The Official Joke thread

Oxy · 11th January 2012, 14:28

A man suffered a serious heart attack, while shopping in a store. The store clerks called 911, when they saw him collapse to the floor. The paramedics rushed the man to the nearest hospital, where he had emergency open heart bypass surgery.

He awakened from the surgery to find himself in the care of nuns, at the Catholic Hospital he was taken to. A nun was seated next to his bed holding a clip board loaded with several forms and a pen. She asked him how he was going to pay for his treatment.

"Do you have health insurance?", she asked.

He replied in a raspy voice, "No health insurance."

The nun asked, "Do you have money in the bank?"

He replied, "No money in the bank."

"Do you have a relative, who could help you with the payments?" asked the irritated nun.

He said, "I only have a spinster sister, and she is a nun."

The nun became agitated and announced loudly, "Nuns are not spinsters! Nuns are married to God."

The patient replied, "Perfect. Send the bill to my brother-in-law."

Unknownsatan · 12th January 2012, 00:16

Great power comes with great responsibility !!!

Courtesy: some FB page

karanraheja · 12th January 2012, 00:49

Hope i dont get Condored for this !

knaveen · 12th January 2012, 01:39

Found this on facebook. Hope this was not posted earlier.

condor · 12th January 2012, 07:42

Quote:

Originally Posted by 2500cc

Got this as a fwd.
Attachment 868998

@Rajesh,
pls search before you post.

http://www.team-bhp.com/forum/shifti...ml#post1772858

Irish · 12th January 2012, 11:34

Only once in life you will meet someone with whom you can spend your lifetime, you can share your happiness and sorrows.

... Till then enjoy with the wrong one!

Cheers!
Irish

Anand123 · 12th January 2012, 12:20

Any Questions?

Irish · 12th January 2012, 12:23

Quote:

Originally Posted by Anand123

Any Questions?

I don't see any joke in this. Ask the sufferers about the same. The photograph has been taken of such a demonstration done by harassed husbands.

Cheers!
Irish

anilisanil · 12th January 2012, 12:59

Quote:

Originally Posted by Anand123

Any Questions?

I am EXTREMELY interested in the other quotes too!

EDIT: Not quotes. Placards! Or whatever you call them!

mayankk · 12th January 2012, 13:40

Quote:

Originally Posted by anilisanil

I am EXTREMELY interested in the other quotes too!

EDIT: Not quotes. Placards! Or whatever you call them!

google husband atm bangalore.
youll find a few.
not posting since this one in isolation is funny, but the rest....lesser said...

_raVan_ · 12th January 2012, 13:58

The top 10 posters in here!

Good going guys.

pachchu · 12th January 2012, 15:43

Quote:

Originally Posted by Irish

Only once in life you will meet someone with whom you can spend your lifetime, you can share your happiness and sorrows.

... Till then enjoy with the wrong one!

Cheers!
Irish

at a quick glance, I read that as once in life you will meet someone who will spend your lifetime <whatever>

is that selective reading?

Irish · 12th January 2012, 16:33

Designation (Software World) wise Health Chart

Where do you fit in this?

Source: Facebook

PS: Hope I am not Condored for this one. Posting this after search. No offense meant to anybody working in the Software World!

Cheers!
Irish

Oxy · 12th January 2012, 16:46

A Catholic teenager goes to confession, and after confessing to an affair with a girl is told by the priest that he can’t be forgiven unless he reveals who the girl is.

"I promised not to tell!" he says.

"Was it Mary Patricia, the butcher’s daughter?" the priest asks. "No, and I said I wouldn't tell."

"Was it Mary Elizabeth, the printer’s daughter?" "No, and I still won’t tell!"

"Was it Mary Francis, the baker’s daughter?" "No," says the boy.

"Well, son," says the priest, "I have no choice but to excommunicate you for six months."

Outside, the boy’s friends ask what happened. "Well," he says, "I got six months, but three good leads."

#####

A new Army recruit was on the rifle range. He fired 50 shots and completely missed the target with every shot!

His Drill Instructor called him to attention and got in his face. "What’s the matter with you?" shouted the DI. "Why can’t you hit the target? What were you in civilian life?"

"I was a telephone repair man," replied the recruit, "and I don't know why I can't hit the target. Let me see…"

The man checked his rifle, checked his rifle again and then checked his rifle a third time. He then put his finger in front of the muzzle, pulled the trigger and blew the end of his finger off!

"Well," the phone man said, writhing in pain, "the bullets are leaving this end here fine. The trouble must be on the other end!".

Latheesh · 12th January 2012, 16:56

Quote:

Originally Posted by Irish

PS: Hope I am not Condored for this one. Posting this after search. No offense meant to anybody in the Software World!
Cheers!
Irish

No you cannot get away like that. That pic you posted is an offence to people working in the software field

11th January 2012, 14:28	#6196
Oxy BHPian Join Date: Sep 2011 Location: Bangalore Posts: 224 Thanked: 500 Times	Re: The Official Joke thread A man suffered a serious heart attack, while shopping in a store. The store clerks called 911, when they saw him collapse to the floor. The paramedics rushed the man to the nearest hospital, where he had emergency open heart bypass surgery. He awakened from the surgery to find himself in the care of nuns, at the Catholic Hospital he was taken to. A nun was seated next to his bed holding a clip board loaded with several forms and a pen. She asked him how he was going to pay for his treatment. "Do you have health insurance?", she asked. He replied in a raspy voice, "No health insurance." The nun asked, "Do you have money in the bank?" He replied, "No money in the bank." "Do you have a relative, who could help you with the payments?" asked the irritated nun. He said, "I only have a spinster sister, and she is a nun." The nun became agitated and announced loudly, "Nuns are not spinsters! Nuns are married to God." The patient replied, "Perfect. Send the bill to my brother-in-law." Last edited by Oxy : 11th January 2012 at 14:29.

12th January 2012, 00:16	#6197
Unknownsatan Senior - BHPian Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: Bangalore Posts: 2,338 Thanked: 1,537 Times View My Garage	Re: The Official Joke thread Great power comes with great responsibility !!! Courtesy: some FB page Attached Thumbnails

12th January 2012, 00:49	#6198
karanraheja Senior - BHPian Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Coimbatore Posts: 1,961 Thanked: 436 Times	Re: The Official Joke thread Hope i dont get Condored for this ! Attached Thumbnails

12th January 2012, 01:39	#6199
knaveen BHPian Join Date: Sep 2011 Location: Chennai Posts: 239 Thanked: 176 Times View My Garage	Re: The Official Joke thread Found this on facebook. Hope this was not posted earlier. Attached Thumbnails

12th January 2012, 11:34	#6201
Irish BHPian Join Date: May 2009 Location: India Posts: 603 Thanked: 652 Times	Philosophy of Life Only once in life you will meet someone with whom you can spend your lifetime, you can share your happiness and sorrows. ... Till then enjoy with the wrong one! Cheers! Irish

12th January 2012, 12:20	#6202
Anand123 Senior - BHPian Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: KL-01 Posts: 2,297 Thanked: 5,225 Times	Re: The Official Joke thread Any Questions? Attached Thumbnails

12th January 2012, 13:58	#6206
_raVan_ Senior - BHPian Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: Pune Posts: 1,074 Thanked: 660 Times	Re: The Official Joke thread The top 10 posters in here! Good going guys. Last edited by _raVan_ : 12th January 2012 at 13:59.

12th January 2012, 16:33	#6208
Irish BHPian Join Date: May 2009 Location: India Posts: 603 Thanked: 652 Times	Software World Designation (Software World) wise Health Chart Where do you fit in this? Source: Facebook PS: Hope I am not Condored for this one. Posting this after search. No offense meant to anybody working in the Software World! Cheers! Irish Last edited by Irish : 12th January 2012 at 17:01.

12th January 2012, 16:46	#6209
Oxy BHPian Join Date: Sep 2011 Location: Bangalore Posts: 224 Thanked: 500 Times	Re: The Official Joke thread A Catholic teenager goes to confession, and after confessing to an affair with a girl is told by the priest that he can’t be forgiven unless he reveals who the girl is. "I promised not to tell!" he says. "Was it Mary Patricia, the butcher’s daughter?" the priest asks. "No, and I said I wouldn't tell." "Was it Mary Elizabeth, the printer’s daughter?" "No, and I still won’t tell!" "Was it Mary Francis, the baker’s daughter?" "No," says the boy. "Well, son," says the priest, "I have no choice but to excommunicate you for six months." Outside, the boy’s friends ask what happened. "Well," he says, "I got six months, but three good leads." ##### A new Army recruit was on the rifle range. He fired 50 shots and completely missed the target with every shot! His Drill Instructor called him to attention and got in his face. "What’s the matter with you?" shouted the DI. "Why can’t you hit the target? What were you in civilian life?" "I was a telephone repair man," replied the recruit, "and I don't know why I can't hit the target. Let me see…" The man checked his rifle, checked his rifle again and then checked his rifle a third time. He then put his finger in front of the muzzle, pulled the trigger and blew the end of his finger off! "Well," the phone man said, writhing in pain, "the bullets are leaving this end here fine. The trouble must be on the other end!". Last edited by Oxy : 12th January 2012 at 16:52.