The Official Joke thread

Deeps · 7th April 2005, 16:08

haha..this is great. I like the Ford and Porsche definitions.

turbo_lover · 7th April 2005, 16:24

dahhum !! the oldsmobile is hilarious man ...

port hed : da jokes !! nice one there ..

espirited · 7th April 2005, 17:15

check this out for more such acronyms
http://www.carbuyingtips.com/humor.htm

always_dui · 7th April 2005, 17:24

too freakin Hilarious
so what about the others
the world is not made up of just these many cars

Inputs to this people
we surely have more

cheers

Scuderia · 7th April 2005, 18:04

A boy worked in the produce section of the supermarket. A man came in
and asked to buy half a head of lettuce. The boy told him they only sold
whole heads of lettuce, but the man was persistent. The boy said he'd go
ask his manager what to do.

The boy walked into the back room and said, "There's some jerk out there
who wants to buy only half a head of lettuce."

As he finished saying this he turned around to find the man standing
right behind him, so he added, "And this gentleman wants to buy the
other half."

The manager okayed the deal. Later the manager said to the boy, "You
almost got yourself in a lot of trouble earlier, but I must say I was
impressed with the way you got yourself out of it.

You think on your feet,and we like that around here. Where are you
from,son?"

The boy replied, "Minnesota, sir."

"Oh really? Why did you leave Minnesota?" asked the manager.

The boy replied, "They're all just prostitutes and hockey players up
there."

"My wife is from Minnesota," the manager said.

The boy replied, "Really!? What team did she play for?"

Scuderia · 7th April 2005, 18:06

great stuff people

Quote:

Originally Posted by ported_head

PONTIAC: Poor Old Nigger Thinks Its A Cadillac

too good a definition man

haryan · 7th April 2005, 18:20

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rtech

BMW: Born Moderately Wealthy

FIAT: Feeble Italian Attempt at Transportation

Ford: Failure Of Research & Development

Honda: Hell Of a Nice Damn Automobile

Hyundai: Hope You Understand Nothing's Driveable And Inexpensive

Porsche: Proof Only Rich Suckers Can Have Everything

Volvo: Very Odd Looking Vehicular Object

I like the above ones very much .......... Very very true and very very Funny .......

Stratos · 7th April 2005, 18:23

LOL!! Damm good find Rtech, I guess Shan2nu will die for u after reading the HONDA one

comfortablywacky · 7th April 2005, 18:54

Hey great find Rtech the oldsmobile one does it for me!!

Hey espirited ....cool linky there!

shravan316 · 7th April 2005, 19:46

Great find Rtech! Awesome definitions!

khanak · 7th April 2005, 20:08

i think this joke has already been posted in the official joke thread by turbolader..........

revtech · 8th April 2005, 04:55

One day President Bush was visiting Queen Elizabeth and she decided to take him for a tour of London in the Royal Carriage. The carriage was being pulled by six Royal Stallions and one of them suddenly passed gas. It sounded like a 21-gun salute it was so loud! The smell permeated the inside of the carriage and the Queen was totally devastated.

"I appoligize profusely for the terrible smell inside the carriage", she said.

"Oh, that's alright", said the George, "for a minute there I thought it was the horse!"

revtech · 8th April 2005, 04:55

A couple goes to an art gallery. They find a picture of a naked women with only her privates covered with leaves. The wife doesn't like it and moves on but the huband keeps looking.
The wife asks, "What are you waiting for?"

The husband replies, "Autumn."

revtech · 8th April 2005, 05:01

Einstein dies and goes to heaven. At the Pearly Gates, Saint Peter tells him, "You look like Einstein, but you have NO idea the lengths that some people will go to sneak into Heaven. Can you prove who you really are?"

Einstein ponders for a few seconds and asks, "Could I have a blackboard and some chalk?"

Saint Peter snaps his fingers and a blackboard and chalk instantly appear. Einstein proceeds to describe with arcane mathematics and symbols his theory of relativity.

Saint Peter is suitably impressed. "You really ARE Einstein!" he says. "Welcome to heaven!"

The next to arrive is Picasso. Once again, Saint Peter asks for credentials.

Picasso asks, "Mind if I use that blackboard and chalk?"

Saint Peter says, "Go ahead."

Picasso erases Einstein's equations and sketches a truly stunning mural with just a few strokes of chalk.

Saint Peter claps. "Surely you are the great artist you claim to be!" he says. "Come on in!"

Then Saint Peter looks up and sees George W. Bush. Saint Peter scratches his head and says, "Einstein and Picasso both managed to prove their identity. How can you prove yours?"

George W. looks bewildered and says, "Who are Einstein and Picasso?"

Saint Peter sighs and says, "Come on in, George."

fieroid · 8th April 2005, 05:04

wow man this thread is sexy!

7th April 2005, 18:04	#170
Scuderia BHPian Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Mumbai Posts: 127 Thanked: 8 Times	survival skills for today's world A boy worked in the produce section of the supermarket. A man came in and asked to buy half a head of lettuce. The boy told him they only sold whole heads of lettuce, but the man was persistent. The boy said he'd go ask his manager what to do. The boy walked into the back room and said, "There's some jerk out there who wants to buy only half a head of lettuce." As he finished saying this he turned around to find the man standing right behind him, so he added, "And this gentleman wants to buy the other half." The manager okayed the deal. Later the manager said to the boy, "You almost got yourself in a lot of trouble earlier, but I must say I was impressed with the way you got yourself out of it. You think on your feet,and we like that around here. Where are you from,son?" The boy replied, "Minnesota, sir." "Oh really? Why did you leave Minnesota?" asked the manager. The boy replied, "They're all just prostitutes and hockey players up there." "My wife is from Minnesota," the manager said. The boy replied, "Really!? What team did she play for?"

7th April 2005, 16:08	#166
Deeps Senior - BHPian Join Date: May 2004 Location: Delhi/Noida Posts: 1,116 Thanked: 170 Times	haha..this is great. I like the Ford and Porsche definitions.

7th April 2005, 16:24	#167
turbo_lover Senior - BHPian Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Toronto Posts: 1,377 Thanked: 9 Times	dahhum !! the oldsmobile is hilarious man ... port hed : da jokes !! nice one there ..

7th April 2005, 17:15	#168
espirited Newbie Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Chennai Posts: 5 Thanked: 0 Times	check this out for more such acronyms http://www.carbuyingtips.com/humor.htm

7th April 2005, 17:24	#169
always_dui BHPian Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: mumbai Posts: 61 Thanked: Once View My Garage	too freakin Hilarious so what about the others the world is not made up of just these many cars Inputs to this people we surely have more cheers

7th April 2005, 18:23	#173
Stratos Senior - BHPian Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Belgium Posts: 2,609 Thanked: 1,437 Times View My Garage	LOL!! Damm good find Rtech, I guess Shan2nu will die for u after reading the HONDA one

7th April 2005, 18:54	#174
comfortablywacky BHPian Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: Melbourne Posts: 540 Thanked: 8 Times	Hey great find Rtech the oldsmobile one does it for me!! Hey espirited ....cool linky there!

7th April 2005, 19:46	#175
shravan316 Senior - BHPian Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Bangalore Posts: 1,029 Thanked: 9 Times	Great find Rtech! Awesome definitions!

7th April 2005, 20:08	#176
khanak Senior - BHPian Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Mumbai/Toronto Posts: 2,799 Thanked: 268 Times View My Garage	i think this joke has already been posted in the official joke thread by turbolader..........

8th April 2005, 04:55	#177
revtech Senior - BHPian Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Bombay Posts: 1,992 Thanked: 38 Times View My Garage	One day President Bush was visiting Queen Elizabeth and she decided to take him for a tour of London in the Royal Carriage. The carriage was being pulled by six Royal Stallions and one of them suddenly passed gas. It sounded like a 21-gun salute it was so loud! The smell permeated the inside of the carriage and the Queen was totally devastated. "I appoligize profusely for the terrible smell inside the carriage", she said. "Oh, that's alright", said the George, "for a minute there I thought it was the horse!"

8th April 2005, 04:55	#178
revtech Senior - BHPian Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Bombay Posts: 1,992 Thanked: 38 Times View My Garage	A couple goes to an art gallery. They find a picture of a naked women with only her privates covered with leaves. The wife doesn't like it and moves on but the huband keeps looking. The wife asks, "What are you waiting for?" The husband replies, "Autumn."

8th April 2005, 05:01	#179
revtech Senior - BHPian Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Bombay Posts: 1,992 Thanked: 38 Times View My Garage	Einstein dies and goes to heaven. At the Pearly Gates, Saint Peter tells him, "You look like Einstein, but you have NO idea the lengths that some people will go to sneak into Heaven. Can you prove who you really are?" Einstein ponders for a few seconds and asks, "Could I have a blackboard and some chalk?" Saint Peter snaps his fingers and a blackboard and chalk instantly appear. Einstein proceeds to describe with arcane mathematics and symbols his theory of relativity. Saint Peter is suitably impressed. "You really ARE Einstein!" he says. "Welcome to heaven!" The next to arrive is Picasso. Once again, Saint Peter asks for credentials. Picasso asks, "Mind if I use that blackboard and chalk?" Saint Peter says, "Go ahead." Picasso erases Einstein's equations and sketches a truly stunning mural with just a few strokes of chalk. Saint Peter claps. "Surely you are the great artist you claim to be!" he says. "Come on in!" Then Saint Peter looks up and sees George W. Bush. Saint Peter scratches his head and says, "Einstein and Picasso both managed to prove their identity. How can you prove yours?" George W. looks bewildered and says, "Who are Einstein and Picasso?" Saint Peter sighs and says, "Come on in, George."

8th April 2005, 05:04	#180
fieroid BHPian Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: bangalore Posts: 706 Thanked: 304 Times	wow man this thread is sexy!