The Official Joke thread

arun1100 · 14th March 2010, 11:00

FIAT : Fell In Another Trap.

But, I am happy being fallen in the trap.

Live To Jive · 14th March 2010, 12:27

MARUTI: My Ageing Rusty Useless Tin Item

meonbhp · 14th March 2010, 12:52

Nostalgic! This thread reminds me of my dial-up days. That was 7 years back.

prateekm · 14th March 2010, 19:39

Haha! Nice thread. Looking at the topic, I thought it's about model names like Corolla (part of a flower), Superb (simply great, excellent), Esteem (high regard) etc.

Then it would be funny to know the meaning of a Laura

Live To Jive · 15th March 2010, 08:10

Quote:

Originally Posted by prateekm

Then it would be funny to know the meaning of a Laura

Nothing funny about it. Laura is a common girl's name.

Alto: High
Baleno: Whale
Uno: One
Punto: Point
Linea: Line
Siena: A town in Italy
Petra: A place in Egypt
Armada: Army
Sierra: Mountain
Matador: Killer

aparth · 15th March 2010, 13:45

Quote:

Originally Posted by prateekm

Haha! Nice thread. Looking at the topic, I thought it's about model names like Corolla (part of a flower), Superb (simply great, excellent), Esteem (high regard) etc.

Then it would be funny to know the meaning of a Laura

Laura is a common girl's name..nothing else! I wonder what's so funny about it??

911987 · 15th March 2010, 16:26

Let me be the fall guy.
Let's just say if Laura was a man, she would choose Dick as her name.

Scorcher · 16th March 2010, 04:04

^^ even after reading this ,you didn't get it ?

He meant it in hindi. Now dont ask me to be more exact. If not good at hindi, ask around(Caution - to friends only).

Ironically, this came to my mind when i knew skoda launched the octavia with thus name in india, exactly in India

adits · 16th March 2010, 12:59

Quote:

Originally Posted by Scorcher

^^ even after reading this ,you didn't get it ?

He meant it in hindi. Now dont ask me to be more exact. If not good at hindi, ask around(Caution - to friends only).

Ironically, this came to my mind when i knew skoda launched the octavia with thus name in india, exactly in India

The joke I did read on this said that drivers were against this car as it confused them when they were asked to ready the car for the lady of the house to go out.

aparth · 16th March 2010, 13:08

^ I've heard that one a couple of times!

Delta Wing · 16th March 2010, 17:09

Santa Banta, strolling in the garden, find a bag and it has two bombs ticking in it.
Santa: Chal inhe police station de aate hain.
Banta: Par raste mein koi bum fat gaya to?
Santa: (thinks awhile and says brightly) to kah denge ki ek hi mila tha!

Scorcher · 16th March 2010, 18:32

Quote:

Originally Posted by aargee

I got this video by email; the subject was - " 5 x 5 = 25 or 14 (Nice One) Watch the video"; surprisingly Youtube had one

That is a good one bro. So 25/5=14

nick17s · 17th March 2010, 12:14

Farts: A Poem

FARTS

A fart is a pleasant thing,
It gives the belly ease,
It warms the bed in winter,
And suffocates the fleas.

A fart can be quiet,
A fart can be loud,
Some leave a powerful,
Poisonous cloud

A fart can be short,
Or a fart can be long,
Some farts have been known
To sound like a song.....

A fart can create
A most curious medley,
A fart can be harmless,
Or silent, and deadly.

A fart might not smell,
While others are vile,
A fart may pass quickly,
Or linger a while......

A fart can occur
In a number of places,
And leave everyone there,
With strange looks on their faces .

From wide-open prairie,
To small elevators,
A fart will find all of
Us sooner or later..

But farts are all bad,
Is simply not true-
We must never forget...
Sweet old farts like you!

Unknownsatan · 17th March 2010, 13:05

Old one: I Love to walk in the rain, because no one can see me crying.

New one: I Love to walk in the fog, because no one can see me SMOKING

adits · 19th March 2010, 12:53

A couple of jokes from me on children. Some may be repeated but look logical for people who have actually experienced this
--------------------------------------------------------------
To those of us who have children in our lives, whether they are our own, grandchildren, nieces, nephews or students... here is something to make you chuckle.

Whenever your children are out of control, you can take comfort from the thought that even God's omnipotence did not extend to His own children..

After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve.

And the first thing he said was ' DON'T !'

'Don't what?' Adam replied.
'Don't eat the forbidden fruit.' God said.
'Forbidden fruit? We have forbidden fruit? Hey Eve..we have forbidden fruit! '
'No Way!'
'Yes way!'
'Do NOT eat the fruit!' said God.

'Why?'
'Because I am your Father and I said so ! ' God replied, wondering why He hadn't stopped creation after making the elephants
A few minutes later, God saw His children having an apple break and He was ticked ! 'Didn't I tell you not to eat the fruit?' God asked.

'Uh huh,' Adam replied.
'Then why did you? 'said the Father.
'I don't know,'said Eve.
'She started it! 'Adam said.
'Did not! '
'Did too! '
'DID NOT! '
Having had it with the two of them, God's punishment was that Adam and Eve should have children of their own. Thus the pattern was set and it has never changed.

If you have persistently and lovingly tried to give children wisdom and they haven't taken it, don't be hard on yourself.

If God had trouble raising children, what makes you think it would be a piece of cake for you?

----------------------------------------------------
THINGS TO THINK ABOUT!

1. You spend the first two years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next sixteen telling them to sit down and shut up.

2. Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing your own children.

3. Mothers of teens now know why some animals eat their young.

4. Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said

5. The main purpose of holding children's parties is to remind yourself that there are children more awful than your own

6. We childproofed our homes, but they are still getting in.

ADVICE FOR THE DAY:

Be nice to your kids.. They will choose your nursing home one day

AND FINALLY:

IF YOU HAVE A LOT OF TENSION AND YOU GET A HEADACHE, DO WHAT IT SAYS ON THE ASPIRIN BOTTLE:

'TAKE TWO ASPIRIN' AND 'KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN'!!!!!

16th March 2010, 04:04	#4013
Scorcher Senior - BHPian Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Trivandrum, KL Posts: 4,916 Thanked: 7,118 Times	^^ even after reading this ,you didn't get it ? He meant it in hindi. Now dont ask me to be more exact. If not good at hindi, ask around(Caution - to friends only). Ironically, this came to my mind when i knew skoda launched the octavia with thus name in india, exactly in India Last edited by Scorcher : 16th March 2010 at 04:22.

14th March 2010, 11:00	#4006
arun1100 Senior - BHPian Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Bangalore Posts: 2,087 Thanked: 5,575 Times View My Garage	FIAT : Fell In Another Trap. But, I am happy being fallen in the trap.

14th March 2010, 12:27	#4007
Live To Jive BANNED Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Swindon, UK Posts: 698 Thanked: 89 Times	MARUTI: My Ageing Rusty Useless Tin Item

14th March 2010, 12:52	#4008
meonbhp Newbie Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Mumbai Posts: 13 Thanked: Once	Nostalgic! This thread reminds me of my dial-up days. That was 7 years back.

14th March 2010, 19:39	#4009
prateekm BHPian Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Mumbai & BLR Posts: 790 Thanked: 553 Times	Haha! Nice thread. Looking at the topic, I thought it's about model names like Corolla (part of a flower), Superb (simply great, excellent), Esteem (high regard) etc. Then it would be funny to know the meaning of a Laura

15th March 2010, 16:26	#4012
911987 BHPian Join Date: May 2009 Location: Bangalore Posts: 138 Thanked: 32 Times	Let me be the fall guy. Let's just say if Laura was a man, she would choose Dick as her name.

16th March 2010, 13:08	#4015
aparth Senior - BHPian Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: New Delhi Posts: 1,341 Thanked: 1,708 Times View My Garage	^ I've heard that one a couple of times!

16th March 2010, 17:09	#4016
Delta Wing BHPian Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Hyderabad Posts: 228 Thanked: 115 Times	Santa Banta, strolling in the garden, find a bag and it has two bombs ticking in it. Santa: Chal inhe police station de aate hain. Banta: Par raste mein koi bum fat gaya to? Santa: (thinks awhile and says brightly) to kah denge ki ek hi mila tha!

17th March 2010, 12:14	#4018
nick17s BHPian Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: New Delhi Posts: 536 Thanked: 103 Times View My Garage	Farts: A Poem FARTS A fart is a pleasant thing, It gives the belly ease, It warms the bed in winter, And suffocates the fleas. A fart can be quiet, A fart can be loud, Some leave a powerful, Poisonous cloud A fart can be short, Or a fart can be long, Some farts have been known To sound like a song..... A fart can create A most curious medley, A fart can be harmless, Or silent, and deadly. A fart might not smell, While others are vile, A fart may pass quickly, Or linger a while...... A fart can occur In a number of places, And leave everyone there, With strange looks on their faces . From wide-open prairie, To small elevators, A fart will find all of Us sooner or later.. But farts are all bad, Is simply not true- We must never forget... Sweet old farts like you!

17th March 2010, 13:05	#4019
Unknownsatan Senior - BHPian Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: Bangalore Posts: 2,338 Thanked: 1,537 Times View My Garage	Old one: I Love to walk in the rain, because no one can see me crying. New one: I Love to walk in the fog, because no one can see me SMOKING

19th March 2010, 12:53	#4020
adits BHPian Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Mumbai Posts: 178 Thanked: 25 Times	A couple of jokes from me on children. Some may be repeated but look logical for people who have actually experienced this -------------------------------------------------------------- To those of us who have children in our lives, whether they are our own, grandchildren, nieces, nephews or students... here is something to make you chuckle. Whenever your children are out of control, you can take comfort from the thought that even God's omnipotence did not extend to His own children.. After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve. And the first thing he said was ' DON'T !' 'Don't what?' Adam replied. 'Don't eat the forbidden fruit.' God said. 'Forbidden fruit? We have forbidden fruit? Hey Eve..we have forbidden fruit! ' 'No Way!' 'Yes way!' 'Do NOT eat the fruit!' said God. 'Why?' 'Because I am your Father and I said so ! ' God replied, wondering why He hadn't stopped creation after making the elephants A few minutes later, God saw His children having an apple break and He was ticked ! 'Didn't I tell you not to eat the fruit?' God asked. 'Uh huh,' Adam replied. 'Then why did you? 'said the Father. 'I don't know,'said Eve. 'She started it! 'Adam said. 'Did not! ' 'Did too! ' 'DID NOT! ' Having had it with the two of them, God's punishment was that Adam and Eve should have children of their own. Thus the pattern was set and it has never changed. If you have persistently and lovingly tried to give children wisdom and they haven't taken it, don't be hard on yourself. If God had trouble raising children, what makes you think it would be a piece of cake for you? ---------------------------------------------------- THINGS TO THINK ABOUT! 1. You spend the first two years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next sixteen telling them to sit down and shut up. 2. Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing your own children. 3. Mothers of teens now know why some animals eat their young. 4. Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said 5. The main purpose of holding children's parties is to remind yourself that there are children more awful than your own 6. We childproofed our homes, but they are still getting in. ADVICE FOR THE DAY: Be nice to your kids.. They will choose your nursing home one day AND FINALLY: IF YOU HAVE A LOT OF TENSION AND YOU GET A HEADACHE, DO WHAT IT SAYS ON THE ASPIRIN BOTTLE: 'TAKE TWO ASPIRIN' AND 'KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN'!!!!!