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Old 11th December 2020, 12:48   #16
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Default re: Here are some TBHP'ian quirks, our secret code if you will

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Originally Posted by Stribog View Post
Disclaimer - Only in jest, and as they say, nothing like self deprecatory humour.

When one joins TBHP, you open yourself to a lot of abuse from the home ministry. After all, you can't even blame them, everytime I have been up till 4 AM, blurry eyed and reading every 300 page thread on a particular car....

Bam! A month later, new car.
I daresay you speak for all of us in this forum with the above statement! I am being constantly rebuked for spending too much time in the world of automobiles (Read team-bhp). In fact, it is with a sense of great shame that I have to admit that I often fake work and read team-bhp instead.
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Old 11th December 2020, 12:50   #17
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Default re: Here are some TBHP'ian quirks, our secret code if you will

That was a fantastic read.
If not TBHP, I would have never had Jopasu Duster, Dash Cam, TPMS, Micheline Tires and car wax/polishes!
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Old 11th December 2020, 12:51   #18
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Default re: Here are some TBHP'ian quirks, our secret code if you will

I can totally relate to your post.
I initially used the services of housing society car cleaner who charged 400/- per month for cleaning every morning with a red cloth and bucket of black water which was used on all the cars.
Now I have switched to a professional car cleaning service who clean the car every morning (except Sundays) but use 3 different microfibre cloths (body, glass and tyre), use proper shampoo every alternate day and do interior cleaning every alternate day. They charge 700/- per month but I am happy with the service. Some other society members have also switched to them after looking at my car cleaning.
On alternate Sundays, I use my own Jopasu duster and 3M cleaning kit to clean the car myself.
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Old 11th December 2020, 12:55   #19
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Damn, I was sleepy when I missed it and missed a lot. Mods if you could, please could you edit this in? Or will leave it as a follow up post if that is not feasible. Triggered by the other responses, the saga of a TBHPIAN continues.

Our Whatsapp groups - they are as alien a place to an outsider as Saturn is to human beings. Like right now in a TBHP driven co-ordinating forum, there is WW3 happening on so many different topics, is the E better than the GLA, are Jags under or overpowered, why and how Alto's are reliable or not and that is just the past hour. Even an India Pakistan meet would be less acrimonious.

Income and class barriers? What is that? TBHPIAN's are equal opportunity car / bike lovers. This was starkly driven home when there was a thread on the front page about some expensive 1 Cr+ sports car and immediately after with as many comments, a lovingly maintained Wagon R. To us, a car is a car is a car. In fact some of the most well attended threads are the ones put out by the likes of Vigsom on his epic car journeys, or the brilliant Maruti DIY and ownership threads.

On less serious stuff...or is it? Knocks, rattles and noises. I remember, when I picked up my Kia Seltos, there was this minor rattle from the back seat. Now, not one of my tone deaf family members could hear anything, not even when I drove slowly in a remote rural highway with the music off and every one silenced, on the pain of being evicted (mom, wife, son doesn't matter) and to me the noise was a loud as the Horns of the Rohirrim right before they charged, but my loved ones? They swore they could not hear a thing. Before we had left, I had taken it to the SA who as always went "Saaaar no noise Saar, minor squeaks normal in new car saaar".


We reach our destination, I hit up TBHP and what do you know, there are no less than 20 comments on a thread started by an enterprising BHP'ian Seltos owner who not only narrowed down the problem (the rest on which the rear seat was...resting was causing this noise) and provided a simply DIY solution that costed exactly Rs 25. We can even tolerate salt in our coffee but the odd noise? Darned if we will put up with it.

Valet drivers? I would rather drag myself over 100 km's of broken glass before I give my car to a Valet if I could avoid it. This always attracts frowns and even annoyance from friends and family. Even it is raining, I would rather walk that short distance in rain but give my car to that arch nemesis of the perfect sitting position, the Valet which brings me to,

Sheldon's Spot - Like his "Spot", we have our perfect spot which can be measured only by a laser range finder. Once it is disturbed, our mental peace is shattered till we spend an hour getting it back to that exact same spot. I never understood how my wife (when she drives my car, sadly the no valet rule does not apply here) will simply and randomly move the seat forward by some random measure, adjust the backrest by some random measure, 1 glance in the rear view mirror (when we were dating, she used to use the rear view mirror to constantly just look at herself....we were only 18 though, but I told her, if this continued, she can find another guy...a IRVM is used ONLY for 1 purpose) and she is off. Like how? How do people do this.

One common theme seems to be "your first wife" - like all others in this thread, my wife believes I have 2 girlfriends who rank above her, my PC (am a monster gaming freak) and my cars / bikes. I think at times she is mostly serious when she says this and I want to tell her, "Babe, you are 100% right", but threat of divorce and the consequent social ostracism make me shut my mouth up.

Keep it coming guys, will keep adding more. Looks like we are all cut off the same cloth after all...which was the basic premise of this post

One huge advantage of all this? Am a "T BHPIAN" has instantly gained me better service, be it FNG's or ASS's. It has given me solid discounts with the kind request "Saar please put good review on BHP" and I tend to feel like Trex in a field of minnows whenever I walk into any placed related to automobiles. If some clever RSA bamboozles me? One thread on TBHP and I assail him with so much facts that it makes the pelting Tendulkar gave C J Drum (28 runs in 1 over) seem tame by comparision.

Last edited by Stribog : 11th December 2020 at 13:03.
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Old 11th December 2020, 13:00   #20
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Default re: Here are some TBHP'ian quirks, our secret code if you will

I totally agree with all views.

TBhp is the best site or overall thing that I see and refer on my cell phone and computer. In other words it's my favorite reading website. The pleasure of writing, gives you the feeling of a writer.

Sometimes it takes hours to compile a thread and at the end there are very few likes. But that's how it is. Sharing and reading info at the best.

Sometimes when I am not sleepy at night, my favorite site to refer is this obviously and if I reply to a thread, my wife looks at me with a different eye. And then I have to tell her its only TBhp.

All in all, I am a totally satisfied person and I hope this site continues for ever.

Last edited by ruzbehxyz : 11th December 2020 at 13:01.
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Old 11th December 2020, 13:31   #21
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Default re: Here are some TBHP'ian quirks, our secret code if you will

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Originally Posted by Stribog View Post
Disclaimer - Only in jest, and as they say, nothing like self deprecatory humour.


It is a closed universe with our own song. I am attending a TBHP meet for the first time today, and it is with trepidation I am attending it. You see, I have committed the cardinal sin of not upsizing to Primacy 4st (or whatever, not a tyre guy as you can see...blasphemy I know) and I fear mine will be the only car or bike or autorickshaw in that meeting without upszied Primacy tyres. Hope I don't get banished into the wilderness like Rama was.

Swirls Swirls Swirls! 7 years ago, my daily cleaning routine was simple. Take a banian that has clearly committed a lot of sin as it was destined not to be retired and sent to the great Banian farm in the sky gracefully, but pressed into car dusting duties - at least a better fate than the banian relegated to jhadu pocha duties though, silver linings I say, you always have them.

If you spot a Jopasu duster, you know it is T BHPIAN, it is like our own secret code. Am sure if there was an initiation rite into TBHP, it would involve chickens, drops of blood and a Jopasu Duster, all over those damned Michelin Primacy tyres.

Jokes aside, quirks aside, I think as a community we are known for being reliable, exacting and truthful (the occasional fanboys notwithstanding, and they get infracted out very soon anyway), and helped at least me make informed decisions.
I made the mistake of reading this post sitting at work. And had to press my cheeks together to stop from screaming with laughter. Man! What a riot of a post. I'll go home & read this again so I can laugh in peace.

While I am a tbhpian, my cars get washed/wiped with some banian only, I'm sure But yes, noises and rattles are things I can't stand. And now my wife too breaks her head over rattles and keeps trying to fix them.

BTW what is this TBHP meet and how do I attend one?

TBHP has solid guidance on all things road related. Be it vehicles, their upkeep, maintenance, DIY or routes, places to stop, traffic distractions, road conditions. Absolutely fantastic.

Last edited by cpabhijit : 11th December 2020 at 13:42.
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Old 11th December 2020, 13:52   #22
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Default re: Here are some TBHP'ian quirks, our secret code if you will

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Originally Posted by motorotor View Post
In fact, it is with a sense of great shame that I have to admit that I often fake work and read team-bhp instead.
If in lockdown I have developed a few 'hobbies' this is one of those stubborn ones which you can't get over

Hey, I totally relate to all the comments above. Thanks, @stribog for starting this lovely thread. And you're spot on the better halves part, my wife is known among friends for her famous eye roll that drops at anything she finds unagreeable. And every time there is a new courier box which I am opening with enthusiasm I get her notorious eye roll because it's always a new cleaner, a new polish, a new DIY box, and the list goes on and on.
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Old 11th December 2020, 14:10   #23
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All these posts are extremely soothing to the eyes!

I recall during winters I always used to wash the car in the mornings since there would be precipitation on the roof. In fact, I can proudly declare that my car interiors are cleaner than my room because - priorities!

Thanks @stribog for this thread.
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Old 11th December 2020, 14:28   #24
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I am sure we love our jopasu's here as by the time we spend with them sometimes more we spend with better haves or girlfriends, cleaning those microfibre is like a pooja ceremony where every bit has to be perfection. Our mechanic hate when we are more informed than them but they also know we will pamper them as they keep our car running in spic and span condition.
I am not at that stage in life right now to commit on buying everyother car we all love at team-bhp but I make sure I read the official reviews with keeping a magnifying glass at hand so that no even a single detail is left & I even read between the lines sometimes. Out of the 20 odd tabs on my phone's chrome browser 16 are of team bhp & I make sure the one I test drive I end up buying it once in a few years also garage space limits me keeping more than 3 cars.
My prized possessions will never become dog lover's paradise never. All this mad rocket scientist traits where there somewhere hidden since childhood for cars but team-bhp just made it at that level I ended up becoming a mechanical engineer & working for cars & with cars.
For cars we live here.
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Old 11th December 2020, 14:58   #25
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Default re: Here are some TBHP'ian quirks, our secret code if you will

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Originally Posted by Stribog View Post
When one joins TBHP, you open yourself to a lot of abuse from the home ministry. After all, you can't even blame them, everytime I have been up till 4 AM, blurry eyed and reading every 300 page thread on a particular car...
Wow, what an amazing post; and unfortunately spot on for many of us. As, if you were speaking my biography!
While back at home, when 'THE' Home Ministry transformed into scarier versions of ET replete with a Ravana-ised laughter to set the tone, I ran short of corners in my house to hide my ample derriere. Initially the grouse was the ridiculous amount of time being spent on TBhp website; then came Tbhp meets followed by the newfound friends' WhatsApp groups that glorified our existence further. All the while, the 'scarier version of ET' fumed with a red face and just got scarier.

The reviews here are as detailed as it gets. The official ones and the ownership threads included. Where else would you find details of "water drain lines after a car wash" and "presence of a nut on the wheel arch", which even the manufacturer didn't know about. Where else can you find a forum for discussing jokes and Military equipment at the same platform? Or even Mills and Boons and World War debacles. I guess I can go on and on.

You have explained it so beautifully. Kudos to you man.
May be the Michelin Primacy may outlive it's utility in years to come. TBhp is however, here to stay!
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Old 11th December 2020, 15:01   #26
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Default re: Here are some TBHP'ian quirks, our secret code if you will

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What was a simple bird drop 15 years ago is an Acid attack today.
Hahaha! Totally get it.
My own stupid analogy to relate to your statement --> Petrol bhar lena to my friend is now: Fill Shell V-Power (99 RON), from a "Particular bunk" .

P.S - Check the density

Now this level of change can happen only when the world only by two things one is you become an active TBHP member or the other I don't want to mention ahem *Corona* ahem..
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Old 11th December 2020, 15:06   #27
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Oh man!
Cannot stress on the fact that car detailing and checking the tyres of every random car to see if they are the Michelin Primacy 4ST has become my biggest obsession even since I became a part of this family!
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Old 11th December 2020, 15:20   #28
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This is just incredibly relatable

There's an unpaved private road just outside our building compound wall, next to which our car is parked. Vehicles kick up dust and if I'm ever too lazy to cover her (jk never), the car will be covered in dust in a matter of 45-60 minutes. In case the car must be taken out on another trip in a couple of hours, I go and park her in the basement in an empty slot. The guards and my parents think I've lost it.

Came home one day after a wash and remarked how I did my fastest waterless wash ever, at 45 minutes (Decent for a 3 row crossover?). Mum just scoffed (and I think she asked me to shut up, but I was busy marvelling at my achievement).

Most recently, my dad and brother took the car out for their usual tennis game and had to park under a tree as the club parking was full due to some event. They come home and tell me about multiple bird droppings, which they took the time to clean because they didn't want it to irk me. I frowned and asked them how they cleaned it; the frown quickly turning into a rage when they mentioned they used tissues and water. Clearly not what they expected. Went down immediately to see what they had done to her and prepared myself for a full waterless wash the very next morning. Well, let's just say they're never doing that again.

See swirls and consequent dull paint on a black car? Curse the owner and offer my sympathies to the poor thing.

Can't take the effort to follow lane discipline? Why don't you just quit on life?

Pre-buckled seat belt in parked cars? Must be from the lowest rungs of society. Should just be exiled.

Enter FastTag lane at Vashi toll and then try to pay by card? Pray that you aren't murdered in your sleep. Not that it'll help.

USING YOUR PHONE WHILE DRIVING? Don't even get me started.

Cheers to us all! *Raises ONR sprayer*
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Old 11th December 2020, 15:51   #29
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Default re: Here are some TBHP'ian quirks, our secret code if you will

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Originally Posted by Stribog View Post
Jokes aside, quirks aside, I think as a community we are known for being reliable, exacting and truthful (the occasional fanboys notwithstanding, and they get infracted out very soon anyway), and helped at least me make informed decisions.
Affirm and second all the views already mentioned.

Still a very new member but right now am looking at an Amazon delivery package containing a Jopasu duster, 3 microfibers to follow soon and was just going to research for best car wax in the forums

Between yesterday and today, researched on PPF and ceramic coatings. Read that thread about keeping it simple from GTO(agreed and junked both options), will also go through that massive detailing thread soon(so tonight).
And this research isn't even for my car, but a friend's (he thinks i am helping him but its the opposite).

As a newbie there's so much to catch up and research on but the feeling isn't "ohhh" its "wow".
All this has been made possible due to the relentless efforts of all BHPians till date.

As an earlier consumer and a current Newbie I end with a humble bow of respect and immense gratitude.
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Old 11th December 2020, 16:03   #30
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Default re: Here are some TBHP'ian quirks, our secret code if you will

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I daresay you speak for all of us in this forum with the above statement! I am being constantly rebuked for spending too much time in the world of automobiles (Read team-bhp). In fact, it is with a sense of great shame that I have to admit that I often fake work and read team-bhp instead.
I am doing that right now instead of working! Well these are few plus points of working from home. ( you can say miss-use but who cares!)

I have spent enormous amount of time on my RE classic be it cleaning or just admiring it. Still Crazy even after 6 years of ownership.
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