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Kinetik 23rd April 2004 21:13

Bugatti Veyron
What drunk Volkswagen boss Bernd Pischetsrieder said, "I am so glad that this crap is finally finished ! especially at a time our Golf sells so poorly. Hopefully it will lift the image of our Volkswagen-brand products. Our customers should be taught that cars are not necessarily as cheap and trouble-free as our Golf. Just look at this crap and you will understand ! it gave me so much headache !"

Pischetsrieder's headache is not without reasons. The Bugatti Veyron project was running over-budgeted and seriously delayed due to a series of technical and quality issues. 4 years ago, Bugatti claimed a world-beating top speed of 252mph and 0-60mph acceleration in only 3.0 seconds. Its quad-turbo W16 engine was said to pump out a record-breaking 1001 horsepower. However, when Bugatti put all components together, they found the engine overheated and the car would airborne at that speed.

"We really thought of a variety of solutions", said the drunk Pischetsrieder, "one of which was to add a decimal point to the horsepower figure, reducing it to 100.1hp. Unfortunately, we found the guys at marketing department had already printed the brochures, so we turned down the idea after calculating the cost involved."

"Another solution was to add air conditioning to the engine compartment. We built a prototype with a super-strong air conditioning and a 4-zone automatic climate control (i.e., to cool the 4 banks of cylinders). We even developed an i-Drive-style control unit for the cooling system just because it sounds cool. Unfortunately, we found the air conditioning unit itself consumed 400 horsepower, and then it needed another air conditioning to cool it down, so forth?it's too complicated, so we turned down the idea."

"In the end, we found an ingenious solution - we detuned the engine to 500hp and stick with a voluntarily limited top speed of 155mph. When the customers need to access 1001hp and 252mph, they can drive their Veyron back to us, and then our experts will release its potential by plugging in a notebook computer, downloading the latest Sony GT4 software to the in-car management system. At the same time, our technicians will help our customers to put on a VR (editor note: Virtual Reality) video mask. Once you press the start button, you can enjoy beating McLaren F1, Ferrari Enzo or whatever ! all these can be done without risking your life ! ingenious !

"In the next phase, we plan to increase performance to 280mph with a 1600hp engine. Hopefully this will be available in GT5 due next April Fool."

Rehaan 24th April 2004 05:01

hahaha..23days late.... it had me until the 3rd paragraph!

Whats the latest news on the veryon though?


ajmat 24th April 2004 09:44

frankly it is waste of time

vishnugnair 26th April 2004 01:56

why ..........1 barrel of crude oil $32.75!
just remember that!

gemballa 10th September 2011 01:28

re: Bugatti Veyron
my blast in the veyron
veyron london - YouTube

Sahil 10th September 2011 12:06

re: Bugatti Veyron
Naaaiice ! That torque pull seems painful !

volkman10 29th August 2014 14:03

re: Bugatti Veyron
The delivery process of Buggati Veyron

cotterpin 29th August 2014 15:16

re: Bugatti Veyron
Have read it somewhere I don't exactly remember,but they incur losses on every veyron sold.

naveen.raju 29th August 2014 15:38

re: Bugatti Veyron

Originally Posted by cotterpin (Post 3518098)
Have read it somewhere I don't exactly remember,but they incur losses on every veyron sold.

Yes, approximately 6m dollars per Veyron sold. This is due to the high production cost and R&D spent on the car during development (R&D alone came close to 1+billion dollars). This is an approximate figure released by the press and the manufacturer didnt release any figures but stated that it's indeed a loss. They wanted to showcase a technical achievement and hope they will make it profitable in the future.

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