The Official Joke thread

speedmiester · 9th August 2007, 16:14

Awesome collection JK, couldn't stop laughing.

AMATMO · 9th August 2007, 20:02

Quote:

Originally Posted by -GS-

Found this on a website:

MODEL CARS FROM ALL COUNTRIES
CARS ARE NOW IN SO MANY RANGES
MODEL CARS STARTING PRICE AT 1 LAKH TO 100 CORERS
SO MANY CARS ARE NOW MANUFACTURING IN INDIA ONLY
AND ALL TECHNICAL SUPPORT FOR ALL CARS FROM INDIA.
SO MANY OTHER COUNTRIES ARE BUYING CARS FROM INDIA
OUR INDIAN MODEL CARS ARE GIVING MORE ENJOYMENT.
CARS ARE WITH FULLY CONDITION AND WITH FULLY AUTOMATIC SERVICE.
MANUFACTURING FOR CARS IN INDIA IS MAIN BANGALORE CITY.
NOW CARS ARE MOVING WITH FULLY GAS TO CONTROLS POLLUTION.
NEARLY CARS ARE SO MANY MODELS LIKE MARUTHI,SAFARI,SUMO,AMBASDER,ESTEM,AND SO MANY MODEL CARS AVAILABLE..
BUT BEFORE BUYING A MODEL CAR YOU MUST HAVE A DRIVING LICENSE AND WHEN YOU DRIVE A CAR YOU MUST WEAR CEAT BELT.

that' s a killer

man india might be the country with least car models ,this guy
is crazy

sreenivass · 11th August 2007, 15:54

Fiat workshop made my day, people were talking about catholic converters in cars.

Eddy · 13th August 2007, 01:20

Apt for this thread ??

Men who tell one too many light bulb jokes soon burn out

benbsb29 · 13th August 2007, 10:47

Quote:

Originally Posted by sreenivass

Fiat workshop made my day, people were talking about catholic converters in cars.

Hehe, that was a good one, Sreeni !!

n_aditya · 13th August 2007, 20:07

Quote:

Originally Posted by jkdas

Man that guys hairstyle and clothes have a striking resemblance to.... SAM !!!

esteem_lover · 14th August 2007, 02:16

Quote:

Originally Posted by n_aditya

Man that guys hairstyle and clothes have a striking resemblance to.... SAM !!!

And man, haven't you been so nice to point this out to us ignorant blokes ? thank you bangalore beer lover.

Bass&Trouble · 14th August 2007, 12:31

Clicked this with my mobile phone cam off a magazine. I think its an ad for body kits.

Shot at 2007-08-14

benbsb29 · 14th August 2007, 14:45

For those who thought some of Rajnikant's stunts were unbelievable, check out this link :

Ishare: Videos

Enjoi !!

benbsb29 · 14th August 2007, 14:48

Another one, recieved as a forward :
************************************************** ****

A young man goes into a pharmacy and says to the pharmacist, "Hello, could you give me condom. I'm going to my girlfriends for dinner and I think I may be in with a chance!"
The pharmacist gives him the condom and as the young man is going out; he returns and says, "Give me another condom because my girlfriend's sister is very cute too. She always crosses her legs in a provocative manner when she sees me and I think I might strike it lucky there too."

The pharmacist gives him a second condom and as the boy is leaving he turns back and says, "Go on, give me one more condom because my girlfriend's mum is still pretty cute and when she sees me she always makes eyes, and since she invited me for dinner, I think she is expecting me to make a move!

During dinner, the young man is sitting with his girlfriend on his left, the sister on his right and the mum facing him. When the dad gets there,
the boy lowers his head and starts praying, "Dear Lord, bless this dinner and thank you for all you give us." A minute later the boy is still
praying; "Thank you Lord for your kindness."

Ten minutes go by and the boy is still praying, keeping his head down. The others look at each other surprised and his girlfriend is even more surprised than the others. She gets close to the boy and says in his ear, "I didn't know you were so religious." The boy replies, "I didn't know your dad was a pharmacist!"

jkdas · 14th August 2007, 15:05

Quote:

Originally Posted by benbsb29

For those who thought some of Rajnikant's stunts were unbelievable, check out this link :

Ishare: Videos

Enjoi !!

whaatte gun!

youtube look alike by rediff! emm. interesting

condor · 14th August 2007, 20:21

Quote:

Originally Posted by benbsb29

Another one, recieved as a forward :
************************************************** ****

A young man goes into a pharmacy ....... "I didn't know you were so religious." The boy replies, "I didn't know your dad was a pharmacist!"

Benny, looks like this one is doing the rounds again. Check post 721, in December 2005: http://www.team-bhp.com/forum/150898-post721.html

p.s: I too got this on mail

SRK · 14th August 2007, 21:35

Car ka chowkidar
Nothing funny..But these midday people have been naming the Cars wrong many times.
They even could Tell a difference between a Ferrari and an Audi.

And here they name Skoda as Chevrolet?

Mayavi · 15th August 2007, 01:32

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bass&Trouble

Clicked this with my mobile phone cam off a magazine. I think its an ad for body kits.

There is a Lund University in Sweeden

Quote:

Lund University (Swedish: Lunds universitet), Universitas Gothorum Carolina, is a Swedish university and Scandinavia's largest institution for education and research,[1]

appuchan · 15th August 2007, 13:15

Some more Rajani Facts...

* There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Rajnikant has allowed to live.
* Outer space exists because it’s afraid to be on the same planet with Rajnikant.
* Rajnikant counted to infinity - twice.
* When Rajnikant does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.
* Rajnikant is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
* Rajnikant’s hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.
* Rajnikant doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.
* Rajnikant gave Mona Lisa that smile.
* Rajnikant can slam a revolving door.
* Rajnikant does not get frostbite. Rajnikant bites frost.
* Remember the Soviet Union? They decided to quit after watching a Padayappa on Satellite TV
* There are no races, only countries of people Rajnikant has beaten to different shades of black and blue.
* Rajnikant’s house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.
* Rajnikant doesn’t actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear.
* Rajnikant can divide by zero.
* Newton’s Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a Rajnikant turnaround kick.
* When taking the GRE, write “Rajnikant” for every answer. You will score over 1600.
* Rajnikant invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.
* In the beginning there was nothing…then Rajnikant kicked that nothing in the face and said “Get a job”. That is the story of the universe.
* Rajnikant has 12 moons. One of those moons is the Earth.
* Rajnikant grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.
* Archeologists unearthed an old English dictionary dating back to the year 1236. It defined “victim” as “one who has encountered Rajnikant”
* Rajnikant ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
* If you Google search “Rajnikant getting his *** kicked” you will generate zero results. It just doesn’t happen.
* Rajnikant can drink an entire gallon of milk in thirty-seven seconds.
* Rajnikant doesn’t bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint.
* It takes Rajnikant 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.
* The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until Rajnikant kicked one of the corners off.
* There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Rajnikant lives in Chennai.
* Rajnikant once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.
* James Cameron wanted Rajnikant to play the Terminator. However, upon reflection, he realized that would have turned his movie into a documentary, so he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger.
* Thousands of years ago Rajnikant came across a bear. It was so terrified that it fled north into the arctic. It was also so terrified that all of its decedents now have white hair.

9th August 2007, 16:14	#2191
speedmiester Senior - BHPian Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: bangalore Posts: 2,387 Thanked: 6,631 Times	Awesome collection JK, couldn't stop laughing.

11th August 2007, 15:54	#2193
sreenivass BHPian Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Bangalore India Posts: 932 Thanked: 44 Times View My Garage	Fiat workshop made my day, people were talking about catholic converters in cars.

13th August 2007, 01:20	#2194
Eddy Team-BHP Support Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Delhi Posts: 9,387 Thanked: 13,301 Times	Apt for this thread ?? Men who tell one too many light bulb jokes soon burn out

14th August 2007, 12:31	#2198
Bass&Trouble Senior - BHPian Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Bombay Posts: 2,754 Thanked: 124 Times	Clicked this with my mobile phone cam off a magazine. I think its an ad for body kits. Shot at 2007-08-14

14th August 2007, 14:45	#2199
benbsb29 Team-BHP Support Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Brisbane Posts: 9,968 Thanked: 13,223 Times View My Garage	For those who thought some of Rajnikant's stunts were unbelievable, check out this link : Ishare: Videos Enjoi !!

14th August 2007, 14:48	#2200
benbsb29 Team-BHP Support Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Brisbane Posts: 9,968 Thanked: 13,223 Times View My Garage	Another one, recieved as a forward : ************************************************ ** A young man goes into a pharmacy and says to the pharmacist, "Hello, could you give me condom. I'm going to my girlfriends for dinner and I think I may be in with a chance!" The pharmacist gives him the condom and as the young man is going out; he returns and says, "Give me another condom because my girlfriend's sister is very cute too. She always crosses her legs in a provocative manner when she sees me and I think I might strike it lucky there too." The pharmacist gives him a second condom and as the boy is leaving he turns back and says, "Go on, give me one more condom because my girlfriend's mum is still pretty cute and when she sees me she always makes eyes, and since she invited me for dinner, I think she is expecting me to make a move! During dinner, the young man is sitting with his girlfriend on his left, the sister on his right and the mum facing him. When the dad gets there, the boy lowers his head and starts praying, "Dear Lord, bless this dinner and thank you for all you give us." A minute later the boy is still praying; "Thank you Lord for your kindness." Ten minutes go by and the boy is still praying, keeping his head down. The others look at each other surprised and his girlfriend is even more surprised than the others. She gets close to the boy and says in his ear, "I didn't know you were so religious." The boy replies, "I didn't know your dad was a pharmacist!"

14th August 2007, 21:35	#2203
SRK Senior - BHPian Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Mumbai Posts: 1,201 Thanked: 524 Times	Car ka chowkidar Nothing funny..But these midday people have been naming the Cars wrong many times. They even could Tell a difference between a Ferrari and an Audi. And here they name Skoda as Chevrolet?

15th August 2007, 13:15	#2205
appuchan BHPian Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Bangy Posts: 642 Thanked: 27 Times	Some more Rajani Facts... * There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Rajnikant has allowed to live. * Outer space exists because it’s afraid to be on the same planet with Rajnikant. * Rajnikant counted to infinity - twice. * When Rajnikant does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down. * Rajnikant is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head. * Rajnikant’s hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush. * Rajnikant doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is. * Rajnikant gave Mona Lisa that smile. * Rajnikant can slam a revolving door. * Rajnikant does not get frostbite. Rajnikant bites frost. * Remember the Soviet Union? They decided to quit after watching a Padayappa on Satellite TV * There are no races, only countries of people Rajnikant has beaten to different shades of black and blue. * Rajnikant’s house has no doors, only walls that he walks through. * Rajnikant doesn’t actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear. * Rajnikant can divide by zero. * Newton’s Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a Rajnikant turnaround kick. * When taking the GRE, write “Rajnikant” for every answer. You will score over 1600. * Rajnikant invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink. * In the beginning there was nothing…then Rajnikant kicked that nothing in the face and said “Get a job”. That is the story of the universe. * Rajnikant has 12 moons. One of those moons is the Earth. * Rajnikant grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage. * Archeologists unearthed an old English dictionary dating back to the year 1236. It defined “victim” as “one who has encountered Rajnikant” * Rajnikant ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one. * If you Google search “Rajnikant getting his *** kicked” you will generate zero results. It just doesn’t happen. * Rajnikant can drink an entire gallon of milk in thirty-seven seconds. * Rajnikant doesn’t bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint. * It takes Rajnikant 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes. * The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until Rajnikant kicked one of the corners off. * There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Rajnikant lives in Chennai. * Rajnikant once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink. * James Cameron wanted Rajnikant to play the Terminator. However, upon reflection, he realized that would have turned his movie into a documentary, so he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger. * Thousands of years ago Rajnikant came across a bear. It was so terrified that it fled north into the arctic. It was also so terrified that all of its decedents now have white hair.