The Official Joke thread

mayankk · 13th September 2011, 17:34

This, from a popular indian protein supplement manufacturer:

...........Creatine a natural compound plays a powerful role in energy metabolism which helps you during intense workout. Glutamine is considered anti-Catholic, growth hormone maximizer and cell volumizing agent, which helps muscle in recovery after intenseworkout. ..........

Anyone clarify what this is?

if true, I say, down with glutamine, the bigot of the amino acids

selfdrive · 13th September 2011, 17:55

Quote:

Originally Posted by mayankk

...........Creatine a natural compound plays a powerful role in energy metabolism which helps you during intense workout. Glutamine is considered anti-Catholic, growth hormone maximizer and cell volumizing agent, which helps muscle in recovery after intenseworkout. ..........
Anyone clarify what this is?
if true, I say, down with glutamine, the bigot of the amino acids

I guess it should have been Anti catabolic. To ensure protein breakdown takes longer IIRC

Scorcher · 13th September 2011, 20:55

Man: What are your expectations about your future life partner?

Woman: Nothing much, he should be smart, intelligent, funny, tall, dark, handsome, (after 15 minutes) yup that's it.

Man: That's it?

Woman: Ahh! One more thing, he shouldn't have any expectations about me, I want him to accept me the way I am!

Epic Fail!

Drunk guy confuses pants with his shirt - YouTube

wanderer4x4 · 14th September 2011, 10:50

Good one...

On the 1st day, God created the dog & said, "Sit all day by the door of your house & bark at anyone who comes in or walks past.
For this, I will give you a life span of 20 yrs"

The dog said, "That's a long time to be barking.. How about only 10 yrs & I'll give you back the other ten?" So God agreed......

On the 2nd day, God created the monkey & said, "Entertain people, do tricks & make them laugh. For this, I'll give you a 20 yrs life span.
The monkey said, "Monkey tricks for 20 yrs? That's a pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back 10 like the dog did?" & God agreed......

On the 3rd day, God created the cow & said, "You must go into the field with the farmer all day long & suffer under the sun, have calves & give milk to support the farmer's family. For this, I will give you a life span of 60 yrs"
The cow said, "That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for 60 yrs. How about 20 & I'll give back the other 40?" & God agreed again......

On the 4th day, God created human & said, "Eat, sleep, play, marry & enjoy your life. For this, I'll give you 20 yrs"
But the ever greedy human said, "Only 20 yrs for such merriment? Could you possibly give me my 20, the 40 the cow gave back, the 10 the monkey gave back &d the 10 the dog gave back; that makes 80 yrs, okay?" "Okay" said God. "You asked for it"

So that is why for our 1st - 20 yrs, we eat, sleep, play & enjoy ourselves. For the next 40 yrs, we slave in the sun to support our family.. For the next 10 yrs, we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren & for the last 10 yrs, we sit on the front porch & bark at everyone.

Gooney · 14th September 2011, 11:15

That was a good one wanderer4x4! Although funny, its meaning is deep and makes you ponder about life, and go, "Holy Cow!"

Spitfire · 14th September 2011, 11:30

The best EVER!!!

wonderful tonight(the greatest version) - YouTube

mayankk · 14th September 2011, 11:31

50% of all marriages end up in divorce.
so, is that bad thing?
considering that the other 50% end up with death?

mayankk · 14th September 2011, 12:13

Saw this last night, and i havent laughed so hard for quite some time....

top gear growler - YouTube

TG and the growler

(missed the edit window for post above)

IronH4WK · 14th September 2011, 18:07

Quote:

Originally Posted by Spitfire

The best EVER!!!

dude! you gotta pay for damages!! i fell off the chair and hit my head on the wall!! now i've suffered internal injuries (can't remember the original Wonderful Tonight)!!

Spitfire · 14th September 2011, 19:25

Quote:

Originally Posted by IronH4WK

(can't remember the original Wonderful Tonight)!!

LOL!! The guy is amazing. Loved the orangutan act.

bblost · 15th September 2011, 11:41

A local United Way office realized that the organization had never received a donation from the town's most successful lawyer. The person in charge of contributions called him to persuade him to contribute.
"Our research shows that out of a yearly income of at least $500,000, you give not a penny to charity. Wouldn't you like to give back to the community in some way?"
The lawyer mulled this over for a moment and replied: "First, did your research also show that my mother is dying after a long illness, and has medical bills that are several times her annual income?"
Embarrassed, the United Way rep mumbled: "Um... no."
The lawyer interrupts: "... or that my brother, a disabled veteran, is blind and confined to a wheelchair?"
The stricken United Way rep began to stammer out an apology, but was interrupted again.
"... Or that my sister's husband died in a traffic accident leaving her penniless with three children?!" the lawyer continued.
The humiliated United Way rep, completely beaten, said simply: "I had no idea..."
On a roll, the lawyer cut him off once again: "So if I don't give any money to them, why should I give any to you?"

Source: askmen
Searched this thread: donation charity

Unknownsatan · 15th September 2011, 14:43

Na jaane kab aayega "happy Men's day" !!!

mayankk · 15th September 2011, 14:45

Quote:

Originally Posted by Unknownsatan

Na jaane kab aayega "happy Men's day" !!!

i'd say men's day is "yesterday", always.

nice one, though!!

dhanushs · 15th September 2011, 15:23

Engineers: The only people, besides porn stars, who get paid for erections.

Happy Engineer’s Day to everyone who has the “IT factor” !

driving_smartly · 15th September 2011, 15:41

Truth of life

Husband makes a mistake wife shouts Husband says - sorry.

When wife makes a mistake. Husband shouts ... Wife cries & poor husband again say SORRY....

13th September 2011, 17:34	#5101
mayankk Distinguished - BHPian Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: New Delhi Posts: 4,920 Thanked: 6,630 Times View My Garage	Re: The Official Joke thread This, from a popular indian protein supplement manufacturer: ...........Creatine a natural compound plays a powerful role in energy metabolism which helps you during intense workout. Glutamine is considered anti-Catholic, growth hormone maximizer and cell volumizing agent, which helps muscle in recovery after intenseworkout. .......... Anyone clarify what this is? if true, I say, down with glutamine, the bigot of the amino acids

14th September 2011, 10:50	#5104
wanderer4x4 BHPian Join Date: Dec 2010 Location: Guwahati Posts: 329 Thanked: 505 Times	Life of Man Good one... On the 1st day, God created the dog & said, "Sit all day by the door of your house & bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of 20 yrs" The dog said, "That's a long time to be barking.. How about only 10 yrs & I'll give you back the other ten?" So God agreed...... On the 2nd day, God created the monkey & said, "Entertain people, do tricks & make them laugh. For this, I'll give you a 20 yrs life span. The monkey said, "Monkey tricks for 20 yrs? That's a pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back 10 like the dog did?" & God agreed...... On the 3rd day, God created the cow & said, "You must go into the field with the farmer all day long & suffer under the sun, have calves & give milk to support the farmer's family. For this, I will give you a life span of 60 yrs" The cow said, "That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for 60 yrs. How about 20 & I'll give back the other 40?" & God agreed again...... On the 4th day, God created human & said, "Eat, sleep, play, marry & enjoy your life. For this, I'll give you 20 yrs" But the ever greedy human said, "Only 20 yrs for such merriment? Could you possibly give me my 20, the 40 the cow gave back, the 10 the monkey gave back &d the 10 the dog gave back; that makes 80 yrs, okay?" "Okay" said God. "You asked for it" So that is why for our 1st - 20 yrs, we eat, sleep, play & enjoy ourselves. For the next 40 yrs, we slave in the sun to support our family.. For the next 10 yrs, we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren & for the last 10 yrs, we sit on the front porch & bark at everyone.

14th September 2011, 11:15	#5105
Gooney BHPian Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Guwahati Posts: 348 Thanked: 70 Times	Re: The Official Joke thread That was a good one wanderer4x4! Although funny, its meaning is deep and makes you ponder about life, and go, "Holy Cow!"

14th September 2011, 11:31	#5107
mayankk Distinguished - BHPian Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: New Delhi Posts: 4,920 Thanked: 6,630 Times View My Garage	Re: The Official Joke thread 50% of all marriages end up in divorce. so, is that bad thing? considering that the other 50% end up with death?

15th September 2011, 11:41	#5111
bblost Team-BHP Support Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Hyderabad Posts: 10,531 Thanked: 10,882 Times View My Garage	Re: The Official Joke thread A local United Way office realized that the organization had never received a donation from the town's most successful lawyer. The person in charge of contributions called him to persuade him to contribute. "Our research shows that out of a yearly income of at least $500,000, you give not a penny to charity. Wouldn't you like to give back to the community in some way?" The lawyer mulled this over for a moment and replied: "First, did your research also show that my mother is dying after a long illness, and has medical bills that are several times her annual income?" Embarrassed, the United Way rep mumbled: "Um... no." The lawyer interrupts: "... or that my brother, a disabled veteran, is blind and confined to a wheelchair?" The stricken United Way rep began to stammer out an apology, but was interrupted again. "... Or that my sister's husband died in a traffic accident leaving her penniless with three children?!" the lawyer continued. The humiliated United Way rep, completely beaten, said simply: "I had no idea..." On a roll, the lawyer cut him off once again: "So if I don't give any money to them, why should I give any to you?" Source: askmen Searched this thread: donation charity

15th September 2011, 14:43	#5112
Unknownsatan Senior - BHPian Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: Bangalore Posts: 2,338 Thanked: 1,529 Times View My Garage	Re: The Official Joke thread Na jaane kab aayega "happy Men's day" !!! Attached Thumbnails

15th September 2011, 15:23	#5114
dhanushs Distinguished - BHPian Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Bathery/BLR Posts: 3,985 Thanked: 8,137 Times	Re: The Official Joke thread Engineers: The only people, besides porn stars, who get paid for erections. Happy Engineer’s Day to everyone who has the “IT factor” !

15th September 2011, 15:41	#5115
driving_smartly BHPian Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: MH43 & MH14 Posts: 513 Thanked: 297 Times View My Garage	Re: The Official Joke thread Truth of life Husband makes a mistake wife shouts Husband says - sorry. When wife makes a mistake. Husband shouts ... Wife cries & poor husband again say SORRY....

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