|
>Two fish swim into a concrete wall.
>One turns to the other and says "dam"
>**********
>Two peanuts walk into a bar
>One was a salted.
>**********
>A jump-lead walks into a bar.
>The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."
>**********
>A sandwich walks into a bar.
>The barman says, "Sorry - we don't serve food in here."
>**********
>A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
>**********
>A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and
>says: "A beer please, and one for the road."
>**********
>Two aerials meet on a roof, fall in love get married.
>The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was brilliant.
>**********
>Two cannibals are eating a clown.
>One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"
>**********
>"Doc, I can't stop singing 'The green, green grass of home'." That
>sounds like Tom Jones syndrome." "Is it common?" "It's not unusual."
>
>
>**********
>Two cows standing next to each other in a field, Daisy says to
>Dolly:
>"I was artificially inseminated this morning."
>"I don't believe you," said Dolly.
>"It's true, no bull!"
>**********
>A guy walks into the psychiatrist wearing only Glad Wrap shorts.
>The shrink says, "Well, I can clearly see you're nuts."
>
>
>**********
>Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar.
>One says, "I've lost my electron."
>The other says, "Are you sure?"
>The first replies, "Yes, I'm positive..."
>**********
>Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bullsh#t before.
>**********
>A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet and says, "My dog's
>cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him? "Well," says the
>vet, "let's have a look at him". So he picks the dog up and
>examines his eyes, then checks his teeth. Finally, he says "I'm
>going to have to put him down." "What? Because he's cross-eyed?"
>"No, because he's really heavy"
>
>
>**********
>Apparently 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese and there are 5
>people in my family, so it must be one of them. It's either my mum
>or my dad......or maybe my older brother Colin, or my younger
>brother Ho-Cha-Chu, but I'm pretty sure it's Colin.
>
>
>**********
>I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't
>find any.
>**********
>I went to the butchers the other day and I bet him 50 quid that he
>couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf. And he said, "No, the
>steaks are too high."
>
>
>**********
>My friend drowned in a bowl of muesli.
>He was pulled in by a strong currant.
>*********
>A man walks into doctor's office.
>"What seems to be the problem?" asks the doc.
>"It's... um... well... I have five penises." replies the man.
>"Blimey!" says the doctor, "How do your trousers fit?" "Like a
>glove."
>
>
>**********
>What do you call a fish with no eyes?
>A fsh
>********
>Two fish are in a tank
>One says to the other "I'll man the guns, you drive" | 
20th April 2004, 14:52
