[sudeepg]

Originally Posted by digitalnirvana

A Finnish owner of a Tesla Model S 2013 is so upset that he's blown his top.

Read this news today morning. It is one thing to be disappointed with a 8 year old car and another to do such a stunt causing environmental damage. The video showed them picking up the debris, but this was totally uncalled for. In their rage they have completely overlooked the environmental damage they have caused for some self gratification. Total idiots!

[akshye]

I employ either of the following methods to de-escalate situations while I'm still in my car:

• Smile and wave to the driver, who appears to have been offended; a 'sorry' like gesture with a smile
• Act like a novice driver. Eyes stuck to the road, sit close to steering in a statue-like posture, not looking in the mirror or the surroundings, look tense/burdened by the stress of driving in traffic

Which of these to use depends upon the general behaviour of the apparently offended driver. Most accept your apology if you offer it well before they even look at you. In the second situation, they actually assume that you're too dumb to drive and you did not intend to offend.

Staying clear of all these aggressive drivers, even before the situation escalates to them trying to stop you, is the key.

[nitin_knw]

Happened many times with me, TeamBHP taught me a lesson to try de-escalating and stay calm and believe me that helped most of the time , again not all incidents are same and one has to adopt this approach judicially.

I just say Sorry with a hand gesture and that's all Irrespective if that's mine or other party mistake

[gotoguru]

Originally Posted by Fuldagap

, the fact of real world is, if you happen to be polite or humble or law abiding or follow the rules, generally people on Indian roads take you for granted and try to bully you unnecessarily.

The thing is we need a civilizational change in driving habits and etiquettes on Indian roads

Well said sir. Change has to come from the roots and it cant by on its own. Strict enforcement plays key.

[glovins2004]

I certainly agree that safety is highest priority that any kind of valor during such situations. However, if the person at fault continue to hurl abuses with foul language, especially when we are with our family, it’s really a challenging task to stay calm and not to react.

Once again, considering safety and our self-respect, it’s better to stay calm and drive to the nearest police station.

It’s disheartening to see even elite and educated folks behaving unruly on our roads.

[luvDriving]

Well yesterday I lost it a bit at a lady while returning from office. I was driving alongside her - she was on a scooty or some such 2 wheeler - and she suddenly swerves in my direction to avoid going through a pothole.

Now this was a crowded time around 06.30 on Law college road (for those who know Pune traffic) and I had a hard time avoiding her and also avoiding getting into a head on collision with oncoming traffic. So when I was back on track, I just looked and her and did a What was that kind of hand sign. That was my mistake I guess. She pulled alongside and started blasting me for not watching out for potholes and anticipating that she was about to swerve. She also said something about sitting comfortably in a car and judging other people but by that time I had rolled up the window.

This was after a long time that I had lost my cool. I was going to just do that what was that thing and move on but then she pulled alongside and started shouted is what made me angry. However I had the sense to not speak a word, roll up the window and move along.

[RoadSurfer]

A question to all.
Off late, I am driving a lot on the pothole ridden Bangalore roads in the evenings. Once the headlamps are ON, it gets really difficult to drive if the car from opposite side is on high beams. There is almost zero visibility of the actual road in this situation. And almost 75% keep their high beam ON. I am always on the lower beams and try to use the high beam just to make the person realise but hardly anyone understands this. And it's not just the cab drivers, but all kinds of folks on road don't know when the high beam should be used.
How do you deal? Reaching home earlier is not an option.

[lamborghini]

Originally Posted by RoadSurfer

A question to all.
Off late, I am driving a lot on the pothole ridden Bangalore roads in the evenings. Once the headlamps are ON, it gets really difficult to drive if the car from opposite side is on high beams. There is almost zero visibility of the actual road in this situation. And almost 75% keep their high beam ON. I am always on the lower beams and try to use the high beam just to make the person realise but hardly anyone understands this. And it's not just the cab drivers, but all kinds of folks on road don't know when the high beam should be used.
How do you deal? Reaching home earlier is not an option.

Good fog lamps should help, and see if there are anti-glare glasses you can pair them with.

[am1m]

Originally Posted by Kumaran93R

Most people don't honk, and honking is usually considered as being aggressive.

That's good to hear! Personally, I always thought we honked too much in Bangalore, but now that you mention it, it's certainly a lot less than in smaller towns.

Originally Posted by Kumaran93R

When I started driving in Bengaluru, I was getting stares for my normal honking....

I used to be one of those guys who would indicate that I didn't like it if the person behind me was honking. Then I realized that it just made the situation worse, so stopped doing that.

Originally Posted by Kumaran93R

...just stating the differences in normal driving styles between the two places to give a better understanding of the situation.

Absolutely correct, though I think more than states, it's a difference between people in cities who are slowly (there is still a lot of unnecessary honking in all our cities) realizing that honking is not helping, and towns where honking for everything is just normal. I've been visiting a small town in North Karnataka at least a few times a year for the past 3 years and there everyone pretty much just keeps the horn engaged throughout the drive/ride! Pretty crazy but everyone just ignores it. So useless and unnecessary but accepted and you'll get strange looks if you ask why they honk!

[Shonith]

Originally Posted by White Aviator

Hello, I'm posting an incident that happened with me just a few hours ago.

As I reside in Pune, I always knew I would post on this thread sooner rather than later as the everyday commute is becoming increasingly stressful due to the devil may care attitude of people on the street. It seems as though almost everyone is a goon of the area and they drive/ride as if it's their private road, even a slight reaction from your side would result in you getting threaten or beaten up. [/list]

Good job! You handled the situation well. Here's is a safety tip to follow if in case you face this situation again. Take a note of the vehicle number. Ride your bike to the nearest police station. It's always safe to do so. Never ride to your home or office when you have a crazy person following you. Once you reach the station either report the incident or just wait in the station premises for sometime and then continue on.

[silverado]

I had a similar chasing situation way back in 2013 when after a small argument between a guy in activa ( i was on wego ), enraged him to chase me.

I was doing high speeds and soon realized this was not the best option. So during this chase as he was about to overtake me i braked hard ( it was safe ) and he kept riding ahead in speed, later to realise that i was behind. i just stopped, and he didnt come back.

Having grown up in Mumbai that too Dadar, i was used to disciplined traffic behavior for most of my life. i shifted to Pune and traffic discipline was a cultural shock for me. I was irritated frustrated for initial years. ( It was a blessing that i commuted by office cab ).

In later years i started accepting the way people drive, and soon realized that even in Mumbai traffic discipline has gone for toss.

I was doing more harm to myself ( Pent up anger, family members also not appreciating the games i played on bad drivers )
I have realized these days people can be edgy due to various other reasons and that traffic situation can be an opportunity to vent it out.

Its best to put up a hand , as if you are saying sorry and pass a smile.
All people want is a confrontation, and when they realize you are no in one they get disinterested.

Your mental and physical well being is more important than your ego, so let it go guys.

[nakulogale]

I have been in multiple altercations (one with an alleged ex-convict as well) but fortunately the situations have never gone too far.
I'll give a couple of examples to help illustrate my point.

Road rage can be simply explained in one word. Ego.

There are certain principles I use to assess the situation.

Situations can be classified into 2 types:
1. Non-accident (just emergency braking for self or other or swerving or near misses)
2. Accident (damage of vehicles or persons)

For non-accidents:
Non-accidents should immediately be de-escalated because there is no advantage to pursuing the discussion, immediately de-escalate by apologize, not profusely - just say wave your hand indicating cognisance of the event to the other party.
This immediately reduces the probability that he will pursue the matter or do anything himself to escalate.
In situations where crowds get involved, be aware that crowds rarely know anything and only side with the party that evokes their sympathy.
If the other party tries to pursue, make a larger gesture like folding hands to indicate that he/she was right.


Accidents:
Cases where there is damage to your vehicle or other's vehicle or both.
These situations can be further classified into 2 categories:
1. Where you have the advantage but dont have the sympathy
What can be the advantages :
a. You are on the smaller vehicle of the two
b. You were rear-ended
c. You have more than 3-4 people with you (preferably male except if the ladies are boss ladies )

example:
I and my friends(four of us) were travelling to Goa and after leaving the Nation Highway, one i20 stopped bang in the middle of the road.
We had to stop but since we were quite slow we stopped well in advance.
But unfortunately a bullet riding person couldn't stop and came an banged us in from behind.
Things got heated when my friend used an expletive and I quitely took him aside and I told him to calm down.
I took out the key of the vehicle. And then proceeded to talk to him.
A crowd assembled there and started telling us not to get involved as these are "locals" and they can do anything.
We proceeded to talk to the rider calmly and told him that while I understand that maybe you couldn't stop still the mistake is yours and we should'nt have to pay for this.

We were only insisting because we didn't want him to reverse the situation on us by asking us for money (since he was on a smaller vehicle)
To cut it short we maintained that it was his mistake and the brakelight was damaged of our i10, and it will need immediate repairing otherwise it will lead to a bigger accident on the highway at night.
We kept saying this over and over and then finally he gave us Rs.1200/- cash. The whole idea again was not to get some money out of it but was to ensure by this action the discussion remained on how it was his mistake.


2. Where you dont have the clear advantage
a. You are on the larger vehicle of the two
b. You were the who rear-ended the other
c. You are alone

Example:
I was on Apte road in Pune, and on my dio wearing a helmet. A swift stopped suddenly in the middle of the road and obviously I couldn't stop in time and rear-ended the car.
I fell down too with the bike and my bike suffered considerable damage as well (eventually Rs.3600 for the panel changes)

I quickly noticed the kind of vehicle it was (dark tinted windows - give you clear indication).
I immediately clutched my left knee while I was down and started howling in pain. (Convincing acting)
Trust me that diffused the situation immedately as the car occupants came out almost with a certainty to beat me up and just mellowed down seeing that I was hurting bad.
After while I tried to get up and asked for help from someone to help to movee my bike and move me to the side of the road.
By this time crowd had assembled and was definitely on my side. (Though you can never be sure in such cases mostly you have to make a quick judgement call)
I let these guys hang around for some time before they started asking me for money for the damage.
Here, I played the student card saying that students dont have such kind of money and what you are asking is not valid.
I made sure that I never blame them for anything on my own but rebutted firmly only when they tried to blame it on me.
By now the anger had subsided on both sides.
Now it was a discussion only about who will repair what.
I offered that you pay for mine and I'll pay for yours and we excahnged numbers and told him that whenever he is in city (He was from Mulshi) to call me I have a person who will fix this up for him.

So effectively even in such disadvantageous situations there is always something you can do to reduce the chances of an altercation.

However, in any situation I always ensure that I never use expletives.
NEVER.

Yes, gift of gab is very useful here and argumentative abilities do help.
Do it with a mix of smile and stern looks and it will work wonders.


Exception to the above is ofcourse much bigger accidents where persons are injured.
On such occasions I have found that continuously saying two things is key.
1. I AM NOT RUNNING AWAY.
2. We need to save the life of the injured person

Focussing on these two things will almost always de-escalate the situation.

Lastly always remember, everything can be sorted by shelling out money so thats always a the last resort.

[DogNDamsel12]

His two minutes of fame - Misogyny alert



Happened to me a couple of days back. I entered a really narrow lane in one of the suburbs of Kolkata, to pick up a friend. Before I entered there was a WagonR who had flashed its dipper asking for "right of way". And at the outset, I admit the Right of Way was his. But since I was blocking the main road, so, I thought I might as well enter the lane and allow traffic to pass and then if needed can appropriately negotiate my way forward or backward to allow the WagonR to pass.

But this led to the WagonR driver's ire, whose reaction was to "unsee" me despite my hand signals. Next, the owner of the car (there were 3 people inside + the driver) comes out chargingly at me, and from the word go his intent was to prove that I didn't know how to drive and why I had entered the lane. Initially, I offered to take my car in reverse into a side lane, which would have been only possible for me if he took his car back a few inches to allow my vehicle enough space to reverse in a due angle. But his stance was simple - his driver won't budge and I have to admit that I cannot drive!

I usually avoid engaging on the road even if that means allowing someone to pass me by. Even when I know that the other person may be wrong, I have done my best to sideline any unnecessary tiffs. But this senile man was not interested in resolving the issue. What clearly offended him was that a woman was at the wheels and he was hellbent on proving that she didn't know how to drive. He was so aggressive and offensive that now even my ego was rubbed. And, while he went on babbling at me in a fit, I called my friend to come over so that the situation can be diffused.

My friend came in. This man went on ranting away at him too (the picture is of him yelling at my friend. His ask was simple "She has to admit that she cannot drive!" I figured it would pacify him if I handed over the keys to my friend, who asked the WagonR driver to back up a few inches and then backed up my car into the side lane just the way I had politely suggested to this man about 5 minutes back.

Actually, this man was out there to prove a point - because I am a woman, I cannot drive. He went on repeating that like a rapper in Bengali, as my friend was inside the car backing up and I was standing in the midst of a crowd of local onlookers. He was trying to turn them against me. One particular comment that should be a telltale sign of his misogynist outlook was "look how she is wearing her sunglasses on her head, and she is arguing and she doesn't know how to drive."

N.B. He was paying a driver to take him around but thinks he is qualified to comment on my driving.

It is nerve-wracking to let the moment slide and not let your ego take over, and triggering to be judged basis my gender. But I have learned to steel my nerves and move on as best as I can!

[Thad E Ginathom]

Originally Posted by DogNDamsel12

... because I am a woman, I cannot drive...

My mother, in UK, continued to drive (on difficult rural roads) until a few months before her death just short of her 90th birthday. She not only drove, but had an intuitive understanding of the car's mechanics, faults, etc.

Next to my father, one of my greatest driving gurus, who used to take me out for practice driving, was a woman.

Yes, I've seen stupid woman drivers: but far fewer than men!

N.B. He was paying a driver to take him around but thinks he is qualified to comment on my driving.

Very telling. I wonder if your guy could even drive!

A long time ago, when I was relatively new to Indian residence, roads, driving, I learnt this from an auto driver, when I expressed anger at a car blocking the road: "Do not blame him: he is a professional driver, and has no choice but to do what the owner tells him." The owner, like your guy, was the moron.

[ShreyG]

Originally Posted by DogNDamsel12

because I am a woman, I cannot drive.
N.B. He was paying a driver to take him around but thinks he is qualified to comment on my driving.

Well clear BS from the said gentleman (if I may dare to call him that ). I can proudly say that I have been driving for close to 12 years now and have been taught by my mother (who herself has been driving for >40 years and has the confidence of a 25 year old at the ripe age of 60). These kind of idiots give a bad name to gentlemenkind . Hope this one off incident hasn't put you off.
Coming to the topic of de-escalation techniques, I can mention one which you should certainly avoid to reduce the escalation.
I had a minor situation on the ORR Bangalore, where a two wheeler rider (the tafri kind, helmetless, snaking around with headlight panel removed) nearly fell over during his snaking maneuvers. Would have been disastrous if he had since he would have fallen right in front of me with no scope left for emergency braking. Unfortunately, at that moment, my co passenger and I were laughing at something we had heard on the radio. This incensed said primate and at the 19th Main HSR red light, he caught up to us and started banging on the window firing expletives( in fluent Hindi ). I remained calm and did not pay much attention, waiting for the light to turn green. Apparently it was my fault that he had nearly slipped ( I had honked at him to let him know I was behind him ) and how dare I laugh at him. Fortunately, the saving grace was my dashcam. As soon as I pointed to the camera , he must have realized that everything that has happened is recorded as he fellow zoomed off right into the path of oncoming traffic, never to be seen again.

So lessons-

1. Avoiding laughing whenever there is an incident (an apologetic smile should be ok though)
2. Get a dashcam. There are plenty of idiots on the road with frustrated pedestrian public ready to back him / her up against big car guy. The police will have a solid backing to help you out if you have video