The Official Joke thread

Jr Godzilla · 29th January 2008, 13:41

A man and his wife were spending the day at the zoo. She was wearing a loose-fitting pink dress, sleeveless with straps. He was wearing his usual jeans and t-shirt.As they walked through the ape exhibit, they passed in front of a large, silverback gorilla.

Noticing the wife, the gorilla immediately went crazy.
He jumped on the bars and, holding on with one hand and 2 feet, he gruntedand pounded his chest with his free hand. He was obviously very excited by the pretty lady in the pink dress.

The husband, noticing the excitement, thought this was funny. He suggested that his wife tease the poor fellow some more by puckering her lips and wiggling her bottom. She played along and the gorilla got extremely excited, now making noises that would wake the dead.

Then the husband suggested that she let one of her dress straps fall to show a little more skin. She did ... and the gorilla was about to tear the bars down!"Now, show your thighs and sort of fan your dress at him," he said. This drove the gorilla absolutely crazy, and he started doing flips and charging the bars!

Then the husband grabbed his wife, ripped open the door to the cage, flung her in with the gorilla, slammed the cage door shut and said, "Now, tell him you have a headache AND U ARE NOT IN THE MOOD NOW."

Nitin · 29th January 2008, 22:22

hahaha..hilarious one,Jr Godzilla!!

30th January 2008, 11:00

A young brunette goes into the doctor's office and says that her body hurts wherever she touches it.

"That’s impossible," says the doctor. "Show me."

She takes her finger and pushes her elbow and screams in agony. She pushes her knee and screams, she pushes her ankle and screams and on and on it goes.

The doctor says, "You're not really a brunette are you?

She says "No, I'm really a blonde."

"I thought so," he says. "Your finger is broken."

Maverick1977 · 30th January 2008, 12:00

Farmer Jeb decided his injuries from the accident were serious enough to take the trucking company (responsible for the accident) to court.

In court, the trucking company's fancy lawyer was questioning farmer Joe. "Didn't you say, at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine?'" questioned the lawyer.
Farmer Jeb responded, "Well I'll tell you what happened. I had just loaded my favorite mule Molly into the.."

"I didn't ask for any details," the lawyer interrupted, "just answer the question. Did you not say, at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine?'"
Farmer Jeb said, "Well I had just got Molly"

The lawyer interrupted again and said, "Judge, I am trying to establish the fact that, at the scene of the accident, this man told the Highway Patrolman on the scene that he was just fine. Now several weeks after the accident he is trying to sue my client. I believe he is a fraud. Please tell him to simply answer the question."

By this time the Judge was fairly interested in Farmer Jeb's answer and said to the lawyer, "I'd like to hear what he has to say about his favorite mule Molly."
Joe thanked the Judge and proceeded, "Well as I was saying, I had just loaded Molly, my favorite mule, into the trailer and was driving her down the highway when this huge semi-truck and trailer ran the stop sign, and smacked my truck right in the side.
I was thrown into one ditch and Molly was thrown into the other. I was hurting real bad and didn't want to move. However, I could hear ole Molly moaning and groaning. I knew she was in terrible shape just by her groans.
Shortly after the accident a Highway Patrolman came on the scene. He could hear Molly moaning and groaning so he went over to her. After he looked at her he took out his gun and shot her between the eyes.
Then the Patrolman came across the road with his gun in his hand and looked at me. He said, 'Your mule was in such bad shape I had to shoot her. How are you feeling?

It was then that I said, "I'm fine."

abhilash_iv · 31st January 2008, 08:37

Some hilarious ways to be a moron driver here:
HOW TO DRIVE LIKE A MORON

manaa45 · 2nd February 2008, 15:12

Statistics

check out the bottom left of the page.

condor · 2nd February 2008, 19:09

Quote:

haryan

: A tall blonde and a tall brunette are standing in an elevator. A short bald man with lots of dandruff walks in, then gets off at the next floor. The brunette says, “Boy he could use some head and shoulders.”
The blonde says, “Hm. How do you give shoulders?”

Bald. & Dandruff. Both must have been blondes.

Quote:

Maverick1977

: Farmer Jeb decided his injuries from the accident were serious enough to take the trucking company (responsible for the accident) to court....

http://www.team-bhp.com/forum/398042-post1792.html
http://www.team-bhp.com/forum/162194-post791.html

Quote:

suren181

: THIS IS THE COW !...

& The cow has been milked before ..

UPSC ? :http://www.team-bhp.com/forum/164513-post815.html
similar : http://www.team-bhp.com/forum/90372-post245.html

Quote:

Jr Godzilla

: A man and his wife were spending the day at the zoo.

http://www.team-bhp.com/forum/308611-post1572.html

Quote:

suren181

: You are a true Hyderabadi if:...

May be we should title this one for Seconderabadi's !
http://www.team-bhp.com/forum/161830-post783.html

v1p3r · 2nd February 2008, 19:12

What Parvath, lots of free time in Gujarat?

condor · 2nd February 2008, 19:20

Nah, just taking time out to try & tell guys to search before they (re)post.

v1p3r · 3rd February 2008, 15:08

Found this on a blog. Helps if you're tired of your family.

maddy42 · 4th February 2008, 14:32

@manaa That was awesome. Massage@#$@!!!! How can they do sucha goofup

Spinnerr · 4th February 2008, 14:37

A Baptist Preacher was seated next to a cowboy on a flight to Texas. After the plane took off, the cowboy asked for a whiskey and soda, which was brought and placed before him.

The flight attendant then asked the preacher if he would like a drink.
Appalled, the preacher replied, "I'd rather be tied up and taken advantage of by women of ill-repute, than let liquor touch my lips."

The cowboy then handed his drink back to the attendant and said, "Me too, I didn't know we had a choice.

Spinnerr · 4th February 2008, 14:38

In Pharmacology, all drugs have two names, a trade name and generic name. For example, the trade name of Tylenol also has a generic name of Acetaminophen. Aleve is also called Naproxen. Amoxil is also call Amoxicillin and Advil is also called Ibuprofen.

The FDA has been looking for a generic name for Viagra. After careful consideration by a team of government experts, it recently announced that it has settled on the generic name of Mycoxafloppin. Also considered were Mycoxafailin, Mydixadrupin, Mydixarizin, Dixafix, and of course, Ibepokin.

Pfizer Corp. announced today that Viagra will soon be available in liquid form, and will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power beverage suitable for use as a mixer. It will now be possible for a man to literally pour himself a stiff one. Obviously we can no longer call this a soft drink, and it gives new meaning to the names of "cocktails", "high*****" and just a good old-fashioned "stiff drink". Pepsi will market the new concoction by the name of: MOUNT & DO

Samurai · 4th February 2008, 14:50

Quote:

Originally Posted by manaa45

Statistics

check out the bottom left of the page.

Anybody wants to volunteer to show up at the Navi Mumbai RTO to avail the promised services?

benbsb29 · 7th February 2008, 17:02

Indian News Channels are a class apart. They report news which are of high importance to society, and their presentation is immaculate. One such exhibit.

For those who dont comprehend Hindi, the line at the bottom says,
"Amitabh Bachan felt cold".

29th January 2008, 13:41	#2431
Jr Godzilla BHPian Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: pune Posts: 269 Thanked: 151 Times View My Garage	joke A man and his wife were spending the day at the zoo. She was wearing a loose-fitting pink dress, sleeveless with straps. He was wearing his usual jeans and t-shirt.As they walked through the ape exhibit, they passed in front of a large, silverback gorilla. Noticing the wife, the gorilla immediately went crazy. He jumped on the bars and, holding on with one hand and 2 feet, he gruntedand pounded his chest with his free hand. He was obviously very excited by the pretty lady in the pink dress. The husband, noticing the excitement, thought this was funny. He suggested that his wife tease the poor fellow some more by puckering her lips and wiggling her bottom. She played along and the gorilla got extremely excited, now making noises that would wake the dead. Then the husband suggested that she let one of her dress straps fall to show a little more skin. She did ... and the gorilla was about to tear the bars down!"Now, show your thighs and sort of fan your dress at him," he said. This drove the gorilla absolutely crazy, and he started doing flips and charging the bars! Then the husband grabbed his wife, ripped open the door to the cage, flung her in with the gorilla, slammed the cage door shut and said, "Now, tell him you have a headache AND U ARE NOT IN THE MOOD NOW." Last edited by Jr Godzilla : 29th January 2008 at 13:55.

30th January 2008, 11:00	#2433
Suryam Posts: n/a	Doctor’s Visit A young brunette goes into the doctor's office and says that her body hurts wherever she touches it. "That’s impossible," says the doctor. "Show me." She takes her finger and pushes her elbow and screams in agony. She pushes her knee and screams, she pushes her ankle and screams and on and on it goes. The doctor says, "You're not really a brunette are you? She says "No, I'm really a blonde." "I thought so," he says. "Your finger is broken."

30th January 2008, 12:00	#2434
Maverick1977 BHPian Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Mumbai Posts: 997 Thanked: 906 Times View My Garage	Farmer Jeb Farmer Jeb decided his injuries from the accident were serious enough to take the trucking company (responsible for the accident) to court. In court, the trucking company's fancy lawyer was questioning farmer Joe. "Didn't you say, at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine?'" questioned the lawyer. Farmer Jeb responded, "Well I'll tell you what happened. I had just loaded my favorite mule Molly into the.." "I didn't ask for any details," the lawyer interrupted, "just answer the question. Did you not say, at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine?'" Farmer Jeb said, "Well I had just got Molly" The lawyer interrupted again and said, "Judge, I am trying to establish the fact that, at the scene of the accident, this man told the Highway Patrolman on the scene that he was just fine. Now several weeks after the accident he is trying to sue my client. I believe he is a fraud. Please tell him to simply answer the question." By this time the Judge was fairly interested in Farmer Jeb's answer and said to the lawyer, "I'd like to hear what he has to say about his favorite mule Molly." Joe thanked the Judge and proceeded, "Well as I was saying, I had just loaded Molly, my favorite mule, into the trailer and was driving her down the highway when this huge semi-truck and trailer ran the stop sign, and smacked my truck right in the side. I was thrown into one ditch and Molly was thrown into the other. I was hurting real bad and didn't want to move. However, I could hear ole Molly moaning and groaning. I knew she was in terrible shape just by her groans. Shortly after the accident a Highway Patrolman came on the scene. He could hear Molly moaning and groaning so he went over to her. After he looked at her he took out his gun and shot her between the eyes. Then the Patrolman came across the road with his gun in his hand and looked at me. He said, 'Your mule was in such bad shape I had to shoot her. How are you feeling? It was then that I said, "I'm fine."

2nd February 2008, 15:12	#2436
manaa45 BHPian Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: nerul, navi mum Posts: 357 Thanked: 49 Times	Statistics check out the bottom left of the page. Last edited by manaa45 : 2nd February 2008 at 15:27.

29th January 2008, 22:22	#2432
Nitin Senior - BHPian Join Date: May 2006 Location: Houston, Texas Posts: 3,294 Thanked: 20 Times View My Garage	hahaha..hilarious one,Jr Godzilla!!

31st January 2008, 08:37	#2435
abhilash_iv BHPian Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Kochi Posts: 216 Thanked: 15 Times View My Garage	Some hilarious ways to be a moron driver here: HOW TO DRIVE LIKE A MORON

2nd February 2008, 19:12	#2438
v1p3r Senior - BHPian Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: BLR / DXB / LON Posts: 5,334 Thanked: 6,896 Times View My Garage	What Parvath, lots of free time in Gujarat?

2nd February 2008, 19:20	#2439
condor Distinguished - BHPian Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Speed-brkr City Posts: 15,864 Thanked: 16,008 Times View My Garage	Nah, just taking time out to try & tell guys to search before they (re)post.

3rd February 2008, 15:08	#2440
v1p3r Senior - BHPian Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: BLR / DXB / LON Posts: 5,334 Thanked: 6,896 Times View My Garage	Found this on a blog. Helps if you're tired of your family.

4th February 2008, 14:32	#2441
maddy42 Senior - BHPian Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Coorg Posts: 2,131 Thanked: 1,328 Times View My Garage	@manaa That was awesome. Massage@#$@!!!! How can they do sucha goofup

4th February 2008, 14:37	#2442
Spinnerr BHPian Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Bangalore Posts: 417 Thanked: 487 Times	A Baptist Preacher was seated next to a cowboy on a flight to Texas. After the plane took off, the cowboy asked for a whiskey and soda, which was brought and placed before him. The flight attendant then asked the preacher if he would like a drink. Appalled, the preacher replied, "I'd rather be tied up and taken advantage of by women of ill-repute, than let liquor touch my lips." The cowboy then handed his drink back to the attendant and said, "Me too, I didn't know we had a choice.

4th February 2008, 14:38	#2443
Spinnerr BHPian Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Bangalore Posts: 417 Thanked: 487 Times	In Pharmacology, all drugs have two names, a trade name and generic name. For example, the trade name of Tylenol also has a generic name of Acetaminophen. Aleve is also called Naproxen. Amoxil is also call Amoxicillin and Advil is also called Ibuprofen. The FDA has been looking for a generic name for Viagra. After careful consideration by a team of government experts, it recently announced that it has settled on the generic name of Mycoxafloppin. Also considered were Mycoxafailin, Mydixadrupin, Mydixarizin, Dixafix, and of course, Ibepokin. Pfizer Corp. announced today that Viagra will soon be available in liquid form, and will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power beverage suitable for use as a mixer. It will now be possible for a man to literally pour himself a stiff one. Obviously we can no longer call this a soft drink, and it gives new meaning to the names of "cocktails", "high*****" and just a good old-fashioned "stiff drink". Pepsi will market the new concoction by the name of: MOUNT & DO

7th February 2008, 17:02	#2445
benbsb29 Team-BHP Support Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Brisbane Posts: 9,963 Thanked: 13,154 Times View My Garage	Indian News Channels are a class apart. They report news which are of high importance to society, and their presentation is immaculate. One such exhibit. For those who dont comprehend Hindi, the line at the bottom says, "Amitabh Bachan felt cold".