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-   -   7 Habits of highly effective idiots on Indian roads (https://www.team-bhp.com/forum/road-safety/134551-7-habits-highly-effective-idiots-indian-roads-4.html)

These are somethings that I have noticed:

1) Once the tip of bonnet of the vehicle in the parallel lane is 1 cm ahead of your's then that vehicle have the rights to cut into abruptly into your lane without any signals. This is made true not just by bikers but buses, cars and auto rickshaws as well.

2) In highways, you can see fully laden trucks blocking all lanes, on an uphill. The truck moving at 3 kmph will invariably try to overtake another truck moving at 2 kmph and block all the lanes in that process

3)Absolutely no lane discipline with slow vehicles moving through all lanes of a road

4) Honking as if there is no tomorrow to warn that a speeding vehicle is approaching which is not bound to any rules on the planet. This is true for all cabbies and van drivers

Sarang awesome writeup. It was a pleasure to read your article. Unfortunately I mist admit, i for one have been guilty of the 'me first' attitude at times too (depending on my mood). After reading your article yesterday every time i approached an intersection i remembered this piece guilt ridden.:rules:

Interesting presentation and rightly said. If only all of us have a little more patience...

I have seen in Australia - the driving licence instruction books contain illustrations such as presented by you which make immediate sense and get registered in memory quickly than lot of just text. Even in USA, I didn't see such clear book of instructions.

Huge population, short of infrastructure facilities are definitely a reason for this but these situations could be reduced with proper vigilance, enforcement of penalties, stricter norms in issuing licence to drive etc.

This is a lovely article with beautiful illustrations which depict the sad state of affairs existing in the India where driving is concerned. Totally deserving of a five star rating! Traffic rules and common road courtesy is for lesser mortals. Unfortunately only a minority of us belong to that category in India
A problem like this needs to be addressed by creating awareness and strictly enforcing traffic rules with stiff penalties for offenders. I have seen youngsters riding with earplugs listening to music (The winning argument here is if you can drive listening to music , why cant I ride doing the same?), cops asking you move on despite the redlight so that they can proceed unhindered and riders without helmets weaving intricate patterns amidst heavy traffic unmindful of their own safety and much more that strenghtens your belief in God because survival after every day spent in city traffic is a miracle!
The moment one is on a set of wheels the driver/rider becomes a fierce and totally selfish brute with no concern for anybody's safety including his own! Are we as a nation doomed to be a race of inglorious riders/drivers or is there any salavation from this rot?
Regards,
Ashok

Thanks Nitin, you're really lucky if you face these morons only on Saturdays, at least you got 6 days free of stress which is great !

Thanks chakri400, hellmet, even I must have surfaced on one or two or maybe more of the categories I see it as really difficult to be 'doodh ka dhula' here in India. Patience is the key to transform from an idiot to a sensible person at the same times patience is the key to transform from an 'always stressed and pissed off sensible rule abiding common man on the road' to a 'detached and emotionless, senseless robot ignoring everything and commuting point to point !'

Kiloalpha, another angle to it is, when the bike stops right at the middle of the road due to some technical fault, the biker, instead of first taking his vehicle to the leftmost 'shoulder' lane, tries then and there in the middle to kickstart without bothering about the traffic that's halted behind him.

Thanks Arvind, I guess this confusion might be arising from the fact that indicators are used to indicate you are turning as well as I have seen them being used to indicate you can overtake. I still don't know what separates these two indications from the other driver point of view. Any idea how to identify this?

Thanks and you're spot on doc, the problem is, as someone wrote somewhere, we Indians are privately smart, publicly dumb ... While on roads, we aren't worried about accidents, mishaps etc., we are worried about 'saving''.. it can be money, time, efforts but never lives...sadly

Thanks Pyrodrive, I guess the bicycle riders on a 4 lane highway think that their ride occupies only 5% of the huge road so it's safe no matter where they ride it !

Mayuresh, frustrating aspect of this is mostly on a steep climb or ghat region this mind blowing phenomenon happens and wastes your half an hour for nothing !

SDP, sorry if I sound cynical and pessimistic, but even if such technology comes in reality, Indians will find ways to bypass or make a fool of it in no time !

Thanks Ghodlur, with absolutely zero intention of making fun of the health condition itself, I would say they are under the category 'Spondilitis Prone' idiots. I mean, out of curiosity I tried on an empty stretch, driving a bike with neck twisted as if I am talking on a mobile (simulated without cellphone obviously) and found that we just can't stay balanced on the vehicle at the same time in that position..

Thanks NVP, I guess for a bigger vehicle it would be difficult to take a U turn while turning from extreme right lane (nearest to the divider) and thats why probably they steer to left and then take U ?

Mnjdnght, You nailed it ! Ours is a very old and evolved socio-economic culture and we have absolutely conquered all loopholes in the systems to suit to our needs and screwing up others necessities at the same time

Thanks Sukhoi, as I have said somewhere else, my expectation from this post is, if after going through all our discussions, one person drives sanely and sympathetically for even a day, the goal is achieved. I personally thank team-bhp for my own improvement (although I am still not there, long way to go) but specially the 'street experiences' section makes me introspect and the 'accidents in India' keeps me grounded even while driving big vehicles. I go through them almost daily without fail although many times it's not a good start to the morning reading those, but I would prefer safer mornings than good mornings.

travelwriter, this especially happens when you attempt to overtake a premium vehicle or luxury sedans or big SUVs, I never mess with them, they are humble, their drivers aren't !

Thanks desmocedici, I didn't want to mention it but you know what, with the exact scenario as you have mentioned, there was a life lost near the Gachibowli junction flyover where the bike rider just couldn't make up his mind whether or not to take the flyover, and at the last moment, changes lanes in speed without looking back to avoid the flyover, and ran over by...tipper

Thanks Alpha1, I agree with you, having stringent laws is one thing and having stringent law enforcement practices is another. We have former, we need the latter.

t3ofil4us, thanks ! Sometimes I just want to bash the guy who invented '3-wheelers'. I request bajaj and piaggio to manufacture 4 wheeled autos... these autowallahs take undue advantage of the third wheel and turn like crazy from anywhere like a dog swagging behind its own tail doing roundabouts ...

Of course this is not fiction, thanks so much !! that was hilarious and I bet all NCR folks would be on the same page... I found the similar ones in MP too..although I guess more or less it applies to whole of India

'Nut crackers' idiots... coz they are nuts, and their vehicles are going to be mere 'crackers' sooner or later if they continue such rampage !

Thanks NST440, as I mentioned above, the solution lies in stringent law enforcements, we need to put really big materialistic things at stake for such stupids. Unfortunately the biggest thing which remains at stake i.e. Life is of no importance to them.

Thanks Rakesh, you were too generous mentioning about the Thar, I wanted a hummer, or at best, road roller to run over these morons' vehicles (without morons on them) at least once

Super Thread ! There's one more idiot who's been referred to in other threads : Our superhero who drives with his ORVMs folded. A Maha-Idiot to say the least. I cruise over 100 km every day in city and highway traffic. Having seen all the aforementioned idiots ( man, and they keep coming on in hordes !) , I've realized there's just nothing one can do other than move on. Swearing and confrontation leads nowhere and one's just wasting time. The people of this country ( me included) just arent disciplined enough. Conversely, the uncontrolled growth in population has resulted in slack policing and little or no enforcement of rules. :rules:
The establishment just doesnt have that sort of manpower to ensure road rules are followed.
In sticky situations, I manage to save my beloved car, take a deep breath, thank the Ooperwallah for saving both idiots (me included...... since relatively both parties think the other is an Idiot !) and move on.
Do we have a choice ? This probably does reek of a fatalist attitude but what to do ?

In south India, Hyderabad takes the cake in moronic driving habits, closely followed by Chennai. I have found traffic in Mumbai to be much much more disciplined than Chennai, inspite of the density of traffic being higher there. Some people act so foolishly that we tend to believe that they were born without a brain.

Hi Everybody,

Boy am I glad to see my favorite topic being discussed. I have blogged about our roads, traffic, and the people involved previously. Pasting the blog:

Traffic rules: (Or how the traffic rules should be framed in order to stop from arresting almost everyone on the roads for traffic violations):

Another important task that I have agreed to humbly undertake on my own initiative as our legislators are busy discussing the john bloke paul bill in parliament and elsewhere. There have been important changes in traffic rulez, which have to be publicized.
Traffic light rulez update:

1. Vehicles are no longer required to take cognizance of zebra crossings (annoying white lines painted on roads).

2. Drivers should note that it is now legal to pass when the traffic light just turned red when you reach the zebra crossing. Vehicles slowing, stopped or otherwise standing during this time at crossings will incur huge fines as this kind of activity can result in accidents.

3. Traffic light stops: People wanting to turn right must be placed at the left corner of the road when waiting for lights to change and viceversa. This will confuse terrorist car bombers who our police can quickly identify and apprehend. An additional aesthetic advantage is that the maps will show a beautiful traffic pattern when the google satellites picture Indian traffic.
NOTE: Post the John Bloke Paul bill discussion, parliament will take up the important debate of phasing out traffic lights permanently
Overtaking rulez update:
1. Drivers are now authorized to keep up incessant honking to make the driver in front give way. Although this is considered an offense and poor etiquette if the person driving the car in front is on the phone.
2. It is now legal to overtake from the left side. The previously available areas to overtake(top, down, right and center) will continue to remain valid.
3. Drivers are now no longer required to signal traffic maneuvers via light signals. The “Niraadhar” scheme has implanted telepathy chips in all Indians, so if you just do it, you are assured that the driver behind you has already understood your intent through the telepathic signal. Hand signals can still be used.
4. Objects in the rear view mirror are (f)actually farther than they look, so the car you see in the side rear view mirror is really very far away and you can change lanes, no problem. Vehicle manufacturers have been informed to correct the text etched on the ORVM to display the correct message to vehicle drivers.
General rulez update:

1. Tailgating (drafting) is now a legal activity and considered to be prudent fuel saving technique and must be applied by all wherever possible.
2. Pedestrians are hereby ordered to cross roads by dodging traffic. Due to the notification received from UNESCO, FOBs(foot over bridges) are now accorded national monument status and pedestrians can no longer use foot over bridges.
3. Wrong side driving has been legalized as research has shown that it helps people get to their destinations faster and promotes saving of fuel as well as keeps traffic speeds below 10kmph. Citizens are especially encouraged to do so in highways and expressways to keep accidents in check. This is also useful for foren returned Indians who are used to opposite traffic.
4. Parking on roads
5. All vehicles have been accorded a level of priority to help road users understand right of way. In descending order:
i. Buses (also accorded license to kill)
ii. Trucks (License to kill renewed)
iii. Auto
iii. SUV taxi
iv. SUV
v. Stray animals
vi. Cycles
vii. All other vehicles(cars and bikes).
viii. Annoying emergency vehicles such as ambulances, fire engines and police vehicles have been accorded the last priority on roads. Citizens are to block the passage of these vehicles as this is now considered a fundamental civic duty.
NOTE: VIP vehicles continue to enjoy their KOTR (king Of The Road) status.
p.s: This was specially important since most of the practices described above are widely accepted and expected. What better than to actually frame traffic rules to include them so that we can go on doing it without fear ??



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If you like it, I have other entries for kinds of bikers and how important pot holes are for the country.:)

Sarang, I must say that you are one among the very lucky commuters who have come across well mannered drivers who signal to you using their indicators allowing you to overtake them clap:.

I have never been able to identify such drivers till date in my daily commute. Meantime, using indicators as signal for overtaking could be highly risky when there is more than one driver behind the person who is initiating the signal. This could lead to a confusion and the riders behind the vehicle cornering to one spot and getting into a crash.

If I can add to list of "****". Anyone living in bangalore will testify. BMTC buses or rather their drivers. For some reason, they always move in the top lane of the road. Obviously they have those Volvo engines to keep up with traffic but then they have to move to leftmost lane to let people out and pick some up as well. And because bus stops are pretty closely spaced, they end up in an endless snake movement.

They will not let you overtake, pass or give you space. I have seen 2km jams because some Volvo tried to pull out of bus stop right into top lane

Lovely thread Sarang. Stephen Covey will be so proud :D

As a highly effective idiot on the road, I will:
- Wait till the motorist in front of me signals a lane change then speed up to prevent him from executing it.
- If said motorist manages to change lanes, tailgate him and flash lights to display my righteous anger at him
- If said motorist changes lanes suddenly and without indication, honk and wave fist at him anyway.
- If a pedestrian starts crossing well ahead of where I am driving, increase my speed and make every attempt to beat him to it.
- Even if the guy in the fast lane aheadof me is maintaining an appropriate speed, flash him repeatedly and tailgate him till he moves over so that I can overtake. That is my God given right especially if I am a big white SUV.

The saddest part is when the idiot happens to have a T-BHP sticker and I console myself that it might not a t-bhpian and just some nut who bought the stickers.

You did not try that with a helmet, otherwise you would have agreed. Have seen many bikers with mobile stuffed inside the helmet (not bluetooth or wirefree one, actual mobiles). The trouble is when the call is over and they try to retrieve the mobile while moving. Thats when they struggle and start to move lanes. Once such an incident happened when I was driving with a biker in front of my vehicle and the guy started swaggering and stopped dead right in the lane to retrieve the fallen mobile. I had to brake real hard only to get a deep stare from the biker, no apologies absolutely from the crazy guy. :Frustrati

Firstly Very well written. You should take up writing if you already haven't.

Secondly ,Another idiot on the road, whom i had the pleasure of meeting personally other day.

He was in a left lane moving at snail's pace. I honked and started to overtake him. He takes a sharp right with no indicator or hand signal. I hard brake and avoid a collision. I roll down my window and ask him what was he doing. He says, "I live that side" . :Shockked:. I mean , how am I supposed to know your house and you have the right to turn to your house as and when you want to ? What about an indication. . He says " dude, i looked at you and signalled " .. Essentially he did that eye movement to indicate his intention. And im at guilt for not reading his sign language.

To you sir, I dedicate this that I saw in FB yesterday.

Hello Sarang,

Wonderful write up & humour. Appreciate your writing skills. You have described the sorry state on Indian roads in a very light & eye opening manner.

Regarding "Hide & Seek" Idiots: See what recently happened near SEEPZ, Mumbai: http://www.thehindu.com/todays-paper...cle4334136.ece

Six women alighted from BEST Bus & started crossing the road from front side of the Bus, while the Bus was still waiting on bus stop. Now the Taxi Driver coming at high speed (as the road is a steep downward slope) could not predict that someone will suddenly emerge from front side of the bus & hit them. Two of these women died & 4 other were injured.

Further as mentioned by you, vehicle owner always assumed to be at fault, the driver of the taxi in above accident was arrested, tested for drunk driving & was caught in other legal issues.

Let us pray God that we are never in trouble due to Hide & Seek idiots on Indian roads.

Thanks,