[GTO]

Source 1 & 2

Stress is a giant killer, there is no doubt. It might have been a contributor to the demise of BMW's boss at the young age of 46. Here is a video of him talking about having lunch at 5.45 p.m. (link) and a related post from a BHPian:

Originally Posted by BeamerBoy

It's unfortunate that we lost a good leader from the Automotive fraternity. But it is important to understand that burning yourself out doesn't serve anyone in the long run. Rudy had a reputation to stretch things. Even at Royal Enfield, he was known for working till midnight and at BMW...things weren't much different. Data hungry, information hungry to the extent that it was tough for the organization to keep up the pace.

There is also the case of SAP India's CEO who died at just 42 (link). Apparently, he used to work damn hard & sleep merely 4.xx hours a night. These are but 2 examples - am sure each of you know many more.

Work is worship, work is good, work means progress, work contributes to success. But work should NOT kill you.

As all of us are currently working from home and having it a bit easy, I think it's an opportune time to pause, reflect on our stressful office days and develop long-term strategies to reduce the pressure in our lives.

BHPians, what are your best practices for keeping stress away? Listing mine in no particular order:

• I start early. Getting a leg up on the day keeps me surprisingly calm throughout. On week nights, I also sleep early at about 2200 - 2230 hours and am up by 0600 - 0630 hours. My laptop is fired up latest 30 minutes after I'm up. Even if you're one to start work late, try a week of starting early, then come back and tell me how it took away all your work stress.

• Sleep well. I can't stress on this enough. Good sleep is crucial to your well-being & productivity. It can be a bit of a catch-22 though as stress can take away sleep, and lack of sleep causes stress.

• I end early at about 1800 hours and head straight to the gym. Working out keeps me physically & mentally fit. When Richard Branson was asked by an employee of the one thing he could do to improve productivity, Branson said "workout".

• I enjoy my work and take immense satisfaction from "doing it right". Sure, I'm lucky to be working on things I love (cars, property, investments), but even when I was in the plywood & education businesses, I did a darn good job. I derive immense satisfaction from high quality output.

• I don't do everything perfectly. Those who know me might find this surprising, but allow me to explain. Before, I used to do 100% of my tasks with 100% perfection. The downside was that they took way too long, and caused a lot of stress. Now, I look at my to-do list, pick the top 30% in terms of importance and do them with absolute perfection. The next 40%, I complete them at a "good enough" level. For these tasks, progress is more important than perfection. The bottom 30%, I don't bother with anymore (or just delegate). To put some context, I'll put my heart & soul into the review of a Creta (total 15 days of my own time) because it's an important car. But a 1-crore rupee luxury car review? I'll just quickly glance through it over a day.

• Use the Calm App. The effectiveness of meditation will blow you away! I've recently tried it after a CEO on WSJ (or was it Bloomberg?) recommended it. Just 15 minutes of the Calm app magically gets you into a zen-like state...totally relaxed, calm & sharp. Take the annual subscription without a second thought - it'll be the best 3 grand you spend this year (about the cost of a full tank of petrol). The power of a still mind is unbelievable.

• I have accepted that I cannot do everything, and that I cannot be everything-to-everyone. Do ruthless prioritization - only work on what’s important. Believe it or not, there are currently about 200 - 300 items on my to-do list. What I'm going to do on Monday = the top 15 - 20 of them (in terms of priority). I have accepted that I cannot complete the entire list. It wasn't the case earlier where I just had to do everything on my to-do list, no matter if it resulted in 17-hour workdays, including weekends. With time & maturity, I realised that the top 30% of my tasks give me 80 - 90% of money / progress / returns. Mary Barra - CEO of General Motors - once said "Any company will take 24/7 from you and not even feel bad. You’ve just got to keep balancing, learning and adjusting, and kind of not sweat it”. Note: Applies to your own company too.

• I assign 0 - 5 level priorities on my to-do list where 0 = means critical and I have to do it now, while 5 means "whenever I have free time". In the last 2 years, I have hardly ever done any level 3 tasks, forget 5. If at all the lower-level tasks have been completed, it's because I delegated them to someone else.

• Learn to say NO, whether it is work, tasks or even social commitments that are unnecessary. There was a time when I'd say yes to pretty much anyone who asked me for anything. Then, as work grew, I realised that my own mental peace is way more important than what that other person thinks. Between me feeling bad and you feeling bad, I will happily choose the latter. Understand that you simply cannot do every task that someone wants to give you, or meet every person that wants to see you.

• I have a whole lot of fun! Every evening, I'm unfailingly having fun in some way or the other. Each weekend, I'm having a blast. Sounds cliched, but I firmly believe in working hard & playing hard. My off-work time is full of drives, family & friends, dinners, parties, movies, shopping, music, celebrations etc. What's the point of all that work if you don't have fun? Fun ensures that I start every morning with a smile. I even go out a minimum of two weekdays. My evening funda is = workout 2 days in a row, enjoy yourself on the 3rd day (also serves as a rest day for muscles).

• Accept that on several days, you will have to remove unimportant / recurring tasks. At times, the less important stuff can consume a lot of your bandwidth or time. I have learnt to simply strike them off on busy days without feeling bad at all. Even when it comes to car reviewing, at times, we are too busy to take on more cars and say a firm NO to reviewing the less important models. I have no car advertisers to please & enjoy the luxury of picking + choosing what Team-BHP reviews. Would prefer to review 2 cars / month with joy + satisfaction than do a lame job with 6.

• I take very good care of myself. The 30s were really a decade of excesses, but turning 40 was a tipping point. I lost 20 kilos, quit smoking and became a committed health freak. I am fitter now than I was 10 years back. You know what helps productivity & keeping stress away? Thinking right, eating well, sleeping well, working out, not drinking / smoking too much...

• I'd hate to do it before, but now, I reschedule tasks without a second thought if I feel I cannot do it today. I am not one to work till 10 PM at night. Before, I'd never leave my desk until my to-do list was complete, even if it meant I reached home and straight away collapsed on the bed. I have understood & accepted that work is never going to “be finished”. It’s going to be a constant throughout your life. On a related note, I must add that the situation is very different with businessmen & corporates. Businessmen usually slog for the initial 10 - 15 years of their career, and then start taking it a bit easier in their 40s or 50s, once the business is established. In the corporate world, it is the opposite. When you are new, you come home early and have your Saturday + Sunday off. But as you climb up the corporate ladder, you get busier & busier, with the hours & days stretching longer.

• No, you don't need to check WhatsApp / Facebook / etc every other minute. Also get rid of distracting notifications on your phone.

• Small tasks & followups can create unnecessary clutter and a lot of daily stress. In India especially, nothing gets done without following up a couple of times. Be it getting work done from a plumber or receiving a payment. Do this in the evenings (vs mornings when you have a lot on your plate). If you are lucky enough to afford a secretary or an assistant, do so by all means. It'll be the best money you ever spent on your productivity. I have a PA who takes care of all such work for me, so that I don't get stressed by it. My PA saves me a minimum of 1 - 2 hours a day, and a whole lot of distraction / stress.

• I got great people around me & that creates an unbelievably strong support structure. This includes my office team, family, friends & house help. Equally, I have almost zero tolerance for non-performance or mistakes.

• Saying this with the utmost modesty = I am unbelievably organised, extremely productive & I don't waste any time during working hours. You must too.

• Break up huge tasks into smaller ones, and complete each small task one by one. I usually prefer to spread them out over a couple of days too. An analogy in automotive terms = if I had to cover 1000 km, I'd break that up into 10 equal chunks and focus on completing 100 km each time I pick the project up.

• I keep meetings at the bare minimum. 90% of stuff in meetings can be done via phone or email, at least in my business. If someone really, really wants to meet me, I usually keep them for evenings at a nice restaurant or my lounge (so that way, fun + work are combined). But really, I don't meet people too much. They are a colossal waste of time in my line of work (may or may not be the same with you).

• I am not a multi-tasker. I hate multi-tasking & it creates stress for me. I focus on ONE task only at a time & am incredibly strict about this. Results in good quality output too.

• Read...get inspired (my latest is the Instagram book). Reading opens up your mind.

• I am generally a positive thinker. Trust me, that makes a huge difference. I can smile, even in adversity. Can easily kick out negative thoughts or people from my life. In Indian society especially, there are many who try to bring others down. Best to stay away from them & eliminate the idiots from your life.

• Shit happens, and it does to everyone (even to someone as blessed as Anil Ambani). It’s out of your control. What you can control is how you respond to it! Always be an optimist. Always positive. Positive thinking can do wonders to controlling stress. If you have a bad work day, instead of whining about it, maybe you can say "I'm lucky to have work while so many others are unemployed".

• Late nights only on weekends. Before, I'd think nothing of partying till 4 a.m. and being on my desk at 8 a.m. That kills productivity. Now, I have my 4 a.m. nights only on Saturdays. Weeknights, I'm in bed early.

• I put in a couple of hours here & there on Saturday & Sunday (say 3 hours each, but spread out over the day). This is usually free time and I pick up a task or two which I'll enjoy. Nothing hard & fast = I can do whatever I want whenever I feel like. This greatly helps in making my Monday schedules easier. I never suffer Monday-morning blues.

• Take a break. Because I start early at about 0630, I take a break at about 1500 hours. This significantly helps to refocus the mind, body & eyes (already 8.xx straight hours in front of the computer by then). Try taking a break in the afternoon = can be small or big, and see how it improves your productivity in the final 2 - 3 hours of your workday. Fact = most people see a drop in output after 4 - 5 PM. I don't.

• Can you tell me what stressed you out on 30th April, 2019? Bet you don't remember. See, that's the thing = whatever it is that is stressing you out today isn't really significant in the larger scheme of things (otherwise called LIFE). Take things seriously, but don't stress over them.

• I don't spend all day on emails. An hour in the morning, ~45 minutes post lunch and ~30 minutes before I end the day. I only reply when needed. My email management frees up time & bandwidth for other tasks.

• Spice up your work day with some fun activities. It could be something like taking a fun route to work & enjoying the drive, spending a little time on Team-BHP , listening to good music in the background, relishing a delicious lunch, having a great conversation with your better half, reading a satisfying article, cracking a joke with a friend...there are 100 things I can think of. Spicing up your day with some positive fun elements makes a huge difference in eliminating stress.

• A stressed YOU leads to a poorer YOU. Your work will suffer as a result. Compare your productivity on a day that you were "calm" versus one that you were "stressed". The results will surprise you. It’s very important to remain cool & calm. Just focus on the 8 – 10 good work hours per day & don't bother with anything else.

End of the day, what's the point of success if it leaves you worn out, or with a stroke / heart attack by the time you are 60. Work hard = trust me, I push hard like any other driven entrepreneur, but there is something called BALANCE. Have a little fun too. When you look back on your life, you won't remember the long hours spent in the office. Instead, you will remember all the special moments.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RYthT2wB394

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1pMIkREluMQ

[ABHI_1512]

Superb write GTO this morning, can’t agree with you enough on the prioritisation part. Plays a huge role in making your day and keeping stress out of it. Over the years and now in the 40’s, have realised that health comes first before anything else. No matter how much of work, one should always find time to look after the health before anything else. A healthy body goes a long way in keeping stress out from a lot of things. For me, music is the first thing I listen to in the morning and it stays the same in the night as well not withstanding the situation. Work is what you do to earn but to live life, you need much more than just money !

[gkveda]

Very good topic.

While I focus on reducing the stress level by exercise, music, right planning, setting priority, etc, I have found another technique to NOT increase the stress levels

I have started practicing to look at the world sarcastically and try to laugh at the funny behavior of people, irrespective of whether they are immediate seniors in office or bad drivers on the road or executive level management. Believe it or not, it frees up the stress on the mind so much, I always feel fresh and energetic.

A simple analogy, the way you look at a group of monkeys playing around near temples. Their behavior, jumpings, fightings, angry look at you, nothing will increase the stress levels, but tempts you to tease them more. A similar approach for real life although not easy to get mastery over it, will definitely be of great help

The way I practice is, when some important message is being passed on, I create another sarcastic layer and listen to that message in most funny way possible. This doesn't mean I don't focus on main message. It is just another parallel listening for the fun

[SmartCat]

My strategy is unconventional, but it works for me. Music is my biggest de-stresser. Spend some time creating a Youtube playlist. Some random music playing on Winamp/iTunes in the background does NOT work well. Remember that it works only when you are actually immersed in the song (try a singalong). If you have 2 screens, let your Youtube playlist run on the 2nd screen. What works for me is:

1) Playing "air guitar" while watching greatest guitar solos of rock artistes (look for concert videos if possible, not music videos):



2) Watching lyrics on Youtube of meaningful/soulful/sad/melancholic songs. One would assume that this has a negative effect on the mood. But no - this is strangely uplifting. Do try it out:



Certain Kishore Kumar or Jagjit Singh songs have the same positive effect (despite the melancholy in the song):

[Storm2.0]

I don't how effective will it be for others but I have been watching old and innocent cartoons of 90s and early 2000s which I used to passionately follow during my childhood. These cartoons somehow still bring smile on my face during lockdown.and help me relieve any stress and makes me calm.

[Miyata]

A popular topic for job interviews - How do you deal with pressure/stress?

What is pressure / stress - An internal (mental/psychological) response to a given situation.

The mental response being one of negative ones - anger, frustration, hatred, resistant, despair, dislike, confusion, etc.

Types of the situation evoking such negative (inner) responses - packed timelines; burden of many responsibilities; lack of appropriate task delegation; sense of unfair treatment; and many individual - specific events.

How do I deal with it. Quite a few combination of things -

1) As GTO mentioned, weed out tasks that I can. Say no to things I can - firm yet obligingly. Prioritize the tasks at hand based on timeline sensitivity.

2) I always reflect back on my work to check if something could have been done differently (efficiently) - any skills I need to add to ensure better performance; any delegation I can do for improved efficiency; etc.

In someways, this is a lot like driving - During initial days of learning to drive, most of us are under stress/pressure from - gear to pick; clutch to press; roads to watch out for; signals to concentrate on; pedestrians to worry about; chaotic traffic to deal to with; etc. The same person (driver), after say about 6-8 months of driving - we do it all without breaking a sweat - no tension; no pressure; no stress.

What changed? We have become better experts in the task.

I take that learning to my work for rapid movement towards being that "expert."

3) Single-Tasking: GTO mentioned this as well. I have learned that I too can only do one (critical) task at a time. Do it exceedingly well (not perfection, but excellence). Then move on to the next task while reviewing/reflecting-on what I have done so far in days to come.

However, a little bit of stress/pressure is really necessary to keep on our toes and make strides that we may not be otherwise done.

I find music and other mental-distractions to be more of a temporary fix. And while I am on work, I absolutely need a fairly quite space to work. Music (or any sound) is a massive distraction at the time.

Once I am done with the work, I do take a small break. Mostly walk a bit. Sip some green tea. Listen to music etc.

[hondafanboy]

Once in a while I listen to this with the headphones on

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Am1iq5a9D8

[Chetan_Rao]

There are three absolute game-changers for me, and they apply to all aspects of life:

1. Respond, not react. People, situations, decisions, anything.

2. Choices and Consequences, not Right and Wrong.

3. In every situation needing a choice to be made, honestly answer the question: 'What's more important?'. Keyword 'honestly', because the honest answer isn't always the easy one, or the one you like, or even the one you thought you 'wanted'.

[vb-saan]

My take on getting stressed - why bother with something which cannot make any positive difference or impact, other than to bog you down. The points which you get stressed out today may look completely irrelevant tomorrow, so much that you won't even remember why did you stress out so much.

The points GTO mentioned are so relevant. A few points which I think is very important to manage stress levels:

• Show your emotions - happy or sad. Holding up emotions builds stress. Laugh out loud like a child on your favourite movie scene without thinking if the person sitting next will frown at you. My wife has threatened so many times to reduce laugh-decibels or she will walk out of the movie hall, but I am holding up. And that brings to my second point
• Stop worrying about what others will think. In this age people make expensive purchases just to impress your neighbour, family, or friends; peer pressure and comparisons cause a lot of stress. If that expensive watch ticks your heart, go get it. Otherwise don't bother.
• And lastly the Frozen line - Let it go! A response or a reaction is not always necessary, let things pass. This especially helps in work situations.

[nikhilthegunner]

I don't have as much stress as the kind that GTO mentioned. However, when I do have my moments of stress, sometimes I stop and just imagine myself on the nicest road with twists and turns and I'm sitting in a really nice handling car. Simulate a V8 noise and then watch as the smile comes to my face. Helps me a bit sometimes.

[Thermodynamics]

Profound post GTO. Thanks.

There are millions battling with stress and surely your post will make us contemplate on our habits.

There was some lecture on Stress management I attended in 2006 and I still remember what the speaker said. Just two things...
1. Keep your personal life clean : never ever get into illegal things
2. Have faith in GOD

PS: I don't think I can be as perfect as you, the very thought of becoming perfect instills stress.

[Amey Kulkarni]

In the corporate world as one climbs the ladder, they start worrying more about the things around them, starts getting into a delusional world of negativity and start thinking extravagantly about things beyond their control. It’s pretty simple when you think about it but people don’t understand and start getting into depression where they know it’s beyond his control but still take it to the heart.

With time and experience people should prioritise finances between “want” and “need”, EMIs beyond one’s will and just to be there with peers (Peer Pressure) and then with all the uncertainties around they start panicking about managing it. Some get through it, some weren’t even ready for it but take the plunge.

It’s important to prioritise work and life balance. The lost time with family is never going be bought back. It’s Priceless. It’s important even to perceive hobbies so that you enjoy them with full heart and every Monday don’t get you blues and sorrows.

I’ve got myself into superbiking and it’s just a different world when I’m on the saddle.

Cheers
Amey

[ninjatalli]

Most of the relevant points (waking up early, a hobby, an sports/activity) have been covered. I'd like to just make one addition

• Avoiding arguments. Online and offline. I see it happening day-in and day-out; offline - in my workspace and sometimes at home too; and online - in every social platform, even in this forum. The need to broadcast one's view and supplement it with replies and more involvement. Stay away, stay free of it. An absolute stress-buster if it ever was. Try the online detoxification first; doing it offline will take time, but it will be worth it. Work it out - it's ok to let go sometimes, especially when there's nothing to be gained to "win" that argument.

P.s. I'm still trying to get out of it but offline - people are noticing it, appreciating it. The comments I get - how do you just agree to <point_of_discussion> so easily?

Originally Posted by GTO

• I assign 0 - 5 level priorities on my to-do list where 0 = means critical and I have to do it now, while 5 means "whenever I have free time". In the last 2 years, I have hardly ever done any level 3 tasks, forget 5. If at all the lower-level tasks have been completed, it's because I delegated them to someone else.

Interesting & thanks! I learnt very early in my career from an excellent boss to have a daily to-do list and dutifully check end of the day to re-trace unfinished items for the next day. This prioritization makes a lot of sense!

[PatienceWins]

Great Thread. A few points from my side.

1. Expect/ accept the worst case: This helps as you are anyway ready for the worst case scenario. For e.g. the worst case scenario in your job is to lose your job. It does not mean that you do not try your best; just the acceptance that there are many things beyond your control (for e.g. Covid 19) and you are ready to embrace it. The next point will also help in accepting the worst case in work.

2. Financial prudence (Avoid debt/ have adequate savings in Cash/ passive income):
a. Avoid debt as it is a future commitment; future is unknown. Dealing with interest is not allowed as per my religion.

b. Having cash in hand/ liquid investments (not equity, property) helps as it is like oxygen in the time of crisis (learnt it during medical emergency, death of family earning member etc). Income from multiple sources (stock dividends, rent etc) helps, however small it is.

c. Financial independence changes the way you look at work. Make it a priority than upgrading your lifestyle.

3. Have the wisdom to accept what you cannot control: Trying to change others view do not work most of the time as we are dealing with humans having emotions, ego and many psychological biases (confirmation bias, liking bias etc). Just accept the outcome and move on when you cannot control the decision.

[RaceHorse]

Thanks for the great thread.

Here some inputs from my side.

With every new challenge at work and the stress and pressure it brings, I try to recollect and remember one thing. I have seen this before, I have been in much worse situation before. I have emerged triumphant from all those situations. Sometimes success came quick, some times with lot of troubles and effort. What helped me was my hard work, and things I learnt from past failures. This too is just another challenge. Keep calm and balanced, talk less work more.

And most important thing don't take anything to heart , it's always the mind at work.
Use your mind at work and heart at home, you will be happy.