The Official Joke thread

bluevolt · 13th January 2012, 16:24

Santa got his promotion and becomes an officer in Punjab Government, to keep up with his status, he decided to speak only in English to all his subordinates.

One morning, his peon peeped through the door to see if his boss was busy. Santa Singh noticed him and shouted, "Why are you outstanding! Please income."

avingodb · 13th January 2012, 17:07

The Indian Cricket Team!

Irish · 13th January 2012, 17:28

Bahu: "Maaji, yeh abhi tak nahi aaye, kahi koi ladki ka chakkar toh nahi hai unke?"

Maaji: "Arrey Kambakht tu toh hamesha galat hi sochti hai, Ho sakta hai ke kisi truck ke niche aa gaya ho!"

English Translation:

Duaghter In Law: "Mom, he (husband) has not come yet. Hope that there is no other girl in their life?"

Mother In Law: "Why do you always think negative? It is also possible that he might have come under some truck."

Cheers & Happy Lohri to All!
Irish

prashant.dinkar · 13th January 2012, 17:51

Truly Indian

Unbelievably accurate: Truly Indian
"When you discover that you are riding a dead horse, the best strategy is to dismount and get a different horse." However, in government, education and corporate India, more advanced strategies are often employed, such as:

Buying a stronger whip.
Changing riders.
Appointing a committee to study the horse.
Arranging to visit other countries to see how other cultures ride dead
horses.
Lowering the standards so that the dead horse can be somehow included.
Reclassifying the dead horse as 'living impaired'.
Hiring outside contractors to ride the dead horse.
Harnessing several dead horses together to increase speed.
Providing additional funding and / or training to increase the dead
horse's performance.
Doing a productivity study to see if lighter riders would improve the
dead horse's performance.
Declaring that as the dead horse does not have to be fed, it is less
costly, carries lower overheads and therefore contributes
substantially more to the bottom line of the economy than do some
other horses.
Rewriting the expected performance requirements for all horses. And,
finally, of course,
Promoting the dead horse to a supervisory position!

If you understand the above, then you are obviously residing in India!!

Fordmanchau · 13th January 2012, 19:40

yeah!! we too need to clear our history wipe out the cookies and cache from our life

The Official Joke thread-mind-browser.jpg

ssh1979 · 13th January 2012, 19:52

Quote:

Originally Posted by Irish

Designation (Software World) wise Health Chart

Where do you fit in this?

Attachment 870607

Source: Facebook

PS: Hope I am not Condored for this one. Posting this after search. No offense meant to anybody working in the Software World!

Cheers!
Irish

Sheeesh!!! I just realised something.

Anand123 · 13th January 2012, 21:55

Take revenge on him...

dockap · 13th January 2012, 23:31

Review of Mahindra XUV500 on MouthShut.com by a software engineer who also influenced Bill Gates of Microsoft and managed to buy 2 factories in Delhi

MAHINDRA XUV500 Review, Accessories, Price, India, MAHINDRA XUV500, Go for TATA MAGIC IRIS - MouthShut.com

please read the comments posted below the review

.

karanraheja · 14th January 2012, 00:16

@Mods-Please feel free to delete this if its against the rules of the Forum

Latheesh · 14th January 2012, 00:29

Quote:

Originally Posted by Irish

Designation (Software World) wise Health Chart

Where do you fit in this?

Source: Facebook

Cheers!
Irish

My friend is planning to show this to his project manager who denied his promotion this year.

He says as per the picture they should give him double promotion to Project leader

Note: My friend is 26, SSE in a software MNC, weighing 109 KG

SS-Traveller · 14th January 2012, 00:31

Quote:

Originally Posted by dockap

Review of Mahindra XUV500 on MouthShut.com by a software engineer who also influenced Bill Gates...

Oh man!!! This one is one of the most entertaining pieces I remember reading in recent times. The comments are a complete riot!

carwatcher · 14th January 2012, 01:51

Quote:

Originally Posted by avingodb

The Indian Cricket Team!

The Indian TEST Cricket Team

neoranjit · 14th January 2012, 03:21

the last line reads... the server closed the window and walked away

Warwithwheels · 14th January 2012, 08:13

Quote:

Originally Posted by dockap

please read the comments posted below the review

.

Top speed of 55KMPL??

On a serious note... how on earth these guys come up with such nonsensical reviews and comments? Is it just for fun or sheer ignorance? or may be they are drunk when they write such reviews? This is completely beyond my comprehension

condor · 14th January 2012, 08:38

Quote:

Originally Posted by neoranjit

the last line reads... the server closed the window and walked away

@Ranjit - the article was about a server at Wendy's. One who serves food.
The 7th line also says server (points handgun at server).

What's wrong with the clip ? Did you think he pointed a gun at a machine and demanded money ? That would have been funny.

13th January 2012, 16:24	#6226
bluevolt Senior - BHPian Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: New Delhi Posts: 3,274 Thanked: 3,474 Times View My Garage	Re: The Official Joke thread Santa got his promotion and becomes an officer in Punjab Government, to keep up with his status, he decided to speak only in English to all his subordinates. One morning, his peon peeped through the door to see if his boss was busy. Santa Singh noticed him and shouted, "Why are you outstanding! Please income."

13th January 2012, 17:07	#6227
avingodb BHPian Join Date: Sep 2011 Location: Delhi/Mumbai Posts: 683 Thanked: 696 Times	Re: The Official Joke thread The Indian Cricket Team!

13th January 2012, 17:28	#6228
Irish BHPian Join Date: May 2009 Location: India Posts: 603 Thanked: 652 Times	Re: The Official Joke thread Bahu: "Maaji, yeh abhi tak nahi aaye, kahi koi ladki ka chakkar toh nahi hai unke?" Maaji: "Arrey Kambakht tu toh hamesha galat hi sochti hai, Ho sakta hai ke kisi truck ke niche aa gaya ho!" English Translation: Duaghter In Law: "Mom, he (husband) has not come yet. Hope that there is no other girl in their life?" Mother In Law: "Why do you always think negative? It is also possible that he might have come under some truck." Cheers & Happy Lohri to All! Irish Last edited by Irish : 13th January 2012 at 17:47.

13th January 2012, 17:51	#6229
prashant.dinkar BHPian Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Ellicott City/New Delhi Posts: 79 Thanked: 53 Times	Truly Indian Truly Indian Unbelievably accurate: Truly Indian "When you discover that you are riding a dead horse, the best strategy is to dismount and get a different horse." However, in government, education and corporate India, more advanced strategies are often employed, such as: Buying a stronger whip. Changing riders. Appointing a committee to study the horse. Arranging to visit other countries to see how other cultures ride dead horses. Lowering the standards so that the dead horse can be somehow included. Reclassifying the dead horse as 'living impaired'. Hiring outside contractors to ride the dead horse. Harnessing several dead horses together to increase speed. Providing additional funding and / or training to increase the dead horse's performance. Doing a productivity study to see if lighter riders would improve the dead horse's performance. Declaring that as the dead horse does not have to be fed, it is less costly, carries lower overheads and therefore contributes substantially more to the bottom line of the economy than do some other horses. Rewriting the expected performance requirements for all horses. And, finally, of course, Promoting the dead horse to a supervisory position! If you understand the above, then you are obviously residing in India!!

13th January 2012, 19:40	#6230
Fordmanchau Senior - BHPian Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: Hyderabad Posts: 1,666 Thanked: 340 Times	Re: The Official Joke thread yeah!! we too need to clear our history wipe out the cookies and cache from our life

13th January 2012, 21:55	#6232
Anand123 Senior - BHPian Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: KL-01 Posts: 2,297 Thanked: 5,225 Times	Re: The Official Joke thread Take revenge on him... Attached Thumbnails

13th January 2012, 23:31	#6233
dockap BHPian Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Mangalore Posts: 868 Thanked: 478 Times View My Garage	Re: The Official Joke thread Review of Mahindra XUV500 on MouthShut.com by a software engineer who also influenced Bill Gates of Microsoft and managed to buy 2 factories in Delhi MAHINDRA XUV500 Review, Accessories, Price, India, MAHINDRA XUV500, Go for TATA MAGIC IRIS - MouthShut.com please read the comments posted below the review.

14th January 2012, 00:16	#6234
karanraheja Senior - BHPian Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Coimbatore Posts: 1,961 Thanked: 436 Times	Re: The Official Joke thread @Mods-Please feel free to delete this if its against the rules of the Forum Attached Thumbnails

14th January 2012, 03:21	#6238
neoranjit BHPian Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Chennai Posts: 588 Thanked: 195 Times View My Garage	Re: The Official Joke thread the last line reads... the server closed the window and walked away Attached Images