncle asked, "What is three plus four?"

The little boy counts it out on his fingers and said, "Seven." The uncle said, "Listen kid, you cant count it out on your hands because someday when you are in school, a teacher will get mad at you for it. Now put your hands in your pockets."

So the little boy put his hands in his pockets and his uncle asked,"What is five plus five?" The uncle saw movement in the boys pockets, and then the boy innocently replied, "Eleven."

This joke cracked me up once before.Managed to disrupt a perpetually boring hindi class...

msdivy · 25th April 2007, 23:24

navdeep · 25th April 2007, 23:28

well captured ...... lol

Ram · 26th April 2007, 06:16

Quote:

Originally Posted by msdivy

Illustrates the moral:
Money can buy you a big Mercedes
(huge six-color computer printer)
but not the intellect to deploy it sensibly!

turbofreak · 26th April 2007, 09:14

fantastic one...navdeep

moralfibre · 26th April 2007, 10:00

Another party should plant a hoarding next to this and inscribe "Leave granted"

navdeep · 27th April 2007, 09:59

Test for Dementia

Below are four ( 4) questions and a bonus question. You have to answer them instantly. You can't take your time, answer all of them immediately. OK?

Let's find out just how clever you really are.

Ready? GO!!! (scroll down)

First Question:

You are participating in a race. You overtake the second person. What position are you in?

Answer: If you answered that you are first, then you are absolutely wrong! If you overtake the second person and you take his place, you are second!

Try not to screw up in the next question.
To answer the second question, don't take as much time as you took for the first question.

Second Question:

If you overtake the last person, then you are...?

Answer: If you answered that you are second to last, then you are wrong again. Tell me, how can you overtake the LAST Person?

You're not very good at this! Are you?

Third Question:

Very tricky math! Note: This must be done in your head only.
Do NOT use paper and pencil or a calculator. Try it.

Take 1000 and add 40 to it. Now add another 1000. Now add 30. Add another 1000. Now add 20. Now add another 1000 Now add 10. What is the total?

Scroll down for answer.

Did you get 5000?

The correct answer is actually 4100.

Don't believe it? Check with your calculator! Today is definitely not your day. Maybe you will get the last question right?

Fourth Question:
Mary's father has five daughters: 1. Nana, 2. Nene, 3. Nini, 4. Nono.
What is the name of the fifth daughter?

Answer: Nunu?

NO! Of course not.
Her name is Mary. Read the question again

Okay, now the bonus round:

There is a mute person who wants to buy a toothbrush. By imitating the action of brushing one's teeth he successfully expresses himself to the shopkeeper and the purchase is done.

Now if there is a blind man who wishes to buy a pair of sunglasses, how should he express himself?

He just has to open his mouth and ask, so simple.

DCEite · 3rd May 2007, 13:20

When the Pakistanis were being delivered their new fleet of fighter jets, an instructor espically came from USA to explain the Pakistani Air Force the simplictiy of the operation of the planes (from USA because Pakistan buys their planes from them)
So when the first plane was delivered, the instructor said" this has 3 buttons, the one on the top is to take off, the one on the left is to go left and the one on the right is to go right."
The soldiers nodded in understanding. But one soldier raised his hand and asked " But sir, how will we get down?"

The instuctor replied "Oh ! Leave that to the Indians"

DriverR · 3rd May 2007, 15:20

This sign was put up one day....

After a few days this sign came up.....

Finally this came......

Now that is called Marketing!!!!!!!

Samurai · 3rd May 2007, 15:26

Quote:

Originally Posted by DriverR

Now that is called Marketing!!!!!!!

Actually, that's advertising.

Vid6639 · 3rd May 2007, 15:30

the goair hoarding on the top looks like a PS job.

esteem_lover · 3rd May 2007, 15:58

fantastic navdeep. The joke could well become true

car_crazy1400 · 4th May 2007, 10:24

A Pakistani, a Bangladeshi & our very own Santa are sitting in a bar one night drinking beer.

The Pakistani drinks his beer & suddenly throws his glass in the air, pulls out a gun & shoots the glass to pieces.

He says " In Islamabad, our glasses are so cheap that we don't need to drink one from the same glass twice."

The Bangladeshi (Obviously impressed by this), drinks his beer, throws his glass into the air, pulls out his gun & shoots the glass to pieces.

He says " in Dhaka, we have so much sand to make glasses that we don't need to drink out of the same glass twice."

Our Santa, cool as a cucumber, picks up his beer & drinks it, throws his glass in the air,
pulls out his gun & shoots the Pakistani and the Bangladeshi.

He says "In India we have so many Pakistanis & Bangladeshis that we don't need to drink beer with the same ones twice !"

P.S. Mods please Delete if Offensive to any one

25th April 2007, 23:24	#1909
msdivy Senior - BHPian Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Bangalore Posts: 1,725 Thanked: 2,392 Times	Long Leave !!!

3rd May 2007, 15:20	#1916
DriverR BHPian Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Hyderabad Posts: 410 Thanked: 507 Times	Sky Wars... Great Marketing This sign was put up one day.... After a few days this sign came up..... Finally this came...... Now that is called Marketing!!!!!!!

25th April 2007, 18:09	#1907
ghostrider4385 BHPian Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Hyderabad Posts: 389 Thanked: 10 Times	There was a little boy who had just learned to count on his fingers.One day his uncle came to visit and the boy was anxious to show off his newly acquired skill. He told the uncle to ask him an addition question. So the uncle asked, "What is three plus four?" The little boy counts it out on his fingers and said, "Seven." The uncle said, "Listen kid, you cant count it out on your hands because someday when you are in school, a teacher will get mad at you for it. Now put your hands in your pockets." So the little boy put his hands in his pockets and his uncle asked,"What is five plus five?" The uncle saw movement in the boys pockets, and then the boy innocently replied, "Eleven."

25th April 2007, 23:28	#1910
navdeep BANNED Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Pune Posts: 892 Thanked: 4 Times	well captured ...... lol

26th April 2007, 09:14	#1912
turbofreak BHPian Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: mumbai Posts: 112 Thanked: 0 Times	fantastic one...navdeep

26th April 2007, 10:00	#1913
moralfibre Team-BHP Support Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: MH-12 Posts: 8,196 Thanked: 12,647 Times View My Garage	Another party should plant a hoarding next to this and inscribe "Leave granted"

27th April 2007, 09:59	#1914
navdeep BANNED Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Pune Posts: 892 Thanked: 4 Times	Test for Dementia Below are four ( 4) questions and a bonus question. You have to answer them instantly. You can't take your time, answer all of them immediately. OK? Let's find out just how clever you really are. Ready? GO!!! (scroll down) First Question: You are participating in a race. You overtake the second person. What position are you in? Answer: If you answered that you are first, then you are absolutely wrong! If you overtake the second person and you take his place, you are second! Try not to screw up in the next question. To answer the second question, don't take as much time as you took for the first question. Second Question: If you overtake the last person, then you are...? Answer: If you answered that you are second to last, then you are wrong again. Tell me, how can you overtake the LAST Person? You're not very good at this! Are you? Third Question: Very tricky math! Note: This must be done in your head only. Do NOT use paper and pencil or a calculator. Try it. Take 1000 and add 40 to it. Now add another 1000. Now add 30. Add another 1000. Now add 20. Now add another 1000 Now add 10. What is the total? Scroll down for answer. Did you get 5000? The correct answer is actually 4100. Don't believe it? Check with your calculator! Today is definitely not your day. Maybe you will get the last question right? Fourth Question: Mary's father has five daughters: 1. Nana, 2. Nene, 3. Nini, 4. Nono. What is the name of the fifth daughter? Answer: Nunu? NO! Of course not. Her name is Mary. Read the question again Okay, now the bonus round: There is a mute person who wants to buy a toothbrush. By imitating the action of brushing one's teeth he successfully expresses himself to the shopkeeper and the purchase is done. Now if there is a blind man who wishes to buy a pair of sunglasses, how should he express himself? He just has to open his mouth and ask, so simple.

3rd May 2007, 13:20	#1915
DCEite BANNED Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: NCR Posts: 3,186 Thanked: 1,339 Times	When the Pakistanis were being delivered their new fleet of fighter jets, an instructor espically came from USA to explain the Pakistani Air Force the simplictiy of the operation of the planes (from USA because Pakistan buys their planes from them) So when the first plane was delivered, the instructor said" this has 3 buttons, the one on the top is to take off, the one on the left is to go left and the one on the right is to go right." The soldiers nodded in understanding. But one soldier raised his hand and asked " But sir, how will we get down?" The instuctor replied "Oh ! Leave that to the Indians"

3rd May 2007, 15:30	#1918
Vid6639 Team-BHP Support Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Bangalore Posts: 17,287 Thanked: 39,398 Times View My Garage	the goair hoarding on the top looks like a PS job.

3rd May 2007, 15:58	#1919
esteem_lover Senior - BHPian Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Madras/Py Posts: 7,556 Thanked: 485 Times View My Garage	fantastic navdeep. The joke could well become true

4th May 2007, 10:24	#1920
car_crazy1400 BHPian Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: DL/UP16/PB10 Posts: 621 Thanked: 284 Times	A Pakistani, a Bangladeshi & our very own Santa are sitting in a bar one night drinking beer. The Pakistani drinks his beer & suddenly throws his glass in the air, pulls out a gun & shoots the glass to pieces. He says " In Islamabad, our glasses are so cheap that we don't need to drink one from the same glass twice." The Bangladeshi (Obviously impressed by this), drinks his beer, throws his glass into the air, pulls out his gun & shoots the glass to pieces. He says " in Dhaka, we have so much sand to make glasses that we don't need to drink out of the same glass twice." Our Santa, cool as a cucumber, picks up his beer & drinks it, throws his glass in the air, pulls out his gun & shoots the Pakistani and the Bangladeshi. He says "In India we have so many Pakistanis & Bangladeshis that we don't need to drink beer with the same ones twice !" P.S. Mods please Delete if Offensive to any one

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