7 Habits of highly effective idiots on Indian roads

[alpha1]

Originally Posted by sforsarang

'Road sense is the offspring of courtesy and the parent of safety' - Australian Traffic Rules quote from 1938 reads and I couldn't agree more.

I for one, blame it entirely on the lack of combination of civic sense, and much needed traffic sense (or road sense) among ourselves. Neither do we have any courtesy or empathy for the fellow commuters, drivers, pedestrians or vehicles plying on the road, nor do we have any willingness to go by the rule books. Heck, we don't even give a damn to our own safety (and that of our own people), forget about the rest. In that sense, it is quite safe to call ourselves plain idiots wandering on the roads with a license to kill or get killed.

Haha, this is a great thread on a genuine topic.
But honestly, sforsarang, if you realize, this behavior is not just limited to road sense.
As I posted elsewhere (http://www.team-bhp.com/forum/street...ml#post3070245), this is human nature, which can be condensed to the following:

1. I am highly selfish and greedy (so why should I care about the impact of my action on others)
2. I am always in an irrational hurry (not just in traffic, but everything in life)
3. I can never be wrong, neither those in my close relationship
4. I always accuse others of being idiot (despite me doing the same - see the next point)
5. The rule is always flexible for me ( "इतना तो चलता है" )


I am sure many of the road disciplined people (even on this thread) will still display either of the above characteristics in some or the other aspect of their lives.


Now you may argue with me saying why is road sense more developed in other countries?

I will answer it - discipline. And unfortunately for most human (the ones that follow the above axioms) the only way to discipline is via authority. They simply lack the capability to use intelligence and think for the better or everyone.

[Ajaybiz]

My vote goes to many highly educated IT pros carrying laptop bag and some big companies tag in their neck and walking all the way down from extremely right side of the road from opposite direction.

[t3ofil4us]

Most of the Indian drivers who have no courtesy are covered here, although I would like to add the most notorious of them, Autorikshaw drivers.

All of a sudden they decide that they want to turn and drive in the opposite direction. they have no clue as to why their vehicles are equipped with the turn indicators and most of them never use them in their whole life. I have screeched to a halt multiple times, scaring the living daylights out of me, the pedestrians around and motorists behind me.

Seriously, whenever I see a rick ahead I slow down , no matter how much ever i have to hurry to my destination.
I just hope it is made mandatory for all these drivers to be certified by a very strict authority concerning their driving habits/respect towards other motorists.

Cheers,

[lapis_lazuli]

Probably unique to NCR/fringe/NCR "extension":

1) A bikewallah, in first gear, with one leg on the rear plank of a hand cart, effectively transporting a pregnant buffalo, a pile of bricks, 6 of his family members or may be 10 gas cylinders. His leg is now the "axle" or the "drivetrain". On similar lines, a cyclist lugging along with his "bhaiyyas" bike. And all this along the NH24.

2) Two "brothers in arms" autowallah or cabbie: occupying two lanes of the road, and exchanging pleasantries or discussing road-sense amongst themselves, with the every third word uttered being unspeakable mating rituals within the bloodline. All the traffic behind

3) Stopping on the Hindon bridge, Nizamuddin bridge or whatever bears a resemblance of a waterbody, to offer prayers, dump used pujan/hawan stuff, further polluting the stream, and finally impressed by how a prayer stopped traffic!

4) TBHPian stopping at the busiest sec 62 crossing, getting out of his vehicle, feeling the depth of the nascent scratch by the "run your nails across" method, cursing the biker who caused the scratch and holding traffic for 5-6 minutes. Ahem....this is not fiction.

[Freebird82]

Originally Posted by sforsarang

' I for one, blame it entirely on the lack of combination of civic sense, and much needed traffic sense (or road sense) among ourselves. Neither do we have any courtesy or empathy for the fellow commuters, drivers, pedestrians or vehicles plying on the road, nor do we have any willingness to go by the rule books. Heck, we don't even give a damn to our own safety (and that of our own people), forget about the rest. In that sense, it is quite safe to call ourselves plain idiots wandering on the roads with a license to kill or get killed.'

Bang on Bro. As i always like to say, a society gets the traffic it deserves.

[vineethvazhayil]

Great post. Well written and good pictures to boot! Good stuff Sarang.

Originally Posted by Freebird82

Bang on Bro. As i always like to say, a society gets the traffic it deserves.

Indeed. Society gets the traffic it deserves, very true. I remember reading this article a while back - about our behavior on the road and a lot of other things - including how we remember god when we need god's help etc. This was about India as a society and a nation etc. Does anyone have a link to that article?

[t3ofil4us]

Originally Posted by sa_kiran

These idiots annoy other car drivers to move less than a car length ahead. This happens in heavy traffic situations.

Suicide bikers squeeze in on my left and when there is no place for them to squeeze, they honk non-stop! Some other idiots honk from a long distance away, which I can hear even with windows rolled up and music playing!

Has happened with me loads of times when the bridge was still under construction, when i owned just a TVS SCOOTY Streak.
Even though the helmet would insulate most sounds, these honkers would irritate all motorists to no end . Honking away to glory the moment the signal goes green, expecting u to be drag race driver; Expecting us to zoom away the millisecond the light goes green.

[bigwheelz]

How about the ones who don't want to slow down before a speed breaker, pothole or bad road patch? They honk if you slow down and jump their bike/cars over the speed breaker like a moto cross biker. Not sure if the vehicle they drive is their own.
One more addition to the auto rickshaw category are the small 4 wheeler tempos (chota hathi types). They will always occupy the fast lane and never go above 30-40 kph.

[NST440]

Well thats a superb topic, everyday i find these idiots right from the moment i take the car out of my garage & till the time i am back from work, infact i myself was looking forward to put up this topic but i have to admit, i couldn't have done it in such nice manner with great illustrations.

The issue of concern is what is the solution? Is it self improvement, well i for instance try keeping low beams all the time, being polite and follow & respect road rules & manners but believe me 90% of the times i see the same idiotic driving tendencies all around me. Everybody, a rickshaw driver, a scooterist, cab/bus/truck/car driver all tend to give you a feeling that you re lucky today as you have survived them but well for how long?

Though you have put up the issue in a comical satire, i feel real sorry to be on road with these idiots , we face them everyday, without doubts.

[rakesh_r]

Great article mate.Experience all the 7 clauses daily during my office commute.How about adding the "MR Honk happy" idiots to the list. The most frustrating part is when you stop for the red light and the Idiot behind you starts honking.I have learnt to ignore these nowadays as the only thing you do is increase your blood pressure and ruin a completely good day at work.Its easy to say this but very difficult to preach.For the people who jump q's and barge in,sometimes i wished i had a jeep like the Thar,install a good sturdy bull bar,ram at the car that comes in between.

[nkishore_007]

That was excellent write up ! Cheers!

The most saddening fact about such situations is that most of such 'idiots' are our educated lot themselves. I am from the IT hub of the country, and I can let off those ignorant cab/truck drivers thinking they have not gotten their traffic lessons and 'purchased' their driving license. Its the educated lot which frustrates me.

And it takes the frustration to a whole new level, when people do not admit their mistakes and start arguing. It is one of such situations where you do not know whether to laugh at them, or get even more frustrated (its tough to control where we choose to be). :-)

[sandeepmohan]

Originally Posted by sforsarang

Its also a mystery to me why on most occasions people look exactly at the opposite direction only (from where no vehicle is supposed to come as it's a one way lane) while crossing the road.

Why is this a mystery? In a perfect world, Yes; you don't expect something to come down the wrong way. In our country, they always do, especially when you don't look. You really need to do this if you don't want to get killed or hit by a cyclist. Apart from vehicle users, I blame pedestrians, cyclists and pretty much anything that moves on wheels to be a problem. The idiot class off course

Originally Posted by sforsarang

When the train passes and the gates eventually open, both sides juggle to steer clear of the amazing mess that they have themselves created.

There was a time I used to pick up my wife from one such level crossing that sees your description during peak hours. I never had to use the level crossing. I used to park beside it and wait for my wife. In this time of waiting, the level crossing would close. If it ends up staying closed for two trains to go past, the magnitude of chaos after the level crossing opens has to be seen to be believed. This keeps me entertained till the point my wife arrives and even when she does, we can't really go anywhere until the level crossing closes again so we both just watch the madness. It is epic. I looks at this and tell myself, if every motorist had some consideration for the other, things would have been quite different. Unfortunately, this ain't going to happen.

Originally Posted by sforsarang

Now you must be wary of this category of idiots as most likely their antics will lead to fatal or near fatal consequences to either them, you, their vehicle or your vehicle.

On similar lines, there is a new class of pedestrians who love to challenge the oncoming speeding motorist by crossing the road with AN attitude. They see you coming in the distance, they know very well you are at speed and that they can't make it across the road. They know you have the brakes to stop and take the chance. This pedestrian decides to cross the road in an angle that he/she can't see you. You as a motorist can clearly see them and you know at the speed you are traveling, that pedestrian ain't gonna get past you. This as a result raises doubts in the motorist on what to do and eventually leads to a close shave, sometimes a hit. I have experienced this several times. I feel like gunning it for the pedestrian when I see such idiots who cross the road knowing a vehicle is approaching. I agree that designated places to cross the road don't really exist or are too far apart to consider walking all the way up just to cross the road. All I ask from the pedestrian is to look before they bolt across the road.

Originally Posted by sforsarang

You approach a crowded signal which has just turned yellow from green, plan to slow down and stop your car at the junction that's exactly when you find a couple of cars and bikes rushing past you honking insanely in crazy speeds just to be able to cross the junction before the signal turns red.

I have to admit that I do this at times. I am more worried about stopping because the guy behind isn't bothered about the reduction in my pace and ends up rear ending me. It happened as recent as last Saturday. Some bloke thought I was a chick riding a Enfield (cause of my pony sticking out of the jacket) and decided to tail me on his Honda Aviator. We were both headed for the red. I knew I was slowing down but the idiot behind me did not and crashed into my bike taking out a indicator unit. He gave his usual excuse of lack of brakes and my sudden stopping (too old an excuse but you can't do a thing). This lead to a little verbal duel and that was it. I have now decided to carry a hammer in my shoulder bag. Its anyway just rotting in the home tool kit. If someone hits me and breaks something, I use the hammer and break something of yours. Its that simple and we are even since you are anyway not going to pay for the damages. I know this goes against policy but what can you do in this hell hole country where nobody is accountable or held accountable.

Every single example you have given is something we all have to live with. The situation is not going to improve. It gets worse by the day with new found ways to make life more dangerous. Thats the sad truth.

I have to say your wife Niyati knows her way with illustrations really well.

[MHG]

my additions to the list:

The "zebra crossings are for stopping your vehicles during signals" guy
Guys honking at me because I stop right in front of the line in a traffic signal instead of hogging the zebra crossing as everyone else behind expects me to, so that they can get ahead. This one time there was a man gesturing me to go ahead with a "munde hogappa" (kannada for move ahead). I screamed at him at the top of my voice, "Can't you see the goddamned line ? You are supposed to STOP before it." He did not reply, either because he didn't expect a retort from me, or because he didn't follow what I just said, or both.

The "right-most lane is the slow lane (because I'm from the USofA)" guy
Ageing mopeds, overloaded super noisy trucks and autorickshaws hogging the right-most lane while moving at speeds under 40. Autorickshaws in particular move at speeds under 20 when overloaded, with 3 passengers at the rear and 2 seated either side of the driver. And a lot of trucks carrying heavy loads like rocks, construction material, mud, etc make a LOT of noise as their engines struggle to pull the vehicles forward at speeds around 30.

The Super-Cop
While I have seen a lot of cops following traffic rules strictly, riding their apache/pulsar bikes at speeds under 50 and stopping at every signal (and my respects to them for doing so), I have happened to come across a lot who do the exact opposite. They believe that rules are not applicable to the enforcers. They zoom across signals, stop or park anywhere to perform personal errands, stop autorickshaws (already loaded with passengers) so that they can sit next to the driver and get a free ride, etc.

The attitude-filled VIP Politician
Thanks to the "special privileges" given to these lot, they travel with convoys hogging up the whole road while everyone else is prevented from using the road by cops who do their bidding, bully others on highways, treat commoners like dirt and are legally authorized to use really dark sun films so that nobody knows the identity of the "national asset" who is making lives miserable for everyone else.

The "blame the richer guy" mentality
I have seen a lot of incidents on the road where a car that has been following the rules strictly is rear-ended by a bike or collides head-on with a bike suddenly enters into the wrong side of the road and passers by thrash the car driver and the cops arrest/fine him because as always, its the richer guy who is at fault.

So what is my solution to survive in this mess in a way where I neither die nor get blamed for someone's death nor loose a lot of money because of someone else's fault ? Its sort of simple. I travel via office cab (yeah the same guy who causes a lot of accident-like situations with his amazing driving skills) in the morning peak hours (when the general road speeds will be so low that accidents will not (hopefully) result in certain death) or very late in the night (where few other vehicles exist on the road and with me being in the back seat, if the cabbie rear-ends someone/something I'll still hopefully survive as its the front end of the cab that takes maximum damage). I avoid walking on roads with noticeable amount of traffic, and if I do, I do so at the extreme end of the footpath in a direction against oncoming traffic. If I need to cross the road I wait until the road is really empty (have had to wait quite a few minutes at times but its worth it) and prefer crossing with a group or at a signal. I do almost ALL of my shopping online and avoid using the road much at all. People use a lot of adjectives to describe me - paranoid and crazy top the list. But hey, it certainly isn't causing me any major inconvenience and my chances of being alive are higher and I'm happy with it.

Disclaimer: the views expressed in this post are entirely my own and have no binding authority, nor any claim of such. These views do not describe the entire class of people being talked about in general, rather only a subclass comprising of people encountered by the author.

[saket77]

There are one special class of pedestrians too. They have AN attitude! Their ego is higher than the MD of the company which made the vehicle you are travelling in and approaching this guy.
This pedestrian is really cool He sees that you are coming. He might even make it if he crosses the road with his average walking speed. But for no apparent reason, this guy will feel more relaxed on the road than his living room and walk as if he is talking a post dinner walk in his garden. His average speed will decrease to the level of the maximum speed a snail can attain while crossing the road.
You honk, but Bond...James Bond, does not care. He keeps snailing at his the same snail's pace. It's our responsibility to save that idiot from getting killed. Come 'on...you cannot kill someone who is taking his post-dinner walk...does not matter if that was on the road...or does it?

One more Idiot you got to add to your list & that is a 'plugged idiot'. This idiot can be found walking, cycling or on bikes. They have plugged ears...with earphones making sure that all your honks and all other 'useless' noises of the road does not disturbs him and he can win his Grammy next time. That's in National Interest. We got to protect them. Right? My blood literally boils everytime I see the song probably from the movie Sathiya where Vivek Oberoi rides his whatever bike (I really don't care) without a helmet (look...he cares neither!) and to top it all...with headphones (I told you he really does not care). Also the Film Censor Board should have looked into these kind of scenes rather than sitting with just 'cut skin show' type of mentality.

[A350XWB]

Good article sforsarang. I encounter all these kind of drivers everyday on my way to work, even though it's just 6km one way.
Another group of people are those who think that their ORVMs are just optional extras. Many of the cars, bikes, autos and even cyclists never glance at their ORVMs when changing lanes or moving left or right. Most dangerous practice is at the bus stops. If a bus stops there, many people behind the bus just cut in to the right lane without looking whether there is anybody coming from behind. Many a times, I had to stand on my brakes and honk like crazy to avoid accidents.