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Old 3rd June 2014, 19:54   #1
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Communication/behavioral quirks in India?

Some lighter but quirky stuff where direct communication is missing probably because it has been traditionally so:

1) A relative or friend invites us to his/her marriage. We know for sure that we will not be able to make it. The custom is not to communicate it clearly but to say "zaroor avoonga". Few Indians would say "Sorry, I won't be able to make it for so and so reason" as it can be interpreted as apathetic

2) Doctors who diagnose patients as having a terminal disease do not communicate it directly. They prefer say everything is almost fine to the patient but communicate the facts to the relatives

3) Bad news of a death is conveyed to relatives as the deceased being unwell or serious and the relatives should start asap

4) For a birthday party or marriage reception, people are usually given a time which is half or even one full hour earlier than the actual start time of the function. I have seen incidents where invitees turning up at the rightly invited time but host missing from the venue only to arrive late

Behavior or communication is somewhat roundabout in these cases. I am not sure if it because of sober thinking or unconscious imitation from the patterns observed in the past. Keen to know what others think.

Other end of the spectrum is where prejudices galore and behavior or communication becomes complex, assertive or even aggressive, as experienced by Gabriel. We would have commonly seen this behavioral pattern by power centers, be it a peon in RTO's office or babus in the bureaucracy. They expect to be simply revered for reasons not so easy to grasp for the commoner.

Requesting fellow bloggers to share if there are any deep observations. After all, self reflection ( here as our society ) is the first step towards awareness and eventual correction, isn't?

Last edited by B103 : 3rd June 2014 at 20:11.
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Old 3rd June 2014, 20:30   #2
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Re: Communication/behavioral quirks in India?

Quote:
Originally Posted by B103 View Post
Some lighter but quirky stuff

1) A relative or friend invites us to his/her marriage. We know for sure that we will not be able to make it. The custom is not to communicate it clearly but to say "zaroor avoonga". Few Indians would say "Sorry, I won't be able to make it for so and so reason" as it can be interpreted as apathetic
Bhai, "Zarur Aunga" logic is widely used for sure. You see the invited couple/ stag thinks it will be a burden on the pocket. But to be true, If someone says it right in the 1st time then it saves the person from embarrassment later.

Such couples are called Kanjoos on a lighter note. I mean shelling out INR 1000/- for a wedding once in a while is no big deal. Saving that 1000 rupees won't buy them a Merc/ BMW or Ferrari the very next day in any case.

Quote:
2) Doctors who diagnose patients as having a terminal disease do not communicate it directly. They prefer say everything is almost fine to the patient but communicate the facts to the relatives
This is actually wrong. But, loosing a loved one has it's complications. So, to delay that state of sorrows the doctors tell the moderated version to the family.

Quote:
3) Bad news of a death is conveyed to relatives as the deceased being unwell or serious and the relatives should start asap
Yaar from where have you come up with such evident statement ? Really, you are very right. The same moderated version logic is applicable here as well.

Quote:
Behavior or communication is somewhat roundabout in these cases. I am not sure if it because of sober thinking or unconscious imitation from the patterns observed in the past. Keen to know what others think.
The simple principle applied is "Act as situation demands".

Quote:
Other end of the spectrum is where prejudices galore and behavior or communication becomes complex, assertive or even aggressive, as experienced by Gabriel. We would have commonly seen this behavioral pattern by power centers, be it a peon in RTO's office or babus in the bureaucracy. They expect to be simply revered for reasons not so easy to grasp for the commoner.
You have made my day brother!! I really get pissed off on seeing such incapable people commanding undue respect. I mean as a human being they should be given equal respect but on other grounds they should be respected only if they deserve. At times I do feel to make them realize their real worth but whats the point to waste our time on such worthless, incapable people ? Just let them be happy with their false sense of pride.

Quote:
self reflection ( here as our society ) is the first step towards awareness and correction eventually
Fantastic posts!

OT: Really like the way you have highlighted the known realities.

Thanks

Last edited by noopster : 11th June 2014 at 10:34. Reason: Retained relevant content
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Old 3rd June 2014, 21:16   #3
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Re: Communication/behavioral quirks in India?

Being a professional and based on my work experiences, I think that we Indians PREFER half baked solutions and we tend to slam people for doing something perfectly saying "koi zaroorat nahi hai". This 'chalta hai' attitude is the one that I find the most puzzling. It is as if we love mediocrity.

In the same vein, nobody listens. Group discussions are fish market scenarios where whoever has the biggest lung capacity wins.
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