[basky]

Originally Posted by GordonGekko

Indian/South Asian societies are extremely sexually repressed. Hence the cause for such silly practices.

There is a direct co-relation between sexual repression and female infanticide.

Repression is the order of the day and the main factor is economic and a power game by males and by indoctrination, older women in the household.

Give girls the same opportunity and level of education and let them be financially independent. Parents will still have the say but the girl has the choice of saying NO. Most males are still uncomfortable if their wives earn more and worse if wives have (total or some) control over their own earnings. It has to be a partnership with joint understanding of their plans for the future. Dont want a world of hen pecked husbands either.

The one instrument which has changed the way young people interact is the mobile phone, which has encouraged a slow breaking up of traditional communication barriers. Let us hope for a better world for women (and men).

[ranjitp1]

Originally Posted by kiku007

Surprising fact, during adoption people prefer girl babies. Apparently girls are much more affectionate and I totally )

Well not quite sure,waiting periods for a boy baby in India is close to 4 years whereas for a baby girl is around 1year!Reason?because boys are seen as sources of income for the parents and so would never be given away whereas girls are looked down upon as means of expenditure.!

[selfdrive]

Originally Posted by ranjitp1

Well not quite sure,waiting periods for a boy baby in India is close to 4 years whereas for a baby girl is around 1year!Reason?

Not sure of the current situation but one of my cousins was adopted around 15 years ago. At that time, I distinctly remember my uncle stating in a family discussion that there were more boys there up for adoption but most people chose to adopt girls. I am not sure if:
- this was due to the city (Mumbai). Perhaps things may be different in other cities/ rest of India
- it may depend on age groups. I assume most adopting parents would want to adopt infants so they can be integrated better into the family/ some other reasons which I was not told at that age!
- the adopting family already has a child they may want to balance by adopting one from the other gender?
- demographics have just plain changed in 15 years

[ranjitp1]

Originally Posted by selfdrive

Not sure of the current situation but one of my cousins was adopted around 15 years ago. At that time, I distinctly remember my uncle stating in a family discussion that there were more boys there up for adoption but most people chose to adopt girls. I am not sure if:
- this was due to the city (Mumbai). Perhaps things may be different in other cities/ rest of India
- it may depend on age groups. I assume most adopting parents would want to adopt infants so they can be integrated better into the family/ some other reasons which I was not told at that age!
- the adopting family already has a child they may want to balance by adopting one from the other gender?
- demographics have just plain changed in 15 years

Current situation is bleaker.There are just no babies available for adoption at all,whereas there are more and more kids coming out onto the streets on a daily basis and CARA(which is the official adoption body in India)says more adoptions are taking place which is a complete eyewash!

The latest is the nexus between doctors and patients which "saves" patients the trouble of adoption.

A doctor has a patient who cannot conceive and the same doctor also has a case of an "unwed" mother who does not want the baby.Its a case of unearthing a gold mine for the doctor!The doctor helps the unwed mother deliver the baby and on the records put the name of the lady who cant conceive as the biological mother.There you have it--everybody happy and doctor pockets humongous amounts of money and the law and adoption process be damned

[noopster]

Ranjit- I am pretty sure the situation you have outlined is the truth, as much as I'd want to believe the reverse (i.e. parents adopting female children out of choice) is the reality. India still has a LONG way to go before we can call ourself progressive, especially on the societal front.

But from personal experience, a couple of people I know who've adopted have chosen female children. A couple I know have adopted TWO. Another friend who already has a (biological) son is going to adopt a daughter soon.

It's wonderful to think there are people like this in our midst. Kudos to them!

[basky]

Have been off this thread for too long. Apologies.

Originally Posted by ranjitp1

waiting periods for a boy baby in India is close to 4 years whereas for a baby girl is around 1year! because boys are seen as sources of income for the parents and so would never be given away whereas girls are looked down upon as means of expenditure.!

Girls are earning quite some now. Many of them out earn their husbands.

Originally Posted by selfdrive

boys there up for adoption but most people chose to adopt girls.

Really good thing!

Originally Posted by ranjitp1

There are just no babies available for adoption at all,whereas there are more and more kids coming out onto the streets on a daily basis and CARA says more adoptions are taking place which is a complete eyewash!

Yes the number of kids up for adoption is low and the adoption agencies encourage the adoption of younger children. Older children miss the boat. Their outlook is bleak in State care.

Originally Posted by ranjitp1

The latest is the nexus between doctors and patients which "saves" patients the trouble of adoption.

In India, for every problem, they end up with a draconian law and mind boggling set of rules and also new avenues for corruption.
Our ingenious Indians come out with another route to by pass this problem. Sharp practices are common in India but most of the new generation of Doctors are reasonably sensitized to the issues involved. But there will always be rotten apples who misuse the system for personal benefit. In my part of the country, this would not work smoothly as someone will certainly squeal, putting the whole 'operation' into jeopardy. Also, as MTP is quite easily available, most unplanned pregnancies are terminated safely - resulting in fewer babies for adoption overall.

Originally Posted by noopster

But from personal experience, a couple of people I know who've adopted have chosen female children.
It's wonderful to think there are people like this in our midst. Kudos to them!

Simply Great! Two couples, friends of mine adopted little baby girls who grew up to be lovely young ladies nearing their mid-twenties and happily married. The attitude of the parents in seeking adoption nearly 25 years ago and bringing up the kids to be part of society is commendable.

The Girl child is inherently stronger and more resilient. Some 17 years ago, when my wife was doing her residency for her MD in (OBG) at Sassoon Hospitals, BJMC Pune, she encountered discrimination of the female newborns by their mothers . The girl child was rarely fed and left uncovered -possibly in the hope the kids will die in the cold. The staff & doctors used to take extra effort (mind you it is a Govt teaching hospital) to look after the newborns and invariably, the hardy kids survived. What fate awaited them at their new homes is just open to speculation. Hopefully, things have changed for the better with the passing of time and slow change in attitudes.

In Kerala, parents are quite happy with the girl child. True, many still would like a son too, but the general feeling is that boys leave home while the girls remain somewhere nearby. Even that has changed with the IT boom - the girls are moving ahead faster than their male counterparts.

Thank God for the beautiful Girls. The world would have been a dull place without their presence.

[noopster]

Lovely post, Basky. I agree wholeheartedly and stick to my stand that parents/grandparents who crave male children don't know what they're missing!

The title of this thread should more aptly be "Celebrating the Girl Child" if the OP agrees. On that note, Happy New Year to all!

[jai-uno-t]

sorry to bring this old thread back from history, but just seen Aamir Khans new show, Satyamev Jayate, as it's only just made it over here. Brave move to open a series with such a subject, and whilst i have no doubt there will much debate, outcry and wringing of hands, i still have no doubt that what tiny little change will come, will take forever, and be blocked at every turn by those invested in keeping things the way they are, for whatever reason they use to help them sleep at night.

[selfdrive]

Its a girl! yay, I did have the X factor

Its a totally awesome feeling to be a father to a girl. One that I always wanted to experience! Now I can venture into the frocks section

[comfortablynumb]

Originally Posted by selfdrive

Its a girl! yay, I did have the X factor

Its a totally awesome feeling to be a father to a girl. One that I always wanted to experience! Now I can venture into the frocks section

Awesome! Many Congratulations to you and the missus! So, which misal place are we having the treat?

Cheers,
Vikram

[jai-uno-t]

Congratulations! best wishes, and hope all are doing well. Your biggest issue may well be finding a colour other than pink when you reach for a new set of clothes!

[noopster]

Originally Posted by noopster

The title of this thread should more aptly be "Celebrating the Girl Child" if the OP agrees.

I went ahead and made the change. The original title was too depressing

selfdrive- mazel tov! Join the club.

[Fordmanchau]

Did I stumbled onto this thread with a purpose

Originally Posted by selfdrive

Its a girl! yay, I did have the X factor

Its a totally awesome feeling to be a father to a girl. One that I always wanted to experience! Now I can venture into the frocks section

Congratulations Selfdrive!!Hope the mother and baby is doing good.

We too were blessed with a little cutie on 28th July. And like you , we will also now venture to the girls section and pick up some frocks for our little darling. Girls bring so much color to your life. Can't express how happy we are to have her.

[yosbert]

Originally Posted by jai-uno-t

Your biggest issue may well be finding a colour other than pink when you reach for a new set of clothes!

Couldn't agree more! Why do we stereotype gender with a particular color?

Congratulations selfdrive. Exciting times ahead.

[vsi]

Removing [Font] tags, please avoid copy pasting from external font editors. Thanks.

hearty congratulations.. my best wishes to you and your family..

I still remember the day when my cutie was born.. our family was like “it had to be a girl”,

Was in delhi at that time and wife had gone to her parents home for the delivery..

The day is still fresh in my memories..


F.I.L. called me at 14.30 hrs that they are admitting her.


The last train on that day was at 15.30 hrs to Jabalpur. I rushed from my office to the rly stn without any luggage and spare clothes.

Only to find out that there was a tremendous rush of people in the general category counter.

I said to myself, lets board the train without the ticket and when the TC comes, I will explain to him the complete truth and pay the fine.

So only with a bottle of water in my trousers pocket, I boarded the Gondwana express. Was so scared that I did not ate anything..

It was around 5.30 in the evening, and I reached the mathura station that again I got call from my inlaws . I was praying like anything to god that please bless us with a girl child.. and hoolah hoolah.. horrey..

My father law said that it is a girl and the rest is history I suppose.. I slept at around 9pm only to find out in the morning that a flying squad came in the night and people who were sitting around, quite a few did not had ticket and they were escorted by the rly police. Luckily since I was in my full official attire (complete formal suit with a tie), they thought that I may be having the ticket and did not bother to wake me, and because of the luck my cutie pie had brought with her, I was saved.
Well that is an another story..

Since mine was a premature birth (8th month), doctors didn’t allowed to bring her out of the observation room.. Had to wait for 1 full weak before I could take her in my lap.. nurses used to call her “LAL BUJHAKKAD”, since she used to get red when crying..

The feeling is absolutely special..