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Old 20th September 2021, 16:41   #31
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Default Re: Regaining confidence to drive, after an accident

I've been through a similar experience back in my late teens. It wasn't easy for me to come out of it.

After the incident, I gave up driving for more than a year. Even after I resumed driving ever-so-hesitantly, I was a pale shadow of the newly minted teenage driver brimming with confidence that I used to be.

Consistent moral support helped me tide over this. However, the main problem for me was the constant nagging fear at the back of my mind that I would get into an accident any moment I'm on the road. This FEAR, I feel, is the biggest hurdle to getting back to normalcy, and it's one that could only be overcome by oneself. It may take varying amounts of time for different people, but with consistent support and encouragement, I believe one should be able to eventually tide through it.

In short, please keep on encouraging her to overcome her fear and expect her to take her own time in finally breaking the barrier.
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Old 20th September 2021, 18:21   #32
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Default Re: Regaining confidence to drive, after an accident

I broke my femur 10 years back crashing my 1985 Bullet. 8 months after the surgery i started driving car. 3 months after that i started riding my Bullet after getting it repaired properly.
5 months after that i completely abandoned riding 2 wheelers altogether. Even if i get extreme craving for riding a 2 wheeler i just dont touch them. It is a very conscious decision although i hate this decision. I drive the 4 wheeler whenever necessary even for the shortest distances and i feel like i am doing something right.
My suggestion would be unless one is completely sure of doing a thing again after an accident, one shouldn't do it. One can always use Olas and Ubers. Why push it if one is not passionate enough to pursue again or it is an utter need.

As they say, everyone falls, some get up, some can't, some don't!

If it were my decision to make I'd leave it on the individual to decide whether to drive again or not. Or as someone suggested above, seek professional counselling. It is the most logical thing to do.
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Old 21st September 2021, 19:54   #33
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Default Re: Regaining confidence to drive, after an accident

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Originally Posted by docsr View Post
So how can I help her regain her confidence?
Haven't you driven long trips after that with your daughter? I think, ideally she should have gained enough confidence by now since you mentioned that it was more than 6 months back. Anyway you can give her some more time, also understand what her real problem is instead of "assuming" what her real issue is. Without knowing the real issue, we can't find the solution and we will be beating around the bush. Don't get me wrong , if you take her to a good psychologist and give a good counseling, I am sure , she will start driving very soon. All the best and hope to see you and your daughter on the road with a very happy face , of course you being on passenger seat

Last edited by Salnv : 21st September 2021 at 19:57.
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Old 23rd September 2021, 06:23   #34
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Default Re: Regaining confidence to drive, after an accident

I had a similar experience recently. I was involved in a car crash where the other party ended up with a head injury that resulted in a surgery to save her life. I realised that I was leery about driving my old i10 again, even though the accident was not my fault. Having to run to police stations and courts did not make it easier.
For a while, all I could think of was how I could have avoided that crash. It preyed on my mind for almost a week.
I remember talking about to my brother about it and how he explained his own experiences and basically coaxed me into taking baby steps after a month or so - like going short distances with the car like buying groceries and so on. Soon I regained confidence in my driving again and was able to drive for another 300-km trip later, albeit at much lower speeds than usual. I specifically remember that my parents were freaking out more than me and their awkward attempts to reassure me that accidents are normal did not really help at all, though I did recognise their good intentions.
If not for recovering through the regular chats with my brother, I would have sought a psychiatrist's help to overcome this, though I must say that even seeking therapy is still considered to be social taboo with several parts of India.
I would suggest giving your daughter space, most of all. Let her work through her emotions and feelings and then encourage her to sit in the car as a passenger for long rides. Do not force her to do anything, kids that age are astonishingly resilient and will bounce back soon.
Not sure if that helped, but good luck to you and your daughter.
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Old 23rd September 2021, 11:25   #35
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Default Re: Regaining confidence to drive, after an accident

I think you should let your daughter take her time to get back behind the wheel. And keep re assuring her that the accident was not her fault.
I had a quite serious accident when I was 18 and driving a Trax 8 seater when the vehicle flipped over after hitting a milestone and rolled around as I tried to avoid a drunk cyclist who just came perpendicular in front of the vehicle . It was quite traumatic and no fault of mine. Thankfully no one had any major injuries, I just blacked out for a bit.
My family reassured me again and again that it was not my fault and gave me the confidence to get behind the wheel again.
It took me a couple of months and I started with a different vehicle, but finally got over the accident after a few months. It was early learning that in our country we have a lot of idiots on the road and that experience has kept me a reasonably safe driver.

She will get over it, but do think of a way to get her back to the front seat, if not the driver's seat to get over the incident to start with. If music is something she enjoys play some tracks to keep her mind in a relaxed state. This works for me. Once she is comfortable its only a matter of time she starts driving again.
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Old 27th September 2021, 21:39   #36
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Default Re: Regaining confidence to drive, after an accident

Dear Fellow T-bhpians,
I am truly touched by the number of replies, warmth and understanding that you all have demonstrated in your messages. Just another reiteration of what a wonderful forum this is.
I have taken all the various suggestions on board. I will slowly encourage her to take the wheel in controlled conditions initially, and then go from there.
I am confident now, that like most of you, she too will regain confidence and take to the wheel with ease.
Thanks again guys.
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