Team-BHP > Shifting gears


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Old 9th December 2020, 15:53   #1
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Default Here are some TBHP'ian quirks, our secret code if you will

Disclaimer - Only in jest, and as they say, nothing like self deprecatory humour.

When one joins TBHP, you open yourself to a lot of abuse from the home ministry. After all, you can't even blame them, everytime I have been up till 4 AM, blurry eyed and reading every 300 page thread on a particular car....

Bam! A month later, new car.

Like Pavalov's Dogs, our better halves know very well, that us spending time on a dating website is half as less dangerous as us pouring our a TBHP page on a car / bike / mod.

It is a closed universe with our own song. I am attending a TBHP meet for the first time today, and it is with trepidation I am attending it. You see, I have committed the cardinal sin of not upsizing to Primacy 4st (or whatever, not a tyre guy as you can see...blasphemy I know) and I fear mine will be the only car or bike or autorickshaw in that meeting without upszied Primacy tyres. Hope I don't get banished into the wilderness like Rama was.

Swirls Swirls Swirls! 7 years ago, my daily cleaning routine was simple. Take a banian that has clearly committed a lot of sin as it was destined not to be retired and sent to the great Banian farm in the sky gracefully, but pressed into car dusting duties - at least a better fate than the banian relegated to jhadu pocha duties though, silver linings I say, you always have them.

So yeah, on topic, daily cleaning was just twirling the banian around like I was Zorro twirling around his lasso, and that is it. If too many birds had considered my car to be a Swacch Bharat Abhiyan location, then a dash of Colin, jhadu pocha banian pressed into worse duty of cleaning car poop and we are good to go.

Monthly just take it to some nearby friendly wash guy who used kerosene to clean cars and I was a happy camper.

Now? After reading every page of the monumental 392818 page detailing guide (it makes War & Peace look like a Mills and Boons novel), I spend 30 minutes on my Jopasu (more on this after), then use a Rainx Windshield clear spray, then the windshield cleaner. Every 3 days during the rainy season is ONS waterless followed by a spot of instant detailer.

This is just the exterior, not even getting into the interior detailing.

Before, car cleaning was a chore, now it is car detailing and it is Zen.

If you spot a Jopasu duster, you know it is T BHPIAN, it is like our own secret code. Am sure if there was an initiation rite into TBHP, it would involve chickens, drops of blood and a Jopasu Duster, all over those damned Michelin Primacy tyres.

Attention to detail - Fellow BHP'ians are so thorough that they will take 8 minutes to do some simple DIY job, and then take 4 hours to take 300 pictures and make a detailed write up. Other technically minded BHP'ians will then pour over it and the original BHP'ian will spend another 10 hours in explaining what he did to noobs like me, or thrashing out the arcane details of how a minute wire was threaded through the beading or whatever.

This is just the DIY jobs. While most reviews in auto mags would be lucky to have 3 pictures, if a TBHP review has 40, it is considered...'very okay', as hey, the standard is 100+ right?

Jokes aside, quirks aside, I think as a community we are known for being reliable, exacting and truthful (the occasional fanboys notwithstanding, and they get infracted out very soon anyway), and helped at least me make informed decisions.

Continued on page 2...

Last edited by Rehaan : 12th December 2020 at 12:23. Reason: Adding link to continuation :)
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Old 11th December 2020, 10:56   #2
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Default re: Here are some TBHP'ian quirks, our secret code if you will

@Stribog, Lovely post mate! Fantastic play with the emotions and humor at elaborating on the idiosyncrasies of us BHPians! Must say that I couldn't have related to something as much as your account of cleaning the car - before and after becoming a BHPian!

My stint here has hardly been for a better part of 4 months now, but I believe we've all been on the other side long enough to notice a subtle difference in our behavior; When I was not a member, I was mostly shuffling through the sections of Travelogues, New Car Purchases or News. Once I was a part of the fraternity, I find myself scrolling through the technicalities of all that is cars and find myself in awe every time I am rummaging through our thriving Shifting Gears section. Heck, I can easily vouch that it's impossible for any reader (member or not) to not be in awe looking at the depth and breadth of knowledge Team-BHP embodies.

I'd be lying if I say that my girlfriend hasn't rolled her eyes and told me to take it easy every time I cross the 5 minute mark of blabbering about Team-BHP. I have advocated umpteen articles/DIYs/Travelogues/News/Suggestions from Team-BHP to so many acquaintances in my personal circle that they can easily pass me off as a promoter of this forum in some way! I don't mind; nowhere will you get half this much authenticity at zilch cost.

And the boyish charm of slapping the first Team-BHP sticker on the car - I swear by the time I was done, the courier guy was still in front of my house.
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Old 11th December 2020, 10:58   #3
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Default re: Here are some TBHP'ian quirks, our secret code if you will

I totally resonate with your views. I used to spend 1-2 hours cleaning my vehicle (before I sold it last month). My wifey one day said, "Why don't you marry your vehicle? As you spend more time with it than me". Previously my vehicle was cleaned by our security guard with some old banian. I never bothered much as long as it was free from dust.

I now spend more money on car polish, tyre polish, microfiber cloths etc, than my wifey's cosmetics. All my colleagues come to me for advice on new vehicle purchases, as they think I am encyclopaedia of cars. Less do they know that I am memeber of TBHP.
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Old 11th December 2020, 11:19   #5
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Default re: Here are some TBHP'ian quirks, our secret code if you will

I can totally relate to this. Car cleaning has become an obsession for me since the lockdown, even though I know it will be dirty within couple of days in the parking. To top it off, there is hardly any daily driving due to the current situation.

My latest fad has been the use of RO water for car wash. Yes, you heard that right. I live in a place with hard well water. So after the initial pressure wash and 3M shampoo, the final stage involves filling a bucket of water from the kitchen RO water filter and giving a wash over. This does prevent the hard water stains when the water dries off (even if you wipe it using micro fiber or chamois, there will always be those damn drops somewhere).

As for the interior, its humidity thats driving me nuts as I live near the sea. So I have put a small humidity meter and absorbers (Absorbia brand) while its parked.

I guess my car is in a better shape than my own bedroom
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Old 11th December 2020, 11:21   #6
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Default re: Here are some TBHP'ian quirks, our secret code if you will

Quote:
Originally Posted by Stribog View Post
Bam! A month later, new car.
I just wrote on Polo 1.0 TSI thread that after spending countless hours on polo thread and ownership review I had to book a Polo. So I completely agree with you. That's the downside of being an active TBHP'ian. You order parts, or book a car or if nothing go and start cleaning / detailing the car.
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Old 11th December 2020, 11:42   #7
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Default re: Here are some TBHP'ian quirks, our secret code if you will

Ha! Doesn't that strike a note with most of us !? Well written Stribog

Like how Sheldon (BBT) must be feeling while explaining some arcane theory to his roomies, we too once in a while try to "reason" with our non-auto-enthusiast family/friends and ultimately get frustrated - why don't they get this simple thing ?

I have friends who consider an automobile just as 4seats with 4 wheels and some junk tech stuff, that takes them from A to B, that's all. But for us T-BHPians a car/bike/any other vehicle is an emotion not a contraption to ferry us!
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Old 11th December 2020, 11:46   #8
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Default re: Here are some TBHP'ian quirks, our secret code if you will

Absolutely enjoyed reading all the quirky tales about car cleaning & detailing .
Sense of humour & implied trait of one & all is simply amazing.Hope to fall in line soon being a new entrant.However after reading it,visited 3M car care to buy some cleaning & detailing stuff to spruce up my beast .
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Old 11th December 2020, 12:06   #9
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Default re: Here are some TBHP'ian quirks, our secret code if you will

Now thats a quirky post!

I have been abused, taunted and what not over my obsession with the four wheels that I own.

Trademark comment by my wife is you love your car more than me !

When we go to morning walk and we cross the parking I usually take a quick glance at the ride and bam you get a comment "Dekh lie girlfriend ko ? Yahin so bhi jaya karo!"

Such is the passion of Tbhpians for their rides.

PS: Yes I own the jopasu, The Dash Cam and the 3M shampoo

Last edited by ShivrajG : 11th December 2020 at 12:17. Reason: added PS
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Old 11th December 2020, 12:13   #10
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Default re: Here are some TBHP'ian quirks, our secret code if you will

Very well written Stribog.

I've been through the same emotions few years ago. What once was just an old rag of discarded clothing, is now a fully fledged organized kit containing various cleaning tools, solutions and dusters.

Thanks to the immense knowledge base here.

TBHP has always been the first stop for research for anything on wheels.

Kudos to all.
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Old 11th December 2020, 12:15   #11
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Default re: Here are some TBHP'ian quirks, our secret code if you will

Good Word play

I would like to add that we used to clean our cars/bikes in our free time, now we make time to clean our vehicles.
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Old 11th December 2020, 12:18   #12
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Default re: Here are some TBHP'ian quirks, our secret code if you will

I don't pay a lot of attention to detailing the exterior of the cars Twice a month wash is good enough for me. My quirk is towards mechanicals of the car/bike. Any sound, thud/rattle etc, needs to be resolved asap. I stop right in the middle of a drive to locate and resolve any such issues. ASS and FNG mechanics often find me right on top of their heads while working on my car. I also need to know what changes, if any, they make to the setup of the car.

Another quirk:
If I am traveling to the hills, I put negative camber on the car
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Old 11th December 2020, 12:19   #13
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Default re: Here are some TBHP'ian quirks, our secret code if you will

Quote:
Originally Posted by ShivrajG View Post

Trademark comment by my wife is you love your car more than me !
Agreed!!!
Whenever I get this comment, I always stop myself from saying, 'Well, its debatable!!!'
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Old 11th December 2020, 12:27   #14
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Default re: Here are some TBHP'ian quirks, our secret code if you will

This is one hell of a thread! I was smiling throughout and even after reading it.
Aptly put, TBHPians are Greek gods in their own little world where even the simplest task is portrayed as an event.

Similar thing happened to me when I installed the TPMS for my car. It was so silly for others that one person asked if I was converting the car into a taxi.

My dad, even today, jokes in front of other people that he'll sleep in his car if he wants to.

Now, I have ordered projector fog lamps for my car. No, it's not FE retrofit and TBHP guys told me they'll outcast me (joking).

Our building has valet parking facility since we have stack parking. I am the only nut in the building who parks his own car. I frown upon my car cleaning guy when he cleans from inside and resets the seat position.

The problem is this obsession will make me crazier with age!
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Old 11th December 2020, 12:37   #15
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Default re: Here are some TBHP'ian quirks, our secret code if you will

Quote:
Originally Posted by Stribog View Post
If you spot a Jopasu duster, you know it is T BHPIAN, it is like our own secret code. Am sure if there was an initiation rite into TBHP, it would involve chickens, drops of blood and a Jopasu Duster, all over those damned Michelin Primacy tyres.
Wow!
That would be a perfect initiation rite into TBHP.
May be, a few drops of waterless cleaning liquid instead of a few drops of blood.
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