[theMAG]

Evolution 1990-2008

[v1p3r]

YouTube - Don't Judge too Quickly 8 in 1 (Não julgue Rapidamente)

[Mission_Safari]

My friend had trouble in getting the callertune activated in his vodafone number.

He called them on Monday and the conversation went on like this

my friend: " I had requested for this activation on Thursday and still this hasn't been done "

Customer care: "Sir, It takes 48 hours for this to get activated"

my friend: "But now its well over 48 hours"

Customer care: "Sir, Our server was on holiday in the weekend"

my friend: "what.... " (and eventually hangs up )

[Steeroid]

Dont know if anyone's posted this here before, but here's BushMail!

[ramie2400]

Just received an SMS... a spoof on "Sholay"

Ramu Kaka: Thakur Saheb..Thakur Saheb...Gabar Singh ne bahu rani ki iz**t loot li hai.

Thakur: Toh..!!!

Ramu Kaka:Bahu rani puch rahi hai ke "Gabbar se badla lena hai.. ya Payment??

[pmbabu]

Not sure if this has been posted already.
Great Stand up Comedy by an Indian in Britain ;-)

YouTube - Papa Cj - World Stands Up

[sbasak]

[rsjaurr]

Originally Posted by Mission_Safari

My friend had trouble in getting the callertune activated in his vodafone number.

He called them on Monday and the conversation went on like this

my friend: " I had requested for this activation on Thursday and still this hasn't been done "

Customer care: "Sir, It takes 48 hours for this to get activated"

my friend: "But now its well over 48 hours"

Customer care: "Sir, Our server was on holiday in the weekend"

my friend: "what.... " (and eventually hangs up )

Almost 3rs back when i had Airtel mobile connection,i once called up a customer care guy 3-4days after i made the 1st request to deactivate some service which i was told that it would be deactivated within 48hrs.Service was still active and was not deactivated even after 72-96hrs.

Now that guy replied that sir we work 8hrs a day .........48hrs mean 6 days and so that service will be deactivated after 6days of making request.

No wonder i switched over to Hutch within 2-3 days.

[car_crazy1400]

A blind man enters a Ladies Bar by mistake. He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a drink. After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender, "Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?"

The bar immediately falls absolutely quiet.

In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, sir, you should know five things:
1 - The bartender is a blonde girl.
2 - The bouncer is a blonde girl.
3 - I'm a 6-foot tall, 200-pound blonde woman with a black belt in karate.
4 - The woman sitting next to me is blonde and is a professional weight lifter.
5 - The lady to your right is a blonde and is a professional wrestler.
Now think about it seriously, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?"

The blind man thinks for a second, shakes his head, and declares, "Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."

[car_crazy1400]

A naked woman, without even a thread on her, enters a Bar, heads straight for the Bar man and asks him for a drink.

The barman , instead of serving the drink, just keeps on staring at her.

Woman asks " Haven't you ever seen a naked girl before? "

Barman " No, I have! But I was wondering, just where will you take out the money from , to pay me?"

Mods: Delete if Offensive!

[car_crazy1400]

Two Arabs boarded a flight out of New York. One sat in the window seat and the other sat in the middle seat. Just before takeoff, an American got on and took the aisle seat. After takeoff, the American kicked his shoes off, wiggled his toes and was settling in when the Arab in the window seat said, "I think I'll get up and get a beer."

"No problem," said the American, "I'll get it for you." While he was gone, one of the Arabs picked up the American's shoe and spat in it. When he returned with the beer, the other Arab said, "That looks good, I think I'll have one too."

Again, the American obligingly went to get it and while he was gone, the other Arab picked up the other shoe and spat in it. When the American returned to his seat, they all sat back and enjoyed the flight.

As the plane was landing, the American slipped his feet into his shoes and knew immediately what had happened. He looked at the two Arabs and asked, "Why does it have to be this way? How long must this go on? This fighting between our nations? This hatred? This animosity? This spitting in shoes and pissing in beers?"

[car_crazy1400]

One day at a school in Harrow, London, a teacher said to the class of
5-year-olds, "I'll give £20 to the child who can tell me who was the most
famous man who ever lived."

An Irish boy put his hand up and said, "It was St Patrick!"
The teacher said, "Sorry Paddy, that's not correct."

Then a Scottish boy put his hand up and said, "It was St Andrew!"

The teacher replied, "I'm sorry, Hamish, that's not right either."

Finally, a Patel boy raised his hand and said, "It was Jesus Christ!"

The teacher said, "That's absolutely right, Jay! Come up here and I'll give
you the £20."

As the teacher was giving Jay his money, she said, "You know Jay, since you're a Patel, that means a Hindu, I was very surprised you said Jesus Christ!"

Jay replied, "Yes. In my heart I knew it was Krishna, but business is business!"

P.S.- No Offenses to any particular community, just a joke.

[car_crazy1400]

4 jokes posted in a row, Man , am I on a laughter rolling track or what?

[iraghava]

The following are humorous messages written on tombstones...enjoy!

Harry Edsel Smith of Albany, New York :
Born 1903--Died 1942.
Looked up the elevator shaft to see if the car was on the way down.
It was.

=============================

In a Thurmont, Maryland, cemetery:
Here lies an Atheist, all dressed up and no place to go.

=============================

On the grave of Ezekial Aikle in East Dalhousie Cemetery , Nova Scotia :
Here lies Ezekial Aikle, Age 102.
Only the Good Die Young.

=============================

In a London, England cemetery:
Here lies Ann Mann, who lived an old maid but died an old Mann. Dec. 8, 1767

=============================

In a Ribbesford, England , cemetery:
Anna Wallace
The children of Israel wanted bread, and the Lord sent them manna.
Clark Wallace wanted a wife, and the Devil sent him Anna.

===============================

In a Ruidoso, New Mexico, cemetery:
Here lies Johnny Yeast. Pardon me for not rising.

================================

A lawyer's epitaph in England:
Sir John Strange.
Here lies an honest lawyer,
and that is Strange.

===============================

In a Uniontown, Pennsylvania, cemetery:
Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake.
Stepped on the gas instead of the brake.

==============================

In a Silver City , Nevada , cemetery:
Here lays The Kid.
We planted him raw.
He was quick on the trigger
But slow on the draw.

=================================

John Penny's epitaph in the Wimborne, England cemetery:
Reader, if cash thou art in want of any,
dig six feet deep and thou wilt find a Penny.

=============================

In a Hartscombe, England cemetery:
On the 22nd of June, Jonathan Fiddle went out of tune.

==================================

Anna Hopewell's grave in Enosburg Falls, Vermont:
Here lies the body of our Anna,
Done to death by a banana.
It wasn't the fruit that laid her low,
But the skin of the thing that made her go.

==================================

On a grave from the 1880s in Nantucket, Massachusetts:
Under the sod and under the trees,
lies the body of Jonathan Pease.
He is not here, there's only the pod.
Pease shelled out and went to God.

==================================

In a cemetery in England :
Remember man, as you walk by,
as you are now, so once was I.
As I am now, so shall you be.
Remember this and follow me.

To which someone replied by writing on the tombstone:
To follow you, I'll not consent
until I know which way you went.

[iraghava]

Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence at the White House in D.C.; one from New Jersey, another from Tennessee and the third, from Florida. They go with a White House official to examine the fence.

The Florida contractor takes out a tape measure and does some measuring, then works some figures with a pencil. "Well", he says, "I figure the job will run about $900: $400 for materials, $400 for my crew and $100 profit for me."

The Tennessee contractor also does some measuring and figuring, then says, "I can do this job for $700: $300 for materials, $300 for my crew and $100 profit for me."

The New Jersey contractor doesn't measure or figure, but leans over to the White House official and whispers, "$2,700."

The official, incredulous, says, "You didn't even measure like the other guys! How did you come up with such a high figure?"

The New Jersey contractor whispers back, "$1000 for me, $1000 for you, and we hire the guy from Tennessee to fix the fence."

"Done!" replies the government official.

And that friends, is how it all works!