[Lukeskywalker]

Guys
from now on any jokes in this section may please be sent to Condor via pm so he can pm you back telling if it is already posted.

[Hurrycane12]

An Arab was admitted in the Lilavati Hospital at Mumbai fora heart transplant, but prior to the surgery the doctors needed to store his blood in case need arises. As thegentleman hada rare type of blood, it couldn't be found locally. So the call went out to the neighboring states.

Finally a Gujarati was located who had a similar type of blood. The Gujarati willingly donated his blood for the Arab. After the surgery, the Arab sent the Gujarati as appreciation for giving his blood, a new BMW 540iL, diamonds, lapis lazuli jewelry, and half a million US dollars.

Once again the Arab had to go through a corrective surgery. His doctor telephoned the Gujarati who was more than happy to donate his blood again. After the second surgery, the Arab sent the Gujarati a thank you card and a box of almond halwa sweets. The Gujarati was shocked to see that the Arab this time did not reciprocate the Gujarati's kind gesture as he had anticipated. He phoned the Arab and asked him "This time also I thought that u would give me Toyota Prado, Diamonds and Jewelry. But u gave only a card and a box of almond sweets. To this the Arab replied "Can't help it, Bapu..... Now I have Gujju blood

[suman]

Hi guys, I thought this was a good one, Mods please remove if inappropriate -

[condor]

Hmm. LK Advani producing A Cong-I film.

[brraj]

A dog thinks: My owners feed me, love me, provide me with a nice house, and take good care of me. They must be gods!

A cat thinks: My owners feed me, love me, provide me with a nice house and take good care of me. I must be a god!
............

A young woman who was worried about her habit of biting her fingernails was advised by a friend to take up yoga. She did, and soon her fingernails were growing normally.

Seeing this, her friend congratulated her and said yoga had totally cured her nervousness. "No," she replied, "but now I can reach my toe-nails so I bite them instead.
............

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how to skip work?
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[deepak_ms]

got this in a forward. hope this is not repeated.

[maddy42]

@deepak_ms great one. everyone at work are laughing at this one

[diabloo]

Whats this ?!


A slow news day at the local police headquarters

[Sam Kapasi]

Originally Posted by condor

Hmm. LK Advani producing A Cong-I film.

Nonono. "A film by" means "Directed by."

It says so quite clearly on that picture that the film is produced by Cong-I.

[sathee46]

A woman parked her brand-new Lexus in front of her office ready to show it off to her colleagues. As she got out, a truck passed too close and completely tore off the door on the driver's side.

The woman immediately grabbed her cell phone, dialed 911, and within minutes a policeman pulled up. Before the officer had a chance to ask any questions, the woman started screaming hysterically. Her Lexus, which she had just picked up the day before, was now completely ruined and would never be the same, no matter what the body shop did to it.

When the woman finally wound down from he! r ranting and raving, the officer shook his head in disgust and disbelief.

"I can't believe how materialistic you women are," he said. "You are so focused on your possessions that you don't notice anything else."

"How can you say such a thing?" asked the woman.

The cop replied, "Don't you know that your left arm is missing from the elbow down? It must have been torn off when the truck hit you."

"OH MY GOD!" screamed the woman. "Where's my new bracelet?

Cheers,
Sathish

[mobike008]

Height of Disappointment : A woman finding out AFTER a long search on the internet that--- Phillips 21" was actually a television

[greenhorn]

@ sathee- I've heard it before , only that it involved a lawyer , a BMW, and a rolex instead

[condor]

greenhorn : @ sathee- I've heard it before , only that it involved a lawyer , a BMW, and a rolex instead

Like greenhorn mentioned, this is an Old one, one version of which was posted quite recently :
http://www.team-bhp.com/forum/936117-post3110.html

sathee46 ... the woman started screaming hysterically. Her Lexus, which she had just picked up the day before, was now completely ruined and would never be the same, no matter what the body shop did to it.

When the woman finally wound down from he! r ranting and raving, ..

So what was she raving about ?

[SumitBahl]

Al the guys from Chandigarh/Punjab/Haryana/HP will understand all points.
Feel free to ask if you don't get any of the points.

Every Chandigarhian will have a smile on his/her face reading these.

1.) University elections become more important than MLA, MC elections (SOPU, PUSU bruuahh)

2.) Explaining Gehri to outsiders becomes a tough task

3.) 'Uphill' can only be understood by you

4.) You always have a 'pind' to goto every month

5.) Kaimbwala requires no further defining

6.) You always have a separate budget (after buying a car) for bigger tyres, alloy wheels, stereo, woofer

7.) Shopping in guys' vocabulary refers to buying daru from Jugnu Ahata and soda, glasses from any confectionery

8.) Names like Neelam, Nirman, Kiran, Jagat, Batra, Piccadily aren't just names but entertainment centres

9.) Car-o-bar refers to drinking with glasses on the dickey of the car in sector 8 market late at night

10.) Paranthe wale are the chefs who come out late at night at sector 16 to make paranthe and chai for late night partygoers

11.) Abbreviations like GCG, MCM mean a lot without knowing their full forms

12.) Guys speak in loud Punjabi when a group of girls passes by and girls start speaking in English everytime a group of guys passes by

14.) The traffic cops start the challan drive in the last week of March to end the year in good numbers

15.) Everyone has a 'massi' in Canada, and a 'bhua' in UK

16.) Once upon a point Valentine's Day meant tractors on Gehri route and speeds of only 5 km/h

17.) A new year's bash is incompete without a fight

18.) Any party is incomplete without a fight

19.) Everyone has some political connection

20.) Stu C is more popular with non students of PU

21.) You are proud of being from a particular school and a passive member of its alumni group (YPS, Vivek, Sna, GNPS, Carmel, SJOBA , PECobians etc.)

22.) Going to the dog show means checking out the girls more than the dogs

23.) Owning a Bullet while still in school is everybody's achievement

24.) Spending upto Rs 2 lacs on number 0001 for a car's number plate does not raise any eyebrows

25.) Kinetic Honda scooter is referred to as Kiney and Bullet bike as Bullt

26.) You are proud of being a Punjabi

27.) 'Mallo Malli Khadak Piyan' sticker is found on many cars

28.) Guys are called by their surnames, (Brar, Sidhu bai, Dhillon) and followed by "Kiven aa, Kidaan!!"

29.) 22g is only understood by you

30.) You are shocked to find out when someone doesn't drink and is a vegetarian :O

31.) Many ppl are 'vella' when asked what they do

32.) Everyone's been to the Rock Garden and hate to show it yet again to family friends/relatives from other cities

33.) One hand, while driving, is on the 'muchh' and the other on the steering wheel

34.) Everybody knows everybody

35.) Every new party place has the same old faces

36.) A new car, bike etc. first comes to the Gehri route n later to the gurudwara or mandir

37.) Coke and Pepsi come in small 'Sheeshee'

39.) Anyone and Everyone has had food at "Pal Da Dhaba" and "Giani Da Dhaba (Dharampur)"

40.) Desi Ahatas are officially called "TAVERNS"

41.) Everyone has heard the song "Chandigarh kare aashiqui" by B21

42.) Bikers are challaned even if the pillion rider is not wearing a helmet and girls are allowed to ride without one.

43.) While in school everyone waits for tuition time to finally talk to the special person (not in a uniform)

44.) Panchkula and Mohali-ites don't mind being called as Chandigarhians

45.) Very few ppl know about the Mosque in sector 20 and the Church in sector 18

46.) Most ppl have been challaned more than once (for speeding mostly)

47.) ... And most ppl have gone to the district courts in sector 17 to get their challans cleared (as it is cheaper than paying the fine at sector 29 police lines)

48.) A good lookin car turns more heads than a pretty girl

49.) English speaking girls are usually referred to as "yankan" or "jhankan"

50.) The "Gehri-on-foot" (à la sector 35 CCD lane, sector 17) becomes more popular

[PhrozenFire]

Hehe..had got this forward too a couple of weeks ago. Sure brought back some memories