[neoranjit]

That was a quick way to find x. Awesome Sumit

[Nitin]

Hahaha...hilarious!!
Takes some creativity to come up with such stuff. I used to find it very hard to resist doing such stuff on my answer papers. Be it school or college, there were ample number of occassions where I'd run out of stuff to write. I more or less specialized in using 1 point/aspect & going all over the world with it. In short,repeat the same point atleast 2-3 times,in order to make my answer look nice & wisely.

[karanraheja]

Sumit , Awesome Stuff ! The Peter one & finding X was hilarious.

[n_aditya]

Q. Why did the Mallu go to Rome?

A. To listen to Pope music.

P.S. No offence to mallu's.

[BaCkSeAtDrIVeR]

Now that we are having plenty of mallu jokes around, here is one. I have picked and mixed quite a few forwards and verbal ones to create this one.

Mammed, who works in (erstwhile) Bombay, was returning after a holiday home. His brother, Ammed, impressed by the big stories of the big city, insisted on accompanying dear brother to el dorado, partly to see the big city, and partly to see if he could find a job.

On the train, (the Konkan Railway was not commissioned then, and it was long journey back then), Mammed told his brother that everybody in Bombay is very magnanimous. "Even elephants are", said Mammed. Ammed did not believe that, and wanted proof. Mammed promised within 10 minutes of getfing off the train at VT.

Ans sure, and they alighted at platform No. 4 of VT, the PA system was blaring "gaadi nambar. do saath panch do Rajdhani express platform nambar paanch pe aane ke sambhavana hai"!!!. Ammed did not brook any doubts about his brother's statements thereafter.

That day evening, they set off for Nariman Point, and at the foot of one of the taaaal buildings, Ammed asked the big one "to whom does this building belong"? Mammed, for once, did know the answer, and decided to ask a passer by. Enlightned by the answer, Mammed passed on the glow of wisdom to younger brother - "that building belongs to maai maaloon nahin sahib".








And a note for those do not know Malayalam :-

"aane" in Malayalam - "Elephant's"
"sambhavan" - "donated by"

And "Sahib" is a common surname amongst Muslims in Malabar.

[srijit]

Hmm, reminds me of our late Communist Chief Minister EK Nayanar visiting the US and thinking that they too were communist on seeing the "Arrival" sign in the airport

Arrival = Ari Vaal (sickle, communist symbol) [mallu pronunciation]

ps: Am pretty sure that it didnt happen, but it should have

[paras211]

Angry Dad: I got a call from your school.They want to meet me .What did u do??
Kid: The teacher asked me 4x2
Dad: and what did ou answer?
KID: i said 8 ,then she asked me 2x4
DaD (super angry): thats the same thing you friggin nitwit .
KID: thats what i told him.

[toiingg]

Got this in a mail

[SumitB]

I know, I too have way too much time on my hands to be posting this.

[iraghava]

Now you guys know what aarti LBM sings every morning!!

[iraghava]

Little Sameer who was a Hindu, was failing in math. His parents tried everything. Tutors, mentors, flash cards, special learning centers, but nothing helped. As a last resort, someone told them to try a Catholic School.

"Those nuns are tough" they said.

Sameer was soon enrolled at St Mary's. After school on the very first day Sameer ran through the door and straight to his room, without even kissing his mother hello. He started studying furiously, books and papers spread all over his room. Right after dinner, he ran upstairs without mentioning TV and hit the books harder than before. His parents were amazed.

This behavior continued for weeks, until report card day arrived. Sameer quietly laid the envelope on the table and went to his room. With great trepidation, his mother opened the report.

Sameer had an gotten an 'A' in math! She ran up to his room, threw her arms around him and asked,
"Sameer , how did this happen? Was it the nuns?"

"No" said Sameer. "On the first day of school when I saw that man nailed to the plus sign, I knew they weren't fooling around".

[SRK]

Heres what I saw today on the LED Display Boards put up by the Mumbai Police at Bandra (under the flyover).

"117 Drivers Jailed for Driving".

The leds werent working properly so the Word "Drunk" wasnt displayed.

[maddy42]

1. If time doesn't wait for you, don't worry!
Just remove the damn battery from the clock and Enjoy life!

2. Expecting the world to treat u fairly coz u r a good person is like
expecting the lion not to attack u coz u r a vegetarian. Think about it.

3. When things go wrong, when sadness fills your heart,
When tears flows from your eyes always say these words…
Eh Ganpat, chal daru la…


4. Don't walk as if you rule the world,
walk as if you don't care who rules the world!
That's called Attitude…! Keep on rocking!

5. Every lady hopes that her daughter will marry a better man than she did
and is convinced that her son will never find a wife as good as his father did!!!

6. He was a good man. He never smoked, drank & had no affair.
When he died, the insurance company refused the claim.
They said, he who never lived, cannot die!

7. A man threw his wife in a pond of Crocodiles?
He's now being harassed by the Animal Rights Activists for being cruel to the Crocodiles!

8. So many options for suicide:
Poison, sleeping pills, hanging,
jumping from a building, lying on train tracks, but we chose Marriage, slow & sure!

9. Only 20 percent boys have brains, rest have girlfriends!

10. All desirable things in life are either
illegal, banned, expensive or married to someone else!

11. Laziness is our biggest enemy- Jawaharlal Nehru
We should learn to love our enemies- Mahatma Gandhi
Ab aap bataaye kiski sune bapu di ya chacha di???

12. 10% of road accidents are due to drunken driving.
Which makes it a logical statement that
90% of accidents are due to driving without drinking!
Piyo Sar Utha Ke!

[n_aditya]

Originally Posted by maddy42

11. Laziness is our biggest enemy- Jawaharlal Nehru. We should learn to love our enemies- Mahatma Gandhi
Ab aap bataaye kiski sune bapu di ya chacha di???

Good ones Maddy. Another one to add to the list :

Alcohol is the enemy of man... But the Bible says "Love thy enemy".

[ramie2400]

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