Job at the FBI:
The FBI had an opening for an assassin and after all the background checks, interviews and testing were done, there were 3 finalists; two men and a woman. For the final test, the FBI agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun. 'We must know that you will follow your instructions no matter what the circumstances. Inside the room you will find your wife sitting in a chair. Kill her!!'
The man said, 'You can't be serious. I could never shoot my wife.' The agent said, 'Then you're not the right man for this job. Take your wife and go home.' The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about 5 minutes. The man came out with tears in his eyes, 'I tried, but I can't kill my wife.' The agent said, 'You dont have what it takes. Take your wife and go home.'
Finally, it was the woman's turn. She was given the same instructions, to kill her husband. She took the gun and went into the room. Shots were heard, one after another. They heard screaming, crashing, banging on the walls. After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the woman, wiping the sweat from her brow. 'This gun is loaded with fake bullets' she said. 'I had to beat him to death with the chair.'
Results of Work Pressure...
Once I was flashing my ID card instead of unlocking the house door with keys..!
Me and my friends went out for dinner in one of the best restaurants . And as I finished..
I started walking towards the wash basin with Plates in my hand..!
Once I was on a call with my father and mom was not around. I went on to ask, “Why is she not attending the weekly status call?”
I don’t login to facebook, yahoo, gmail, youtube, etc.. at my personal internet connection at home…thinking it will be blocked any way. Till I realize – I am at home..!
Yeah sometimes it does happen to me too..
keeping hands in front of tap waiting for water todrop by itself is very frequent with me. I just forget we have to turn on and off the tap….
Once after talking to one of my friends
I ended the conversation saying, "Ok bye…in case of any issues will call u back"
Sometimes when I mistakenly delete a message from my mobile, I hope for a second, maybe it’s in the recycle bin !
Once I went to a pharmacy n asked for a tab….pharmacist * asked whether I want 250mg or500mg….. I replied 256mb….thank god he didn’t notice..!
And I – after a hectic week, went to a movie. In the middle of the movie, when I wanted to check the time, I kept repeatedly glancing at the bottom right corner of the Theatre Screen…
Continuing the work pressure jokes is this SMS joke.
Height of Corporate Pressure:
An employee went to toilet. He sat on the seat and noticed this written on the door:
"Had you put the same pressure at work, company's targets would have been achieved today"
We are contemplating changing the sofa in the living room.
My wife wants to buy something that is in tune with the rest of the furniture. So it will have be wooden and with a straight back.
I need some nice vaastu/ feng shui guy who can convince her that what is needed is a comfortable lazy boy.
Also convince her that the husband must spend at-least 3-4 hours lying down in its comfortable agony watching boring Discovery Turbo.
While she spends some time in the kitchen preparing simple dishes like chicken 65 and french fries.
Doing so will result in immense satisfaction and joy for her. Her poor husband will have to adjust and agree to this immobile life of just lying down and watching TV.