[ajmat]

whats the difference between a "G" Wagen & a Landrover
A "G" Wagen keeps the oil in
and the water out

[vineetmanghani]

Unable to attract even a single girl, frustrated man sues Axe

New Delhi. In what could prove to be a major marketing and legal embarrassment for Hindustan Unilever Limited (HUL), a 26-year-old man has filed a case against the FMCG company, which owns the Axe brand of men grooming products, for ‘cheating’ and causing him ‘mental suffering’. The plaintiff has cited his failure to attract any girl at all even though he’s been using Axe products for over seven years now. Axe advertisements suggest that the products help men in instantly attracting women.

Vaibhav Bedi, the petitioner, also surrendered all his used, unused and half-used deodorant sprays, perfume sticks and roll-ons, anti-perspirants, aftershaves, body washes, shampoos, and hair gels to the court, and demanded a laboratory test of the products and narcotics test of the brand managers of Axe. Vaibhav was pushed to take this step when his bai (maid) beat him with a broom when he tried to impress her by appearing front of her after applying all the Axe products.


No girl ever asked Vaibhav to call her

“Where is the Axe effect? I’ve been waiting for it for over seven years. Right from my college to now in my office, no girl ever agreed to even go out for a tea or coffee with me, even though I’m sure they could smell my perfumes, deodorants and aftershaves. I always applied them in abundance to make sure the girls get turned on as they show in the television. Finally I thought I’d try to impress my lonely bai who had an ugly fight with her husband and was living alone for over a year. Axe effect my foot!” Vaibhav expressed his unhappiness.

Vaibhav claims that he had been using all the Axe products as per the company’s instructions even since he first bought them. He argued that if he couldn’t experience the Axe effect despite using the products as directed, either the company was making false claims or selling fake products.

“I had always stored them in cool and dry place, and kept them away from direct light or heat. I’d always use a ruler before applying the spray and make sure that the distance between the nozzle and my armpit was at least 15 centimeters. I’d do everything they told. I even beat up my 5-year-old nephew for coming near my closet, as they had instructed it to keep away from children’s reach. And yet, all I get is a broom beating from my ugly bai.” Vaibhav expressed his frustration.

Vaibhav claims that he had to do go a lot of mental suffering and public humiliation due to the lack of Axe effect and wants HUL to compensate him for this agony. An advocate in Karkardooma court, who happened to mistake Vaibhav for some deodorant vendor when he entered the court premises with all the bottles, has now offered to take up his case in the court. HUL has been served a legal notice in this regard.

HUL has officially declined to comment on the case citing the subject to be sub judice, but our sources inform that the company was worried over the possible outcomes of the case. The company might argue that Vaibhav was hopelessly unattractive and unintelligent and didn’t possess the bare minimum requirements for the Axe effect to take place. Officially HUL has not issued any statement, but legal experts believe that HUL could have tough time convincing the court.

“HUL might be tempted to take that line of argument, but it is very risky. There is no data to substantiate the supposition that unattractive and unintelligent men don’t attract women. In fact some of the best looking women have been known to marry and date absolutely ghoulish guys. I’d suggest that the company settles this issue out of court.” noted lawyer Ram Jhoothmalani said.

[ajmat]

Here is a brain teaser. Answers soon

[MuraliR]

@ajmat - here you go -
Also. Question 1 has a spelling error.

[condor]

@Murali, # 3 is

5 + 5 + 5 =/= 550

(you strike through the "=" to get a not-equal too

@Ajmat, When I first looked at the post, the imaged had not downloaded & I could only see the words "Here's a brain teaser. Answers Soon" .. I was like "Ajmat posting such a PJ !! "

[MuraliR]

@condor -

Sorry, I have a different view on Answer to Question 2.

The '+' sign gets a stroke to become 4.

[safari_lover]

Okay guys, I wanted to post this PJ since long time.

Q: What is the difference between Team-BHP and xBHP?
A: On Team-BHP, a member asks suggestions for a bike for his Son, on xBHP a member asks suggestions for a bike for his Dad

PS - No offense meant to Team-BHP, xBHP and the members of both the forums.

[Rotorhead]

Originally Posted by safari_lover

Okay guys, I wanted to post this PJ since long time.

Q: What is the difference between Team-BHP and xBHP?
A: On Team-BHP, a member asks suggestions for a bike for his Son, on xBHP a member asks suggestions for a bike for his Dad

PS - No offense meant to Team-BHP, xBHP and the members of both the forums.

Good one there.

[Rotorhead]

Originally Posted by Sarvodaya

I am not sure if this has been uploaded by fellow bhipians. Traffic Signals explained.

yes sir, this is already posted.

[Mission_Safari]

Guidespot: Failbook

[StarVegabond]

Received this via E-mail, thought of sharing this, Dear MODs, i am not sure whether this is a repeat, if yes, please delete

--------------------------------------------------------------
A distinguished young woman on a flight from Switzerland asked the priest
beside her, "Father, may I ask you a favor?"

"Of course. What may I do for you?"

"Well, I bought an expensive! Electronic hair dryer that is well over the
Customs limits and I'm afraid they'll confiscate it. Is there any way you
could carry it through Customs for me? Under your robes perhaps?"

"I would love to help you, dear, but I must warn you: I will not lie."

"With your honest face, Father, no one will question you."

When they got to Customs, she let the priest go ahead of her. The official
asked, "Father, do you have anything to declare?"

"From the top of my head down to my waist, I have nothing to declare."

The official thought this answer strange, so asked, "And what do you have to declare from your waist to the floor?"

"I have a marvelous little instrument designed to be used on a woman, but
which is, to date, unused." On hearing this the customs official roared
into laughter and asked the priest to go.

[pb10gagan]

@StarVegabond - thats very hilarious

here's another one

Changing time

Mother (Circa 1970): “Son, please marry a girl from the same caste as us.”
Mother (Circa 1980): “Son, please marry a girl belonging to our religion.”
Mother (Circa 1990): “Son, please marry a girl of our social status.”
Mother (Circa 2000): “Son, please marry a girl from our own country.”
Mother (Circa 2010): “Son, please marry a girl.”


- Khushwant Singh

[emkay456]

A SMS doing the rounds in Mumbai today >

Why did Cyclone Phyan avoid Mumbai ?

Because the cyclone was not name in Marathi and did not want to attract wrath !!

[WDM007]

How technology changed us !

[suren181]

"TANJOOBERRYMUTTS"...



By the time you read through this YOU WILL UNDERSTAND
"TANJOOBERRYMUTTS"...and be ready for ***** .

In order to continue getting-by in ***** , we need to learn English the
way it is spoken.......................

Practice by reading the following conversation until you are able to
understand the term "TANJOOBERRYMUTTS".

With a little patience, you'll be able to fit right in.

Now, here goes...
The following is a telephonic exchange between maybe you as a hotel
guest and room-service today......

Room Service : "Morrin. Roon sirbees."

Guest : "Sorry, I thought I dialed room-service."

Room Service: " Rye . Roon sirbees...morrin! Joowish to oddor sunteen???"

Guest: "Uh..... Yes, I'd like to order bacon and eggs."

Room Service: "Ow ulai den?"

Guest: ".....What??"

Room Service: "Ow ulai den?!?... Pryed, boyud, pochd?"

Guest: "Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry.. Scrambled, please."

Room Service: "Ow ulai dee bayken ? Creepse?"

Guest: "Crisp will be fine."

Room Service: "Hokay. An sahn toes?"

Guest: "What?"

Room Service: "An toes. ulai sahn toes?"

Guest: "I.... Don't think so.."

RoomService: "No? Udo wan sahn toes???"

Guest: "I feel really bad about this, but I don't know what 'udo wan
sahn toes' means."

RoomService: "Toes! Toes!...Why Uoo don wan toes? Ow bow Anglish
moppin we botter?"

Guest: "Oh, English muffin! !! I've got it! You were saying 'toast'...
Fine...Yes, an English muffin will be fine."

RoomService: "We botter?"

Guest: "No, just put the botter on the side."

RoomService: "Wad?!?"

Guest: "I mean butter... Just put the butter on the side."

RoomService: "Copy?"

Guest: "Excuse me?"

RoomService: "Copy...tea..meel?"

Guest: "Yes. Coffee, please... And that's everything."

RoomService: "One Minnie. Scramah egg, creepse bayken , Anglish moppin,
we botter on sigh and copy ... Rye ??"

Guest: "Whatever you say."

RoomService: "Tanjooberrymutts."

Guest: "You're welcome"


Remember I said "By the time you read through this YOU WILL UNDERSTAND
'TANJOOBERRYMUTTS' ......and you do, don't you! :-) :-)

Note: Have replaced the name of the country where this is applicable (in fact it is applicable in many countries in our continent) so as to not hurt the sentiments of anyone.