[mayankk]

Raise your hand if you know how this rolls....

How to Give a Cat a Pill

1. Pick up the cat and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.

2. Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process.

3. Retrieve cat from bedroom and throw away soggy pill.

4. Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm, holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.

5. Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call spouse in from garden.

6. Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws. Ignore fierce growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold cat's head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously.

7. Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines and vases from hearth and set to one side for gluing later.

8. Wrap cat in a large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with cat's head just visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of a drinking straw, force cat's mouth open with pencil and blow down straw.

9. Check label to make sure pill is not harmful to humans. Apply Band-aid to spouse's forearm and remove blood from the carpet with soap and water.

10. Retrieve cat from neighbour's shed. Get another pill. Place cat in cupboard and close door onto neck, so as to leave the head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band.

11. Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back on hinges. Apply cold compress to cheek and check date of last tetanus jab. Throw tee-shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.

12. Call fire department to retrieve the cat from tree across the road. Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil wrap.

13. Tie the little cat's front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of the dining table. Find heavy pruning gloves from shed. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of fillet steak. Be rough about it. Hold head vertical and pour 2 pints of water down cat's throat to wash down pill.

14. Consume remainder. Get spouse to drive you to the ER sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill from your eye. Call furniture shop on way home to order a new table.

15. Arrange for RSPCA to collect the mutant cat from hell and ring local pet shop to see whether they have any hamsters.

How to give a dog a pill:

1. Wrap it in any type of food

[Prowler]

Originally Posted by mayankk

Raise your hand if you know how this rolls....

How to Give a Cat a Pill



15. Arrange for RSPCA to collect the mutant cat from hell and ring
local pet shop to see whether they have any hamsters.



How to give a dog a pill:

1. Wrap it in any type of food

Good Grief ! You should have put a caution note in the beginning. I spilled my coffee on the keyboard.
I can relate to your cat experience and the dog experience too. Quite Hilarious.

[penpusher]

Originally Posted by mayankk

Raise your hand if you know how this rolls....

How to Give a Cat a Pill

This should be in the official jokes thread

[motorpsycho]

Originally Posted by mayankk

Raise your hand if you know how this rolls....

How to Give a Cat a Pill





How to give a dog a pill:

1. Wrap it in any type of food

Missed 1 point- Wear motorcycle leather riding gear when dealing with the Cat.

[Chetan_Rao]

Originally Posted by motorpsycho

Missed 1 point- Wear motorcycle leather riding gear when dealing with the Cat.

Not if you love your gear, you dont

[TheTeacher]

Originally Posted by mayankk

Raise your hand if you know how this rolls....

How to Give a Cat a Pill

Awesome description; been through this! Now I just take them to the vet when they need to be given a pill and spend the time and money for it. Not easy getting them into the covered basket, though, and putting up with the howling in the car.

[kippu]

Guys , just a curious question , I am getting a shih tzu in a couple of weeks so wanted to get everything in order before that , for starters , vacuum cleaner , which ones would you recommend to keep the hair off from sofas and car seats?

[mayankk]

Originally Posted by kippu

Guys , just a curious question , I am getting a shih tzu in a couple of weeks so wanted to get everything in order before that , for starters , vacuum cleaner , which ones would you recommend to keep the hair off from sofas and car seats?

None!
Best you can do is regular cleanups with any of them, just to keep the hair at acceptable levels. Brush daily to keep in check for a bit more.
Have you had a dog before?

[condor]

Originally Posted by mayankk

Raise your hand if you know how this rolls....

How to Give a Cat a Pill

Mayank ! I am reporting your post !!!
The post should have a disclaimer "not to be read unless hands are completely free ! Especially hazardous if read when drinking / eating etc !


Super post ! I just read it, and you made my day !

[kippu]

Originally Posted by mayankk

None!
Best you can do is regular cleanups with any of them, just to keep the hair at acceptable levels. Brush daily to keep in check for a bit more.
Have you had a dog before?

yes , but those were before i was married and so i never mind the hair fall

now i have to keep the house clean

[mayankk]

Originally Posted by condor

Mayank ! I am reporting your post !!!
The post should have a disclaimer "not to be read unless hands are completely free ! Especially hazardous if read when drinking / eating etc !


Super post ! I just read it, and you made my day !

Why, Thank you!
But its the reality of having pets.
You keep dogs, and Cats keep you.

Originally Posted by kippu

yes , but those were before i was married and so i never mind the hair fall

now i have to keep the house clean

Well, so you know. You can have at most 3-4 days of exemplary cleaning, picking up each and every hair, and then its a hair-pulling exercise, your own, finding it in the most inopportune of places. All the best with the effort.
PS:Shitzhu, youre buying?

[kippu]

yes , after extensive research I found that shihtzu shed the least so I am going from boxers ,dalmatians and labs to shih tzu, the toy breed . Well any dog is better than none and I am sure my kid is going to enjoy her childhood

[Prowler]

Originally Posted by mayankk

Raise your hand if you know how this rolls....

How to Give a Cat a Pill

Thank you mayankk. I could see from the reference to the RSPCA that the original story was from UK and I followed that to the book 'The Biggest Joke Book Ever" by Jack Jacoby.

Bought the ebook. A real treasure that book.

[absynthguzzler]

Guys,

Im on the lookout for a smooth haired fox-terrier pup. If any of you'll know of someone or have one , please let me know.

Our family has been rearing terriers since the 40's and always had over half a dozen of them at any given time. Off late , we've noticed that the new line of pups are loosing some of the traditional terrier traits and wished to find a good lineage to introduce into our group.

Collection and proper upkeep during transportation will be our responsibility.

Cheers
Arun

[Kumar R]

Here is our resident tabby, now about 2 years old, who strayed into our house compound 18 months ago as a miserable and starving kitten and promptly adopted us. Now he's a well-fed miniature bengal tiger who can dispatch an entire 2 kg raw chicken in 5 days, roams around our compound and garden at will, knows how to push the door open to enter the house, communicates a fair bit and enjoys the occasional bath-in-a-bucket.



We have never had a cat before and my parents have a negative perception about them being aloof and opportunistic. This one, is however, extraordinarily affectionate and very attached to our house / garden / car / PC keyboard (not in that order) and is extremely well-behaved and docile for a stray that was not (apparently) hand reared by humans.

Another, older photo, of him jumping onto the roof of our M800 -- seems to be a convenient shortcut to the ground floor.