The Official Joke thread

gkveda · 31st August 2018, 11:33

Quote:

Originally Posted by dailydriver

A (not so) simple question.

On a daily basis, should a doctor's better half eat an apple or not?

Good One

If doctor's better half eats an apple a day, keeps the lawyer away as well. (She need not goto lawyer if need be for divorce

NPV · 2nd September 2018, 12:06

Received this on WhatsApp:

Yesterday, accompanied my wife to the Louis Vuitton showroom and was shocked to find that..

My salary was printed on a shoe !!

vrprabhu · 3rd September 2018, 10:41

Quote:

Heartening news

GDP grows at 8.2% in Q1 of 2018-19......

I hope they aren't talking about (cooking) Gas - Diesel - Petrol - prices growing day-by-day :-(

NPV · 4th September 2018, 21:08

India’s proposed batting order in England for the next test match:
1 - Bhagwan
2 - Bharose
3 - Pujara
4 - Kohli
5 - Rahane
6 - Tumhre
7 - Bin
8 - Hamra
9 - Kauno
10 - Nahi
11 - O Paalanhare

dailydriver · 5th September 2018, 12:27

Please give roses to your wife today.

Today is 5th September, Teachers' Day.

After all, you may not have heard so many lectures from anyone else.

GeeTee TSI · 5th September 2018, 19:44

Ever heard of height adjustable pillion seat?

The Official Joke thread-img20180905wa0006.jpg

dailydriver · 5th September 2018, 19:50

Quote:

Originally Posted by bhavik.1991

Maybe Tata has outsourced the job of naming variants to a teenager.
NRG = Energy
KRAZ = Crazy

Had TML been a member here, it would surely have been infracted for using SMS language

.

sandx · 7th September 2018, 21:32

Recieived as a whatsapp forward.

The Official Joke thread-img20180907wa0004.jpg

MBstoTBs · 12th September 2018, 22:13

A whatsapp forward

Driving in cities is like a video game - difficulty level keeps increasing !!

Level 1 - congested road
Level 2 - congested road + potholes & speedmounds
Level 3 - congested road + potholes & speed bumps + metro construction
Level 4 - congested road + potholes & speedbumps + metro construction + rains
Level 5 - congested road + potholes & speed bumps + metro construction + rains + petrol @ 90
Level 6 - congested road + potholes & speed bumps + metro construction + rains + petrol @ 90 + festivals

Bonus Round : Bharat Bandh

adrian · 12th September 2018, 22:25

Have you felt the pain ?!!

The Official Joke thread-41505313_2334919086519128_58018737516707840_n.jpg

Picture courtsey : Car throttle (FB)

dailydriver · 19th September 2018, 12:04

With fuel prices soaring up, Government has decided to shorten the length of a kilometer; so that your cars and bikes may give better mileage!

drive2eternity · 20th September 2018, 08:33

This is not a joke. It is an incident I had to go through.

A few months ago, my organization conducted a cricket tournament. I was one of the lead organizers. The games went smoothly and post each match, the prizes were handed to the Man of the Match or Woman of the Match (yes it was cricket for all) by the umpires.

Then, the senior management of the company requested to hold a formal prize distribution ceremony for the winners and recipients in the office. We had formed a Whatsapp group for all the teams to ensure smooth communication during the tournament. So, I decided to drop a ping in the group asking everyone to bring their awards and collect them again in the official ceremony.

This is what I intended to write:
Hi All. If you have got MoMs, please bring them to office on Friday for official distribution ceremony without fail. Captains to bring their respective trophies.

However, this is what I ended up typing and sending:
Hi All. If you have hot Moms, please bring them to office on Friday for official distribution ceremony without fail. Captains to bring their respective trophies.

G was typed as H in a typo and Android spellcheck quickly corrected MoMs to Moms. Me, like an idiot, sent the message without proof-reading.

It was before Whatsapp had introduced the feature of deleting a sent message.
Needless to say, everyone had a good laugh though I was thoroughly embarrassed, especially due to the presence of both genders in that group.

hemanth.anand · 20th September 2018, 09:03

Quote:

Originally Posted by drive2eternity

This is not a joke.

as soon as I read this, I knew this would be hilarious. It certainly lived up to my expectations.

dailydriver · 20th September 2018, 14:02

An interesting fact that Wiki Pedia validates.

Name: IMG20180920WA0004.jpg
Views: 2341
Size: 29.7 KB

* * * * *

Quote:

Originally Posted by drive2eternity

Me, like an idiot, sent the message without proof-reading.

And that's exactly why we have the 30 minute edit window here.

Man types, Auto Correct typos!

Mr.Boss · 21st September 2018, 17:03

Only the reviews used to be hilarious in Amazon, now see this description

Name: Capture1.JPG
Views: 2153
Size: 25.7 KB

Name: Capture2.JPG
Views: 2111
Size: 28.4 KB

https://www.amazon.in/Comma-XFLL5L-X-Flow-Fully-Synthetic/dp/B06XYK7VRJ/ref=sr_1_fkmr0_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1537529274&sr=8-1-fkmr0&keywords=combo+xfll5l

Quote:

Originally Posted by dailydriver

Man types, Auto Correct typos!

GTO does that here

I always wonder how on earth he finds time to correct all these typos

2nd September 2018, 12:06	#10022
NPV Distinguished - BHPian Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Namma Bengaluru Posts: 6,889 Thanked: 9,170 Times	Re: The Official Joke thread Received this on WhatsApp: Yesterday, accompanied my wife to the Louis Vuitton showroom and was shocked to find that.. My salary was printed on a shoe !!

4th September 2018, 21:08	#10024
NPV Distinguished - BHPian Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Namma Bengaluru Posts: 6,889 Thanked: 9,170 Times	Re: The Official Joke thread India’s proposed batting order in England for the next test match: 1 - Bhagwan 2 - Bharose 3 - Pujara 4 - Kohli 5 - Rahane 6 - Tumhre 7 - Bin 8 - Hamra 9 - Kauno 10 - Nahi 11 - O Paalanhare

5th September 2018, 12:27	#10025
dailydriver Senior - BHPian Join Date: Feb 2017 Location: Cynical City Posts: 1,164 Thanked: 5,273 Times	Re: The Official Joke thread Please give roses to your wife today. Today is 5th September, Teachers' Day. After all, you may not have heard so many lectures from anyone else.

5th September 2018, 19:44	#10026
GeeTee TSI BHPian Join Date: Jun 2015 Location: KA01 Posts: 939 Thanked: 1,991 Times View My Garage	Re: The Official Joke thread Ever heard of height adjustable pillion seat?

7th September 2018, 21:32	#10028
sandx BHPian Join Date: Nov 2017 Location: Hyderabad Posts: 234 Thanked: 555 Times View My Garage	Re: The Official Joke thread Recieived as a whatsapp forward.

12th September 2018, 22:13	#10029
MBstoTBs BHPian Join Date: Oct 2015 Location: Mumbai Posts: 46 Thanked: 43 Times	Re: The Official Joke thread A whatsapp forward Driving in cities is like a video game - difficulty level keeps increasing !! Level 1 - congested road Level 2 - congested road + potholes & speedmounds Level 3 - congested road + potholes & speed bumps + metro construction Level 4 - congested road + potholes & speedbumps + metro construction + rains Level 5 - congested road + potholes & speed bumps + metro construction + rains + petrol @ 90 Level 6 - congested road + potholes & speed bumps + metro construction + rains + petrol @ 90 + festivals Bonus Round : Bharat Bandh Last edited by MBstoTBs : 12th September 2018 at 22:15. Reason: spaces removal

12th September 2018, 22:25	#10030
adrian BHPian Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: Trivandrum Posts: 884 Thanked: 1,069 Times	Re: The Official Joke thread Have you felt the pain ?!! Picture courtsey : Car throttle (FB) Last edited by adrian : 12th September 2018 at 22:26.

19th September 2018, 12:04	#10031
dailydriver Senior - BHPian Join Date: Feb 2017 Location: Cynical City Posts: 1,164 Thanked: 5,273 Times	Re: The Official Joke thread With fuel prices soaring up, Government has decided to shorten the length of a kilometer; so that your cars and bikes may give better mileage!

20th September 2018, 08:33	#10032
drive2eternity BHPian Join Date: Jun 2015 Location: Bangalore Posts: 404 Thanked: 1,748 Times	Re: The Official Joke thread This is not a joke. It is an incident I had to go through. A few months ago, my organization conducted a cricket tournament. I was one of the lead organizers. The games went smoothly and post each match, the prizes were handed to the Man of the Match or Woman of the Match (yes it was cricket for all) by the umpires. Then, the senior management of the company requested to hold a formal prize distribution ceremony for the winners and recipients in the office. We had formed a Whatsapp group for all the teams to ensure smooth communication during the tournament. So, I decided to drop a ping in the group asking everyone to bring their awards and collect them again in the official ceremony. This is what I intended to write: Hi All. If you have got MoMs, please bring them to office on Friday for official distribution ceremony without fail. Captains to bring their respective trophies. However, this is what I ended up typing and sending: Hi All. If you have hot Moms, please bring them to office on Friday for official distribution ceremony without fail. Captains to bring their respective trophies. G was typed as H in a typo and Android spellcheck quickly corrected MoMs to Moms. Me, like an idiot, sent the message without proof-reading. It was before Whatsapp had introduced the feature of deleting a sent message. Needless to say, everyone had a good laugh though I was thoroughly embarrassed, especially due to the presence of both genders in that group. Last edited by drive2eternity : 20th September 2018 at 08:34.

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