Embarassing first Date
This just tells you how hard it is to be single nowadays.
> > >
> > > This was on the Tonight Show with Jay Leno on September 7, 1999.
> > > Jay went into the audience to find the most embarrassing first
> > > date that a woman ever had. The winner described her worst
> > > first date experience. There was absolutely no question as to
> > > why her tale took the prize! She said it was midwinter...
> > > snowing and quite cold...and the guy had taken her skiing. It
> > > was a day trip (no overnight). They were strangers, after all,
> > > and truly had never met before.
> > >
> > > The outing was fun but relatively uneventful until they were
> > > headed home late that afternoon. They were driving back down
> > > the mountain when she gradually began to realize that she should
> > > not have had that extra latte. They were about an hour away
> > > from anywhere with a rest room and in the middle of nowhere. Her
> > > companion suggested she try to hold it, which she did for a
> > > while. Unfortunately, because of the heavy snow and slow going,
> > > there came a point where she told him that he had better stop
> > > and let her pee beside the road, or it would be the front seat
> > > of his car.
> > >
> > > They stopped and she quickly crawled out beside the car, yanked
> > > her pants down and started. Unfortunately, in the deep snow she
> > > didn't have good footing, so she let her butt rest against the
> > > rear fender to steady herself. Her companion stood on the other
> > > side of the car watching for traffic and indeed was a real
> > > gentleman and refrained from peeking. All she could think about
> > > was the relief she felt despite the rather embarrassing nature
> > > of the situation. Upon finishing however, she soon became aware
> > > of another sensation. As she bent to pull up her pants, the
> > > young lady discovered her buttocks were firmly glued against the
> > > car's fender. Thoughts of tongues frozen to pump handles
> > > immediately came to mind as she attempted to disengage her flesh
> > > from the icy metal. It was quickly apparent that she had a brand
> > > new problem due to the extreme cold.
> > >
> > > Horrified by her plight and yet aware of the humor she answered
> > > her concerns about "what was taking so long" with a reply that
> > > indeed, she was "freezing her butt off and needed some
> > > assistance"! He came around the car as she tried to cover
> > > herself with her sweater and then, as she looked imploringly
> > > into his eyes, he burst out laughing. She too, got the giggles
> > > and when they finally managed to compose themselves, they
> > > assessed her dilemma.
> > >
> > > Obviously, as hysterical as the situation was, they also were
> > > faced with a real problem. Both agreed it would taking
> > > something hot to free her chilly cheeks from the grip of the icy
> > > metal. Thinking about what had gotten her into the predicament
> > > in the first place, both quickly realized that there was only
> > > one way to get her free so, as she looked the other way, her
> > > first time date proceeded to unzip his pants and pee her butt
> > > off the fender. Rescue accomplished, they returned to the car
> > > although for the remainder of the trip home there wasn't much
> > > conversation and apparently, despite their "intimate encounter,"
> > > the two did not see one another again.
> > >
> > > As for the Tonight Show, she took the prize hands down... or
> > > perhaps that should be "pants down." And you thought your first
> > > date was embarrassing. A whole new definition of being "pissed
> > > off" |