The Official Joke thread

srijit · 29th May 2008, 13:01

Any explanation needed?

suren181 · 29th May 2008, 13:07

Quote:

Originally Posted by srijit

Any explanation needed?

None at all. I'm not the one who uses many emoticons but just this one time couldn't resist using 2

. God save the Honda owners who get this guy's friend to do up their cars.

srishiva · 29th May 2008, 13:20

Looks like it was a joke. Not a real thing. You can find it on forums.audiworld

diabloo · 29th May 2008, 13:24

The post is in correct thread

Quote:

Originally Posted by srishiva

Looks like it was a joke. Not a real thing. You can find it on forums.audiworld

eclectix 1st · 29th May 2008, 14:05

DISCLAIMER: This is just a joke. No intention to offend any particular sect or language.

Bengali
One Bengali = poet.
Two Bengalis = a film society.
Three Bengalis = political party.
Four Bengalis = two political parties.
More than four Bengalis = Countrywide agitation to bring Ganguli into Team.

Bihari
One Bihari = Laloo Prasad Yadav .
Two Biharis = booth-capturing squad.
Three Biharis = train capture.
Four Biharis = caste riots
Five Biharis = entire literate population of Patna ...

Punjabi
One Punjabi =100 kg hulk named Pinky.
Two Punjabis = Pinky with his bigger brother Twinky.
Three Punjabis = assault on the McAloo Tikkis at the local McDonalds
Four Punjabis = combined IQ equal to one.

Mallu
One Mallu = coconut stall.
Two Mallus = a boat race.
Three Mallus = Gulf job racket.
Four Mallus = oil slick.

UP Bhaiyya
One UP bhaiyya = a milkman.
Two UP bhaiyyas = halwai shop.
Three UP bhaiyyas = a fist-fight in the UP assembly.
Four UP bhaiyyas = mosque-destruction squad.

Gujju
One Gujju = share-broker in a Bombay train.
Two Gujjus = rummy game in a Bombay train.
Three Gujjus = Bombay 's noisiest restaurant.
Four Gujjus = stock market scam.

Andhraite
One Andhraite = chili farmer.
Two Andhraites = software company in New Jersey ..
Three Andhraites = Naxalite outfit.
Four Andhraites = song-and-dance number in a Telugu movie.

Kashmiri
One Kashmiri = carpet salesman.
Two Kashmiris = carpet factory.
Three Kashmiris = terrorist outfit.
Four Kashmiris = shoot-at-sight order.

Tamil-Brahmin
One Tam-Brahm = priest at the Vardarajaperumal temple.
Two Tam-Brahms = Maths tuition class.
Three Tam-Brahms = Queue outside the U.S consulate at 4 a.m.
Four Tam-Brahms = Thyagaraja music festival in Santa Clara

Mumbaikar
One Mumbaikar = footpath vada-pav stall.
Two Mumbaikars= film studio.
Three Mumbaikars = slum.
Four Mumbaikars = The number of people standing on your foot in the train at rush hour.

Sindhi
One Sindhi = currency racket.
Two Sindhis = papad factory.
Three Sindhis = duplicate goods shop in Ulhasnagar ...
Four Sindhis = Hong Kong Retail Traders Association. .

Marwari
One Marwari = The neighbourhood foodstuffs adulterator.
Two Marwaris = 50% of Calcutta
Three Marwaris = Finish off all Gujaratis & Sindhis.
Four Marwaris = Threaten the Jews as a community.

Haryanvi
One Haryanavi = tube light.
Two Haryanavis = agriculture.
Three Haryannavis = Lathi squad.
Four Haryanavis = actually just one was enough.

Last but the best

Kannadiga
One kannadiga = devegowda
Two kannadigas = devegowda with his son Kumarswamy
Three kannadigas = rivals of devegowda family
Four Kannadigas = total no of kannadigas in bengaluru

condor · 29th May 2008, 17:31

@eclectix 1st, pls do search first ! :-)
http://www.team-bhp.com/forum/236486-post1213.html

Rotorhead · 29th May 2008, 17:50

Quote:

Originally Posted by srijit

Attachment 17816

Any explanation needed?

Oh cmon this cant be for real. I am sure its a joke. If its real then this guy defenitely takes the cake for the dumbest guy on earth.

eclectix 1st · 29th May 2008, 17:51

Quote:

Originally Posted by condor

@eclectix 1st, pls do search first ! :-)
http://www.team-bhp.com/forum/236486-post1213.html

I did. My post is an extended version. So I thought it would be appropriate to post again.
cheers:

Rehaan · 30th May 2008, 00:12

Quote:

Originally Posted by srijit

Attachment 17816

Any explanation needed?

Lol. That is really quite a brilliant way to do a port&polish job!!

... except not very good for the engine!

cya
R

JPL · 30th May 2008, 00:30

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rehaan

Lol. That is really quite a brilliant way to do a port&polish job!!

... except not very good for the engine!

cya
R

Rest of the story

Hey guys, please help with my mods gone wrong.....

eclectix 1st · 30th May 2008, 07:38

Quote:

Originally Posted by JPL

Rest of the story

Hey guys, please help with my mods gone wrong.....

Is this guy for real?

He must've just landed from a planet called MORON

MalluDude · 30th May 2008, 13:06

Quote:

Originally Posted by eclectix 1st

Is this guy for real?

Nah..don't think he is.

vivekiny2k · 1st June 2008, 06:04

some of you may find this discussion funny.

How do I know who is the father? - BabyCenter

eclectix 1st · 1st June 2008, 06:44

Quote:

Originally Posted by vivekiny2k

some of you may find this discussion funny.

How do I know who is the father? - BabyCenter

Dec 19th Guy must've been reaaallly rich

iraghava · 1st June 2008, 16:24

An elderly man in North Carolina had owned a large farm for several years. He had a large pond in the back, fixed up really nice, along with some picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and some apple and peach trees. The pond was properly shaped and fixed up for swimming when it was built.

One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn't been there for a while, and look it over. He grabbed a five gallon bucket to bring back some fruit.

As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee. When he came closer, he realized it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond. He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end to shield themselves.

One of the women shouted to him, "We're not coming out until you leave!"

The old man frowned and replied, "I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond naked." Holding the bucket up he said, "I'm here to feed the alligator."

Moral of the story: Old men may move slow but can still think fast.

29th May 2008, 13:01	#2866
srijit BHPian Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Trivandrum Posts: 598 Thanked: 8 Times	Home made Port and Polish questions Any explanation needed?

29th May 2008, 14:05	#2870
eclectix 1st BHPian Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: BANGALORE Posts: 381 Thanked: 5 Times View My Garage	Indian Communities DISCLAIMER: This is just a joke. No intention to offend any particular sect or language. Bengali One Bengali = poet. Two Bengalis = a film society. Three Bengalis = political party. Four Bengalis = two political parties. More than four Bengalis = Countrywide agitation to bring Ganguli into Team. Bihari One Bihari = Laloo Prasad Yadav . Two Biharis = booth-capturing squad. Three Biharis = train capture. Four Biharis = caste riots Five Biharis = entire literate population of Patna ... Punjabi One Punjabi =100 kg hulk named Pinky. Two Punjabis = Pinky with his bigger brother Twinky. Three Punjabis = assault on the McAloo Tikkis at the local McDonalds Four Punjabis = combined IQ equal to one. Mallu One Mallu = coconut stall. Two Mallus = a boat race. Three Mallus = Gulf job racket. Four Mallus = oil slick. UP Bhaiyya One UP bhaiyya = a milkman. Two UP bhaiyyas = halwai shop. Three UP bhaiyyas = a fist-fight in the UP assembly. Four UP bhaiyyas = mosque-destruction squad. Gujju One Gujju = share-broker in a Bombay train. Two Gujjus = rummy game in a Bombay train. Three Gujjus = Bombay 's noisiest restaurant. Four Gujjus = stock market scam. Andhraite One Andhraite = chili farmer. Two Andhraites = software company in New Jersey .. Three Andhraites = Naxalite outfit. Four Andhraites = song-and-dance number in a Telugu movie. Kashmiri One Kashmiri = carpet salesman. Two Kashmiris = carpet factory. Three Kashmiris = terrorist outfit. Four Kashmiris = shoot-at-sight order. Tamil-Brahmin One Tam-Brahm = priest at the Vardarajaperumal temple. Two Tam-Brahms = Maths tuition class. Three Tam-Brahms = Queue outside the U.S consulate at 4 a.m. Four Tam-Brahms = Thyagaraja music festival in Santa Clara Mumbaikar One Mumbaikar = footpath vada-pav stall. Two Mumbaikars= film studio. Three Mumbaikars = slum. Four Mumbaikars = The number of people standing on your foot in the train at rush hour. Sindhi One Sindhi = currency racket. Two Sindhis = papad factory. Three Sindhis = duplicate goods shop in Ulhasnagar ... Four Sindhis = Hong Kong Retail Traders Association. . Marwari One Marwari = The neighbourhood foodstuffs adulterator. Two Marwaris = 50% of Calcutta Three Marwaris = Finish off all Gujaratis & Sindhis. Four Marwaris = Threaten the Jews as a community. Haryanvi One Haryanavi = tube light. Two Haryanavis = agriculture. Three Haryannavis = Lathi squad. Four Haryanavis = actually just one was enough. Last but the best Kannadiga One kannadiga = devegowda Two kannadigas = devegowda with his son Kumarswamy Three kannadigas = rivals of devegowda family Four Kannadigas = total no of kannadigas in bengaluru

29th May 2008, 13:20	#2868
srishiva Senior - BHPian Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Bengaluru Posts: 4,375 Thanked: 2,256 Times	Looks like it was a joke. Not a real thing. You can find it on forums.audiworld

29th May 2008, 17:31	#2871
condor Distinguished - BHPian Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Speed-brkr City Posts: 15,864 Thanked: 16,014 Times View My Garage	@eclectix 1st, pls do search first ! :-) http://www.team-bhp.com/forum/236486-post1213.html

1st June 2008, 06:04	#2878
vivekiny2k Senior - BHPian Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: cincinnati, jabalpur,chennai Posts: 1,264 Thanked: 209 Times View My Garage	some of you may find this discussion funny. How do I know who is the father? - BabyCenter

1st June 2008, 16:24	#2880
iraghava Senior - BHPian Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: Bhaiyyaland Posts: 8,033 Thanked: 265 Times View My Garage	An elderly man in North Carolina had owned a large farm for several years. He had a large pond in the back, fixed up really nice, along with some picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and some apple and peach trees. The pond was properly shaped and fixed up for swimming when it was built. One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn't been there for a while, and look it over. He grabbed a five gallon bucket to bring back some fruit. As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee. When he came closer, he realized it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond. He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end to shield themselves. One of the women shouted to him, "We're not coming out until you leave!" The old man frowned and replied, "I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond naked." Holding the bucket up he said, "I'm here to feed the alligator." Moral of the story: Old men may move slow but can still think fast.