[Sam Kapasi]

Gowda, that was funny BUT how could you make fun of us Bombay-wallahs. That too in the joke section. How disappointing. I did not expect a Bangalorean to stoop this low. Making jokes in the joke thread. Really too much.

I am going to report you. Not to the moderators, the mods are also are making jokes in the joke section. I am going to report you to the President of India. She will infract you for this terrible crime. No wait, she might have a sense of humour too.

I am going to report you to GOD. No no wait, I've heard he has a sense of humour too.

What to do? What to do.

[v1p3r]

Originally Posted by Sam Kapasi

I am going to report you to the President of India. He will infract you for this terrible crime. No wait, he might have a sense of humour too.

I'm sure she won't find it funny that you've de-feminated (is that kosher?) her!

[Sam Kapasi]

Originally Posted by gowda79

6. You're paying Rs. 10,000/- for a One Room Flat, the size of walk-in closet and you think it's a "steal".

And seriously, that has got to be a very old joke. You wouldn't even be able to rent a one room flat in Bangalore for Rs. 10,000/-. lol

[gowda79]

Originally Posted by Sam Kapasi

And seriously, that has got to be a very old joke. You wouldn't even be able to rent a one room flat in Bangalore for Rs. 10,000/-. lol

Sam u get a 2BHK in bangalore for that price in Bangalore.

Bangalore is not mumbai(Costly city), and we make life easy for others who come into Bangalore to get settled.

[Eddy]

Hey Raghu, Cool it yaar. You have made your point and so have the others. Lets not make this thread into a state vs state fight. We have enough Raj Thackreys in the country to take care of that.

Just laugh if you find the jokes funny, else ignore them.

Peace

[Sam Kapasi]

Originally Posted by gowda79

Sam u get a 2BHK in bangalore for that price in Bangalore.

Wow, a 2BHK for 10,000/- man, now I feel cheated. You cannot get any flat in Bombay for that price anymore. Unless it's really up north in New Bombay.

Originally Posted by gowda79

and we make life easy for others who come into Bangalore to get settled.

As long as they don't make jokes about Bangalore, I guess.

[gowda79]

Originally Posted by Eddy

Hey Raghu, Cool it yaar. You have made your point and so have the others. Lets not make this thread into a state vs state fight. We have enough Raj Thackreys in the country to take care of that.

Just laugh if you find the jokes funny, else ignore them.

Peace

eddy i am done buddy, i do not want to be Raj and i am opposing Raj and that is why i have put forward my intention when they put it in TN and KAR - Peace that is what even i was saying

Originally Posted by Sam Kapasi

Wow, a 2BHK for 10,000/- man, now I feel cheated. You cannot get any flat in Bombay for that price anymore. Unless it's really up north in New Bombay.

@Sam - come to Bangalore and i will get you a good residential flat for at that price, nice to speak to you man.

As long as they don't make jokes about Bangalore, I guess.

i hope they don't make it

Thank u guys for those who supported me on the interstate issue and lets stop it at this stage instead of going further deep into the same discussion.

[Sam Kapasi]

Originally Posted by gowda79

Thank u guys for those who supported me on the interstate issue and lets stop it at this stage instead of going further deep into the same discussion.

Ummm gowda, 2 things.

1. Nobody supported you. Please read the thread. Who are you thanking in your speech?

2. There is no interstate issue. This is a blooming JOKE thread. We're making JOKES. About cheating wives, about dying grandmothers, about Sardars, about malayalis and delhi-wallas and everything else that can be funny if seen in the right light.


Forgive me all, I won't go on anymore. Can someone please tell me a joke?

[vkochar]

Originally Posted by Sam Kapasi

Forgive me all, I won't go on anymore. Can someone please tell me a joke?

Here you Go SAM !!

WIFE FROM HELL

A police officer pulls over a speeding car. The officer says, "I clocked you at 80 miles per hour, sir."

The driver says, "Gee, officer I had it on cruise control at 60, perhaps your radar gun needs calibrating ?"

Not looking up from her knitting the wife says: "Now don't be silly dear, you know that this car doesn't have cruise control."

As the officer writes out the ticket, the driver looks over at his wife and growls, "Can't you please keep your mouth shut for once?"

The wife smiles demurely and says, "You should be thankful your radar detector went off when it did."

As the officer makes out the second ticket for the illegal radar detector unit, the man glowers at his wife and says through clenched teeth,

"Damit, woman, can't you keep your mouth shut?"

The officer frowns and says, "And I notice that you're not wearing your seat belt, sir. That's an automatic $75 fine."

The driver says, "Yeah, well, you see officer, I had it on, but took it off when you pulled me over so that I could get my license out of my back pocket."

The wife says, "Now, dear, you know very well that you didn't have your seat belt on. You never wear your seat belt when you're driving."

And as the police officer is writing out the third ticket the driver turns to his wife and barks, "WHY DON'T YOU PLEASE SHUT UP??"

The officer looks over at the woman and asks, "Does your husband always talk to you this way, Ma'am?"

I love this part....



"Only when he's been drinking".

Welcome to the world of women !!!

[paras211]

@gowda i am kind of proud about all the Mumbai/Bombay stuff you wrote.

[greenhorn]

Can we have some good Mallu jokes

The only ones I've heard are ones like

Q: Why did the Mallu cross the road ?
A: Zimbly/To Join the union on the other side

Sardarji get way too many good jokes to their credit, and we are stuck with lame ones like these. I know there are a lot of good ones being made , pity nobody around is sober when they're told to remember them

[gowda79]

[quote=Sam Kapasi;733237]Ummm gowda, 2 things.

1. Nobody supported you. Please read the thread. Who are you thanking in your speech?

That was a Joke SAM and i know no one supports on these things..........

Enjoy the joke

[rsjaurr]

Santa: My 8yr old son is very naughty,
he has made my maid servant pregnant.
Confused Banta, "How the hell?"
Santa: "He took a pin & made holes
in all my condoms."


Doctor: Ur knees all blistered?
Lady: Coz of doggy style!!
Doctor: Cant u do it any other style?
Lady: Oh, I can, but the dog can't!!!


@Mods:Plz delete if u find these too vulgar,and sorry for if had been posted earlier.



Top 9 Funniest Newspaper Classifieds

(Actual excerpts from classified sections of city newspapers)
1. Illiterate? Write today for free help. (man....if only I knew A B C....)

2. Auto Repair Service. Free pick-up and delivery. Try us once; you'll never go anywhere again. (sure...thanx for the warning!)

3. 3-year old teacher needed for pre-school. Experience preferred. (in months or years?)

4. Used Cars: Why go elsewhere to be cheated. Come here first. (check it out)

5. Dog for sale: eats anything and is fond of children. (howwww sweeeet)

6. Man wanted to work in dynamite factory. Must be willing to travel. (wow! A free trip to heaven?)
7. Tired of cleaning yourself. Let me do it. (uh...huh!)

8. Wanted. Man to take care of cow that does not smoke or drink. (hey....who taught cows the bad habit??)
9. We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand.(nice work!)

[condor]

gowda79 1. Train timings (9.27, 10.49 etc) are really important events of life.

Precision. 35km, 56 minutes. Can we do it BLR ? Not yet.

gowda79 : 3. You speak in a dialect of 'Hindi' called 'Bombaiyas' which only 'Bombayites' can understand.

It's so much more livlier than the other dialects.

gowda79 : 10. You have the following sets of friends: School Friends, College Friends, Neighborhood Friends, and Office Friends! And yes, 'Train Friends', a Species unique only in Mumbai.

Of course every one has 'Train Friends'. I even learnt to read Gujrati while travelling on the local.

gowda79 : 11. Cabbies and Bus Conductors think you are from Mars if you call the Roads by their 'Indian Names'; they are more familiar with Warden Road, Peddar Road and Altamount Road.

Good ol' Mumbai.

gowda79 : 14. You take Fashion seriously.

Also, do check out Fashion St next time you're in Mumbai

gowda79 : 16. You compare Mumbai to New York's 'Manhattan', instead of any other Cities of India.

This one is a natural. If you've been to these places, you'll know why.

gowda79 : 18. You insist on calling 'Mumbai' as 'Bombay', 'CST' as 'VT', and 'Sahara' and 'Santacruz' Airports instead of 'Chatrapati Shivaji International Airport'.

Aamchi Mumbai. Wonder why did they ever want to change the names !

Sam Kapasi : Unless it's really up north in New Bombay..

Tut, Tut, Sam. It's Navi Mumbai. How could you ?!

greenhorn : Can we have some good Mallu jokes

One of the best : http://www.team-bhp.com/forum/510078-post2077.html

[Eddy]

Originally Posted by condor

One of the best : http://www.team-bhp.com/forum/510078-post2077.html

Ironically, posted by ajmat

But why was the Blore joke removed ?