Road Rage - Understanding, Avoidance and De-escalating Situation

[sumathindra]

An extremely apt and important topic in today's times. Often people think by raising their voice and showing aggressive behavior one can bulldoze the other party!

Well the truth lies in staying calm and exhibiting logical behavior. Easier said than done eh? Yes I used to get angry in situations however over the years I have toned down as it is not worth it to get into a fight and then it turning ugly. People are highly unpredictable these days and it is wise to walk away from such situations rather than get caught it in. Just my 2 cents folks...

[NMS]

Originally Posted by ajmat

Road Rage is a manifestation of aggression due to one or a combination of the following

• Lack of self-control
• Intimidation tactic
• Cover up of fear since he cannot exit a situation
• Perceived loss of ego

You can counter this by being

1: Confident – you have guts to face him and deal with him

2: Polite -

3: Gracious to a fault – a reed bends in a hurricane, a tree snaps

4: Firm about your rights and your facts

No one wins in road rage – both lose

Very well described Ajmat. The above post summarizes the bes way to deal with Road Rage.

I always maintain that one should be ready to defend themselves in such scenarios and never be the first person to start an altercation/fight.
Ego i feel is a major major factor in Road Rage cases.
Many Many fights would simply not happen if we delayed our anger by just 10 seconds. Even the best of us fall prey to this behavior.

One way is to give the other party a benefit of doubt the first time. Might have been a genuine mistake from the other person. It will save both the concerned parties a lot of stress.

[Added_flavor]

Originally Posted by ajmat

3: You! – yes You!

“But we are Team-BHP’ians, we drive safely and are like angels?”

“ May be, may be not, everybody has a flaw in their driving and maybe a misinterpretation of the law”

No one is perfect. Your imperfection has an equal chance of triggering the incident as also the your self-righteous act (i.e. trying to regulate the speed limit - regulate yourself, not others), teaching the offender a lesson!

Ajmat the entire article is fantastic and is a sure shot eye opener! However I am very happy to see this above point being made by a Mod.
I will note a few points I have noticed and experienced here.

We have Bhpians who have traveled the world, seen very disciplined, mature traffic behavior across the world and expect the same in India. Honestly, I feel it's an ideal (impossible in the near future) situation in India. We can't be perfectionists in India.

Just think about this. When people are not taught lane discipline when getting a license, how do you expect them to follow the same? When they are not taught what's high and low beam, how do you expect them to know? So, in these cases they are not even aware they are doing a mistake. When a perfectionist sees these offenses he is frustrated. He loses patience, which is the starting point for road rage. (I have seen umpteen posts where BHPians become teachers, sometimes in a not-so-sweet way.)

So, one of the most important things I feel, is to lower the bar of expected traffic behavior in India.
For example, if I see a driver hogging the right lane at 30kmph, not wearing a seat belt, I tell myself that he's at least slow and patient or he's ignorant by not wearing a seat belt (Mind you! He's only harming himself and not me) or he's not aware that he's committing a mistake. He's better than those cab drivers who are impatient and have their noses in your butt!

In fact, initially when I used to read through our "Traffic Rant" threads,

Step 1: I learnt a lot of new mistakes that I might have been doing without being aware.
Step 2: Started expecting everyone to follow ALL the traffic rules and used to get frustrated when somebody broke the rule. Used to stare at the guy in anger and disgust and tried to be a teacher.

And then after a long time.
Step 3: I realized it can't be expected and started ignoring these unintentional offenders (Yes, that's how I'd address them).

That I guess, helped me in being calmer on roads and handle situations/traffic better.

[ajmat]

Originally Posted by sumathindra

Well the truth lies in staying calm and exhibiting logical behavior. Easier said than done eh? Yes I used to get angry in situations however over the years I have toned down as it is not worth it to get into a fight and then it turning ugly.

The most victorious battles are those that were never fought!

Originally Posted by Added_flavor

Ajmat the entire article is fantastic and is a sure shot eye opener! However I am very happy to see this above point being made by a Mod.
I will note a few points I have noticed and experienced here.
.

No one is perfect, but all we can do is share learnings, highlight shortcomings and self improve

I do remember reading an old brochure (I think it was a Mercedes one) or similar stating that " good drivers never stop learning!"

[saket77]

Originally Posted by ajmat

I do remember reading an old brochure (I think it was a Mercedes one) or similar stating that " good drivers never stop learning!"

Good positive statement...and definitely better than a Maruti manual which somewhat negatively says 'A perfect driver does not exist.'

But a good article which needs to be actually practiced.

Regards,
Saket

[sansvk]

Excellent write-up!
Back home after a bad day on the roads. Had a close call with a cabbie and was thinking about it even after reaching home. End result, me being in a bad mood, until I read this post and realizing how stupid I was.

[Soumyajit9]

Just now found this video of a road rage. Incredibly crazy !!!

http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=1386610818219997

[sumathindra]

Originally Posted by Soumyajit9

Just now found this video of a road rage. Incredibly crazy !!!

http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=1386610818219997

Totally insane! Still wondering why the guy from the red BMW ran away after indulging in the funny "dhishum" "dhishum"

[vnabhi]

Very good topic, @ajmat. Thanks for posting.

I would like to narrate an accident my hired van was involved in last year, on the outskirts of Colombo. While crossing a 4-road junction, the driver (very seasoned guy in his early 50s) was explaining Sri Lankan spots to me. We'd left the airport only 15 minutes back. He gave way to a car approaching the junction from the left. Soon after that, he started accelerating from a speed of around 30 kmph. He did not see a maniac mobike trying to pass us by a whisker. Perhaps I was blocking his view to the left of the van.

Even before I could shout out a warning, there was a thud and the bike vanished from sight. The driver stopped the vehicle a little ahead and got out of the vehicle to check what had happened. I was seated inside with my family and apprehending the worst, going by our Indian up-bringing. What unfolded was miraculous.

The driver realized that the biker had minor injuries and had minor dent on his front fork. He calmly spoke to him and said we'd rush him to the nearest hospital. He also calmed down the crowd with a smiling face and said he'd take care of him. What further surprised me was that the crowd accepted that the biker ought to have yielded to the van (made me remember the boards from British days that read 'yield right of way'). The van was approaching the junction from the biker's right, so it had the right of way. A sum of Rs 2500 Sri Lankan rupees was paid to the biker and we were on our way again.

My respect for that country rose up several notches after that. Even lane discipline is strictly followed on SL's narrow highways, and I've seen many violators getting caught. Traffic stops even on the busiest roads at Zebra crossings to allow pedestrians to cross. My daughter was amazed about this, as she'd never traveled out of India before. Even I did not expect a south Asian country to have such great road sense.

Sorry for going a bit OT, but wanted to pen my thoughts.

[CARDEEP]

Hi @vnabhi

I agree that Sri Lankans are much more disciplined than Indians. My brother is in the country at the moment, working in a RITES/ Railways project & is pleasantly amazed with the calm & honest nature of common Sri Lankans, whether on road or on highest place in any Government office.

[gabrielthomas]

A Software Professional's Left arm was broken just because he requested an SUV driver to stop honking continuously. The guy was honking badly as he wanted a people to give way by jumping a Red Light. This happened in Navi Mumbai in broad daylight!!

Refer this link: http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/c...ntenttarget=no

I knew there was a separate thread for Road Rage, but I wanted to bring this to everyone's attention at the earliest!!

MODS: Im really sorry for starting a new thread. Kindly move this to the appropriate thread if required.

[ghodlur]

I really fail to understand this "me First" syndrome which has affected people driving all segments of cars, be it an Alto or a high end Fortuner. Everybody wants to be the first to move even before the signal turns red.

My heartfelt sympathies with the software guy. The guy was at the receiving end and even lost consciousness when he was being bashed. The law breakers were able to get bail within no time is another apathy prevailing in our judicial system where the law of jungle prevails. More than often the person who gets an upper hand in an argument wins even if he is wrong.

Its time that the RTO authorities cancel the driving licence of the accused and ban them from driving on the Indian roads for the next 20+ years.

[Dry Ice]

Originally Posted by gabrielthomas

A Software Professional's Left arm was broken just because he requested an SUV driver to stop honking continuously. The guy was honking badly as he wanted a people to give way by jumping a Red Light. This happened in Navi Mumbai in broad daylight!!

Refer this link: http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/c...ntenttarget=no

I knew there was a separate thread for Road Rage, but I wanted to bring this to everyone's attention at the earliest!!

MODS: Im really sorry for starting a new thread. Kindly move this to the appropriate thread if required.

Terrible news. His knocking on the window might have tipped these guys off!
Sometimes you do need to swallow a bitter pill for your own good. These days I follow what I read on the forum sometime back (not sure of the thread). When faced with a rash/negligent driver, I calmly say to myself - "Please have your accident somewhere else" and try to let the guy be! Working well so far

Originally Posted by ghodlur

Its time that the RTO authorities cancel the driving licence of the accused and ban them from driving on the Indian roads for the next 20+ years.

And what good would that do sir? Unless our RTOs are centralized, it is a matter of weeks to get a new license from another district/state for such well connected people. There is no alternative to an efficient judiciary. If punishments are handed out within a month or so, harsher too, all this jungle law on the streets could be reduced to a large extent. People have no fear of law and that shows in their actions. Firing a weapon at toll operators, breaking an arm for not giving way!

[Bluu]

I have found that the Accidents in India thread is a great way for me to keep myself grounded when driving. I've almost completely given up picking a fight or gesticulating when someone does something stupid on the road. I constantly remind myself that I'm better than them and my family is waiting for me. If that doesn't work, I remind myself that my car's parts are very expensive

[n_aditya]

Excellent thread Ajit. You have done a lot of research into why these incidents happen and how to avoid them too. Rated 5 stars.